Allie's War Early Years

by JC Andrijeski

  “You really think I’d send you naked and wet to another’s tent?” Dalejem asked him incredulously. His long, dark hair hung to his shoulders, wet and straight, and Revik felt his tongue thicken again.

  “Are you going to let me come inside?” he said.

  “That depends,” Dalejem said. He cocked an eyebrow at him. “Did you tell them?”

  “What?” Revik stared at him, seeing seers pass out of the corner of his eye, and feeling them notice Dalejem’s nakedness. “Go inside the fucking tent!” he said. “Can we talk about this there?”

  “No,” Dalejem said. “Did you tell them?”

  “Tell them what?”

  “What the fuck do you think?” the other seer said, frowning for real that time.

  Revik just looked at him, then tensed, hearing laughter behind him as a few female seers passed. He glanced over his shoulder in time to see one of them looking pointedly at Dalejem’s crotch, a smile at her lips. Revik didn’t hear exactly what she said to her friend, but he got the overall gist. He glared back at the other male.

  “Are you fucking with me right now?” he said.

  “Meaning what?”

  “Are you trying to make me jealous?”

  “I’m honestly not sure. Why? Is it working?”

  Revik felt his anger worsen, even as he glanced behind him again. “Am I supposed to make an announcement in the construct? Seriously? Right now?”

  “Why not?” Dalejem’s eyes grew a touch colder. “You seemed to have absolutely no problem announcing your sexual needs to all of them last night, brother.”

  Realizing he was serious, Revik exhaled in an open anger.

  Opening his light then, he sent up a flare in the construct, if only to get the seers in the immediate vicinity to notice him. Once he had, silence fell over their whole area of the working Barrier space, and Revik felt suddenly a lot more naked than he had with the towel.

  I’m rescinding my offer of last night, he sent clearly into that space. If you’re wondering why I’m interrupting your goddamned breakfast to tell you that... ask brother Dalejem, he added, letting his irritation be felt in the construct as well. I’m finding he’s a bit of a control freak.

  Revik heard laughter that time.

  In the pause that followed, he continued to feel open amusement in the Barrier construct, along with some knowing smiles about him and Dalejem, a few flickers of surprise and even a few pulses of annoyance. Some of those he even recognized by then.

  Ontari was one of the loudest in the amusement side of things.

  Revik couldn’t focus on any of that for long, however, since Dalejem was still standing there, arms folded, naked.

  Moreover, he was now mouthing words at him.

  Realizing what the seer wanted him to say, Revik clicked aloud, shaking his head.

  I am also no longer taking offers, he added in that same space, rolling his eyes openly at the older seer. “...Although I’m pretty sure that was implied with the first thing,” he added aloud to Dalejem, his voice holding a touch of real annoyance. “Now will you go back inside your damned tent? Or are you making some kind of offer of your own out here?”

  Smiling, the seer bowed, then receded backwards through the flaps of the tent, holding one side open for Revik to enter with him.

  Once inside, the other male didn’t wait. Catching hold of him by the arms, he had Revik down on the mat in a matter of seconds, pinning him to the cushion with both hands before he studied Revik’s face in the dimmer light.

  “Are you really okay with this?” he asked then, still watching Revik’s face. “I think Balidor thinks I snapped... that I bullied you into being my sex slave in a fit of jealousy.”

  Revik rolled his eyes, clicking a little.

  “He’s not entirely wrong,” Dalejem added.

  Revik laughed at that, too.

  He was having trouble focusing though, especially when the other seer pressed his body against his side.

  “I thought I was just an ex-Rook?” Revik said then, biting his lip when his pain worsened. “Who cares what I think? It’s all karma and bad spaces on my part anyway, is it not, brother?”

  Revik meant the words as a joke, but Dalejem didn’t find them amusing.

  He stared down at Revik instead, a frown pulling at his full lips.

  “Don’t talk like that any more, Revik,” he said then, his voice serious. “I mean it. I hate it when you say things like that, brother. I don’t want to hear it any more. Not with me.”

  “You don’t want to hear what?” Revik said, quirking an eyebrow at him. He was torn between amusement and annoyance. “About me having been a Rook? I was a Rook, Jem. I don’t think anyone’s going to let you forget that, especially not if we’re fucking.”

  Dalejem winced.

  “Don’t call me Jem, either,” he said, his mouth firming. “I like that you call me by my full name. Hardly anyone ever does... not even Balidor. And no, I didn’t mean you having been a Rook. I know you were a Rook. I don’t care. I meant about you being bad now... about you being somehow wrong or evil inside because of what you did in the past.”

  Revik stared up at him, puzzled.

  “But it’s true, isn’t it?” he said finally, when the other didn’t speak. “My light is corrupt now. It will always be corrupt from what I did.”

  Dalejem’s expression grew genuinely angry.

  “Your light’s not fucking corrupt, Dehgoies! Gods above! Are you an old man? That’s old fashioned, to think that way... and dogmatic. And untrue.”

  “Don’t call me Dehgoies,” Revik said, his voice curt. “I don’t like it.”

  “Fine... Revik,” Dalejem said, clicking at him. “I mean what I said. Stop thinking of yourself that way. It’s pissing me off. That’s not what those fucking monks are teaching you in those caves, is it?”

  Revik thought about his words.

  “No,” Revik said a moment later, shaking his head slowly. “No. That’s not what they teach.”

  “Good,” Dalejem said. He exhaled, but didn’t let go of Revik’s wrists where he had them held down on the mat. “Then listen to them. Not those ignorant assholes in Seertown.” He paused, his eyes narrowing. “Is that why you don’t like to be called Dehgoies? Because of your adoptive family?”

  Revik felt his jaw harden.

  Looking down at him, Dalejem exhaled, clicking under his breath.

  “I don’t care, Revik,” he said, shaking him lightly. “I’m not one who gives a damn about the prominence of the old clan families.”

  “They do not like me,” Revik said.

  “Is that all it is?”

  “Isn’t that enough?” Revik retorted. “I never asked to be given their name. I did not want it, and they did not want me. I don’t care if the others call me Dehgoies, but I don’t want you to call me that. Do you have a fucking problem with that, brother?”

  Dalejem soothed him with his light, sending warmth into his skin until Revik’s anger dissipated somewhat.

  “No,” Dalejem said, his voice as calming as his aleimi. “I have no problem with that, Revik... and I am sorry. I won’t call you Dehgoies.”

  Revik nodded, but still felt puzzlement coiling around his light.

  Fighting to let it go, he shrugged.

  “Are you having second thoughts about me, brother?” he said finally. He kept his voice subdued, careful not to push, even as he looked up. “This isn’t the conversation I thought we’d be having in here. Do you not want to do this with me now? Just tell me.”

  Dalejem just stared at him for a moment.

  Then he frowned.

  Gripping Revik’s wrists more tightly, he pressed his erection deliberately against Revik’s thigh, closing his eyes for longer than a blink as he let out a low, pained sound. Revik groaned with him when he felt the pain in the other’s light. He let out a gasp when Dalejem opened, almost losing touch with the room when the other seer sent him even more of his pain. When he opened his eyes again, Da
lejem’s expression had lost most of its hardness.

  “I want to fuck you so badly I don’t know how to start this,” the seer said. “And I’m still jealous. I know you prefer females... and I’m not female, brother.”

  Revik frowned, about to protest, then to argue maybe.

  Finally, he shut his mouth, shrugging.

  “So?” he said. “I don’t care.”

  Dalejem nodded, but a frown touched his lips.

  “We’ll figure that out later,” he said neutrally.

  It occurred to Revik that was almost what he’d said when Revik talked about returning to the caves of the Pamir.

  Before he could decide what to do, the other seer lowered his mouth.

  They were kissing again once he had, harder once Revik started kissing him back. They kissed until Revik’s light began to open, until he started losing that clenching around his chest and heart, and then losing himself, first in the pain, then in the sensation, then back in the pain when it grew unbearable again, slanting out his mind.

  By the time Dalejem ended it that time, Revik groaned, following him up with his mouth. He felt sick again, in a way he hadn’t the night before. Vulnerability lived there this time, not only fear, but an awareness of the other’s light, of his mind probing his.

  “Are you going to let me in?” Dalejem asked, as if he’d heard him.

  Revik hesitated, then nodded. “Yes.”

  The seer’s expression grew taut, right before he kissed him again, hard, using enough light in his tongue to slant out Revik’s vision. He had the towel off Revik’s waist a moment later, and Revik felt himself handing over more of his light, even as that vulnerability slid into something closer to panic. Dalejem pressed more heat into him, trying to reassure him, even as he started exploring Revik’s body with his hands.

  “Gods. Those fuckers marked you all over,” he frowned, looking down at him. He looked up at Revik. “I felt them, you know.”

  Revik closed his eyes, too conscious of the other’s hands to think clearly.

  “I’m sorry,” he managed.

  Dalejem gripped his hair tighter. “You aren’t yet, but you might be later, brother. I’m not sure if I’m up for being gentle with this.”

  Revik nodded. He fought to keep it off his face, but the other’s words immediately made his pain spike, nearly blinding him. When he could see again, Dalejem was watching his face, his expression intent.

  Revik saw the understanding there and winced.

  “That Rook was right?” Dalejem said, his voice neutral once more, despite the look in his eyes. “You want me to hurt you?”

  Revik felt the other male thinking about the scars on his back when he didn’t answer. Revik didn’t feel judgment there, although he had been looking for it. Instead, he felt the other seer trying to decide what to do with that information exactly.

  “It helps me... open,” Revik admitted, still watching that high-cheekboned face.

  “Is it the only thing that helps?”

  Revik fought with embarrassment, shrugging.

  “No,” he said, then amended. “...Well. Sometimes. It was difficult for me. It still is. In the Rooks, I think it was more sensation, though... intensity. Terian was big on that.”

  “Then he really was your lover? That Rook in the clearing?”

  Revik hesitated again, then nodded. “Yes.”

  “For how long?”

  Revik thought about that, too, feeling his face warm.

  “We were exclusive for awhile...” He fought to remember those years, clenching his jaw when he only got impressions, pieces. “...But he was unstable. I wanted women, and...” Realizing what he was saying, he flushed. “It was different. With Terry, it wasn’t much more than sex. We were friends.” Flinching again when he heard his own words, he added, “I mean, we were really friends. I took care of Terry. Watched out for him. He has a tendency to get obsessive, though, including with me. So I distanced myself... broke it off...”

  He let out a lower groan when Dalejem started touching him again, pulling on his light.

  He felt the older seer working over him more methodically now. He unwound structures around Revik’s heart and belly almost before Revik knew he was doing it, leaving him so open he didn’t know how to fight it, to pull any of himself back. He found himself growing conscious of the age difference between them, realized he didn’t even know what that age difference was, precisely.

  But Dalejem was in the Ahdipan. Of course he would be good with his light.

  Probably better with it than any seer Revik had been with.

  Dalejem grunted, leaning into him again.

  He’d let go of Revik’s other wrist by then, and clutched his hair, holding him down as he continued to work over his light and body.

  “You had a lot more Adhipan than me last night, brother,” he muttered.

  “Shut up about that,” Revik said, gasping when the other pulled on him harder.

  Then Dalejem was massaging Revik’s body again, and Revik closed his eyes, fighting the part of him that continued to panic, even as he felt his pain worsen. He felt the other male still tugging at him with his light, experimenting, learning him with his hands and his aleimi. He found himself asking for more, pulling on him back, even as the other seer shifted focus, using his light to calm Revik down that time. When Revik looked up next, Dalejem was watching his face, studying him intently. He saw Revik looking back at him and sent another ribbon of pain in Revik’s direction, making him groan aloud, half fighting where Dalejem held him.

  “Don’t,” Revik said. “Please. Let me give you head...”

  “Not yet.”

  “Please...”

  “I don’t want to come yet. And I watched you last night. You like giving head, brother. A little too much, if you ask me...”

  Revik flushed. He bit his lip, wanting to argue, then didn’t.

  “How long are you going to punish me for this?” he said finally. “For what I did last night?”

  “As long as I want, brother.”

  Revik let out another groan when Dalejem’s hand and light started massaging his cock.

  For a long moment, he couldn’t think at all. When his vision finally cleared, he was clinging to the other man’s arms, his light so wrapped in Dalejem’s he could barely see. He could tell without looking he was fully extended. He could feel the other male thinking about fucking him again, about intercourse, and Revik let out a heavier groan, clutching him tighter.

  “I saw you as a kid, you know,” Dalejem said, switching the topic without changing tone. “When we shared light.”

  Revik tensed, but didn’t avert his gaze. He tried again to see what the other male was talking about, but that time, Dalejem pushed him gently away from his light.

  “You don’t need to see that right now, Revik.”

  “You won’t tell me?”

  Dalejem looked at him, then nodded slowly. “I will,” he said. “But not right now.”

  Revik stared at him, fighting confusion, another whisper of shame that wanted to crawl over his light. He couldn’t see anything about what Dalejem meant, but the shame only worsened as he lay there, until he had to fight not to let it show.

  “No, brother,” Dalejem said. He clicked softly, reassuringly, caressing his face with one hand. “No. I did not bring that up to embarrass you, or to hold the information over you. I’ll never share anything about you with anyone, Revik, not if you don’t want me to. I promise that you can trust me in this, no matter what happens with us. I’ll never try to manipulate you with that information either, or judge you for anything in your past...” Pausing, he added, his voice harder, “Well... apart from maybe orgies with my friends.”

  Revik let out an involuntary laugh, gasping when the other seer went back to massaging his body. He let out a longer groan when he wouldn’t stop, and wouldn’t let him come.

  “Please...” he said. “Please...”

  “I want you to trust me, Revik.”
>
  Revik shook his head, but not really in a no. “I do,” he said. “I do. It’s just...”

  “...You don’t really trust anyone,” Dalejem finished for him.

  Revik hesitated, fighting to think past the other’s hands and light.

  Then he shrugged, a sideways tilt of his head.

  “I don’t know,” he said truthfully.

  Revik closed his eyes when the other started touching him more deliberately again, losing himself in skin and light. He felt himself sinking into the mat, losing touch with what he was doing again, what they were even talking about. He cried out weakly when Dalejem started stroking the hirik, or hard end of his extended cock lightly with his fingers.

  “Fuck,” he gasped. “Fuck... please. Please...”

  He felt the other reacting to his words.

  He realized that Dalejem was muting those reactions, too, at least from where Revik himself could feel them. Once he felt that much, Revik softened his body even more, turning to his side so he was facing him.

  “Please, brother,” he murmured, looking into his face. “Please... I’ll do whatever you want. Anything... please...” He kissed him, using his light, pulling on him slowly, more sensually, even as his hand slid down his body. “Please,” he murmured. “Gods, please... let me...”

  Dalejem laughed, even as he sent more heat into Revik’s belly, making him gasp.

  Revik was still fighting for control over his light when Dalejem pushed him away lightly with his hand, then gripped his hair and shoulder more firmly to push him down onto the mat. Once he had Revik more or less on his back again, he pinned him by the wrist.

  “You’re a dangerous little fuck,” Dalejem said affectionately.

  Revik winced at the “little” comment, but didn’t speak.

  Dalejem felt it anyway.

  “I meant age, brother,” he said, rolling his eyes and clicking. He started massaging Revik’s body again with his free hand, starting with his chest and moving down his body. “Very little else of you is ‘little,’ brother... certainly not this,” he said, pulling harder on his cock with his light.

  Revik groaned, even as the other’s hand brought another low cry to his lips.