I marched across the room and grabbed my heaviest overcoat, throwing it on.
“What the hell are you doing?” she asked, her voice losing some of its seductive edge. I was already at the door, keys in hand.
“Say whatever the hell you want to the press. I’m going to go be with my wife, even if it means I have to hike through the Rocky Mountains myself.”
I slammed the door behind me, and I’d never felt more right about a decision in my life.
I’d done some stupid shit in my life, but this had to be the pinnacle. Fuck, I was driving over an actual pinnacle to prove a point. To prove I was a man of my word. A man who could be trusted. A man who would do anything to protect his wife.
Wife.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter. My knuckles were white. Almost as white as the blizzard swirling around me.
I’d used the word like a toy. I used it for fun. To seduce her. To fuck her breathless. It had all been a game. A business game I played. The risk and the stakes were high, but so was the payout. I needed a wife for a year, and it seemed harmless. As harmless as a fake marriage to your ex-girlfriend can be.
But I fucked it up. Royally.
As soon as Olivia showed up at my doorstep, I should have known. I had given Haley reason to doubt me. Two weeks had gone by without a touch. Without a kiss. Without being buried inside her, sleeping inside her. What in the hell had I been doing?
Was I trying to sabotage the best thing that had ever happened in my life?
The tires spun as I hit a deep patch of snow coming down the mountain. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I could see the town on the horizon, but I didn’t know how I’d get there. The snow was coming down sideways and I kept fishtailing every two miles. This was as fucked up as winter storms got.
And I was driving in it.
There was no way I’d stop now. Not until I made it to her. Not until she knew the truth. Not until I kissed her soft pouty lips. Not until she understood that Chase Hawthorne was her husband in every way. That I was the man she deserved.
I tried to steer over a sheet of ice. The car started to slide and I shifted to the center of the road. It was getting worse out here. Just over the railing the mountain descended into a dark pit. Like hell if I was ending up in the bottom of the canyon tonight.
“Shit,” I muttered, slowing to an unbelievable crawl. I could walk in the snow faster than this. No, I wasn’t driving over the cliff. I was driving toward the woman who had saved me.
I swore when I got out of this storm, Haley would know everything. And this time, our life would be real.
26
Haley
I had never known this kind of deep, painful loneliness. Not even when Chase first dumped me in college. Not even in the quiet, panicked weeks after my father’s sudden death. Not even when my mother moved out of the Peppertree and into her own place in town. Not even when I first realized that the Peppertree was hemorrhaging revenue and losing beloved clientele and I noticed that I was on the fast track to failure. Nothing could have ever prepared me for the way I felt right now.
I was sitting at my desk in the office nook of my suite here at the Peppertree, staring out the window as the snow fell in heavy swathes of white from the dark gray sky. I could barely even make out the silhouettes of fir trees, the bluish triangles of mountains in the distance. Everything was washed in white and gray and black. Colorado nights were so long in the winter. Long and blisteringly cold. Everything felt emotionless and endless, and it was only adding to my sour mood.
It had been two long, aching weeks without Chase by my side. Sure, we texted each other and called in the mornings and nights, but our conversations were always so short, interrupted by work and obligations.
Chase was off in Chicago, at his beautiful modern penthouse, probably surrounded by his friends and family. City life suited him. There was always so much going on, parties and galas and fancy meetings. He could command a room without a word, his presence powerful and charismatic enough on its own. I had no doubt that he was enjoying his time there. He loved his work and he was not afraid to let it consume him if it meant he would get a great deal out of it. I sighed, thinking about how I used to be the same way. But lately it was like pulling teeth trying to drag myself out of bed and into work. It wasn’t like I even had a commute. I literally lived inside my own job. But I could hardly bring myself to talk to my employees, to confer with the construction crews and foremen and contractors who were all hired to revamp the Peppertree according to my plans, my dream.
I used to think that all I needed in this life, all I desired, was to have control over the resort again. To bring it back to life and restore it to former glory. I daydreamed about it all the time, how I would turn things around, how the joy of resurrecting my father’s legacy would be enough to make me truly happy. I knew now that I was wrong all that time. I needed more than the Peppertree to be content. I needed love, and not just from anyone. I needed Chase.
Perhaps I was just a fool, to let myself have feelings for him again. After all, wasn’t one heartbreak enough? Why was I so eager to hand him my heart only to have him shatter it again? There had been all those moments when we were together, when I thought for certain he felt the same way I did. But it was wishful thinking, I was sure of it now. Why would a man like Chase Hawthorne ever truly want me? In my current sadness, I was convincing myself that this was all out of some obligation. Maybe he still felt badly about breaking my heart in college, and he didn’t want to steal the Peppertree from me, too. It was just to ease his own guilt. It was all about the art of the business transaction, wasn’t it?
I stood up and paced back and forth in my suite, gritting my teeth to keep from crying. I thought about Olivia, that stunningly beautiful blonde woman who had confronted me in the bathroom at our reception party. When I compared myself to her, it didn’t make sense why Chase would ever really choose me over her. She was basically a supermodel. She was a city girl, clearly, with her high-heeled thigh-high boots and her skintight dress. I was just some lonely country girl who lived in a failing resort on top of a lonely mountain. I was nothing like her, nothing like Chase. We were from two different worlds. How could we ever reconcile those differences? Besides, I knew he was only in this for one real reason: to produce an heir.
It still made no sense to me why he would choose me as the mother, when a woman like Olivia existed. Maybe, I told myself, she wasn’t interested in carrying a child. Maybe he just wanted to use me for my body, to produce a baby, only to hand over that child to his true life partner, Olivia. That thought made my heart ache so painfully that I had to sit down on the edge of my bed.
“Oh God, I am so stupid,” I lamented, cradling my head in my hands.
I had told myself not to fall for him, not to let my feelings get in the way of our business deal. I reminded myself of the facts. This was only meant to be a year-long, pretend marriage. I was only in this for the Peppertree. Chase was only in this to ease his guilt and to gain an heir. It was basically an arranged marriage, wasn’t it? I groaned, shaking my head sadly.
He had been so subdued on the phone lately. The text messages had dwindled down to only a few during the day, whereas before we had been talking so constantly that I had to charge my phone repeatedly over the course of my day. Perhaps he was just trying to wind me down, put the brakes on our relationship to remind me how it was supposed to be. We had gotten ahead of ourselves, let the drama and fantasy carry us away. Or at least, I had. Chase was cool and collected, as usual. I was certain he had only played along with my emotions because he was hesitant about hurting my feelings yet again.
“I drove him right into this, didn’t I?” I asked aloud. “I told myself I wouldn’t fall for him. Not again. And here I am, unable to sleep or work or even think without Chase crossing my mind. I hate this. I’m such an idiot.”
Was I really so starved for love and attention that I had tricked myself into believing that Chase really cared for
me? Had I blinded myself to the reality of our situation? Had I really let my feelings override my logic, my work ethic, my dedication to the Peppertree? It certainly seemed that way, and I didn’t know how the hell to reverse it. How was I supposed to struggle through the rest of this year, knowing that I had played myself like a fool, fallen in love with a man who only wanted me for my womb? I was a businesswoman. I knew how this stuff was supposed to work. Don’t get attached. Don’t put someone else’s needs above your own. Keep your eye on the prize. And in this case, the prize was getting to go back to the way things were. To walk away from Chase at the end of this year and go back to running the resort, pouring my heart and soul into my late father’s dream while I let my own dreams die.
And that was the best case scenario. After that showdown with Olivia in the bathroom I had even more to worry about. As awful and cruel as she was, she seemed to know a lot about Chase, to have a history with him. Judging from how effortlessly mean she was to me, a complete stranger, I had no reason to believe her feelings for Chase would be enough to keep her from ruining this whole business deal to get back at him. She didn’t love him-- she wanted to spite him. And me. I had no doubt about her determination to do so. Women like her were cunning, with boundless energy for their evil deeds.
Then I wondered to myself how Chase could have ever been with a woman like that. Sure, she was incredibly beautiful, the kind of femme fatale I could picture escorting Chase to all his high-class galas and gallery openings in the big city. She looked every bit the part. But her personality was so foul, so cruel, that it seemed to contradict everything I knew about Chase to imagine them even getting along, much less being in love.
“Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did,” I mumbled to myself. “Maybe my image of Chase isn’t the reality. I’m casting my own dreams on him instead of seeing him for who he really is.”
But that just didn’t seem possible. I remembered our moments together, when we were pressed close together, wrapped in each other’s arms like we were the only two people in the entire universe. Like we were meant to be, tied together by fate or destiny or whatever I could fool myself into believing. Chase was never cruel, even though he could be tough when he needed to be. Unless he had just kept that side of him hidden from me all along.
“No. That’s not possible. Chase is a good man,” I argued with myself. I looked across the room and caught sight of myself in the mirror. The light outside was fading, the evening growing later and darker. My face looked pale and tired. I hadn’t been sleeping well, not without Chase sleeping next to me. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was close to ten o’clock.
“I need a drink,” I told myself. I got up, put on a heavier coat, and headed downstairs to the bar. I ordered a whiskey sour and took a seat at the same table where I had first seen Chase sitting that fateful evening when he sauntered back into my life. I nursed my drink, drowning in sadness and despair, wishing that some sign would come to me and show me that things would be alright again someday. I spent hours sitting there, downing drink after drink, until I was nearly half-asleep and no happier than before. The bar was empty by now, the bartenders gone home already, leaving me to sit in the near-darkness, wallowing in my sorrows.
Until I saw a tall, broad shadow lumbering into the moonlight shining through the massive window. I squinted, thinking my boze-fuzzy mind was playing tricks on me. But then my heart skipped a beat. The figure came closer, and the moonlight illuminated his face. It was Chase. Standing there in a heavy coat and boots, a slouchy beanie pulled over his hair and snowflakes clinging to him all over, as though he’d been trudging through the snow for hours. I could see he was ever so slightly shivering, and I stood up, almost too shocked to speak. This had to be a dream.
“Chase?” I murmured.
27
Chase
I pointed to the shocked serving staff members with a finger that was still numb from the cold. “Out,” I ordered. My tone wasn’t cruel, but it was firm.
Everyone looked at each other in shock, not moving.
“Did you all forget I’m the co-owner of this place? Everyone out!” At the sound of my sharp bark, the staff hustled and set down whatever they were doing to clear out from the restaurant, and as soon as the last of them was out the door, I locked it behind me and turned to face a petrified Haley, who was gaping at me from the corner booth.
“That’s more like it,” I growled, crossing the room toward her.
“Oh...my God, where did you…? How did you?”
“I drove,” I dismissed, stripping off my jacket and tossing it to the floor carelessly as the feeling started to come back to my face.
“Are you joking?” She looked stunned. “It’s too dangerous. You could have died.”
“I didn’t.”
“What?” she gasped. “Chase, you know how that’s how my father—”
I stopped her as I reached that same corner table where we first saw each other. “Nothing’s too far for you. I’m safe. I’m here.”
Before she could answer, I grabbed her with an ice-cold hand and stood her up.
Her eyes were still open wide, true shock in her expression, and I can’t imagine how wild and insane I must have looked barging in here like this.
“Why, though?” she finally asked, looking more fearful by the moment.
“Olivia showed up at my place,” I explained, and her face darkened. “She showed up naked under a fur coat and tried to blackmail me into having an affair. Said she had evidence about us and that she’d go public and tell everyone our marriage is fake if I didn’t do what she wanted.”
“Oh my God, no,” she breathed. She put her head in her hands and looked like she was going to have a panic attack. “No, no, no.”
“Haley,” I started, but she turned away from me, biting her fingernails.
“I never should have agreed to this,” she nearly sobbed. “To any of this. I never thought it would get this complicated. I wanted to keep the Peppertree so badly, and the idea of having a baby of my own sounded so great at the time, but...” She turned to face me, and her eyes were rimmed with red. “I can’t do this with someone who doesn’t love me back.”
The words hit me like an arrow through the heart, and my jaw dropped as I watched tears stream down her face.
“I know it’s pathetic,” she sobbed. “But I can’t lie anymore. I love you, damn it, as much as I tried not to, no matter how much I tried to get you out of my head, I love you. I’ve loved you since...God, I can’t even remember where the facade ended and the real thing started, but I’m so, so far deep in it. I can’t do this anymore, not like this.”
I was stunned to silence for a few long moments as she sniffled. At last, I spoke in a soft, still tone.
“Haley, do you have any idea why I just crossed a mountain in a snowstorm?”
She stared at me like I was about to play some cruel joke.
“For you,” I confessed, and I watched her face go bright red. “All for you. To get everything that’s been in my heart off my chest for...hell, for weeks.”
“W-what?” she stuttered, her eyes going wide. She knew what was coming. I knew it in my heart, and it was written in her expression--it was something she felt too, but she’d never dared let herself go there out of fear.
I took Haley’s hands, and they warmed mine as I squeezed them.
“I turned my back on her and came here, because...because I love you,” I gushed, and I saw tears spring to Haley’s eyes.
“I love you, Haley Simmons,” I repeated, my face splitting into a laughing smile, and I picked her up to hug her, swinging her in a circle. “I love you, and I don’t want our marriage to be fake. I want this to be real, I want us to have a life together.”
She silenced me with a kiss, grabbing my face and pressing hers to mine. Her heart was pounding so hard I could feel it as I set her back down, and for a moment that felt like eternity, we got lost in each other.
Finally, she bro
ke the kiss and half-whispered, half-sobbed into my ear, “I swear to God if you’re not serious.”
“Let me show you just how serious I am,” I growled meaningfully, and I unzipped my pants. “I’m going to show you exactly what I wanted to do the moment I saw you at this very table. And after that, I don’t ever want us to be apart for a second.”
My cock sprang free, and I ground it against her, pushing her down against the table and feeling her hair in my hands as she buried her face in my muscles.
“I’m going to build a life with you, have a child with you, and we’re going to run this place, right here in the mountains...together.”
I ripped my shirt off. I thought I heard buttons roll uselessly to the ground, and I didn’t care. The mess of clothes coming off was such a blur I barely even noticed. All I cared about was touching more of Haley and her touching more of me.
Soon, I felt her nails digging into the skin of my back while I pressed a kiss deep into her mouth.
Her tongue was warm, and everything about her was so ripe and ready to be plucked that I could have come inside her right then.
We soon tossed our shoes aside, and her bra came next. The moment her breasts were exposed, I was on them.
My teeth grazed her nipples, and my tongue massaged them until they were stiff and needy. Her breasts seemed fuller than ever, and the feeling of those stiff nipples between my teeth made me so hard I could barely stand it.
She was bent backward on the table, and I was looming over her, my hands on her hips one moment and her sides the next.
“Do you know how much,” she started, interrupted by her own sharp gasp as I pinched a nipple in my teeth, “how much I’ve wanted to tell you I touch myself thinking about you?”
My Playboy Fiance Page 17