For Always

by Janae Mitchell

  She cocked her head to the side and asked, "Well, what if she wants kids? Or are ya tellin' me he can…?" She looked at me as if she was gagin' my ability to procreate.

  "No, Nellie, he can't have kids. But there's always adoption or artificial insemination, if she chose to go that route. There are single women who do that all the time." I had no idea what he was talkin' 'bout, so I just sat quietly and listened to them argue over our lives.

  "You've got to be kiddin' me with this," Nellie said as she laughed, but not in a humorous way.

  "I'm just throwin' out the options they'd have if they pursued a relationship. They would have options, Nellie. Look at it from their point of view. What would you do?" Max asked.

  She glared at him, but I could tell she was thinkin' 'bout it. "She's barely seventeen. She may think she knows what she wants, but she ain't lived long enough to know for sure. I didn't know anything at seventeen, or even twenty or twenty-five, for that matter. I thought I did, but…" She looked down at the counter, shakin' her head.

  "But you lived your life, made your own choices, right or wrong, and learned from them. And look how great ya turned out," he said, beamin' a smile at her. When she didn't smile back, he said, "She's gonna have to do the same. At some point, you're gonna have to let go."

  "I never have to let go," she said, barely above a whisper.

  I leaned forward and touched her hand. "I'm with ya on this. Ya know I am. I love her…enough to let her go. However, I'm stuck here, Nellie. I can't leave. And unless y'all leave, which I don't expect ya to, it's gonna be hard…on all of us." I sat back in my seat, shakin' my head. "I never meant for this to happen, or even thought it could, or ever would…but it has. And I don't know how to fix it."

  She came around the table and wrapped her arms 'round me, which reminded me of Ma. That's all it took. After a hundred years of holdin' 'em back, tears poured from my eyes as I buried my face in her chest. It was one of those loud cries that felt good to let out, but embarrassed ya when it was over. She patted my shoulder and told me it was gonna be alright, but we both knew better. Bein' dead would never be alright.

  * * *

  I avoided Malyn the next couple of days, just tryin' to figure out what I was gonna do. I told Nellie and Max not to tell her I was still here. I figured it'd be better, less distractin', to wait 'til after her birthday to work all of this out. Nellie thought that was a good idea, too. I did hang out with Max some while Nellie took her to town, though. I was 'bout to go crazy out there in the woods by myself. I don't see how I did it for so long before Nellie and Malyn got here.

  Max asked me all sorts of questions, some 'bout my life, some 'bout scientific things, how I did things, moved stuff, or how I felt 'bout certain things. Then I got to see Malyn’s new Jeep, as Max called it, get delivered. "That ain't no Tin Lizzie."

  He laughed. "No, son, it ain't."

  We piddled 'round for a bit until Max said they were almost home. I hid just enough to see, yet be unseen. When they pulled up, they both took my breath away. Nellie didn't even look like herself. And Malyn…I didn't see how she could get more beautiful each time I saw her, but she did. She looked older somehow, too. Whatever it was, I liked it.

  I waited on them after they went in, but I wished I hadn't. When Malyn came back out, I almost ran to her and begged her to stay home with me. I had a longin' for her that almost hurt, which I assumed was jealousy. I knew where they were goin' and who she'd be with, and I hated it. Nobody had ever made me feel the way she did—good or bad.

  I remember seein' girls I'd courted out with other guys, but I couldn't have cared less. Yet just the thought of Malyn bein' with that sap was too much. I knew at that moment that this was gonna be too much for me to bear. As selfish as it may be, I wanted her to be mine.

  I turned and ran as far away as I was allowed to go, but still not far enough. I'd never be able to escape myself, which is all I wanted to do. It started gettin' dark, so I waited for Malyn to come home. When I heard her jeep pull up, I ran up to the house, makin' sure I stayed out of sight, but I was disappointed to realize she wasn't in it. I tried not to think 'bout where she was or what she was doin' for the next couple of hours 'til I heard his truck pull up. I kept myself from watchin' her kiss him goodnight, knowin' it'd make me sick.

  I waited 'til everyone was in bed before I snuck up to her room. She was sound asleep and I hated to wake her, but I didn't want to miss her birthday, either. So I laid down beside her and stroked her hair and whispered her name.

  She rolled towards me and moaned softly, but didn't wake up.

  So I gently whispered in her ear, "Happy birthday, Malyn."

  She smiled and whispered back, "Beau…you're…here."

  I sighed as I replied, "For always."

  Chapter 17

  CHANGE

  Malyn

  When my alarm went off, I didn't want to get up. But since it was all the way on the other side of the room, I had to. Today was one of those days I just wanted to lay in bed. I thought I would've slept well, since I was worn out from my birthday party, but I didn't. I dreamt of Beau all night, which was nice, until I woke up and realized they were just that—dreams. They seemed so real, like he was right here with me…like I could hear him.

  I turned my alarm off and sat back down on my bed. I looked around my room, knowing Beau wasn't here, but hoping otherwise, nonetheless. As my eyes scanned my room, they fell on my present that he had given me. I decided it needed to be hung up, so I got my small handy-girl kit out of my drawer, took out a big nail and my pink hammer, and looked around, deciding the best place to hang it. I chose a spot near my bed so that I could see it as I came in my room, and from my bed.

  After hanging it and stepping back to make sure it was straight, I was startled by someone at my door. "What in the world are ya doin'," Grandmama asked. "I thought ya might be havin' some kinda conniption fit up here."

  "No, just hanging up Beau's present so nothing happens to it."

  She came in and wrapped her arm around my shoulder and smiled. "It's beautiful. But maybe that's ‘cause it's of you."

  "No, that's definitely not the case." I looked back at all the detail he put in it. "No, he's just good."

  She nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, he is." She patted my shoulder. "Breakfast is ready."

  I fell back on my bed and moaned. "Think it'd be bad if I called in sick?" I really wasn't in the mood to work.

  "Lyin' 'bout bein' sick will only make ya get sick," she said as she walked out. "Karma!"

  I forced myself to get up and get ready. At least I only had to work a five-hour shift today. Grandmama had made Max's favorite for breakfast again and we all sat at the table to eat it. "I hate that you're leaving today. I'm really gonna miss you." And I knew Grandmama was, too. "When will we see you again?"

  "Whenever ya need a Maxwell fix, just come on down. You two are welcome any time."

  "Isn't Savannah supposed to be like…really haunted?" I couldn't imagine what that would be like. I can see why Max liked it, though. I could see him now, pulling them in off the streets and befriending them, trying to help, or do some sort of new study with them.

  "Yes, it's rather populated with spirits. But mostly friendly, so you'd be fine," he replied.

  "Mostly?" I asked skeptically.

  "Have you not seen any spirits here? I've seen quite a few."

  "Yes, but I ignore them. If they realize what I can do, they always try to talk to me. And in public, that's not cool."

  "If that happens to you, make them follow ya somewhere so that no one can see. I had a lady follow me to the bathroom once," he said as he took a bite of food.

  Grandmama laughed and said, "I don't think that's a story she needs to hear."

  Maxed winked at her and said, "Maybe not."

  I just shook my head and smiled. "You two kill me."

  As we finished talking and eating, we said our sad goodbyes, which I was really sick of doing. But since Grandmama
would be taking him to the airport soon, I knew this would be the last time I would see him for a while. "I think we will take you up on that visit," I told him. "I'd really like to see Savannah."

  "You'd better," he said as he gave me one last hug. "And don't forget, your birthday presents should be here Monday or Tuesday."

  "Presents?" I asked, emphasizing the fact that it was plural.

  He proudly smiled and said, "Yes, presents."

  I thanked him and told him I'd talk to him soon and headed out the door so I wouldn't be late. When I saw my Jeep, I had to smile—I loved it. But then I realized this would be the first time I would be driving it on my own, which made me a bit nervous. After I got in and started it, I situated my stuff and turned the radio on so I didn't have to mess with it on the way down the road. As I looked back up, my heart stopped. It was Beau.

  I jumped out and ran around to the front of the Jeep, looking at the place where I know I just saw him standing, but there was no one there. Am I losing my mind? I knew I missed him, but hallucinating was just ridiculous. I turned around, mad at myself, and got back in the Jeep. First I dreamt about him all night, and now I was seeing mirages of him? I shook my head and turned my radio up as loud as I could stand it, looking back to the spot where I thought I saw him, but there was still no Beau standing there. I was so upset that I wanted to slam it in gear and peel out of the driveway, but I slowly backed up and putted away instead.

  If only I would've known how the rest of the day was gonna go, I would've definitely called in sick.

  * * *

  The morning went by fairly quick, since I got to work with Beth. We talked about her and Hunter, me and Jace, and about how Chad had talked to Jace about how hot I was, which I thought was interesting. Not for what Chad had said, but for what Jace's reaction was.

  "What did Chad he say?"

  "He just said you were hot and wanted to know if y'all had hooked up yet."

  "What did Jace say?"

  "He just smiled and didn't answer him." She looked at me and asked, "Have you?"

  "Would you really want to know if we had?" I didn't have a brother, but thought that if I did, his sex life would be the last thing I'd want to know about.

  She just laughed. "Well, you're my friend, and friends share that sorta thing. I just try to forget that it involves Jace."

  I could see where she was coming from, but it was still weird. "No, we haven't. We've only been together a few weeks. Why, have you and Hunter?"

  "Not really," she said with grin.

  "Have you ever?"

  "Not really," she replied again, and laughed. "I think it would make things too complicated."

  I was hoping she wouldn't ask me, but she did. I didn't want to lie, so I smiled and said, "Not really." I thought about how it would sound if I told her the actual truth and it made me laugh.

  "What's so funny?"

  I shook my head and said, "I just hope no one is eavesdropping on our intellectual conversation."

  About that time, someone came in. Beth's eyes got wide and she ran toward the door and tackled a tall, thin girl with a hug. "Tonya! What are you doin' here? I've missed you!"

  "I missed you, too! How have you been?"

  Beth finally let her go. "Great. Even better, now that you're here. It seems like forever since you were here last." They turned and walked toward me. "Oh, Tonya, this is my friend, Malyn. Malyn, this is a long-time family friend of ours, Tonya. They live in South Carolina." She turned back to her friend who seemed to be six foot tall. She had short, almost boyishly short, blonde hair, but it suited her, making her bright blue eyes stand out.

  "Nice to meet you, Malyn."

  "You, too," I lied. I didn't have a reason not to like her, but I usually could pick up vibes from people, auras, some people call it. Hers wasn't bad, but it did rub me the wrong way. Like when you end up being alone on an elevator with a strange man, knowing he probably won't hurt you, but still anxious for the doors to open.

  "So, how long are y'all gonna be stayin' with us?"

  Great, she was staying with them. With Jace.

  "I don't know. At least for a few days, I think."

  "I hope you stay all week. We've got a lot of catchin' up to do."

  "Yes, we do. Where's Jacey at?"

  Jacey?

  "He's in the bait shop. He'll be surprised to see you. Mom and Dad didn't tell us y'all were comin'."

  "We didn't know for sure until last night, so I guess they didn't want to disappoint you if we couldn't make it."

  She headed on out to the bait shop, and I wanted to follow her—see if Jacey hugged her like Beth did.

  Beth interrupted my thoughts. "You're really gonna like her. She's so much fun…and super smart. She got a scholarship to USC."

  "I'm sure I will," I lied again. "How old is she?"

  "Jace's age. They actually used to date, sorta." She grimaced at me when she said it as if I wouldn't like this bit of news. She was right, I didn't.

  "Really? She doesn't seem his type."

  "Why not?"

  "I don't know. I mean, if Jace likes me, look at me compared to her. We're nothing alike."

  "You’re both funny and smart," she said with a big grin. "You're a brick house, and she's a sky scraper, both appealing, but for different reasons."

  I had to laugh at her comparison. "If you say so." My mind went back to the fact that they used to date, and she would be staying with them. "So, where does this Tonya, ex-girlfriend of my boyfriend, sleep when they stay at your house," I asked with my eyebrows raised.

  "Don't worry; I'm sure they'll behave."

  I would hope so.

  * * *

  It was almost time for me to get off work when Jace came in with a big smile on his face. I really hoped it was because of me and not someone else. "Hey, beautiful," he said as he squeezed me.

  "Hey, yourself. You seem to be in an awfully good mood."

  "I am…now." He kissed me and went into the kitchen. Beth was cleaning up outside, so I seated a few more tables before he came back out. "I'm getting off with you."

  "You are?" I asked flirtatiously, raising one eyebrow.

  When he realized what he had said, he laughed and turned slightly red. "I mean, we're both getting off…" He dropped his head and smiled before saying, "Our shifts are about to end…at the same time. I don't have to work late."

  "Really? On a Saturday night? What brought this on?"

  "We're all having dinner here. I was hoping you could, too. It’s going to be with my family and some friends of ours. But it's not for a few hours, so I thought we'd do something."

  "Sure. What did you have in mind?"

  He had his arms wrapped around me when Tonya came walking in with Beth. She seemed surprised to see me and Jace together, but Jace kept his arms around me. "What do we have here?" she asked, looking at Jace with a crooked smile. Then she looked at Beth. "You didn't tell me Malyn was his girlfriend."

  "No, I didn't even think anything about it."

  Tonya looked back at me and Jace. "Hmph," she snorted, still smiling. "What do you all want to do until dinner?"

  "Me and Malyn are going out for a bit, so you and Beth can hang out at the house for a while."

  Disappointment crossed her face for a brief second before she smiled and said, "Okay, that sounds great." She looked at Beth and said, "Let's go swimming, shall we?"

  "Sure. I'll let Mom know we're leavin' and that we'll be back in time for dinner."

  "Tell her we are too," Jace told her as he grabbed my hand. "Ready to go?"

  "Yeah."

  We went to Tyler's house and hung out for a while. Then Chad and Hunter stopped by, which made me feel really weird, being here with all these guys; especially when Chad openly flirted with me in front of Jace. I never could understand why they were friends to begin with.

  They played basketball until they were all worn out and dripping with sweat. Jace came over to the picnic table I was sitting on and said,
"I guess we need to go. I'll have to take a shower before we meet back up with everybody."

  Of course Chad was listening. "Who's everybody?"

  "Remember Tonya? Her and her family is in for a few days."

  "Oh, really?" He looked at me, then back at Jace. "So, how's that workin' out for ya?"

  "How's what working out?"

  "You," he said and then nodded towards me, "her and Tonya."

  "I'm with Malyn. There's nothing to work out."

  Chad just kept smiling at us. "Maybe I should go, then. Talk it up with Tonya."

  "Whatever you need to do," Jace told him. "I thought Hunter was going anyway."

  "Hunter, are you going to dinner with them tonight?" Chad yelled.

  "Yeah, I think so. I ain't talked to Beth yet to see what time or anything."

  "What time are y'all going, Stone?"

  "Six. But you gotta pay for your own food. No mooching," Jace said as he got up and smacked his arm.

  "Stone, you offend me." Then he turned toward me and winked. "And I'll be seeing you later."

  Sadly so.

  * * *

  When we got to Jace's house, Beth and Tonya must've still been swimming because I didn't see them as we walked through the house. "Do you mind if I steal a shirt from Beth's room and just wait in your room until you're ready?"

  "As long as you steal a cute shirt and not one of her nerdy ones."

  "I'll do my best," I replied, thinking of how most of her shirts would look on me—tight.

  I went into Beth's room and found a cute, orange polo shirt and changed. Then I let my hair down, which ended up looking really good. Having it up all day made my layers curl under and flip out like I had rolled it. I sprayed it with a little with hairspray and headed for Jace's room before the girls came up. He was already in the shower, so I shut his bedroom door and laid down on his bed, curling up with his body pillow.

  The next thing I know, Jace is waking me up. "How 'bout I mark you as mine again?" He asked as he kissed on my neck.