For Always

Home > Young Adult > For Always > Page 19
For Always Page 19

by Janae Mitchell


  "What's so funny?"

  "You should've seen her face when she went to hit my window and actually made contact with it—pretty hard, I might add."

  "My pump worked a little on her, too," Beau added.

  I looked back at Grandmama questioningly. "So, are you gonna go with me to talk to them?"

  "And what are we gonna say, Malyn? How will talkin' to them help?"

  "I don't really know. But Beau said we would be back, so I think we should go back. Maybe they have family still alive and need to tell them where their will is, or the key to their safety deposit box, or where the gold is buried in the back yard."

  "Gold?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

  "You never know. But I think we should go and explain what's going on. Let them know there's hope, that they ain't stuck here forever." I looked toward Beau. "Right? If that was you in that cemetery, wouldn't you want us to let you know?"

  Beau just nodded.

  Grandmama took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, we can go tomorrow night if ya want. Maybe grab dinner and just hang out for a while . . . in the cemetery."

  "Sounds good." I was off until Friday, which I was thankful for. The longer I could put off seeing Jace, the better.

  "Well, kids, I'm off to bed. Make sure all the lights are off when ya turn in."

  "Goodnight, Grandmama. I love you."

  "Love you, too. G'night, Beau."

  "'Night, Nellie."

  Before she got to the top of the stairs we heard her say, "Y'all behave."

  Beau just grinned at me.

  "So, do you want to come up? Like old times?"

  "Maybe just for a little while. But I think I'll leave this down here." He took the EMF pump out and sat it on the table next to my purse. "It's harder for ya to attack me this way."

  I just smiled, which is what I did most of the time when I was around Beau. "Go on up. I'll be up in a minute."

  As he went on up the stairs, I grabbed my phone out of my purse, debating on whether or not to turn it on before I plugged it up to charge. I'll have to turn it on at some point, I guess. I was nervous to see if Jace had sent me a message back or not. I walked over and plugged my phone into the charger on the counter and it lit up. I had six messages and a voicemail, all from Jace except for a text from Beth, which told me to call Jace.

  I clicked on my inbox and started with the first text from Jace.

  Where u at?

  Then two minutes later:

  Y did u leave?

  "You should know why I left," I whispered to myself. I read the rest:

  I'm sorry if u thought I was mad. I ain't mad. Frustrated w/ myself, not mad at u. Plz call me.

  Malyn, I'm sorry.

  Malyn, Plz call me

  I luv u

  I turned the ringer off and started to go upstairs, but a flashing light reminded me I had a voicemail. I started not to listen to it, but was too curious. But after listening to it, I wished I hadn't.

  "Malyn," Jace said, and then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I know it probably looked like I was mad, but I'm not. I just needed to," he chuckled, "take a cold shower. I shouldn't have left you like that, I know. I was just frustrated, mainly with myself. I've just never felt like this about someone before. I don't know," he took another deep breath, "you're just so…But if you're not ready, you're not ready, and that's fine. I never…I just thought…Uugh, I hate leaving messages. Please call me when you get this. If it wasn't so late I would've just come on over, but I…Call me. I love you."

  I felt so torn. Reading his texts was bad enough, but hearing his voice and knowing that I misread the situation made me feel worse. I dropped my phone onto the counter and headed upstairs. I was so ready to go to sleep.

  After I got ready, brushed my teeth, and laid down, Beau raised up and looked at me. "What's wrong?"

  I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to tell the truth either. So I just laid there in silence.

  "Malyn? Ya alright?"

  I rolled over, planning on hugging him, but landed on my face instead, which made us both laugh. "I forgot." I fanned my hands around inside his chest. "I like you better solid."

  "I know ya do, which is why I ain't," he laughed. "It's easier when we can't—"

  "I know." Something had been on my mind, which I really didn't want to talk to him about, but I needed to, just so we were both clear. "Um, you know the night you left? Well, the night I thought you left?" I added sarcastically.

  "Yeah," he replied with a sly grin, "I remember it real well."

  I went to smack him, once again hitting my bed. "Dang it."

  "Sorry." He reached up and touched my cheek, which made me jump because my eyes were closed and I wasn't expecting it. "Sorry, again," he laughed.

  I just smiled and shook my head. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about that." I paused, but he never said anything, so I continued. "I thought I'd never see you again."

  "I know."

  "So, I may have…" This was turning out to be harder than I thought and I couldn't remember anything I had planned on saying, so I continued to mumble incomplete sentences, hoping he would understand. "If I'd have known…I wouldn't have…But at the time…And you…"

  "I know."

  "You know?" How could he know what I was saying when it didn't even make sense to me?

  "Yes. I know. Ya wouldn't have gave yourself to me if ya didn't think you'd never see me again. I'm sorry 'bout that, Malyn."

  My heart sank at the thought of his regret. "You're sorry?"

  "Just ‘cause your first time should be on your wedding night, with your husband…special. And I took that from ya. I'm sorry."

  "I don't regret it. I'd do it again," I said before I could catch myself. "I mean, that night…not again, like, right now."

  "I know," he laughed. He seemed to be getting a kick out of my awkwardness.

  "I just don't want you thinking bad about me. Or think that since we did it already that it's only natural that we do it again. Or that if we make-out or whatever that it'll automatically lead to that." This was the worse conversation I had ever had in my entire life. "I just don't want to be a tease or lead you on or anything like that. If it happens again, it happens, but if it doesn't, I don't want you to be mad or think bad about me or anything."

  "Why would I think bad 'bout ya? Or be mad at ya?" Then he sat up and leaned over me. "Did that little sap hurt you? Did he do somethin' to ya, Malyn?"

  "No, no he didn't do anything. Things were just going a little further than I wanted and when I told him to stop, he just got up and left me laying there. I thought he was mad, so I left."

  "When did this happen?"

  "Today."

  He rolled onto his back and put his arms under his head. "Oh," was all he said.

  "But I thought you were gone, or—"

  "No, that's fine," he interrupted. "I mean, it hurts to think about ya with him, but there's nothin' I can do 'bout the past. Now, if it was to happen again. . ." He didn't finish, but he didn't have to. "Like I said before, I can't share ya Malyn," he said, still looking toward my ceiling. "If we're gonna be together, it's just gonna be us, no sap meddlin' where he don't need to be meddlin'." He was quiet for a minute before he rolled over and looked at me. "I want ya all to myself. So if ya still have feelin's for him, maybe we should wait and see what happens."

  "No. I'd rather be with you."

  "But do ya still have feelin's for him, too? I understand if ya do. I've pushed ya toward him for a while, so it's partly my fault. And then lettin' ya think I was gone for good. I don't blame ya, Malyn. And I'll wait. As long as I'm here, and you'll take me, I'll wait. I just can't share ya. The thought of ya bein' with him…I can't handle that."

  I didn't want to lie. "He sent me several messages and left me a voicemail. I checked them before I came up."

  He was still propped on his elbow looking at me. "Voicemail?"

  "A message on my phone. I just wanted you to know. He was apologizing for what
had happened."

  "And?"

  "And I can let you listen to it if you want to. I'm not gonna hide anything from you, Beau. This much I can promise you. However, working with him, and being best friends with his sister, makes completely avoiding him next to impossible."

  He sighed. "I just don't want your hand in his . . . his lips on yours . . . your mind on him." He grabbed my hand and pulled it to his chest. "And most of all, I don't want him to have your heart."

  "He doesn't." I sighed, forcing myself to be truthful. "Not all of it, anyway."

  "Ya can't live with a split heart, Malyn," he whispered in my ear.

  "I know. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Let him know it's over." Which is gonna be yet another one of the worst conversations of my entire life.

  "That choice is up to you. I'll still be here no matter what your decision is."

  "I choose you. Always you."

  Chapter 19

  TAKERS

  Malyn

  When I woke up the next morning I just wanted to cover my head and go back to sleep. You'd think that after spending the evening, and most of the night, with Beau that I'd be on cloud nine. And I would be, if I didn't have another boyfriend to deal with. Today was the day I was going to have to break Jace's heart. Beau had made it clear that our relationship had changed and that he was no longer going to share me with Jace, and I couldn't blame him. There's no way I'd share him, either, or even Jace, for that matter.

  As I got downstairs, I found Beau scarfing down Grandmama's French toast.

  "I thought he might like to actually eat somethin'. And since this is your favorite, I thought he might like it, too."

  I looked at Beau and asked, "Do you think it's wise to eat all that?"

  He looked at me with a mouth full of food and shrugged. When he finally swallowed he said, "Guess we'll find out. The Mountain Dew did okay last night, so I thought it'd be alright."

  "Yeah, but a sip or two of Mountain Dew ain't like eating three slices of French toast." I saw my phone that was lying on the counter light up.

  "That's probably Jace. He's called all mornin'," Grandmama said. "Ya need to call that boy back, Malyn."

  I sighed. "Yeah, I know." Beau was still eating, acting like he didn't even hear us. Then my phone lit up again so I went ahead and turned the ringer on. I had another text from Jace. "Maybe I should go ahead and call him." I unplugged my phone and headed out onto the back porch. It took me a few minutes to dial his number, and my stomach turned when I finally did.

  "Malyn, I'm so glad you called. I'm sorry about yesterday. I wasn't mad at you. But I'm sure that's how it looked when I got up. I'm sorry, I just didn't think."

  "It's okay." We weren't going to be together anymore, so it didn't matter anyway.

  "You're not mad?"

  "No, but I do need to talk to you."

  He was quiet for a few seconds. "Okay. Do you want me to come over or do you want to meet me here?"

  "Me and Grandmama were going to come to town and eat supper, so I'll just meet you at the marina. We should be there around six or so."

  "Okay." He was quiet again. "Malyn?"

  "Yeah?"

  "I love you. And I hope you know that I'd never intentionally hurt you."

  "I know."

  More silence. "Are you okay? Sure you're not mad? Because you seem like you are."

  "No, Jace, I'm not mad. Really. I understand why you got frustrated. But we can talk about it later."

  "Okay. I'll look for y'all around six then."

  I told him that sounded good, that we'd see him then, and quickly hung up the phone before he could tell me he loved me again. I knew if he said it that I would have to say it back, which I don't need to be doing right before I break up with him. I collapsed into the swing, wondering how I was going to break up with someone that I still had feelings for just so I could be with someone else.

  I heard someone open the door and opened my eyes to see Grandmama coming out. "Malyn, honey, I can feel your stress all the way in the house. What's goin' on?" She sat down next to me and started to swing.

  "Oh, Grandmama," I sighed. "I'm gonna break up with Jace today."

  "Why? Jace is such a good boy. And so is his family."

  She wasn't making me feel better. "I know." I was afraid to admit this next part to her, not sure how she would take it. "I want to be with Beau. I can't have two boyfriends, even if one is dead." Just hearing myself say that sounded ridiculous. "Am I crazy?"

  "Yes," she said as she started to laugh, which made me relax a little.

  I smacked her leg. "No, really. Am I making the wrong decision?"

  "Only your heart knows that, Malyn."

  "Well, my heart wants Beau, but my mind keeps telling me I should be with Jace. How can I have a boyfriend that's dead?"

  "I know I've always told ya that your ability to see beyond what everyone else can see is a gift, but just remember, not all gifts are good ones. Some get returned, or regifted to some unlucky person, or just put up in the top of the closet and forgotten. But your gift is unreturnable, and ya can't give it away, or forget ya have it. It's caused you a lot of misery, but it's also given you opportunities that ya wouldn't have had otherwise. Take meetin' Beau, for instance. What are the odds that of all the houses, I pick the one that happens to be haunted by one very handsome young man that falls head over heels for ya?"

  I just shook my head, thinking how I had thought about that myself.

  "I believe that everything happens for a reason. And I know when I first realized that you and Beau were gettin' close that I didn't like it. But since then, things have changed. He may have lost his shell, but his spirit is as alive as ever. And those things Max sent almost make it seem like he's alive again. It's crazy." She shook her head. "I ain’t ever seen nothin' like it."

  "I know. It was so weird to actually be out with him last night; like we were on a real date."

  "Well, it's up to you now. Do ya want someone who is alive, has a job, good family; someone that ya can live a normal life with? Or do ya want someone who's only a ghost of his former self, has no job, no family, nobody but us, who you'll never have a normal life with, but who ya love unconditionally?"

  I just shook my head. I was so torn, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.

  "Follow your heart, Malyn. As long as ya do that, ya shouldn't have any regrets, no matter what the outcome is."

  "Thanks, Grandmama."

  She just smiled, patted my leg, and went back inside, leaving me swinging with my thoughts.

  * * *

  I decided Beau and I needed to get away for the afternoon, so I planned to take him to Pigeon Forge. Being such a big tourist town, I couldn't wait to see his reaction to everything.

  "So, do people dress like this where we’re goin’?" he asked as he tugged at his clothes.

  I laughed. "No, but we can stop at an outlet on the way. I'll grab an outfit for you to change into, and then we can go shopping. I can't wait to see what you pick out. What size should I get him?" I asked Grandmama, who was messing with her plants.

  She brushed her hands off and walked over to the hammock, lifted up Beau's foot, and pressed it to the bottom of her shoe. "I'm guessin' a size twelve shoe." She dropped his foot and had him stand up. "Probably a 30-32 in pants, medium shirt, unless they run small, then I’d get a large. I'll give you my card so you'll have enough money."

  Beau stood up, catching me off guard and almost flipping me to the ground. "Nellie, I hate usin' your money."

  "Well, ya don't have any, there's no one else to give ya any, and I have plenty, so why not spend it." She put her arm around his waist and squeezed him. "And I'm sick of seein' ya in these old clothes, walkin' 'round barefoot everywhere." She poked his stomach and walked back toward her plants. "And don't worry, there's plenty that ya can do to help out 'round here and pay me back."

  "Yes, ma'am. Just let me know what ya need done, and I'll be happy to tend to it for ya." He walked over to her and said
in a low voice, which I had to strain to hear, "Nellie, I really do appreciate the kindness you've shown me."

  I couldn't see her face or hear what she said back to him, but it made him smile. I carefully climbed out of the hammock and walked over to them. "Let's go so we get back in time for dinner."

  "After you," he said as he walked over and opened the door for me.

  "I'll let you know when we're on our way back. If you don't hear from me by five, call and remind me to come home."

  "Only you would forget to come home," she teased me.

  "Love you!" I yelled back to her as I walked into the house. I threw my phone in my purse and grabbed my keys. "Let's roll." Beau laughed. "What?"

  "Nothin'. I just get a kick outta some of the stuff ya say. Sometimes I have no clue what you're sayin' at all."

  "Really? I know you say things sometimes that sound old fashioned, but I've never thought about what I say." I started the Jeep and he put his hand on mine, keeping me from putting it in reverse. Then he reached over, grabbed my chin, turning it towards him, and kissed me. "What was that for?"

  "I've wanted to do that all day." He kissed me again, then let go of my hand. "Okay, let's roll," he said, grinning at me.

  "That sounded pretty good."

  "I'm tryin'."

  We talked all the way into town, and then Beau got quiet, watching all the cars and looking at all the stores and buildings. He just kept shaking his head. There was a lot of traffic, which I'm sure looked like madness to him. Not to mention the theaters and attractions scattered up and down both sides of the road. We came upon an outlet store that I thought I could find him something in, so I pulled in.

  "I'll run in here and get you some pants, a shirt, and some shoes. I'll be right back."

  He was looking at the upside down house next door. “I’ll be right here.”

  I quickly grabbed a blue shirt, which I knew would really look good with his eyes, some carpenter jeans, socks, and some sneakers. I paid, headed back to the Jeep, handed him the bag, and pulled around to the back side of the parking lot so he could change.

 

‹ Prev