"Finish your dinner now," he instructed, scooting back to his plate. "We still have to give you a bath and read some more of your book before bedtime."
~ * ~
Stiff and sore, Dominique wandered through the door of her apartment a few minutes after midnight. Instantly, she was met with an eerie silence that blanketed the apartment. The lights in the kitchen and living room had been left on and revealed spotless areas. Her eyes widened. The place had been a wreck when she’d left at three-thirty. Now the apartment was clean and clutter-free.
"I see you’ve cleaned my house once again," she said to thin air.
It hadn’t been in his job description, but Joshua had turned out to be more of a full-fledged nanny than just a simple babysitter. Although it irritated her to know there was a man in her house who seemed to be taking over tasks she would prefer to do herself, such as the cleaning and cooking of healthy meals for Kalvin, she secretly confessed that she found cooking and cleaning to be seductive traits in a man.
So where was her sexy, seductive nanny? Strolling through the apartment, she saw no sight of him. Her pulse began to race so fast she could feel it in her temples, pounding behind her eyes. Where was he? Had something happened? Completely unnerved, she stomped to Kalvin’s room and jerked open the door. There, lying together on the bed, was Kalvin sleeping soundly with Joshua at his side.
A warming smile rose to Dominique’s face. She folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself tightly as she gazed at the sleeping figures. They looked so peaceful, so cute together, almost as if they were father and son. She hated to disturb them, and almost didn’t. She knew Joshua didn’t have any classes the next morning. Yet, allowing him to sleep the night at her apartment, even if it was in Kalvin’s bed, wasn’t a good idea.
Her steps much softer now, she eased across the room and gently shook Joshua’s arm, whispering, "Joshua, Joshua, wake up. I’m home."
Slowly, Joshua stirred from his deep sleep. His eyes fluttered open.
Dominique’s stomach executed a summersault when he gazed at her through the darkness with those tantalizing, sleepy eyes. Clearing her throat, she smiled and repeated, "I’m home." Strolling around to the other side of the bed, she gently planted a kiss on Kalvin’s cheek and pulled the comforter up to his chin.
Dominique tiptoed out of the room with Joshua in tow, then softly closed the door.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep," Joshua said. His mouth opened in a huge yawn and he quickly raised a hand to cover it.
"It’s no problem," Dominique assured him, stiffly making her way to the kitchen. "I see the two of you must have had a good time at the playground."
A smile unfolded across Joshua’s thin lips. "Yeah, I think he enjoyed himself." Then his statement turned serious as he observed Dominique gathering the items for her nightly sandwich. "Are you all right? You’re moving as if you’re hurting or something."
"Friday nights are always busy at the bar, but tonight was the worst," Dominique said, retrieving the mayonnaise from the refrigerator. "I hope I get use to this soon. My feet are killing me!"
Briskly, Joshua took a few long strides and stopped next to her by the counter. "Sit down. I’ll make your sandwich for you."
Dominique hesitated and started to argue, but Joshua angled his head toward her, glaring at her with an statement that left no room for disagreement. He pointed to the table, ordering her to sit. She reluctantly obeyed.
"I don’t want to keep you. I’m sure you’re ready to get home." Her thoughts, however, didn’t agree with her words. A tingling sensation flowed throughout her body at the thought of him sticking around for a while. They hadn’t spent any time together other than the few minutes before and after work each day, when he was either coming or going. Still, he had been on her mind constantly. She often found herself wishing she were home with him and Kalvin instead of at work dealing with all the drunk men and obnoxious women.
Just watching him moving about in her kitchen making her a sandwich sent her mind reeling with improper fantasies. She could picture herself walking over to wrap her arms around his muscular shoulders. The feel of his body in her hands would send her hormones into explosions. Then he would turn to her, embrace her tenderly, pull her closer, and...
"I hope you like chicken," Joshua said, ripping Dominique from her reverie. "We had a couple of pieces left over at dinner and I thought it would make a good sandwich for you when got home."
"Chicken is fine." She nodded quickly. She squirmed in the chair in an attempt to banish the hot, wet feeling that had pooled in her middle as a result of her fantasy.
"Your chicken sandwich, madam," Joshua said, imitating the voice of a professional servant. He stood straight and placed his hands behind his back. "What would you like to drink with that?"
"Umm…" Dominique said thoughtfully. She kicked off her shoes and began massaging her aching feet. "There’s a bottle of white wine in the fridge. A glass of that sounds like an absolute dream right now."
Nodding obediently, Joshua spun on his heel and proceeded to pour her wine. "Do you mind if I have a glass, too?"
"No, not at all," Dominique said quickly, secretly delighted that he would be staying around at least long enough to have a glass of wine. "Help yourself. Believe it or not, even though I work in a bar I don’t drink that often. I do like a glass of wine on the weekends, though. Especially after nights like tonight. I can see this quickly becoming a weekend ritual."
"There’s nothing wrong with a glass or two here and there." Joshua returned to the table, placing the glasses on the table as he sat down beside Dominique. She hadn’t touched her sandwich. She was too busy massaging her feet. "Here, let me do that, and you eat," he ordered.
He slowly slid his hands down her freshly shaven leg in a light, caressing touch, until his fingers wrapped around her slim ankle in a gentle, tight grasp. Pausing for a short moment, he brushed his thumb delicately over her anklebone before he pulled her right foot into his lap.
Dominique’s breath picked up pace. A fervent vibration rippled up her spine from the feel of his strong, wide hands caressing her foot firmly but tenderly from the tips of her toes to the hardness of her ankle. His sensual touch brought goosebumps to her skin, driving her insides wild with anticipation, leaving her longing for more, just as she had expected it would.
As his hands worked their way toward her heel and around her ankle, she let her imagination run wild. In her reverie, his hands didn’t stop at her ankles, but slowly glided up her leg, and all the while his upper body moved closer to hers. Closer…and closer…and closer…until…
"If you don’t mind my asking, what kind of plans do you and Kalvin have for tomorrow?"
Joshua had, once again, busted through her fantasyland, ripping her away just when her imagination was getting to the good parts! Heaving an exasperated sigh while at the same time suppressing a moan that had built deep in her throat, Dominique picked up the chicken sandwich and took a huge bite. "I really hadn’t decided on anything," she said around the food. "Why?"
"Tomorrow is my youngest brother’s birthday. He’ll be six. I know there will be lots of other children there and I thought Kalvin might enjoy himself as well." He carefully lowered her right foot, then picked up her left in the same manner as he had the first.
Dominique took a long gulp of wine. Concentrating on the question at hand instantly proved impossible when Joshua’s fingers continued to awaken pleasures she had thought were long ago put to permanent rest. It had been eons since a man had touched her without sex in mind. Oh why, when it finally happened again, did it have to be Joshua Divine?
"Ooo…" She hesitated, silently taming her raging hormones. "I don’t know. I’m sure Kalvin would have a great time, but I don’t know that I would be comfortable around a bunch of adults I don’t know."
A puzzled statement flashed across Joshua face. "Aren’t you around a bunch of adults you don’t know every night at work?"
"Well…yeah, but that’s different. That’s work, not a family gathering."
"But you know me," Joshua objected. "And you do feel comfortable around me…don’t you?" He stopped massaging her foot to toss her a sexy glance.
The look, the emotions, that Dominique thought she saw in his eyes--so intense, so breathtakingly serious--made her insides melt. If only she could truly read those eyes. She hadn’t wanted to feel comfortable with him. From the moment she had heard his voice on the other end of the line when he called to apply for the job, she had been telling herself it wasn’t right, pleading with herself not to get too close. Now, with the way that look made her feel, she knew she was powerless to stop her growing attraction.
But how could she admit all of this to Joshua? She couldn’t. She just couldn’t. He was simply her child’s babysitter and nothing more. Sometimes the way he looked at her led her to believe he felt an attraction to her, too. Then she would mention something about the bar and see him grimace. Even if he did possess the same growing feelings for her, it would never work.
Avoiding a direct answer, she finally said, "I’ll think about us coming to the party."
"Great! And I hope you decide to show up. The party will be at my parents’ house at eleven. They live in Pine Brook Estates. It’s the third house on the left."
"I know where that is." Nice neighborhood, she added silently. She’d been under the impression he lived closer than that. "I’m not making any promises that Kalvin and I will be there, but I’ll think about it."
His massage complete, Joshua leaned back in the chair and dragged a finger lightly over the rim of his wineglass. Dominique’s leg stayed resting in his lap. "There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about," he said slowly, staring into the glass.
Dominique angled her head toward him. Something in the tone of his voice caused an alarm bell to go off in her head. "Is something wrong?"
Joshua propped his elbows on the table. He sighed loudly, staring down at his hands that he had folded together in front of him. "Kalvin put me on the spot at dinner tonight."
Dominique straightened in her chair. Her leg fell from his lap.
"He wanted to know why his father doesn’t want him," Joshua continued. Slowly, he lifted his gaze until it locked with hers.
"Oh, God," Dominique whispered. Tears instantly dampened her eyes. "I was beginning to think he had forgotten him. It’s been so long since he’s mentioned him. I divorced the son-of-a-bitch so I could give myself and my child a better, happier life, and all I succeeded in doing was hurting Kalvin."
Joshua scooted closer to her and placed a hand on her shoulder just as he had done with Kalvin earlier that evening. Reaching up, he tenderly wiped away a tear that trickled down her cheek. "You are not the one hurting Kalvin. His father has done that. Do you think things would be any different if you had continued to live in a marriage you were undoubtedly unhappy in?"
"I--I don’t know. I kept telling myself it was best to leave. That it would be the best thing for both of us. I just couldn’t stay with him any longer." Dominique stood and began pacing the kitchen floor. "I don’t even know why I married him in the first place. He was so abusive."
When she saw Joshua’s eyes widen to the size of compact discs, she stopped and turned to face him. "Not physically abusive. Mentally abusive. But that, I often thought that was so much worse. Even then, he never lifted a finger to be with his son. He hated the fact that I was pregnant, even though he was the one who said he wanted a child. He cheated on me, left me by myself all the time, and when he was around all he could talk about was how worthless I was, how I would never amount to anything, even what a terrible mother I was!"
Pacing again, she shoved her hands in the pocket of her blue jean shorts. "I met him just after I graduated from high school. At first he was really nice. Then the possessiveness started. I don’t know why I stayed with him then, but I did. My father kept telling me he wasn’t right for me, but I wouldn’t listen. A few months later I found out I was pregnant, and we were married immediately. Call me stupid, I guess."
"No, young and lonely would be more my guess," Joshua countered, sipping his wine as he listened attentively.
"The year I spent married to that man was the worst year of my life," Dominique murmured. As she spoke, she released her hair from the binding scrunchie that held it high on her head, allowing her hair to fall down her back. "Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. We got into a fight one night, I saw a door open in my mind and I flew through it. I took Kalvin, I left and I never looked back."
"Is that when you came here?"
"No, we moved in with my father. We were living in Louisiana at the time." She ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it. "We stayed with my father for a while and then moved into an empty trailer he owned. We didn’t move here until two years ago."
Joshua tilted his head at her. "This may be off the subject, but what made you come to Mississippi?"
Dominique returned to her chair at the table. "When I left my ex, I had no money and no job. I hadn’t gone to college the way I had planned because he had forbidden me to go. The only job I could get was waiting tables. I made pretty good money, but it wasn’t enough to pay all the bills, so what I couldn’t afford, my father picked up.
"At that time I had such a low self-esteem, I had gotten to the point that I just didn’t care about anything. Worse, I had convinced myself that I needed a man in my life to be happy. I needed a man who would tell me how beautiful and wonderful I was, instead of constantly putting me down."
Her gaze dropped to her lap as the tears brimmed her lids once again. "Working as a waitress, I was asked out a lot. Sometimes I would turn them down, but most of the time I accepted. I started dating this one guy who loved to hang out at this bar. Turned out that he was exactly like my ex-husband. But while I was at that bar one night, the manager offered me a job. He taught me how to tend bar and make nearly every drink imaginable. I found I was making so much more money bartending than waiting tables that I quit my other job."
Joshua raised a hand to interrupt. "If you don’t mind my asking, where was Kalvin though all of this?"
Dominique squeezed her eyes shut. Her face grew hot with embarrassment. "At my parents’ house, probably wishing his mother would spend more time with him." Her voice cracked. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I was heading down a bad road but was too stupid to realize it. Even though I was making good money by that time, I was spending it like it grew on a tree, and yet I had nothing to show for it. My father was paying most of my bills and taking care of Kalvin. Nearly everything you see here," she said, indicating the furnishing around them with a flourish of her arm, "my father paid for. I didn’t realize what I was doing to Kalvin, as well as myself, until I heard him call my mom Mommy one-day. It broke my heart! He was spending so much time with my parents that he was starting to see them as his instead!"
"So you picked up and moved to Mississippi to get Kalvin away from your parents?" Joshua asked, a bit confused.
"Not exactly." Dominique shook her head. "When I heard Kalvin call my mom Mommy it opened my eyes. I was twenty-four years old and, although I was no longer living with my parents, I was living off of them. I was born in Mississippi so I knew the area, and I still have some family here. I decided the right thing to do was to get out from under my father’s wings and learn to stand on my own.
"Of course that didn’t make my father too happy, and he’s no longer speaking to me, but Kalvin and I are doing better on our own. It’s hard, and we’ve been through some really rough spells, but we’re making it. And now that I’m making more money, I’m sure things are only going to get better. Still, the best part of it all is that I know whatever Kalvin and I have, it’s because I got it for us. I worked hard for it. Not that it was given to me because someone felt obligated to give it to us or felt sorry for us."
"Then it sounds to me like you’ve made the right decision." Joshua’s lips arched up in a comfo
rting smile.
"Yeah," Dominique snarled. "I just wish my father would see things that way." The overflowing river of tears came again. "I tried to explain everything to him--my reasons for leaving the state, the fact that I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet--but he wouldn’t listen. He got so angry! And, in turn, I’ve felt so guilty for acting as cold-hearted as I did, but no matter how much I explained, I just couldn’t make him understand. Finally I decided the only thing I could do was follow through with my decision and prove to him that I can make it on my own. Unfortunately, even now that I’ve proved myself, he’s still not speaking to me. My mom calls now and then to check on us, but my father…" Her voice trailed off, breaking from the tears.
Joshua slid an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to rest her head on his chest. "You’re father is just finding it hard to let his little girl go. Parents like for their children to be dependent on them. You’ve showed your independence. You’ve showed him how grown up you are, and he just can’t seem to accept that. I’m sure he will come around. Just give him some time."
He ran his hand down the back of her head, smoothing her hair. She could feel his chest rise and fall in ragged breaths. It was as if their closeness was doing something to him, something he was fighting to control. She knew she should probably pull away, but it felt so good to have a pair of strong, caring arms wrapped around her that she couldn’t bring herself to move. She didn’t know why she was opening up to him the way she was. He had merely asked about Kalvin’s father, and she had told him about everything that had happened in her life for the past five or six years.
"Thank you," Dominique sniffled, lifting her head to look Joshua in the eyes. "I had no idea I had all of that built inside me, but it felt so good to get it out."
The Devine Babysitter Page 6