I scoffed. “Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you believe your lies, but I don’t. We moved because he threatened to cut you off if we didn’t. He bought the house you live in. You’ve never worked. The second he gave you and Daddy the Quarry, you closed it to avoid any responsibility. You sent me to those schools to change me. Fix me and turn me into a younger version of you.”
“You’re a spoiled brat. Disrespectful, unruly and disobedient to the core.” Her collarbones protruded as she inhaled sharply. “I see the best education money can buy hasn’t refined you in any meaningful way.”
“Guess not.” I planted my hands on my hips and exhaled. “I don’t want to fight. We don’t agree on the funeral arrangements and I’m clearly not helping. Before we both say something we can’t take back, it’s best if we part ways.”
She adjusted the purse strap on her slender shoulder. “Fine. I’ll look after the rest of the arrangements and you tend to the estate and paperwork. The sooner we can sit with the lawyer, the better. Get his house ready for sale. I can’t set foot inside that place without crying. Pack it up. Once the will is read, we’ll unload that monstrosity.”
“You can’t sell it,” I whined.
“Yes. I can.”
Rage bubbled and stirred in my gut. What I wanted mattered little to her. “I hope you change your mind. My best memories are in that house.”
“If you like it so much, stay there until we sell it.”
“Good idea.” I’m not sure why I hadn’t gone there in the first place. “I’ll be there if you need me.”
The lakefront three-bedroom log cabin was half the size of my parent’s ostentatious Tudor-style house, but I loved it. They lived on the same street but miles apart. The distance would do us some good. My mother wasn’t a bad person. She loved me in her own way, but she had wanted a princess. An outgoing, social butterfly like her, but got a smart-mouthed nerd instead. We had nothing in common and the gap grew larger with every passing year. I was equally to blame for our failed relationship.
“Do as you wish. You always do.”
“Mom…”
She turned and grabbed the door handle. “Gemma, all I ask is for you not to embarrass me while you’re here.”
Without waiting for a response, she disappeared inside the funeral chapel. I didn’t make it more than a block away before the tears leaked like a broken faucet. Knowing I would never meet her standards and being told I was a disappointment had a way of eroding any confidence I’d built. My hand shook as I pulled out my phone. The person I wanted to call was dead. I needed to hear his voice, telling me I wasn’t bad. I needed my grandfather.
“Why did you have to die?”
The tears blurred my vision as I walked faster. The stupid heels I’d worn to make her happy clacked on the chipped sidewalk, matching the beat of my heart. I clutched my cellphone in my hand and yelped when it beeped with an incoming text. I swiped the screen, expecting to see something from my mother. My pulse raced when I noticed it was from Blake.
“Come see me.”
Three words evoked a wave of relief and nervous anticipation. He wanted to see me. I loved that he didn’t ask. A silly smile spread across my face.
“Demanding. What if I’m too busy?”
“Make time.”
I laughed at his reply and wiped the moisture from my cheeks. The left side hurt. The funeral chapel wasn’t far from his shop. Rather than text, I called.
“Hello Gemma.” His rough voice instantly made my core clench.
“Hi. I’m actually around the corner from your shop. Do you want to have an early lunch together?”
I’m not sure what possessed me to ask him out again, but I didn’t want to be alone. After the fight with my mother, I expected to be depressed for the rest of the day. Seeing his name on the display had already changed that.
“Are you asking me out on another date?”
“No. You don’t date,” I countered. “But I’d like to see you.”
“So we can finish what we started?” he repeated the words from my text to him. His tone was low and seductive, but I couldn’t tell if he was interested or mocking me.
“The text was a mistake. I didn’t mean to send those words. My finger… never mind. Are you interested in lunch or not?”
“Where are you?”
“Across the street. Why?”
“Running around with you yesterday, set me back. I can’t leave today.”
“Sorry,” I said as I raced across the street.
It was impossible to hide the disappointment from my tone. Blake had a job. People depended on him. I chewed my lip, wondering which direction I should head.
“Don’t be sorry. It was my choice to help you.”
“Right. I understand you’re busy. You’ve got a life and I’m intruding. I’ve got lots to do too, but I—”
“Gemma, I can’t leave and sit down for a long lunch, but I want to see you. We could eat in the office. It’s not romantic—”
“Deal. I don’t need romance.” I just needed him.
“You deserve to be romanced,” he huffed.
A long pause followed. My heart skipped a beat as I neared the red brick building. The noise on the line got louder as if he’d left the office and walked through the shop.
“I’m here, but I could stop and grab food?”
“Meet me in the back. I’ve got more than enough to fill you.”
I coughed. He probably hadn’t meant those words in a sexual way, but I knew he had more than enough. Heat spread between my thighs.
“I remember,” I joked.
He growled, sending a shiver down my spine. “Glad you haven’t forgotten.”
As soon as I rounded the side of the building, I saw him leaning against the back door. His eyes were closed, and his head was tilted towards the sky. He had one hand in his hair and the other holding the phone to his ear. My legs wobbled as I closed the distance.
“We can hang-up now,” I said before disconnecting the call and shoving the device in the front pocket of my shorts.
He’d trimmed his beard, leaving only a thin layer of stubble over his chin. Seeing the scar on his lip made me smile. It was his one and only imperfection, but not really a flaw at all. At least, not in my eyes.
“Hi.” I waved and stopped directly in front of him.
“Hi,” he repeated. His lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. He reached towards me and gripped my chin. “Why are your eyes puffy and your cheek red?”
“Bad morning.”
“Did someone hit you?” He looked over my shoulder before meeting my eyes.
“The words did far more damage than the slap.”
“I’ll kill them. Tell me who,” he barked.
I covered his hand. “I’m fine. Please don’t kill anyone. It was nothing more than a heated moment.”
“Tell me who.”
“No. It won’t change anything. I already told you I’m fine. Leave it.”
“Gemma, it’s not fine. No one has the right to hurt you.” His tone softened. “Babe, I’m not okay with you being someone’s punching bag.”
The term of endearment erased the horrible start to my day and all the sleepless hours. A jolt of joyful energy flowed through my veins. I licked my lips, cupped his cheeks and lifted onto the tips of my toes.
“Kiss me.”
His mouth covered mine. Tentative and soft. Nothing like the previous night. He kissed me like he was afraid he’d break me. I was already broken. The gentleness brought tears to my eyes. As our tongues caressed, the water flowed from my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I sobbed.
He wrapped his big strong arms around me. “Tell me what’s going on. I can’t help if you keep me in the dark.”
With my head against his chest, I sniffled and hugged him tighter. “He’s gone, Blake. I can’t handle them without him. They are insane. I’m all alone.”
“Fuck! I knew it. Which one hit you?”
“Stop. You
’re missing the point.”
“You are not alone. I’m here.” His fingers trailed up and down my spine. “Your folks are pretentious assholes.”
“Understatement of the century,” I scoffed. “They want me to hook up with some rich soulless executive and become an equally soulless housewife. I graduated a few months ago and I’m still unemployed.”
“You don’t need to work.”
“But I want to,” I countered. “I applied for a job and they actually called the owner of the company and told him not to hire me. Totally messed up. They sent me to school to meet rich men. Not to get an education.”
His body stiffened. “I’m not sure I want to hear about you with other men. In fact, the thought of you in anyone else’s arms makes me want to hit things.”
“I felt the same way when I heard about you and Kirstin. You moved on pretty fast for someone who claimed to love me.”
“Gemma…”
“We don’t need to talk about it.” I let him go and removed my glasses. The heat from the day and my waterworks had covered the lenses with steam. I used the bottom of my shirt to clean them before putting them back on. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve kind of lost my appetite. I think I should go.”
Despite the hot sunshine beaming against my skin, I shivered. The chill was deep in my bones. He leaned back and grabbed my arms as his eyes locked with mine. The intricate shades of blue held me captive.
“I made a mistake. When you left me, I was fucking broken. You took my heart with you. I… hated that you were gone. Hated even more that you wouldn’t respond to my emails or calls.”
“You could have come with me.” I placed my hand over his heart. It thundered wildly. “There was no reason to prolong the pain through calls and emails. I wasn’t allowed to talk to you. We were done”
“Not for me,” he said.
“I planned to come back that first Christmas, but…” I shrugged my shoulders and dropped my hand.
“Kirstin just happened. Our friendship switched one night, and I let it go too far. She deserved better and I’ll forever regret that I hurt her.”
My heart constricted as he talked about his second love. The woman he spent years dating. They hadn’t hidden their relationship. She was able to walk around holding his hand. My guts twisted. I felt nauseous.
“Did you love her?”
It was a stupid question. One I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t want to hear he had those feelings for someone else. The first time he’d said those three words, he’d promised to love me forever. The day he gave me his heart, I felt invincible.
His eyes closed. “No. Gemma, it was impossible to give pieces of a heart I no longer possessed. I have loved no one but you. I wasn’t lying when I said you fucking broke me!”
The pain in his voice sliced through me, tearing open old wounds. So many years had passed, yet it seemed like yesterday. I had never loved anyone but him. Each attempt to move on had failed.
“You fucking broke me too!”
The back door opened with a squeal. Owen walked out with a bag of trash in his hands. I stepped away from Blake and cursed under my breath.
Owen’s eyes bounced between us as he tossed the bag into the bin. “Lovers quarrel?”
“No. We aren’t… anything,” I replied. I wasn’t even sure why I ended up there.
Blake yanked the door open and pointed inside. “Get lost cousin or so help me…”
“Relax. I’m not the enemy.” He glared at me as he stomped past.
“But I am,” I mumbled. “I shouldn’t have come here. It was a mistake. I need to go.”
As the door closed behind Owen, Blake grabbed my hand. His lips caressed my knuckles, making my heart ache.
“Stay.”
I was too raw. My chest felt like it had been physically ripped open. Each breath hurt. I didn’t want to hurt Blake. My body trembled.
“Sorry for distracting you. I can’t.”
He kissed my hand again. “Stay with me. You need someone. Let me be your person.”
His offer tempted me more than I dared admit, but he deserved more. More than a week-long fling. The last time he was mine, our relationship had been a secret. I didn’t want that again.
“I’m a mess,” I whispered.
“You’re beautiful.”
“You are being too kind. I don’t want you to see me like this.”
He yanked me against his chest and hugged me. I didn’t pull away. I needed him. The steady beat of his heart was soothing. Blake made me feel safe and cherished.
In high school, I’d cried on his shoulder more than once. Those tears always dried quickly when he kissed me. I knew being with him would cause problems, but I couldn’t stay away. He was worth the risk. He was still worth it.
“I see you, Gemma Newbury. You’re still the most beautiful girl… woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
His lips covered mine. This time he didn’t hold back. Neither did I.
I left five minutes later with a smile on my face and a promise to see him again. I never dreamed I’d get a second chance with Blake, but I wanted one. A few kisses couldn’t erase the damage we’d done to each other, but each one made me feel stronger and a little less broken.
Chapter Seven
Blake
Chasing a woman that would inevitably hurt me was the stupidest move I could make, but I had to try. After she left, I was on edge and snapping at everyone. Poor Janet took the brunt of my bullshit. The day had dragged on. It was close to midnight, but I had to see her. Gemma needed me whether she admitted it or not. Seeing her cry destroyed me. If she were mine, she’d never be alone.
When I looked in the mirror, I had that same stupid expression Dean wore when he talked about Arielle. The steam from the shower couldn’t hide the truth. I was a love-struck idiot. I wanted to kick my own ass for being so fucking dumb.
“Wipe that smile off your face. Gemma isn’t yours.”
But she could be. She should be.
Every time I saw her seemed to steer me towards that inevitable conclusion. We belonged together. For whatever reason, we fit. I had to convince her to move back to Lakeside and be mine. Not just for a week or two. Forever.
This might be our chance to live the life we had dreamed about as teens. We’d planned to get a place on the lake and fill it with kids. Maybe that’s why after she left, the thought of having a family of my own seemed revolting. When Kirstin had brought up having my baby, I’d ended things. I couldn’t picture anyone other than Gemma as the mother of my kids.
I dismissed those thoughts, finished dressing and grabbed my phone. Instead of sending her a text to check in, I called. The phone rang three times before her generic voicemail told me to leave a message. I ended the call and redialed. She answered on the second ring.
“Hello,” her groggy voice made me feel like crap for waking her.
“Tell me where you are?”
“Blake?”
“Do you have other men calling you after midnight?”
“No. It’s late. I’m in bed.”
A vision of her naked body sprawled across the bed made me smile. The first time we’d made love wasn’t in a bed. We’d been too eager to even get fully undressed. Gemma never asked for my heart. I’m pretty sure I’d scared the shit out of her when I promised I’d love her forever. The scariest part was how much I’d meant those words. The years hadn’t diminished my feelings.
“I’m coming over.” I locked the back door of the shop and jumped on my motorcycle.
“You’re what?”
Her voice seemed more alert. I was glad to have her attention. My intention hadn’t been to wake her, but I couldn’t leave things unsettled for another night.
“I’ll be at your parent’s place shortly.”
“Don’t go to my parents. I’m staying at my grandfathers.”
“Even better.” I hung up, turned the key in the ignition, and my bike roared to life.
Each minute that passe
d made me wonder what the hell I was doing, messing around with a woman that had the power to crush me. A few interactions, and already I couldn’t imagine not hearing her sweet voice or seeing her beautiful face again.
She opened the door wearing a long t-shirt and nothing else. Her bare legs made my mouth water. A better man would have brought candles and flowers. I grabbed the back of her head and kissed her. Walking her backwards, she released the door. It closed behind us with a pronounced click. The small foyer was empty. There was no one to interrupt us.
One kiss and I was drunk on her sweet flavor. I needed more, and I took it. Messing her hair with my hands, I feasted on her mouth. A hint of bourbon slid across my taste buds.
“Are you drunk?”
“No. Not anymore. Blake… what are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here?”
“You told me you didn’t want to be alone. I listened. I would have come sooner, but I just finished work.”
“That was extremely thoughtful, but we… we can’t do this.”
Her nipples puckered visibly through her light pink top. She was saying what she’d been programmed to say, but her body told me the truth. She wanted me. I ran the back of my hand along her cheek. The mark was gone, but her breath hitched. My eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched.
“Easy way or the hard way. You decide.” I removed my jacket and tossed it on the hand carved, wooden banister.
“There is no easy way,” she whispered.
I had a hunch she’d choose the hard way. Good thing I remembered everything about her. Gemma was stubborn and rebellious, but she liked pleasing people. That’s why it bothered her so much to let her parents down. Those assholes didn’t appreciate the precious treasure they had, but it worked in my favor.
“You still owe me.”
Her lip slipped between her teeth. She ran her fingers through her long black mane, trying to detangle the mess I’d made. She looked so fucking sexy.
“I do. Now isn’t—”
“Tell me to leave or lock the door.”
“What?”
“I’m not playing games. I know exactly what you need.”
“What’s that.”
“Me. So, go lock the damn door and stop fighting this.”
Rough Spark: Big Flirt Series Book Two Page 6