Falling Away

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Falling Away Page 29

by Penelope Douglas


  “It’s the weekend,” he pointed out, thinking. “Jason might not be able to do shit until Monday.”

  His mother’s new husband—and Madoc’s father, Jason Caruthers—should be able to get us a restraining order quickly. But it being Friday night, he might not be able to reach a judge.

  “All right,” he blurted out, looking as though he’d just come to a decision. “Let’s just go. Tate and Fallon were planning a camping trip for next week. Let’s just go now until we can get the restraining order in place.”

  He dug his phone out of his jeans, continuing. “Let the girls sleep. I’ll call Madoc to warn him to start getting the gear together first thing in the morning, and you and I will go for provisions. We’ll head to the falls and stay off the radar for a few days.”

  I thought about it, knowing a long weekend was doable. I could get caught up on e-mails and other business tonight, and Ciaran hadn’t sent me any new work, so it should be fine.

  “It’s a plan,” I agreed. “We’ll hit the store at eight.”

  I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm.

  “You should’ve told me,” he repeated, worry clear in his eyes.

  I knew he wasn’t trying to get on my case. Despite our bickering, my brother wanted to be there for me, and I knew he didn’t appreciate me keeping him in the dark.

  I gave him a thoughtful nod, understanding his concern.

  I cleared my throat. “And you should tell Tate,” I advised.

  “Tell her what?”

  “That you hate ROTC,” I replied. “That you have absolutely no idea what you want to do with your life, and that you’re suffocating.”

  His back straightened, and he looked angry. But I knew I was speaking the truth. On the occasions I was in Chicago and saw him with his classmates, he looked out of sorts. Completely uncomfortable and out of place. He wasn’t in his element, and from certain things he’d said, I knew he wished he was home instead.

  He turned to leave, and it was me grabbing his arm this time. “She’d want you to be happy,” I pressed.

  “She’s going to medical school, Jax,” he said as if I were an idiot. “I love her, okay? It’s the only thing I do know for sure.”

  And I watched as he climbed the steps and disappeared back into her house.

  Okay, so she was going to medical school. So what? Did he think he had to do something profound or more respectable with his life? To be good enough for her?

  Tate wasn’t like that, and she had never encouraged him to join the military in the first place. Her father had, but even Mr. Brandt would support a full-grown man going after the life he really wanted. What was Jared thinking?

  I traipsed back over to my yard and into the house, running through the whole downstairs and double-checking locks.

  Heading upstairs, I was about to go for the office but went for the bedroom instead. Juliet was sleeping soundly again, and I caught sight of the tattoo on the back of her neck.

  Crawling in behind her, I threw my arm over her waist and kissed the tattoo.

  Only Ever You.

  We hadn’t talked about it, and I didn’t know if she wanted to, but I knew those words were mine. She might have thought them up and spoken them, but they were for me and no one else.

  I nuzzled into her neck, remembering how I would nuzzle into Jared’s shirt when we were kids.

  I wasn’t holding on to Juliet. I was hanging on to her. For dear life.

  “Jax?” Her low voice was sleepy.

  I moved my nose out of her hair. “Yeah?”

  “My freshman year of college, did you replace my music appreciation teacher’s playlist of baroque composers with 2 Live Crew’s ‘Me So Horny’?”

  My body shook silently as I laughed my ass off.

  Oh, shit. I chuckled. I’d forgotten all about that.

  “You’re laughing,” she accused. “You did do it.”

  Yep, I did it, I thought, smiling to myself.

  “That’s just so wrong,” she replied playfully.

  I squeezed her tight, smiling into her hair, my father momentarily forgotten. “You’re welcome.”

  CHAPTER 23

  JULIET

  “Jax! Now!”

  We both jerked our heads to the door, hearing Jared’s bellow from downstairs.

  Jax smiled, gave me one last peck on the lips, and hopped off the bed.

  His hair was still wet from the shower he took while I was asleep, and he already had jeans on, but he was only half-dressed.

  When he’d stepped back into the room this morning, saying he and Jared were leaving to get supplies, and we were all going camping, we got sidetracked. Again.

  Jared had been honking his horn for five minutes.

  Digging into one of his clothing bags—I assumed from the shopping trip with Madoc yesterday—he grabbed a black T-shirt and slipped it on.

  “Be ready when I get back, okay?” He grabbed his phone, keys, and wallet, shoving them in his pockets. “Pack a bikini and some of my T-shirts to wear. You don’t need anything else.”

  Smiling, I sat up, covering myself with the sheet. “I’ll be ready.”

  I knew he wanted to get out of here soon, and I was glad he’d confided in me. I didn’t know how concerned to be about his father or whether or not he was a genuine threat, but I trusted Jax’s and Jared’s instincts to keep a safe distance until they were prepared.

  And hey, if it meant sharing a tent with Jax for three days, then I was cool with that. Tutoring was on a one-week hiatus for the Fourth of July next week, and I wasn’t starting my theater job until after that was completed mid-July.

  He dived back down for a quick kiss and then headed for the door. “And don’t comb your hair,” he ordered, looking back at me and winking.

  I saluted, watching him leave.

  Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I kept the sheet wrapped around me and rotated my ankles and feet back to life. I’d practically been fucked into the mattress, although I vaguely remembered going into his office last night, riding him in his chair, and then returning to bed as if I’d just gotten up to get a drink of water.

  The bedroom door swung open, and I looked up to see Fallon pulling to a sudden halt and peering down at me wide-eyed.

  “Oh, wow,” she said.

  I bowed my head, groaning. I didn’t even want to know what I looked like.

  I heard a second set of footsteps and glanced up to see Tate.

  “Well,” she drawled out, grinning. “You’re a mess. Sorry to barge in”—she stepped into the room—“but there’s no time to lose.”

  I nodded, tightening the sheet. “Sorry for the delay. Jax … um,” I mumbled. “Energy. Lots of energy.”

  Fallon stayed in the doorway while Tate sat down beside me. “I … I’ll … um …” Fallon stumbled over her words. “I’ll go back over to your place and run her a bath.”

  She walked out, and Tate called after her as she started to rub circles on my back.

  “My soothing salts are under the sink!” she shouted.

  I shrugged her hand off, letting out a nervous laugh. “It’s not my first time, Tate. Stop fussing.”

  She dropped her hand to her lap, speaking sternly. “You ever done it so many times in one night before?” she asked, looking around the floor, probably referring to the condom wrappers.

  I stared at my feet, smiling to myself and shaking my head.

  She continued. “And if Jax is anything like his brother, then I’m sure he’s no gentleman in the bedroom.”

  I bit my lip, trying not to laugh and look as though I was losing my mind. I was mortified, delirious, and happy all at the same time, and I probably looked as if I’d been attacked by an animal. But definitely not by a gentleman.

  Shelburne Falls wasn’t actually in Shelburne Falls. The town was named after the three roaring rapids that all merged into a single river that fed our small city. Even though the actual falls were a good distance away, no town was closer than
ours.

  After about forty-five minutes of plain highway driving with a barely noticeable incline, the lush green grasslands of the Midwest gave way to denser forest and narrower roads. All leading up to Blackhawk Lake—also known as Party Cove—and the three Shelburne waterfalls.

  I’d rarely ever been up there. My mother wasn’t an outdoor person, and by the time I was old enough to fish or hike, my father was in and out of hospitals. The only times I’d ventured here were once with Tate and her dad, and another time for a party.

  Madoc led the way in his silver GTO, Jared and Tate followed in Jared’s Boss, and Jax and I trailed in his Mustang. I’d texted Shane, telling her I’d be back in a few days and would see her before she left for college, but I didn’t bother letting my mother know anything. She hadn’t even attempted contact.

  Jax tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to Starset’s “My Demons” while I attempted journaling through his The Fast and the Furious driving.

  “What do you write in there?” He peered over at me, shoving his thick biceps in my face as he tried to snatch the notebook.

  “Stop.” I laughed, twisting away. “It’s nothing about you. I promise.”

  “It better be about me,” he teased, feigning insult and going back to driving.

  I smirked. “I can’t put you into words. It’s impossible.”

  When he didn’t say anything, I looked up to see him smiling to himself.

  Yeah. There was no way to put him into words yet. Every time I thought of him, all I wanted to shout was “I love you!” Every time I opened my mouth to speak to him, all I wanted to say was “I love you!”

  So not very coherent at this point. What the hell is love anyway? Did I love him already? Should I love him already?

  Or was it just attraction? I mean, he looked like a demigod. I wanted to touch him and crawl on top of him at every opportunity. His smell, his personality, his body, everything intoxicated me.

  But that wasn’t love. I was smart enough to know that. So why did I always want to say it?

  “Thanks for the watch.” I spoke up, trying to get my mind off the subject of love. I looked down, rubbing my thumb over the white Samsung Gear fitted to my wrist. He’d picked it up while he and Jared were out getting supplies, but it wasn’t just a watch. It was a phone, a camera, and a pedometer, and I could do almost anything with it that I could do with my phone.

  “You haven’t GPS’d me, have you?” I teased.

  “Maybe.” He smiled. “No, it’s simply a phone you’ll always have on you, if you need it. It’s safe.”

  I noticed he hadn’t gotten one for himself, though. He worried about me too much, and I wished he wouldn’t.

  For the next ten minutes, I wrote a whole page of my name, Juliet Adrian Carter, over and over again in my journal.

  For years, I’d been writing and signing my sister’s name, even though Juliet had always stayed my legal name. School, doctors’ offices, and such treated K.C. as a nickname, so I’d signed Juliet on official occasions, but rarely for anything else. I needed to get used to using it full-time again.

  We pulled off the main road, taking a short trip through a dense brush to a clearing right on the banks of the lake. Tate had booked the campgrounds for next week, but we got lucky and got in early. There were other campers, and I could hear boat engines, squealing girls, and music already, hence the name “Party Cove.”

  Although the beach ahead looked rocky, nothing was more beautiful. The panoramic view of evergreens surrounding the midnight blue lake, disturbed only by the havoc of Jet Skis and a few kayaks, was the epitome of summer fun. Fresh air, clear skies, and the laughter and music signaling good, clean fun. I couldn’t wait.

  I just had no idea what to do first. Dive into the lake or get lost in the woods.

  After we’d parked in the lot, we hauled our gear to the campground surrounding the beach and started setting up. The other campers in the area, about ten or so, already had a party going, and I caught sight of an old wooden rowboat completely filled with ice, soda, and an assortment of beers.

  Even though it was early, the partying had commenced. I didn’t worry, though. Madoc would have a ball, but Fallon would rein him in. Jared had stopped overindulging in high school, so Tate would be relaxed, and they’d enjoy their time together. I got drunk once in my life, wasted an entire day on a hangover, and vowed never to do it again.

  And Jax? I’d heard about a time or two that Madoc got him loaded, but I’d never seen it, and now I think I knew why.

  Jax hated any dependencies. He didn’t smoke, do drugs, and I’d rarely ever seen him drink alcohol. Probably because of his father.

  Maybe the shit he went through had served a purpose after all. It helped shaped the man he became. Survival, not suffering.

  “Tent’s almost ready.” He came behind me and helped lift the air mattress I was hauling from the car. Tate, Fallon, and I had inflated the mattresses using the vacuum that attached to a car’s cigarette lighter. Easy peasy.

  I felt a hand on my tush and glanced around, nearly stumbling over a log, to see Jax reaching out, pawing me through my short black shorts.

  “How’d you like it if I felt you up in public?” I teased. I heard him laugh.

  “You’re lucky I’m not yanking that bikini string loose. Red is my favorite color on you,” he teased.

  “Well, don’t get too excited, mister,” I advised, pulling down the visor on my baseball hat. “I want to hike to the falls after we’re down here.”

  “Your ass is vibrating.” He changed the subject as he picked my cell phone out of my back pocket.

  “Hey,” I scolded, dropping the mattress next to the tent and turning around. “Phone, please.”

  I held out my hand, smirking and tapping my foot, but I stopped when I saw Jax scowling at the screen.

  “Why is Liam calling you?” he asked as the phone stopped vibrating in his hand.

  I dropped my hand and narrowed my gaze thoughtfully. “I don’t know.”

  He held on to the phone, straightening his back and looking down at me. “How often does he call?”

  I took a deep breath, not liking his tone. “Why don’t you check my call log to see for yourself, Jax?”

  Dropping my gaze, I put my hands on my hips and waited. I had no idea why Liam was calling. It was the first time, and if he’d left a message, I had no interest in hearing it.

  But Jax wasn’t inquiring. He was interrogating, and he had no reason not to trust me.

  He handed me my phone. “I don’t want to invade your privacy.”

  “Too late,” I mumbled, bending down to pick up the mattress again.

  But he hooked my arm with his, bringing me back up. “Hey,” he soothed. “I’m sorry. I trust you, okay?” He tipped my chin up. “Other guys shouldn’t be calling my girl, though. What would you do if Cameron or another past hookup was calling me?”

  I pursed my lips to hide the smile, but he still saw it.

  “Oh, that’s funny?” he joked.

  “No.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “You called me your girl.” I nodded, waggling my eyebrows. “And,” I continued, “you’d better believe this little wallflower will cut a bitch with that knife of yours if anyone lays a hand on you.” I darted out, catching one of his nipple rings in my teeth and sucking.

  He gasped in surprise and then chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. “I never would’ve thought.”

  “What?” I played, holding the barbell between my teeth.

  “I don’t like aggressive women.” His voice was low and thoughtful. “I never have. I’m sure you know why.”

  I stopped and tilted my head back, looking up at him. Yeah. I knew why. And I could understand it.

  “But you?” He ran his finger over my cheek. “It’s different. I like it when you’re nice, but I love it when you’re rough.” He leaned down to whisper in my ear, sending shivers down my spine, “So, just a warning … if you bite my nipple piercings one
more time, the thin walls of the tent will do nothing to drown out how hard I’m fucking you.”

  And then he backed away, everything in his eyes telling me that his threat for today was a promise tonight.

  “I don’t think we’re going the right way,” Madoc whined as we wound our way through the forest, traveling steadily uphill.

  “We’re following a trail, Einstein,” Jared called back. “I’m not carving this baby out for the first time. Relax.”

  The intimate hike I’d been hoping for consisting of just Jax and me didn’t happen. Instead of a quiet jaunt into the woods and maybe a sexy swim in one of the pools at the bottom of the falls, we were a group six strong with Jared in the lead, followed by Tate, Fallon, Madoc—because he wanted to stare at his wife’s butt—and then Jax and me.

  “Well, Jax should be leading,” Madoc called out. “His people have skills. Like bear whispering and understanding messages in the wind and shit.”

  “Nah,” Jax joked. “But I can weave a damn nice basket.”

  Everyone chuckled, but I simply smiled. I was feeling more and more a part of the group as time wore on, but they’d all spent loads of time together, and I was still trying to find my place.

  And—looking up—I smiled, liking my place so far.

  Jax was wearing long black cargo shorts, hiking shoes, and a dark gray backpack on his naked back. I looked much the same, except I had my red bikini top with my black shorts and backpack. My white baseball cap was pulled over my hair, which I’d stupidly left down, and I was sweating already.

  We needed a swim. The temperature at this elevation wasn’t stifling, but the exertion certainly helped toward making it unbearable.

  “Well, I’m getting tired,” Madoc carried on. “I was told we were doing water sports. On the beach. Beer and Jet Skis. That’s my thing.”

  “Fallon, take care of your baby,” Tate called back. “He needs a breast to suck on.”

  “Madoc, stop whining,” Fallon scolded. “We haven’t even gotten to the switchbacks yet. You think this is tough?”

  “What the hell is a switchback?” Madoc shot out. “It sounds like a snake.”

 

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