by Karen Kirst
She smiled and shook her head. “I had no plan. For one thing, I didn’t want to think too highly of myself, or to think I was better than I am.” She cooed over at the little boy and Molly, who were still playing games together.
He groaned. “That’s probably the last thing in the world you would ever do, Sid.”
She rolled her eyes and moved on. “Moreover, I felt that my own wardrobe was sufficient. After all, I wanted all the attention to go to Jane. If I dressed myself up like a doll, then I could give the appearance that I was trying to compete for male attention.”
He stifled a grin. Sid was always so formal, so proper. She didn’t seem to be able to bring herself to say simple things like, “I could have been competition for Jane.” She wouldn’t allow herself to even come near to portraying herself as desirable. Over time, he would see to it that she would come to know and respect that she was the most attractive woman he had ever met.
“Well, that’s neither here nor there, for Jane is no longer making her London debut.” He patted his hands together and Molly came running. The little boy, startled at losing a playmate, began to cry.
Sid ran over and scooped him up, cuddling him close. He snuggled into to her, resting his head on her shoulder. Sid had a natural knack with children, just as she did with almost anything else. The sight of her holding the little boy was utterly delightful. The mistress of Grant Park was standing before him. She would help him create a family, and she would be beside him on every journey from now on. The certainty of it, after weeks of insecurity, both humbled and enchanted him.
“Why isn’t she? Did she finally convince you otherwise?” Sid began to walk down the garden path, giving the little one a rhythmic pat on the back as they strolled.
“You could say that, yes.” He followed, with Molly close on his heels. “The truth is, Jane came to Tansley with me. I must convince Timothy Holdcroft to ask for my sister’s hand in marriage.”
She spun around to face him, yet her movements were so contained that her nephew never stirred. “She is going to marry Timothy?”
“If I can persuade him, even after the way I treated him at Grant Park, then yes.” He stooped down and grasped a stick from the garden path. With a quick flick of his wrist, he sent it flying for Molly to catch.
“I don’t think you treated him poorly, or at least offended him to the point that he won’t marry Jane,” she said, sending him a radiant smile. “None of us were behaving very well that day, anyway. I think it’s marvelous. Timothy is a good fellow, and his family is aristocratic stock. Besides, he makes Jane happy. So, Jane’s London clothes will be used as her trousseau. Well, I should have created more practical day dresses. Some of those gowns will get ruined after just one day of farm life.”
As they rounded the corner of the garden path, Jane came running from the house. She waved at them both, and as she drew near, she smiled. “Is the proposal done, then? Has Hannah accepted?”
John fought back an unreasonable wave of annoyance with his little sister. “And if she hadn’t, wouldn’t you feel awful right now? Suppose I hadn’t asked her yet?”
“Oh, I could tell by your posture that you two were close,” Jane rushed on, oblivious to his irritation. She waved one hand at him, and then gave her full attention to Sid. “Hannah, darling, I owe you a thousand apologies. I should never have used you to further my communications with Timothy. I know it was wrong. I was thinking only of myself, and I didn’t give any thought to the fact that I was deceiving you.”
“You were in love,” Sid remarked. “It can blind us all.”
“You forgive me?”
“Of course I do.” Sid shifted the child, who had now fallen asleep, and embraced Jane with her free hand. “Not only do I forgive you, but I love you as I do my own sisters.”
“And now we will be sisters in truth.” Jane returned the embrace. “Who is this little one? He’s adorable, isn’t he?”
“My nephew, Charlie. I should put him inside, in his crib.” Sid directed her steps toward the house. “I suppose that seeing Timothy will be a large part of this afternoon?”
John whistled, and Molly came running. “Yes, and as my betrothed and as future mistress of Grant Park, I should very much like for you to come along, if you will.” John flicked a glance at Jane, who smiled back at him. “I have to humble myself quite a bit, and I need you to prop me up.”
“I shall come with you gladly,” Sid replied, mounting the steps.
“While you put Charlie in bed, I shall put Molly in the barn and then go see Daniel, if I may.” A little nervous trickle worked its way down his spine. Daniel knew of his dissolute past and had, in fact, indulged in it himself once or twice. As a reformed man, would he like John enough for his sister? Well, there was nothing to do but brazen it out.
Sid had taught him to be brave, that much was certain.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
After Charlie had been safely deposited in his room with a nursemaid, Hannah followed John and Jane downstairs to Daniel’s study. Even though John held her close to him as they walked, trepidation still seized her. If only she could marry John and be done, without the clamor of a ceremony. While she was skilled at helping others prepare for the big events in their lives, she had no liking for formal procedures, such as a wedding.
Her heart leaped as John knocked on Daniel’s study door. “Enter,” Daniel called.
John ushered Jane and Hannah through the doors, closing them tightly after the trio walked in.
“John! Upon my word, man, it does me good to see you again.” Daniel walked around his desk and clasped John’s hand in his. “Miss Jane? Nan? This is quite a delegation, I must say. What’s amiss?”
“Nothing at all. In fact, on the contrary, all is well with the world.” John sent Hannah a gaze that caused her cheeks to warm unexpectedly. “May the ladies sit down?”
“Of course, of course. We don’t stand on ceremony here at Goodwin Hall, John. You know that.” Daniel beckoned the two women over to a pair of chairs by the hearth.
The windows had been opened and the lace curtains fluttered with the late spring breeze. Hannah closed her eyes and raised her chin toward the gentle puffs of air, allowing it to cool her face. Oh, do hurry and be done with it, she thought, trying to maintain a semblance of composure. If he delayed much longer, she would have to leap from her chair and announce the news herself, just to end the tension.
“Daniel, I have come to ask you for Hannah’s hand in marriage, as you are the head of their family.” John came to stand beside her, resting his hands protectively on her shoulders.
“Hannah?” Daniel looked at them quizzically. “Who is Hannah?”
“I am.” She raised her hand, weakly. “I don’t suppose you ever knew Nan was my nickname.”
Daniel laughed. “No, I had no inkling of it. But it makes sense, after all, Rebecca is known as Becky.” Daniel looked over at John. “As far as I am concerned, my good man, you may have Nan’s hand in marriage. However, my consent has no real weight. We all know that the true head of their family is Susannah. Shall I fetch her?”
“No, don’t.” Hannah rose, patting John’s hand. “I’ll go and see her myself, if I may.” She cast a tremulous smile at her beloved and then fled the room. In all likelihood, Susannah was up in her suite, readying herself to go out and see the tenants, as she always did in the afternoons.
She burst through Susannah’s door, not bothering to knock.
“I want to marry John,” she blurted.
Susannah, who was having her abundant auburn hair dressed by a maid, looked up in startled surprise in the mirror. “I say, this is interesting news. Very well. Does he know?”
The maid went on calmly placing hairpins in Susannah’s coiffure.
“Yes.” Hannah twisted her hands together to still their trembling. “He asked me.”
“Thank you, Tess. I can manage from here.” Susannah put her hand up to her head as the maid bobbed a curtsy and left. Then
Susannah half turned from the dressing table. “Help me, Nan?” she queried.
“Of course.” Hannah had dressed both of her sisters’ hair for years, before they married and left home. It would be a good distraction for her hands. She took hold of one lock of hair and began twisting it and pinning it into place. The familiarity of being with her sister in such a comfortable fashion put her mind at ease. All would be well.
“John Reed is a good man, and Grant Park is quite grand, from what I hear,” Susannah murmured as Hannah worked on her locks. “It sounds an excellent match to me. If you love him, that is.”
“I do. I fought against my affection for him for a while, because, well, I’m just Nan,” she replied, reaching for another hairpin. “I wasn’t sure if a man like John Reed could love me.”
“What nonsense. Of course he could, and he does.” Susannah snapped open a glove box and began selecting a pair as Hannah finished her job. “You were born to be mistress of a fine home like Grant Park. My worry is whether or not you love him, and not the other way around.”
“I assumed I would become a maiden aunt, taking care of Charlie and any other children you have,” Hannah admitted, standing back to look at her handiwork. “I never thought marriage would be for me.”
Susannah’s gray-green eyes softened, and she shook her head. “Nan, I know that you took the position of the practical and prosaic one in our family, and as such, perhaps you felt relegated to a certain role. In truth, you have all the makings of a lady as fine as Mrs. Reed herself. Your organizational skills will help keep Grant Park running smoothly. Your honesty will keep everyone around you in check. Moreover, you have lovely eyes and a lithe figure. Your artistic talents show you to be refined, and you dress well. John Reed recognizes this. I applaud his good sense.”
This shower of praise was completely uncharacteristic for Susannah, who usually tempered any kind remark with some caustic comment so that her sisters would not become overly proud. Hannah waited, poised for the inevitable “But…” Yet nothing came. Susannah rose, tugged on her gloves, and gave Hannah a swift peck on the cheek. “You have my blessing, if you desire it.”
“I do,” Hannah blurted, tears springing to her eyes. “I just don’t know what to say. I never expected any of this. I thought you would be angry.”
“I was upset when you gave the shop away, it’s true,” Susannah admitted. She opened her wardrobe and selected a wool shawl, draping it around her shoulders. “I was furious, in fact. I talked to Daniel about it—the poor man, I gave him quite an earful—but then I realized, I was forcing you to hang on to a relic of our past. I was so proud of that little place, and when it was no longer mine, and then it was gone, I didn’t know what to do. Then I realized, I have Daniel and I have Charlie. I have the tenants and the servants. I have you and I have Becky. My life is different now, and it is full and happy. There’s no need to cling to the past. The shop served us well, and now it will help Lillian Bellamy.”
“Not just the shop. I just thought—well, I don’t know what to think.” To her horror, the tears began streaming down her cheeks. She had never cried before Susannah in her entire life, but she could not check the sudden flood. “I had grown so used to the idea that I would be a spinster, that I was this unlikeable person. I can’t believe all this is for me.”
“Oh, Nan.” Susannah folded her into a warm, orange blossom scented embrace. “Go on. Get married. Have children. You deserve all of this, and more.”
At that, Hannah began to sob in earnest, as Sue held her tightly. As the flood ebbed, Susannah handed her a linen handkerchief. “Are you going to be all right?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Hannah sniffed, searching for a dry spot on the scrap of fabric. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Nerves,” Susannah pronounced decisively. “It happens to the best of us when romance is in the offing. Now, as to the wedding. Shall we have it here, in the chapel?”
“Yes. That would be lovely.” She blew her nose. “I am sorry about all of this. I suppose I’ve made you late to work with the tenants.”
“Not at all.” Susannah drew herself up and smiled. “This was more important. You are important, Nan. Never forget that. Now, before I leave, I want to speak to your betrothed. I suppose he is downstairs, talking to Daniel?”
“Yes.” Hannah threaded her arm through her sister’s as they left the room. “He asked Daniel for my hand.”
“I do hope Daniel gave his consent,” Susannah said with a laugh.
“Daniel gave his consent but admitted that it meant little. He then referred John to you as the true head of our family.” Hannah bunched her skirts in one hand as they descended the stairs.
Susannah nodded. “Quite right. Daniel is a wise man. It seems he grows wiser every day.”
As they rounded the corner of the hallway, Hannah caught sight of John through the open door of Daniel’s study. He was speaking politely to Daniel, but his posture was tense. He must be as nervous as she. She broke free of her sister and bustled over to his side. “She gave her consent.” Hannah gave him an encouraging smile. “We may set a wedding date.”
There was a general melee of embraces and kisses and congratulations as Hannah, John, Jane, Susannah and Daniel gathered together. As she received and returned the warm wishes happily, she still struggled against the feeling of disbelief. How could all this be? Why would it happen to someone like her?
After being released from Susannah’s hold, John turned to her. “I imagine the wedding is already being planned,” he said with a wink.
“Only down to the location,” she replied. “That’s as far as we’ve gotten.”
“I hate to speak out of turn,” Jane spoke up. “But now that we’ve secured your happiness, brother, could we attempt to heal my fractured relationship?”
John nodded. “Yes. You’ve been very patient for an enamored little sister. Come.” He beckoned first to Jane, and then to Hannah. “You too, Sid. I trust you to help me handle this in such a manner that I don’t appear to be a complete idiot.”
Hannah laughed and accepted the elbow he offered her. “By all means.”
As she left the Hall on the arm of her future husband, accompanying him to set things right with the man his sister loved, a feeling of peace cloaked her. She was loved by her own family, and loved and needed by another. It was too much to fathom after years of feeling useless and unwanted, and it would take a long time to fully comprehend. She glanced at her future husband’s handsome profile as the carriage turned out of the Park and on the well-traveled road to the Holdcrofts’ farm. She had the rest of her life to consider the matter fully.
*
Now was the time to ask forgiveness, and yet it did not seem an insurmountable task. In times past, he would have ignored this issue altogether—or any other unpleasant issue, for that matter—and taken himself off to London for a month to indulge himself in a raucous whirlwind of delight. Now, he faced the problem squarely. He had been wrong to deny Jane her true love, and wrong to assume anything about Timothy Holdcroft’s character. The elopement seemed as distasteful to Timothy as it was to John. However, having fallen in love himself, John could see how a man might act out of desperation, if it meant winning his heart’s desire.
He paced the parlor floor, the boards squeaking in protest as he moved. Mrs. Holdcroft’s maid, likely the only one the family employed, had bade him to wait in the small room until she could fetch Timothy from the fields. Hannah and Jane waited for him out in the carriage. There were some things a man needed to start alone, and in this case, it was essential that he meet his future brother-in-law in a fashion befitting the head of his family. The tension emanating from the carriage was palpable. At any moment, Jane was likely to burst in and throw herself headlong at Timothy.
The parlor door opened and Holdcroft walked in. His attire made it obvious that he had been working outdoors, and that John’s visit had interrupted vital, life-giving work. It would be best to come straight to t
he point.
“Holdcroft, I was wrong to come between you and my sister. I apologize. Moreover, if you still wish to marry her, I give you my blessing.”
Holdcroft took a step backward, shaking his head. “I cannot believe this. I must have gotten too hot while I was working. Surely you are a figment of my imagination.”
“No, indeed.” John slapped Holdcroft on the back. “You see? All real.”
Holdcroft massaged his shoulder where John had struck him. “You do feel real.” He paused, eyeing John carefully. “Why this sudden change of heart? Has Jane’s reputation been ruined? I am willing to tell everyone I know that nothing happened between us during the elopement. I don’t want you to force a marriage for all the wrong reasons.”
John smiled, relief flowing through him. He had been fairly certain that Holdcroft was a good choice, but his reaction now proved beyond all doubt that he had Jane’s happiness in mind. That was what mattered most. This fellow would spend the rest of his days living for Jane. “I suddenly discovered for myself what is best in a marriage,” he admitted. “Money, status, one’s place in society—none of that matters without love. I believe you love my sister. Therefore, I can no longer object to the match.”
Holdcroft closed his eyes for a moment. “Thank you,” he said, simply. Then after a moment’s pause, he continued. “I believe Hannah Siddons must have changed your mind.”
John stared at him. “How—how do you know?”
“I don’t know. I suppose I just noticed something about her, and about your interactions together,” Holdcroft replied. “When she and I left Grant Park for Tansley, we were as miserable as two human beings could be. The kind of sadness I perceived in Miss Siddons matched my own. It was not the kind of desolation she should feel upon leaving a stable position in a fine household. She was sick at heart, and that could only mean that like me, her heart had been broken. I assumed her affection for you had been rebuffed.”