We looked at each other, nerves and a heavy sense of personal space invasion creeping through me. I wanted to push him away, or at the very least, stop him from looking at me.
“Try to push your magic into one place, Joclyn. Move it all to your toes, or your stomach. Focus it somewhere. I am going to have to battle through the barrier you have against me. It may hurt a bit, but the less you fight me, the less it will hurt.”
“You didn’t say anything about pain, Ilyan.” I said, second guessing myself.
“It may not hurt at all, Joclyn. I have never known anyone to be able to fight my magic before, so I don’t know what’s going to happen.” I could feel the warmth in his hands build as his magic congregated right under his skin.
“But you have done this before?”
“Many times, Silnỳ. You have nothing to fear.”
I nodded and pushed my magic down to my toes as he had asked, nodding my head once it was done.
“Brace yourself.”
I cringed at his words. I didn’t know how to react or what to prepare myself for. I closed my eyes and felt the muscles in my face tighten in expectation. At first it felt as it always did when Ilyan pushed his magic into me, warm tendrils circling through my body, but then they began to grow. It reminded me of when I was sick, when his magic would whoosh into me with a speed I never expected. This time I could feel his power, but also a wall inside of me, the force of his magic building against the barrier I unwillingly kept within myself.
“Ilyan,” I gasped when the pressure began to build into a pain.
“Let me in, Joclyn. You have to break your barrier down.”
I tried to focus through the pain, tried to find a way to break the barrier I wasn’t even sure I controlled. I felt the pressure grow, Ilyan’s intent to break the barrier obvious. And then I felt it – what could only be described as a tear inside of me. I focused on it, trying to force it to get bigger. The pressure within me grew and I did the only thing that made sense to me; I relaxed my body, starting at the tiny tear in my barrier.
As soon as I did, I felt the wall fall away, the tense shield inside of me disappearing. With the disappearance of the barrier, the pressure of Ilyan’s magic flooded into me. It was stronger than anything I had ever felt. I arched my back in an attempt to escape the pressure, the heat which bounded into me. I howled as it continued to build, Ilyan yelling and swearing in a panic as he sat over me.
Before it became too much, before I felt I would be torn apart by the intensity, it slowed. The heat swelled in a spot inside of my left shoulder and seeped away from the rest of me, the pressure leaving and my body relaxed.
I wasn’t sore. I wasn’t hurt. My body felt heavy and tired, my lack of sleep from the night before and the exertion of the last few minutes draining me. I sunk into the blankets, letting my body fall like a dead weight.
“Joclyn.” Ilyan shook my shoulders, but my body didn’t want to respond. I could hear him. I could feel the desire to answer, to reach out and touch him, but I couldn’t make myself do it.
“Joclyn! Please be alright!”
I felt heat from the spot in my shoulder seep away from the whole, magic that was unmistakably Ilyan’s crawling through me. I opened my eyes to him, surprised to see his face so lined with worry.
“Oh, God! Thank you!” He grabbed my shoulders and lifted me into him, my body collapsing against him. “Are you alright?”
He pulled me away, his eyes dragging over me. I could still feel his magic seeping through me.
“Did I hurt you at all?”
“I’m fine, Ilyan.” I was surprised at how weak my voice was.
His face lit up at my words, relief washing over him. The tendrils of his magic returned to my shoulder, but the all-encompassing warmth remained, his shield around me already in place.
“I’m so glad. You have no idea…” Ilyan shook his head, abruptly ending his thought.
I leaned forward into his chest; my body too tired to support my weight. “Was that supposed to make me so tired?”
“No, but I may have exhausted your body a bit more than usual. I can’t normally push that much magic into a person.”
“Why not?”
He hesitated.
“Because I kill them, Silnỳ.” My body tensed, and I felt Ilyan’s magic instantly move into me, relaxing me. It was odd to have him so willing to calm me, he had never used his magic on me so freely before.
“But I thought you said that the Štít was safe?” I asked, alarmed.
“It is Joclyn. I could never hurt you. I was just scared,” he pulled me to him, his arms wrapping heavily around me. “So scared.”
“How do you know you wouldn’t have hurt me, Ilyan?” I tried to ignore the fear that was growing inside of me.
“I know, Joclyn.”
“But you said you killed someone?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“I was very young at the time. You asked me why I was in the monastery, and that is why. Repentance for my sins I guess you could say. It was an accident and I have since learned to control it.”
“An accident?” Despite being so tired, my mind was now wide awake. Fear at what had almost happened and curiosity at a piece of Ilyan’s past waking me right up. I felt Ilyan’s arms stiffen around me, his unwillingness to let me go evident.
“I was fifteen. I went hiking with my two best friends, Talon who was only eight, and Sarin who was eighteen at the time. We were trying to scale a cliff when Sarin was bitten by a snake. A combination of fear and the snake’s venom froze his magic and he fell about twenty feet.”
I listened to his voice through his chest. He was speaking so quietly I could barely hear him. I could hear the sadness he still held at the memory, the pain and regret that still occupied him. Which was surprising, it had happened more than a thousand years ago.
“Talon went for help, but I knew I could heal him. My Father had taught me how. And besides, I was the King’s son. I could do anything… or so I thought.”
He paused, and I couldn’t help but smile, thinking of him as cocky was quite humorous. Ilyan didn’t like it when people used his formal titles even now. I had done it once in the last month when I was mad at him, and the glare he gave me would forever be forged into my memory.
“I pushed my magic into him as I had been taught, looking for his injury. I kept pushing as I kept looking. And the more I pushed, the more his body began to shake, the wider his eyes grew, the less he could breathe...”
“And you killed him?” I wrapped my arms tightly around him, keeping my head firm against his chest. His heart was beating erratically now, the panicked beats echoing through my skull. I wished I knew how to calm him, to help him to feel better. But I wasn’t sure I knew how, so I moved closer, holding him.
“Yes.”
“But, it was an accident. It didn’t mean you had to hide in monasteries for hundreds of years.”
“I know. But when my Father found out what had happened, he wasn’t mad. He was overjoyed to think that his son possessed so much magic that he could kill a man with one thought. I could see then that he wanted my power for his own use, but even then I only thought it was for a simpler cause. I was so young, so naive.”
“Everyone makes mistakes, Ilyan.” I pulled away from him, wishing I could comfort him more, I held onto his hand, wrapping mine firmly around his.
“I make more than my fair share.” He said stiffly “But no more. I have been careful with my magic ever since, Joclyn. So, I am very sorry if I hurt you.”
“I’m fine, Ilyan,” I said, shaking him off. “Does everyone hurt when too much magic is used? Could I have…” I had fruitlessly attempted to push my magic into others before – into Ryland. What if I had hurt him?
“No, Silnỳ, it is my weight to bear on my own,” Ilyan said, his eyes digging into mine. “Since then, I have perfected my control over it in the last eight hundred years. I will never hurt you, Joclyn. And now, I can always keep you safe.”
I felt the pulse of his magic in my shoulder and I was suddenly very worried about what this new connection could mean. I knew I had acted rashly. I hadn’t thought it through and now, now I was scared. Ilyan’s words reminded me so much of Ryland’s, of his promise to me right before he had been erased. But there was a chance that Ryland could still be there, and the Štít with Ilyan could hinder my connection with him. My mind continued to spin in confusing circles, until I flopped to the side, groaning and regretting my hasty choice.
“What happens if it breaks my connection with Ryland, Ilyan? Besides my not being hunted as easily, I mean.” I heard Ilyan laugh behind me, and my back stiffened in irritation.
“You can’t feel it can you?”
“Feel what?” I asked, turning enough to be able to see him.
“You let your barriers down long enough to let me break in, but now it is as strong as it was before. The Štít may be here,” he said, placing his hand on my left shoulder, right above my heart, “but I still have to fight your barrier to go anywhere else. Your connection with Ryland, and you, should be fine.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. I probably shouldn’t have been so happy considering all that the connection between Ryland and myself meant, but I couldn’t lose Ryland, not yet anyway.
My eyelids closed a bit longer than usual, and Ilyan chuckled before lifting and moving my body gently to the inside of the bed, against the wall.
My head sunk into the soft pillow, and my body was swallowed by the soft comforter he covered me with. I missed the fabric of a hoodie against my skin, but was exhausted enough not to let it bother me too much. Ilyan tucked me in, his hands sliding over the blankets and flattening the fabric against me.
“Sleep, Joclyn. I will be here when you wake to take all the bad dreams away.” I smiled up at him, my eyes hooded and groggy. He ran his finger along my jaw line, but my eyes had closed before his finger made contact with my mark.
Twelve
The dreams never came. I woke up that evening to Ilyan’s arms wrapped round me, his deep breathing in my ear. I wiggled away from the contact. While I had become comfortable with Ilyan in a lot of ways, that wasn’t one of them. I don’t know what made it okay with the dreams as opposed to without them, but there was a line there. I shrugged off his proximity as being an effect of the cramped quarters (after all, where else was he going to sleep?) and moved as far away from him as possible. Which, unfortunately, wasn’t very far.
I pressed my back against the wall, the dim light of dusk seeping in a bit through the heavy blackout curtains. We had slept all day, and thanks to the absence of the dreams, I felt as refreshed as I had in months. Of course, I still didn’t feel perfect. It had been over twenty four hours since I had last visited Ryland in the Tȍuha, and I was already beginning to feel the effects of that.
Rested in one way and exhausted in another. I yawned widely and pulled the necklace out from underneath my dirty white shirt. I sincerely hoped a shower could be in my future today.
I looked at Ilyan, sleeping with his mouth slightly ajar, before turning away, leaning my head against the wall, and plunging my magic into the necklace. I smiled in excitement, looking forward to building a city with Ryland this morning, before closing my eyes and opening them on a disaster zone.
I didn’t know how else to explain it. Ryland had destroyed all of his masterpieces before the last Tȍuha I shared with him, but now our white space held even more destruction. What had once been perfectly smooth white walls, were crumbling and cracking to reveal dark grey veining and what I could only describe as slime. The entire place looked like it was rotting.
I turned on the spot, but the space was empty as far as I could see. I could not even hear any crying like I had before. This time, everything was filled with silence.
I began to walk, making sure not to step on any of the dangerous looking fissures that were lining the space, my footsteps echoing around me ominously. I couldn’t help the fear that crept up my spine. The air was filled with tension, and my heart was screaming at me in warning. Everything here reminded me of the nightmares I was plagued with, not the sweet moments I shared with Ryland.
This deterioration didn’t make sense. Ryland’s behavior in our last visit might suggest a connection to my dreams, but I didn’t know something like this was possible.
“Ryland?” I didn’t dare talk too loud, scared I would find him in his same disgruntled state I had found him in before. There was no answer, so I continued walking, my panic growing as the destruction increased.
I had made it about halfway across the silent space when a smell of intense rotting reached my nose. It was sweet and pungent like rotting fruit but with the terrible undertone of death. It reminded me of the dumpster in the alley behind our apartment complex, the dumpster I almost died behind. The smell continued to grow as I moved, until I could go no further.
I pressed my hand against my face trying to disrupt the smell, but it kept coming in waves of intensity. My vision began to blur as my brain was deprived of oxygen, so I moved back a bit to escape it, my eyes still scanning the space where the smell was emanating from. The veins of deterioration increased the further you moved in that direction, until the floor became a black mass. Not the gentle black of velvet, but a deep, pulsing mass of oil and dirt.
I felt a pull toward the darkest area. I didn’t need to be told what was over there, I knew it was Ryland. The thought of my little friend trapped in that mess made my heart clench. I took a few steps forward only to be pushed back again by the smell.
“What are you doing here?” I spun at Ryland’s small voice, his tiny frame standing behind me.
I looked down to him, surprised to see his face twisted in fear and anger. I had seen that look on him once before, but he had been much older then. Seeing it again made my stomach flip.
“I came to see you, Ryland,” I tried to say as normally as I could. “What happened here?”
“You shouldn’t have come,” he said, ignoring my question.
He wasn’t even looking at me, he was looking behind me at the black mass as if he expected something to jump out at him. I followed his gaze, freezing when I saw that it had moved closer.
“What is it, Ryland?”
He didn’t answer, he simply grabbed my hand and began dragging me away, his little body putting as much of his strength into it as he could. Even with that, he barely moved me. I could still feel the pull toward the darkness, something calling me toward it. My feet stayed planted as he pulled.
“You have to get out of here, Jossy,” he pleaded, his fear growing even more.
“Ryland? What’s going on?”
He shifted his feet at the question, his eyes still not meeting mine. I could tell he was crying. I kneeled down to him, gently placing my hands on his shoulders.
“Ryland?” I whispered.
“You have to go,” he looked at me with pain and fear and anger, everything meshed together in a face that only said heartbreak to me. And then, he firmly placed his palm against my forehead and pushed me away from him.
My eyes opened to the tiny room, Ilyan sleeping next to me, his mouth still agape. I looked around wildly, trying to place what had happened, or how much time had passed. The light had almost fully left the sky and the first few stars were now visible from the gap in the curtain. I hadn’t been gone for too long, maybe only ten minutes. An hour in the Tȍuha wasn’t long enough for me to fully recover.
I blinked furiously before dropping the necklace, the cold lifeless stone becoming more of a dead weight than ever. I wasn’t exactly sure what had happened.
“Ilyan?” I spoke his name far too softly. I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake him that way. But part of me knew I didn’t want to. I could still feel my heart call to the black pit of rot in the Tȍuha, still screaming that that was where Ryland was stuck. I knew it was foolish, but I also knew that his memories weren’t completely gone. I needed to get him out.
<
br /> I grabbed the necklace again and pushed my magic into it, the moldy room flying into view the moment I closed my eyes. I got a glimpse of the black wall, my feet turning toward it when I felt a heavy weight against my back.
“Get out!” The words ricocheted around my head and followed me back to the small attic room, my breathing becoming a frantic pant.
I dropped the necklace again and leaned forward, shaking Ilyan’s shoulder roughly. I hoped he woke up in a good mood. I wasn’t sure how prevalent showers were going to be, and we still had a whole week until we went to France.
“Ilyan?” I spoke louder this time. I needed him to wake up. I was scared and confused about what had just happened.
He inhaled sharply as my voice startled him awake, his body jolting upright. Ilyan grumbled and yelled something in Czech before his brain caught up to his body. His hair waved down his back as he shook his head.
“Ilyan?” I whispered, not wanting to disrupt his waking routine and make him even surlier than I was expecting.
“Joclyn?” He turned slowly, his eyes widening to see me sitting there, awake and not screaming.
“You didn’t have any nightmares?” I shook my head in confirmation. Ilyan’s magic flared in my shoulder, his excitement surging his energy.
“Do you think it has anything to do with...” he stopped himself abruptly, shaking his head.
“With what?” I asked, leaning away from the wall.
Ilyan paused, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. His lack of response brought back the real reason why I woke him in the first place. I hoped Ilyan had the answers I wanted.
I didn’t beat around the bush, I just asked him right out.
“Can a Tȍuha rot?”
“What do you mean?” Ilyan’s nervous mannerisms stopped and he swung his legs around to sit cross legged in front of me. “Did something happen?”
“I’m not sure.” Now I hesitated. I didn’t know how to explain it and I didn’t want Ilyan to do his crazy, headache inducing, mind reading thing on me again. My head was already pounding enough from trying to figure out what was going on.
Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2) Page 12