“I think we are okay,” his voice was relieved but when he turned to face me I audibly gasped.
It was Ryland, but something about him was off. His eyes weren’t as blue, or maybe his forehead was higher. I couldn’t place exactly what was wrong, but maybe I wasn’t remembering him right.
That must be it. I sighed and pushed myself into him, my body relaxing as his arms wrapped around me.
“Oh, Jos. You have no idea how happy I am to have found you.” His hold increased, it was almost like he couldn’t get close enough, a sensation I could relate to.
“I know,” I said, my body shaking much more than I would have expected. “I thought Cail was…”
My voice cut off as Ryland’s grip got tighter again, choking the air from me.
“I thought I would never see you again.” He said deeply, his tone becoming monotone. His grip was still increasing.
I gasped and sputtered at the sensation. I hit him and pounded at his back, but he didn’t respond until the last possible minute when his hold loosened and his eyes lowered to look right at me.
“I’m sorry, Jos. I got scared.”
I looked in his eyes desperately trying to figure out if it was him or not. All the times in the Tȍuha, all the dreams, every encounter with Ryland’s possessed body had made it so I couldn’t tell the real Ryland from the fake Ryland anymore. I didn’t know if this Ryland would hurt me or protect me. The old Ryland, my Ryland, was now becoming a fuzzy memory of someone I wasn’t even sure existed. I didn’t trust the Ryland that held me. I didn’t want to be near him.
With that one thought, everything that I had felt before was shattered. I didn’t feel the love I once felt for him, and it scared me.
“It’s okay,” I said, my words stopping as the heavy footsteps from earlier filled the space, the cabinets and bottles in our current refuge rattling with each impact.
Ryland clutched me to him, his nails digging into me at each beat. I barely noticed. My muscles jumped at each footfall right along with them.
Before I knew what had happened, Ryland had grabbed my body and thrown it across the room. I sped through the air, screaming at the unprovoked action, before slamming into an empty book case. The second my body made contact with the moldy shelves, the thumping stopped.
“You brought them to me!” Ryland yelled, his voice echoing around me.
I picked myself up to face him, my body aching from the impact. His eyes were wide and his fists balled at his side. I stared as he yelled at me before hunching his shoulders and charging at me.
“You cursed me!”
He had made it about half way across the room before I picked myself up and ran through the first door I could find, Ryland still yelling behind me. I swung the door shut but did not stop my progression. I ran from door to door, hallway to hallway, until I thought that I had put enough space between us.
I looked wildly around the room I had entered to see cabinets, a hospital bed, a dresser, and a filthy toilet. I recognized this place, but like all the other rooms, nothing made sense. The walls that were once solid had deteriorated enough that you could see through them in many places, but only enough to see what was coming.
It was a lookout.
A hiding place.
I ran over to the toilet and wedged myself between the filthy bowl and what was left of one of the walls, the hospital bed perfectly placed to block me from view.
I moved my legs into my chest and clung to them, my eyes wide as I looked around and tried to figure out my next move.
Next move?
Why was I here anyway?
Did I live here?
No.
That wasn’t right.
I clung tighter to my legs, rested my head on my knees and tried to ignore the smell of the toilet, the scurrying feet of large pests, and the
drip
drip
drip
of water that was falling on my head.
A strange heat slowly began to spread through me. It began in my shoulder and soon reached every part of me. I screamed and jumped up, expecting to see blood dripping over my skin, but I found nothing. I looked around in a panic, knowing my yell had given away my location and that Ryland would be right behind me.
I ran my eyes over my skin, still looking for some form of injury, but nothing was there even though the warmth stayed with me.
The warmth seemed familiar, but I didn’t know why.
I had the distinct impression I was forgetting something.
Or was it someone?
Thirty-Three
The words were funny, but they calmed me. The strange words belonged to a song, a beautiful song that warmed my heart. I sang the song, the song that still lived somewhere deep inside me. I sang it to put myself to sleep every night in the only place I knew. In this room, against the toilet; I stayed here because I could see when they were coming for me. It was the only safe place in this terrifying space.
Ryland was hunting me.
He was determined to kill me. He tried to every day. Every day for forty-two days, I had made marks on the floor by the toilet to track the days, all the days he hunted me. The lines of my blood told me how many days he had hurt me. Forty-two days.
Forty-two days of Cail taunting me before Ryland came. Ryland hurts. Cail didn’t hurt, Cail warns.
Cail came first.
Cail always came first.
I felt the drip, drip, drip, against my neck, and that strange warmth flared again. I clawed at it, the same way I had for weeks, the skin now raw and broken in places. I scratched again, trying to get it out of me, but only my own blood ever came.
Blood wasn’t comforting. Ryland showed me that every day.
But this warmth was supposed to be comforting. I knew that somewhere deep inside of me.
I knew.
It was like the song, the song with funny words. I knew they were the same. I knew because of how the song made me feel, how fear slowed when I heard it. I knew the warmth was supposed to be the same.
I knew I was missing something.
If only I could figure out what it was, then I could get out of here.
Go…
Clunk
I froze.
He always tried to find me at night, but he hadn’t found this place. Not yet. The only place I was safe in here. I had hidden here every night, in the times I should have been sleeping. Nights, I sat. Days, I ran.
Forty-two days.
Like the marks in the floor.
I had forgotten why I was keeping track. Why did the days matter? I had forgotten what the lines meant, but still I marked them. Every day a new line. Every day a new mark. I was sure they were supposed to mean something, but I had forgotten.
I forgot everything.
Except the song.
Clunk
I knew he was close. The clunk was closer. I had to move. If he found me here, I would have nowhere to hide.
I stood and ran, not willing to see if he had found me. My foot dragged. It didn’t work right after Ryland yesterday. I held onto walls, keeping myself steady, and moved as fast as I could.
I ran from the safe place, through the hall of doors, through the door that led me to what looked like a school, and beyond that a library. The biggest one I had ever seen. I could be safe in the library, but I kept going.
I jumped at all the noises. I cringed away from the rats that watched me run. But I kept going until I reached the room where the desk was, I hid underneath it, hoping it was far enough.
My heart beat loudly, and my breath came hard. I couldn’t stop the pounding in my ears. I knew Cail was right behind me.
The door opened before I could stand and find another spot. Cail’s heavy footfalls entered. I hid behind the desk, trying to ignore the deafening sound of my pulse in my ears.
He had found me.
I tried to keep my breathing even, but I knew it was no use. He was looking right at me. I stood slowly, my hand slipping against the s
ide of the desk.
“Y...y...you ca...can’t have m...me.” I stuttered the words out slowly. It only increased his smile. He shook his head at me dejectedly, looking at me like I was the disgusting filth I knew he saw me as.
I moved my chin toward my collar bone, my nerves catching at his stare, my eyes not quite willing to leave him. I began to twitch and his smile grew.
“Oh, Joclyn,” He mocked. I had to remind myself that that was my name.
“Don’t you think this has gone on long enough? Can’t you give in? It’s already been a week.”
I twitched at his words, my eyes darting around. A week? Wasn’t it longer? It felt longer, much longer. Forty-two marks, weren’t those the days? I looked at Cail questioningly, but he only smiled more.
“No one is coming for you, Joclyn. It’s time to end the game.”
Was I expecting someone? I couldn’t remember. The warmth in my shoulder grew again, and I instinctively moved to scratch at it.
“Wh...wh…who?” I managed to get the one word out, but I could instantly tell that Cail was playing with me. There was no one there to help me, there never was.
“You can’t even remember? I wonder what you can remember. I wonder what you are holding onto.” He looked at me again, and I twitched away.
Clunk
I jumped and Cail smiled at my movement. More noises could only mean one thing. Ryland was coming. Ryland hurts. I knew nothing other than pain from Ryland. Somewhere deep inside me something yelled at me that there was once more, but I couldn’t remember what it was anymore. It was forgotten like everything else. Only one thing mattered.
Ryland hurts.
I knew I needed to run. I moved out from behind the large desk, my eyes getting wider as the sound increased. I jumped at each thump, my eyes so wide they burned. My leg dragged from where they had caught it in the doorframe yesterday. I could see Cail smile when he saw it still hurt.
I didn’t wait.
I just moved. I went through the door that would take me through the apartment, then the hall with the fingers. Cail watched me as I went. Cail never hurt.
He just came first.
Thirty-Four
I screamed as the bone cracked.
It always cracked.
And then healed.
Always healed.
“Come back here! Let me finish what I started!” Ryland was angry, always angry. Always hurting.
I dragged myself to the room with books. I could hide there until it healed. I heard him behind me, he was too close. He wanted to end it. He wanted me gone.
He told me so.
He said it had been too long. Two weeks.
No, eighty days.
I had lost track, I didn’t know which made sense.
Lots of lines on the floor.
Which day? How long?
I didn’t know how long.
I clawed at the warmth in my shoulder, my fingers wet with blood. The warmth was there all the time now, it was nice. I liked it. If I got it out I could see what caused it. I could hold it in my hands.
I got to the books and pulled myself into the corner where the rats lived. They let me in. They sat on my lap.
Song.
Song.
No more words.
Words were gone.
Only the song.
I rocked, the rocking helped. The rocking felt nice.
Like the warmth, the warmth so strong.
Song.
Song fading.
I was fading too.
I could feel it.
“Snap out of it, Joclyn!”
That voice.
I knew it.
“Mi lasko! Snap out of it! Get out of there!” The voice was close.
The warmth was strong. So strong it hurt. I looked up to find the voice, but it was not a voice. It was a girl on a bed. A man was kneeling over her. He was strong. His face was strong. He was tall with bright blue eyes and short blond hair. He was the one who was yelling. But he was not angry like Ryland, he was scared.
Seeing him scared me too. I moved into the rats, but the rats were gone. They were scared.
“Joclyn! Come back to me!” he yelled again. I could tell he was crying. He placed his hands on the girl, but his hands didn’t hurt. His hands were gentle.
I didn’t know someone could be so nice.
The warmth inside me grew, but I didn’t claw at it. I didn’t think I was supposed to anymore.
I couldn’t stop looking at the man. I knew this man.
“Joclyn!”
That was my name. He called the girl my name. But the girl was not me. This girl was clean. This girl was beautiful.
I moved to look at the girl.
“Dramin! Bring the Water!” he yelled. Another man entered, this one was tired, but he was kind too.
“What in land’s end is going on here?” The new man was worried.
I walked around them. I couldn’t take my eyes off the sad one.
I knew him.
Something was familiar about him, but something was off.
He couldn’t see me.
Why couldn’t he see me?
“Ovailia has returned. It was just as Joclyn said…. Ryland’s here. He’s awake.”
I spun in fear as the new one said his name. But he was not here. Pain was not here.
“What do you mean he is awake?” the sad one said. There was fear in his voice. He looked back to the girl.
“Joclyn!” he yelled again, but the girl did not respond.
“Ovailia brought him. He is fine. But the bond is gone. Edmund broke it weeks ago.”
The sad one was still scared. The new one looked scared now too.
The warmth. It grew again. It was hot now. It hurt.
“But she is still sleeping… She has been in the Tȍuha for two weeks. How can she be…” The sad one’s voice was heavy. He placed his hand soft against her head.
They were both so nice. Could people be so nice?
“It’s a Vymȁzat.”
“What?” The new man dropped a mug he was holding, the dark liquid seeping into the floor. “How did you miss that? You tried everything…”
“I didn’t miss it. It was hidden.”
The warmth was so hot it hurt. I clutched my shoulder, my teeth grinding with the pain.
“Ilyan, you can’t possibly be saying what I think you are saying…”
Ilyan.
I knew him.
My Ilyan.
The song.
My song.
He sang me the song as I lay dying, when I woke from nightmares, when I was sad.
I remembered.
Everything.
The sight. The sight of the Drak.
My sight. It must be how I was seeing this.
I looked to Ilyan as he continued to yell at the girl, no, to yell at me. Was this happening now, or had it already happened?
“Ilyan?” I yelled his name in a panic, words feeling foreign on my tongue after not using them for so long. But he didn’t respond. He looked at the girl, his hair short on his head. I liked it. Now it was the way it had been in the vision. Was that why he cut it? Was it really him?
I waved my hand in front of his face but he didn’t turn. The warmth continued to grow. The warmth that was Ilyan’s magic.
Magic.
I walked around them, watching their movements, trying to figure out what to do, and why I was seeing this. It had to be for a reason. It was my way out. I knew it.
My heart thumped at the possibility, my body twitching with overstimulation, the way it had for however long I had been trapped in here. One hour to every ten minutes. Weeks. I twitched again. It had been so much longer to me.
I yelled to Ilyan, screaming at him as his panic grew, as he and the new one, Dramin, yelled back and forth. The room was full of sound as they yelled, each person’s panic adding to the noise. Without thinking, I reached out to place my hand on Ilyan’s arm.
My hand made contac
t, Ilyan’s skin warm underneath my icy fingers. He looked up, and I was sure he could see me. His eyes widened in horror before moving back to the beautiful girl he still sat over.
Everything clicked together as Cail walked through the door, his wicked scowl fading at the scene before him.
And then it hit me.
I had magic.
I placed my hands firmly on Ilyan, shoving him out of the way and directly onto Dramin. Both men fell onto the floor in a heap as I raised my hands; the sleeping form of myself raising hers as well.
I could feel the crackle in my skin, the power congregating before I released it – right into Cail’s chest. Cail screamed and jumped to the side, the powerful burst flying into the soft, blood soaked wall behind him.
“No!” I could only smile at his outburst, the fear in his voice making me feel more powerful.
“How do you remember?”
I looked at the group to my left. Cail obviously couldn’t see the vision as I could. “I am stronger than you would have ever assumed, Cail. My Father made me that way.”
“No! It can’t be!”
Cail moved to attack, but I stepped to the side, my brain able to determine the weakness of his weapon early on. I did not wait for him to regroup. I did not wait to find a weakness. I needed to get out of here, and Cail was keeping me trapped. I moved my energy seamlessly into him, the power burning him away.
His eyes grew wide at the first of the energy and at the pain my attack was causing him. Soon his legs gave way and he sunk to the ground, life leaving him.
“Wyn.” His final word was a whisper of his sister’s name. My best friend. I didn’t have time to make sense of it. I didn’t have time to rejoice.
It took a moment for me to realize my mistake. I was trapped inside Cail’s mind, a mind I had just destroyed.
Everything around me began to shift and fall as Cail’s mind disintegrated into nothing. I screamed as the ceiling peeled away, the doors fell off of their hinges, and red liquid poured into the room from behind every new opening. I would drown in it. Drown here, in Cail’s mind. There was no return path out of here. I would die here.
Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2) Page 32