“That isn’t all we are, is it? I love you, Dean. Yeah, I want you, but I would, magic or not,” I insisted.
“I love you too. That is why we feel this. You are my one, and I am yours. Our bodies know it. Only your mind is unconvinced,” he comforted.
“Maybe we should work at convincing my mind,” I purred.
“Anita, baby, you are killing me.” Dean’s voice was strained.
“Nice to know that you want me that badly too, but that isn’t what I was talking about. I want to take you home to meet my mother,” I explained.
He cocked his head to the side, which he always did when he was thinking.
“I’m getting there,” I whispered.
Finn
“Sickeningly adorable, aren’t they?” I said, walking toward Chloë.
She had a wistful look on her face. She wasn’t jealous, but I could see that she wanted what they had, and I wanted to give it to her.
Chloë turned to face me, her full lips pulling into a smile, and her warm, brown eyes flashed emerald green. It used to frighten me to see how strong her reaction to me was, but now I found it encouraging. Truthfully, I had only really been frightened because I’d felt the same way. I just hadn’t been ready to admit it. I was ready now.
“How was your trip?” Chloë asked.
“Eh,” I responded vaguely. “It was missing something,” I continued.
She cocked her eyebrow at me. “You were in Europe. What could have been missing?”
I smiled at her and tugged on one of her long curls. “You,” I responded.
“Finn…” she warned.
“Chloë…” I refused to back down.
She sighed. “I thought we were going to try and be friends?”
“I tried. I want you too badly—physically, emotionally, and permanently. No, not want. I need you. You still want me too.” I put my index finger over her lips when I could sense she was going to argue with me, and I felt the delicious jolt of electricity travel between us. “Don’t deny it. I know you felt that. Your eyes can’t lie to me.”
“I won’t deny it. I want you. I’ve always wanted you, and I probably always will. Maybe someday we can get it together and be on the same page at the same time,” she admitted.
“You want me right now?” I asked.
She nodded hesitantly.
“You have feelings for me, more than lust?”
Again, she nodded.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, and she softened against my chest. I stroked her silky, soft hair and whispered, “Then we are on the same page at the same time.” She tensed in my arms. “Shh. I won’t push too fast. Go out with me. Let’s do it right this time. Let me take you on a real, ordinary date,” I urged.
“An ordinary date? You’re really trying to sell it, aren’t you?” she teased.
“Dinner and a moonlit stroll. I’ll grow you some flowers. I’ll be a gentleman and walk you to the door. Maybe you’ll kiss me goodnight. You know, a normal first date,” I said trying to convince her.
“Normal, except you are going to sleep down the hallway. How are you going to avoid me if things get too serious for you?” she asked nervously.
Ah, at last, we were getting to her worries. “I don’t want to avoid you, and I want us to get very serious. I want to prove to you that I’m not going to run again,” I promised her.
She looked into my eyes, and I could see her hesitation flicker briefly. “I’m not sure how you are going to do that, Finn.”
“I’m going to keep trying until you believe me,” I replied confidently.
“Well I guess that could work,” she responded and playfully bumped my shoulder with hers.
“Tonight?” I asked.
“You move fast. Tonight, huh?” she thought, tapping her finger against her chin.
“You really have to think about it?” I grumbled.
“No, I don’t really have to think about it. Tonight sounds perfect. It’s five now. Give me an hour to get ready. You know where to pick me up,” she answered and teleported away.
Grey
Mere seconds after the flight attendant announced that we could use our cell phones, mine began to ring. “Hello, Carlos. Do you have an update on the Auto-da-fé?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, yes. It appears that there is an American branch to the group. Hans, Eliana, and I nearly caught up to the group responsible for the murder of Miss Bisset, but it seems that they fled to join the American Inquisitors.”
“What are my instructions?” I asked Carlos.
Carlos, Anita's father, led the Watchers, and we deferred to him to coordinate our efforts. Unfortunately, he answered to Marguerite Du Lac, and she always had her own agenda in play. It was becoming increasingly obvious that she was trying to set the stage for Chloë to take over the council, even if that meant placing her daughter in harm’s way. Marguerite was pushing her daughter to take on responsibilities that fully matured witches didn’t even handle.
I could only speculate why Marguerite wanted her daughter to take over her position on the Council. I can’t imagine Marguerite willingly giving up such a powerful position, but the status of maintaining this dynasty with yet another Du Lac witch would be a powerful accomplishment. Rumors said that Marguerite missed Eli and wanted to retire from the Council to rekindle their romance. I thought that was assigning feelings to her that she was incapable of, but then again, she and I had never been friendly.
I knew for a fact that she had arranged with Hans Christianson for Chloë to marry Finn. Of course, no one had mentioned to either of them what their parents had planned. Chloë was so wonderfully independent; she’d ultimately make her own decision.
I was going to tell her what I’d overheard nearly a year ago, but I couldn’t deny that there was something between her and Finn. I would love to be able to, but the air practically crackled when they were near each other. She was loving, faithful, and unfailingly loyal. She would have stayed with me until it was painfully obvious to both of us that we didn’t have a future. Meanwhile, I’d had to stand by and watch her fight her longing for Finn. My heart had been slowly breaking standing next to her as her second choice.
“Grey, are you listening to me?” Carlos yelled over the phone.
“Shit. Sorry. It has been a long day and I’m…hungry,” I said as an excuse.
“I suppose that Marguerite placed you on a commercial flight without consideration of your need to feed? Don’t say anything. I know the answer. I know how a vampire’s mind trails off when in need of sustenance. I’ll make this quick while I still have your attention.
“There was a murder of a young shifter in Oregon. He was not fully matured, only about twenty-two years old. They, thankfully, missed his younger twin sisters. I have sent Cooper, who is Dean’s cousin, to extract the girls. Grey, the Watchers have been ordered to rescue every supernatural that is not living in a coven. We are to send them to their home coven, or if they don’t have one, we have a few designated covens listed to temporarily house the stragglers. The Christiansens and I are handling the European members, while you and Cooper are supposed to handle North America.
“I am e-mailing you a name and address. This young woman does not have a home coven. You are to deliver her to the Central Coven. Cooper’s charges will be joining you there. The two of you will stay on to assist in this fight.”
I felt my fangs pushing at my gums. It was more than my mounting thirst; anger was thundering through my body at how carelessly Marguerite treated her daughter. “Marguerite expects Chloë to fight these fanatics, doesn’t she?” I asked, a deadly chill lacing my words.
I heard Carlos sigh. He was equally frustrated since his daughter was also at risk. “Yes she does. Grey, listen to me carefully. Marguerite wants you to stay away from her daughter because she believes you will damage her hopes of an alliance with the Elves. I don’t give a shit what she wants. Her political maneuvering is putting our children at risk. I want to make sure that t
wo mature supernaturals are present to assist them. I have also instructed Cooper to remain with the Central Coven. I know that this is going to be difficult for you because of your feelings for Chloë, but I need you to make sure that they have the help they are going to need.”
“Of course I will help them. Anita is like a sister or daughter to me as well. I’ll do my best to look after all of them. Honestly, I somehow knew that Marguerite was going to foist this task off onto Chloë and was already planning to meet up with them,” I admitted.
“Wait until you see your charge. This is really going to piss Marguerite off,” Carlos said and chuckled.
I smiled and then quickly schooled my face because my fangs had emerged and I was still surrounded by prey—I mean people. I really needed to head to the safe house where I had a delivery from a blood bank waiting for me.
“Tell me,” I demanded, my voice getting raspy.
“Her name is Bridgett O’Connell. She is tall, fair, blond, and blue-eyed,” he described.
“I don’t understand why that would irritate Marguerite,” I stated.
“Ah, you didn’t let me get to the best part. She’s an Elf,” he replied.
“Well, that is interesting,” I agreed.
Dean
“The whole house to ourselves… What will we do?” Anita asked seductively.
“Careful, Anita. I told you. Don’t push me too hard,” I warned.
“Is this too hard?” she asked, sliding her small hands across my chest.
“Okay, you asked for it!” I tossed her over my shoulder and swatted her on the rear.
She squealed, and I could feel excitement course through her. A rumbling purr exited from my chest before I could stop it.
“When are we going to visit your mom?” I asked in a lust-roughened voice.
“Hmm…tomorrow is Sunday. I usually meet my mom for brunch and then sometimes afternoon mass. Think you can handle going to church with my mom?”
I smiled and let her slide down my front. “You’re Catholic?” I asked surprised.
She shrugged. How had I missed something so basic like her religion?
“Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing, Dean. I don’t make a big deal out of it. Going to church is important to my mom. She used to go with her family, and then after my dad left, it gave her a feeling of stability. I like the serene expression she gets when we are at mass, so I have kept going with her even though I’m here.”
“I’m glad I’m going to meet your mom. I can see how important your family is to you. It is to me too, and I want you to be able to keep your mother in your life. I have something to tell you.” I paused for dramatic effect—and because Anita had the patience of a toddler.
“Well, tell me,” she demanded.
“I’m Catholic too,” I told her.
“Really? Oh my God, my mom is going to love you! I mean, she was going to like you, sure, but she is going to freaking love you now,” she rambled. She grabbed her phone and began hopping around the living room.
“I’m going to call my mom and let her know you are going to join us tomorrow,” Anita chirped. “Hi, Mom… Mmhmm… About tomorrow… Yeah, I’m coming… I want to introduce you to the guy I’ve told you about… No, he wants to come to mass with us… Because he’s Catholic… Mom… Mom… I don’t know if he has an opinion on china patterns… What do you mean you want to book the church just in case?… He isn’t Latino… I’m sure he could learn to speak Spanish… Why do I need to send my measurements?” Anita ran out of the room, mumbling something about having years to give her grandchildren.
I couldn’t help but laugh. I liked her mom already.
Several minutes later, Anita came back in the room. “Sorry about that,” she apologized.
“I take it your mom wants you to get married?”
She blushed and looked away. “Yeah. She thinks good Catholic girls shouldn’t wait too long to get married because we might give in to lust and lose our virtue,” she said with a scowl.
“I’ll promise your mom that your virtue is safe with me,” I teased.
“That ship sailed a while back,” she muttered.
I growled. Anita was mine, and I hated knowing that I wouldn’t be her first like she’d be mine.
Her eyes narrowed and bored into me. I raised my hands in surrender.
“I know what you are thinking,” she snapped.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to growl at you. I’m just being a possessive idiot,” I apologized.
“No, I’m sorry. It’s a sensitive subject for me,” she mumbled.
I pulled her down to the couch with me and wrapped my arms around her. “I know you wish I didn’t know about what Alexander did to you when you were turned. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you,” I told her.
Anita’s body tensed and her eyes glowed. “I really don’t like talking about it,” she muttered.
“Anita, I want you to trust me. You have to trust that I love you.”
“Why do you want to marry me?” Anita asked suddenly.
“I love you. I’ll never want anyone other than you,” I answered easily.
“You wouldn’t if you knew everything about my past. You’d never look at me the same as you do now.”
“Anita, nothing could change the way that I feel about you.”
“How can you be sure of that?”
Then something occurred to me. “Anita, I’m not going to leave you. You can tell me before or after we are bound to each other and I will still love you. Are you pushing for us to sleep together so I won’t leave you?”
“I…I mean, I…” Anita’s face scrunched together while she thought about what I’d asked. “Not purposefully. Shit, I guess I was.”
I kissed her temple. “Hey, let’s drop it for tonight and watch a movie. I’m not going to push you into anything—not into marrying me or telling me what happened—before you are ready to. But, baby, I should tell you that I think I kinda know already.”
Her grip on my arm tightened and I felt her nails dig into my flesh. “How?” she whispered.
“Anita, we’ve been together for almost a year. I remember how you talked to Chloë about sex when she first started seeing Grey. You were so callous and indifferent to her having an emotional connection to him before they had sex.”
She took a deep breath and tried to calm down.
“Hey, we don’t have to talk about this,” I said, trying to ease her discomfort.
“I know, but I actually kinda do. I missed you so much while you were gone. I need you to know that you are it for me too. I want to be ready to marry you. I’m just not there yet, and this is part of the reason why. I want you to know I’m working on it. I’m taking steps to get to where you are. They may be small ones, but I’ll make it to you. Just wait for me.”
“Anita, I’ll wait forever for you. Is that what meeting your mom is about?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah. I thought that the more parts of my life I bring you into, the more ready I’ll be to say ‘I do,’” she admitted.
I tucked a caramel-brown lock of hair behind her ear. “What about your other concerns?”
“After what happened with Alexander, I acted out. Grey was around, trying to rein me in, but it only helped so much. I hated feeling like I had no control. I couldn’t control being invaded by Alexander. I wanted the power back. It seemed if I didn’t care about sex, then it didn’t matter losing my virginity that way.
“So I hooked up with any guy I was mildly interested. I’ve had sex with a lot of guys, Dean. Guys whose names I don’t remember, assuming I ever knew them. I can’t take that back. There is no undoing that. You say that nothing in my past can come between us, but how can you mean that? You are so moral, so good. I’m not, and I never will be again.”
I wanted to watch Alexander burn all over again. I wanted to shove the stake deep into his heart and watch him catch fire while the sun came up. I wanted to bleed him slowly and draw out every agoni
zing second. He’d died too quickly.
I knew, deep down, that she was…uhm…experienced before we’d gotten together. I hadn’t realized how far it had gone. I guess I had imagined her maybe having had sex with a couple of guys, and that was my worst-case scenario. But did it change how I felt? No.
I pulled her onto my lap. Sitting next to her wasn’t close enough. I breathed in the citrusy smell of her skin. Anita always smelled like limes to me. I took my time studying her face. She was going crazy waiting for me to say something. I’m sure she was expecting me to yell and storm away from her in disgust. I couldn’t risk saying the wrong thing, so I just sat with her.
I ran my fingers through her silky hair. I leaned in and kissed her. At first, it was a quick tease of my lips against hers. It wasn’t enough, so I went back for more. I pressed my lips against hers, demanding entrance with my tongue. I poured my love into her with every stroke, caress, and my every breath.
It was difficult, but I managed to pull away. I was at the razor’s edge of my control. I would never take away such a big choice from her though. Because once we were together, when we made love, I was never going to let her go. Who was I kidding? I wouldn’t let her go now.
“What changed everything for you? What made you stop torturing yourself for something that was beyond your control?” I asked. I was breathing heavily, and my heart was racing. I wanted to kiss her again, but I wanted her to know that I wanted all of her. I wanted her heart and her soul, not just her body. However badly I wanted her body right now, I would not settle for less than everything.
“You changed everything. I pushed you and you wouldn’t give in. I whined, ranted, raved, pouted, and still, you held firm. I was amused, intrigued, impressed, and madly in love. I can’t give you my first time, but you are the first and only man I’ve ever loved. You are the only one who has ever had my heart,” she said, gazing deep in my eyes.
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