"They're probably from college, and some of my mom. I don't want to look at them but you can if you want," I said and handed her the photos that I plucked out. "You can be the photo stackerupper."
"Whoa," she said. "There's a picture of Vanessa having sex with like three guys."
"That's not unusual." I laughed and shook my head. "Some of her stuff is bound to be mixed in with mine."
"There's a few like that." Xany snickered. She seemed entertained until stopping abruptly while I tossed a few CD cases on the floor.
"What?"
She hesitated. "You did have a lot of scars." She looked up at me.
I searched her expression for a moment, and contemplated looking at the picture. Of course I gave in and leaned over to see. The picture was from college and I sat with my legs crossed on the corner of a pool table, a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. Jaxon and Vanessa, who was holding a pool cue, stood beside me. The picture was candid, none of us looking at the camera. I wore a skirt and there was a long jagged scar across the top of my thigh. One arm was covered but the one holding the beer had about a dozen small scars lined up in a row along my forearm, and a single one that ran from my neck down across my collarbone. The one on my cheek was the most obvious. I cringed as I remembered my flashback in the cave. The smaller scars weren't as obvious until I looked for pigment changes in my skin. I touched my face where the scar used to be. Xany met my gaze in disbelief.
"You didn't really believe that I had a lot of scars, did you?" I asked her.
"No, I didn't..." She looked between me and the picture. "Who's that preppy looking guy you're talking to?"
"That's Jaxon. He was from England. He was young like me in school. I think I was seventeen in that picture, he was about the same. Vanessa was like twenty. He was my friend then became Vanessa's even though he was a wolf," I explained, though I continued to stare at myself.
Xany kept looking between the picture and me. "You don't look like yourself at all." Her lips were curved into a frown.
I agreed with her. I was glad I didn't look like that anymore. I owed my miraculous transformation to Vanessa, whose healing tongue could heal wounds and battle scars. In essence, my scars weren't from a battle but I guess Gaia thought so because her gift worked. I reminded myself to thank Vanessa when she got home. I don't think I ever did.
"I was probably wasted, too." I drew my eyes away from the image and back to the trunk. Xany stacked a few more photographs without looking at them. I knew there were some pictures of me and my mom but I just couldn't bear the reminder.
"You never noticed that the scars were gone?"
"I really didn't until you showed me. People always pitied me because of them. I could tell. I don't know when Vanessa made them go away." The familiar taste of guilt and shame lingered on my palate. I really needed to thank her...and maybe ask her some questions.
"Did you date Jaxon?" she asked.
"No, but I probably slept with him. I don't remember it, but it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility." I glanced up at her and smirked.
After all the pictures were cleared out, I was finally able to get to the bottom of the trunk. Several dry-cleaning style clothing bags were piled at the bottom. I knew they held my dresses and some other regalia.
"I wish I knew you back then," Xany said suddenly.
"Why? I was horrible, Xee. Mean and just...inhuman." Something hard and square was crammed between the bags. I yanked at it until an old VHS tape clattered to the floor. It wasn't labeled. "I don't even want to know what this is." I tossed it aside.
"I've seen you rude, but I can't imagine you ever being mean." She set the photos down and giggled at me when I tossed the tape.
"I was. I remember some of it. I was horrible to Vanessa, too. I have no idea how she could've ever forgiven me for some of the things I said and did." With as much caution as I could, I removed one of the dresses and set it across my lap. It was a small one that barely stretched beyond my legs. Xany helped me remove the protective wrapping.
"Probably because the loving things you said outweighed the bad things," she assumed then lifted a brow at me. "Something made her love you."
I couldn't help but smile at the thought. "Yeah, maybe. Sometimes I forget the good things," I said as we hung the dress up on the back of my bedroom door.
"This one is so little, Nee." She looked at the dress with soft, doe-like eyes.
"This one was from when I was little. My mom made it. I remember wearing it all the time," I said as we moved close to admire the beadwork. I touched the soft leather with delicate affection. My mom had touched this very dress and these little beads. I shivered as a chill ran up my spine.
"It's beautiful," Xany said.
"It's amazing that she touched it."
"Huh?"
"It's amazing that my mom touched it back then, and I can touch it now." My voice must've sounded a bit spacey.
Xany only smiled and ran her fingers through my hair. A lump rose in my throat so I quickly wrapped the dress back up and set it on the bed. Xany watched me for a moment then we returned to the trunk.
"Here are some moccasins," I said and lifted out several well-worn pairs of hand-sewn shoes.
"These are great!" Xany caught me in a sudden hug. I couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm. She took the moccasins from me and set them on the bed.
"You like them that much?" I asked when she let me go.
"I like them, but you just seemed like you needed a hug." She smiled an innocent smile and rocked on her heels.
"Quit empathing me." I laughed. "All of the shoes are handmade. I think I made one of them but can't remember." I lifted out one of the bigger dresses but frowned when I saw discoloration in the center. "This one looks rotted or something."
Xany helped me remove the dress from the bag and we hung it on the door to inspect. The dress was a light tan color and very worn and soiled. It was short with no beadwork at all. The leather was torn in the center and a huge reddish-brown stain surrounded it. I tilted my head as I looked at it.
"How did that happen in the trunk?" I said.
Xany stared at the dress with her hand over her mouth.
"What?" I looked at her, my brows crinkling with confusion.
"Shawnee, look at it. The stain." She nudged my shoulder.
"I already looked at it." I had to admit, her behavior was freaking me out a bit.
Xany lifted the dress off the door and held it up against me. She positioned the dress so that the shoulders were slightly lower than mine and pressed her hand where the tear was. Her hand pushed right against my lower stomach where my scar was. Finally it hit me.
"Oh my God." I tugged the dress away from her and turned it around to look at it. I closed my eyes when the memory hit me. Xany put her hand on my cheek then pried the dress out of my hands.
"It's okay, NeeNee," she whispered.
"Why would I keep that?" I looked over the dress again. My hand rested on my stomach.
"It meant something to you, like all the things in the trunk." She shrugged. "You said sometimes you forget the good."
I nodded. My mom had made that dress, regardless of the violence I endured while wearing it. "Let's just put it away. This is getting to be too much."
Xany wrapped the dress back up and placed it with the other one on the bed. "We can stop and come back to it later if you want," she said.
I clenched my teeth. I didn't want to give in to the uncomfortable memories. If I could survive hours in a cave with crazed and frenzied tainted wolves, I could survive a few uncomfortable memories that weren't even happening in present time.
"No, there are more dresses in there that we can wear. I can't let bad memories stop me from getting what we need." I took a deep breath and moved back to the trunk.
Xany nodded and joined me. I lifted the next dress, and smiled. "This is my favorite one," I said. As I removed the dress from the trunk, something tumbled from the wrapping and landed
at Xany's feet. She bent to pick it up as I hung the dress on the door.
"What was that?"
"Your little doll."
"My doll is over there." I nodded toward the bed.
"It's still there, this one was in the trunk." She handed it to me then removed the wrapping from the dress.
I looked down at the doll I was now holding and smiled in recognition. "I knew I had one of these growing up. My mom made this one for me," I said, and inspected the doll. It was nearly identical to the one that was on the bed except the old one was soiled and worn and the beads of the necklace were different colors. As I turned it over, I saw my name written in Cherokee characters on the leg.
"It's nearly the same as the other." Xany turned back to me to look it over.
"Yeah. Imogene said they were a Cherokee item. If my mom knew how to make them, I'm sure others did, too," I said, and set the old doll on the bed beside the new one, both of them now leaned against my pillow. Xany giggled quietly when I put the dolls together.
"What?" I looked over my shoulder at her.
"You're so cute, NeeNee."
I shook my head at her and returned my focus to the dresses. "I made this one, and this one," I said as Xany hung up the remaining four dresses around the room. Each was a different tone of leather with different beadwork. One of them had a wolf paw on the shoulder in turquoise beads, and another had a thunderbird in the center of the chest. The last two were two-piece dresses; one with a long skirt, and one with a short skirt. The tops were fringed just below the breasts. One was completely plain, and the other had beads dangling from every fringe.
"I love this one." Xany pointed to the one with the beads on the fringe.
"I thought you would." I grinned. "The short skirt suits you."
"Anything short suits me!"
"The top should fit you because it ties in the back. We can add more leather if it's too short." I nodded and looked her over. The dressed seemed like it was made to fit her frame.
"Which one will you wear?"
"This one, with the wolf paw. That's my favorite." I stroked the paw print and smiled.
"There's one more dress in here," she said, as she looked into the nearly empty trunk.
"That white one is my mom's wedding dress. Leave it in there, I don't want to take it out." The remaining items included eagle feathers and headbands wrapped in tissue paper, and jewelry in a pouch that rested on top of the last dress. Xany nodded and left the dress alone.
"Let's not let the guys see us in these until the powwow. It'll be a surprise." Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Do you think everyone would try to kill Vanessa if she came?" I asked as I brushed my fingers over the feathers to smooth them out.
"Not anymore. She helped lead them to us in that mountain. The Sept is in her debt, even if they don't like cats, they have to honor it." Xany nodded a firm nod. "Nothing is worse than a werewolf in debt."
"The cubs might have a hard time though." I bit my lip.
Xany shrugged. "Yeah but their parents can keep them under control. And besides, if Vanessa stays beside Mal, Caden, or Hank, no one will dare go near her. Do you think she can handle it though? I mean, if she has to face people disliking her..."
"She gets a rise out of people disliking her, that's my ill-behaved cat for you. Most of the time though, it doesn't really seem to bother her. Cats have very large egos to protect them."
"And they can smell pink," Xany said with a huff.
"I'll teach you how to speak cat so you can understand her better. She's starting her heat time and that will probably make her even more difficult to deal with." I laughed at Xany's huffing and puffing.
"Ugh." She groaned. "It's hard enough already."
"Let's clean up before the guys come inside." I began to pack away the dresses. "I'd like to make Vanessa some leathers but I don't have enough time for this powwow."
"You can do it for the next one," Xany said, as she helped me pack away the photographs and sketches after the dresses and books. "We better get to cooking dinner. You know how the guys are when they're hungry."
"Mhmm, like beasts." I grinned.
"Uh huh." Xany giggled. "Nee, are you sure you don't want a picture of your mom in your room?"
"I don't." I just couldn't bear to see her right now. The pain inside caused my heart to ache at just the simple thought. Xany nodded though she stared at one photograph in particular for a moment longer before placing it back in the trunk. I closed it and pushed it back to the end of my bed. When my bed was cleared off, I sat down and picked up the two leather dolls and poked at their seams.
"Do you think you could make them?" Xany asked.
"I was just thinking about that. I'd like to try." I set the dolls down beside the pillow.
Xany held her hand to me. Her smile was warm as usual. I took it without hesitation and she gave me a squeeze. Sometimes I think Xany is the most affectionate person in the world. No wonder Gaia gave her the gift of empathy. Her simple gestures can soothe even the weariest soul. Together we walked to the kitchen. It's funny how sometimes, no matter how hard I tried to escape my past, something simple like picking out a dress could bring it all up again. In a way, I was glad.
Chapter Twenty-Four
A few days later, the front of the cabin was turned into the perfect setting for a powwow. The fire pit sat at the center surrounded by a wide circle of cloth-covered logs. Several yards away, long tables were set up for food and drinks. Imogene put up some smaller tables so that she could sell crafts, artifacts, and regalia. Fractured sunlight beamed through the trees, casting long shadows of shade in the grass. Hank pulled up in his truck as I stood in the doorway of the cabin looking out over the setup. The idea of hosting a full house, or yard, already caused me anxiety and no one was here yet. Hank and his oldest son began unloading drums of varied sizes out of the truck and set them up in the designated area. Caden appeared out of nowhere and spoke to Hank while nodding and pointing to different spots outside. I crossed my arms over my chest almost at the same time as Mal wrapped his arms around my middle. I leaned into him with a smile.
"We can always take a walk together if it gets too crowded," he whispered, the heat of his breath brushing my ear.
"Are you sure Xany's the only empath around here?"
"Mhmm. Doesn't take an empath to notice your worry," he said and nipped my shoulder.
He took my hand and I moved with him back into the kitchen. The whole house smelled of Xany's wonderful cooking, which made my stomach growl. I turned to face him as he slipped a finger into the belt loop of my jeans and jerked me toward him in a playful manner. I laughed and placed my hands on his chest.
"You're almost as naughty as Vanessa."
"Both of us have the same thing to be naughty about," he said, accompanied by a grin. He closed the distance between us and pressed his lips to mine. I returned his kiss and draped my arms over his shoulders. All my worry slipped away.
"Did you finish hooking up the music thing that you were doing?" I asked, ending the kiss. With the house about to become crowded, I didn't want to lead him too far astray.
"The music thing," he repeated with a laugh. "If you mean the radio, then yes. I plugged it in."
"Wise ass." I laughed and hugged him. He lifted me up effortlessly and guided my legs around his waist.
"You gonna wear one of your dresses tonight?" His brows flicked upward and he toted me over to the sofa. I settled into his lap and toyed with the fringe on his vest.
"Of course. Xany's borrowing one too until we can get one made for her."
"Can you make dresses?"
"For little kids; I'm not as adept at making them for adults anymore." I shrugged. I didn't have many adults to make them for and children's clothes were much smaller and easier to stitch.
"As long as you're adept at wearing them, that's what counts," he said then leaned in to kiss me again. Our stomachs pressed together and I melted into him as our tongues tangoed.
His hands wandered down my thighs before sliding up the back of my shirt. My thoughts slipped away and all I could fathom was him.
We have an audience. Mal's voice echoed in my mind. I broke the kiss and turned to see Vanessa standing beside us.
"Hi, kitten," I said and reached out a hand to her.
She took it and knelt on the sofa beside us. I stroked her cheek before leaning in to press a gentle kiss on her pinkish lips. She smiled through it and purred. Mal greeted her by stroking her hair.
"Ready for the powwow tonight?" he asked her.
She perked and then nodded. "Fights." She grinned.
"Naughty, there won't be any fights. The Sept loves you now that you found their Breeders," I said and tucked a bit of hair behind her ear. She snickered and kissed me again.
"You taste like strawberries," I said suddenly. A mischievous grin spread across her lips. I quirked a brow and wondered what my meddlesome cat had been up to.
"Shawnee's gonna wear one of her dresses tonight, Red," Mal told her. I couldn't help but notice the affectionate welcome Mal gave Vanessa along with the sudden nickname he'd assigned her. I guessed giving nicknames was a family trait.
"I've never seen you in one," she said with a smile and caressed my cheek with the back of her hand.
I placed a gentle kiss on her wrist as I basked in the soothing glow that came with being surrounded by my mates. With Mal and Vanessa this close, my heart seemed full up and complete. I put my head down on Mal's shoulder and watched Vanessa as she purred contently. He rubbed my back and shared a glance with her just as Xany hopped into the room.
"Let's get ready, people! The fun starts in an hour!" she announced.
Caden walked in behind her, his chuckles just as boisterous. "She's clearly very excited," he said.
Mal laughed as I got out of his lap to stand. "She's right, I need to get ready," I said, and kissed him and Vanessa quickly. She went to follow me but I stopped her with a grin.
"Nuh uh, you have to wait here just like Mal." I wagged a finger at her. Xany giggled and bounced her way over to me then took my hand. Vanessa's lips curved into a frown, her bottom lip poking out in a pout. I wasn't about to give in.
Birthrite (Legacy Series Book 2) Page 23