by Tabby Storm
“Is it ruined?” Josie asked. “I can pay for the cleaning.”
“Nah, beer is a great leather tanner. It’ll just make it look more rocker now.”
Josie smiled.
“I’m ready for a beer now, actually.” Kyle said. “Will you join me?”
“I’m really not usually so clumsy,” Josie swore. “I mean, I don’t usually knock into people so much.”
Kyle smiled as he sipped the last of his pale ale. “Stop worrying about it, it’s fine.” He was leaning against the bar. His hair was starting to dry a little. He took a look at his phone and smiled at Josie. “I’m going to have to go in a minute.”
Josie was disappointed and had a hard time hiding it in her face. “Oh, okay.”
Her disappointment was not missed by Kyle. He smiled and looked at her with those beautiful eyes. His lashes were so thick Josie wondered if he wore mascara. He wouldn’t be the first guy she’d seen with mascara on. “I wish I had time for another beer, but I have to get to my show.”
“Show? Are you a magician or something?” Josie joked.
“Heh. I play guitar in the Bastard Plants. We’re playing a set tonight at Sam’s.”
“Cool, that’s neat.” Josie gushed and felt a blush rise in her cheeks again. “’Neat?’” What was WRONG with her? She remembered many nights at this club in her college years dancing; drinking and watching Maya hook up with people she’d been grinding with on the dance floor. Josie usually went home alone by choice, but there were a few memories that made her smile. She had not only heard of the Bastard Plants but had watched some of their YouTube videos. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t recognized him from the videos earlier.
“Yeah, well, we’ve been doing the same gigs for years now and I’m ready for us to get bigger.” Josie saw a look of frustration cross Kyle’s face.
“I’m sorry Josie, I’ve got to take off. It was really cool to run into you again. I’ll be on the bus tomorrow morning; maybe you’ll bump into me again.” Kyle grinned at her.
Josie smiled. “Thanks. I’ll try to be on my best behavior.”
“I hope not,” smiled Kyle, his eyes growing deeper brown as he gently touched Josie’s hand and walked away.
Maya approached Josie at the bar and whistled.
“Shit, honey. Be still my beating heart. Maybe I’ll start riding the bus again.”
“Maya, you hate the bus. Plus, you’d die if you couldn’t ride Thor every morning.”
“This is true, this is true,” she said and sipped her beer and studied her nails. Maya had a beat up fixie bike that she named Thor. She looked like a badass rocker chick on Thor with her heavy chain strapped across her shoulders, her ancient red Chrome bag covered with rock stickers and filled with expensive cameras. Maya still dressed like she did in college, and never had to worry about covering her collection of tattoos. She worked in an artistic field and no one cared how she dressed as long as her photographs were beautiful and she met deadlines.
Josie suddenly felt a pang of jealousy. Maya had been a bike messenger when they were at SFSU while Josie had worked as a preschool teacher on campus. Maya’s stories were much more interesting. Josie told stories about peed pants, toddlers biting each other, and planning for “learning experiences.” Maya told about having sweaty quickies up against the soda machine or the stock room floor while out on delivery. They had shared a house in the Sunset with four other girls during college. Everyone only had a tiny little place in the house to call her own, but it was the only way Josie could afford living away from home. Even with the six of them it was $500 a month each. But Josie had not wanted to live with her parents any more. She had moved out sophomore year when Maya begged her to move in when “crazy Agnes” moved out.
Maybe it is time to stop being such a task-master, Josie thought. She was always planning out what she needed to do next in her career, always dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s. And she was so tired of being sad and heartbroken over James. Maybe it was time to have a steamy story to tell over a beer. She thought of Kyle and how his eyes had bored into her as he left. She felt warm all over suddenly and her mind was made up.
Chapter 4
Maya paid the cab driver as Josie stepped on the sidewalk in front of the club Kyle was playing at. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She had vowed to be at home asleep by now. What kind of good decisions could be made after midnight when you were tipsy?
Maya stumbled over to her and murmured, “Erhmk. Whut now?”
Josie was starting to think this was a horrible idea. Maya had had more to drink than Josie had, and she was starting to teeter. “Maya, sweetie, would you mind if I did this by myself? I think I need to just talk to him alone.”
“Suhr honee, fiiiiine.”
Josie stepped over to the passenger side of the cab and asked the driver to wait a few minutes. She handed him a few bucks and told him she’d be right back.
“OK Miss, but I can’t wait out here all night babysitting your friend.
“I promise you won’t have to. Thanks.”
She eased Maya back into the seat and quickly turned around and walked into the club. She had no idea what she was doing. This was silly. Maybe Kyle was just a flirty guy that talked to all women this way. Maybe he was simply polite and his kindness to her was just in his nature and it didn’t mean that he was “into” her. Plus it was almost 12:00 am and she had to be at school in a few hours.
She considered turning around and running back to the cab with every step. She managed to talk the bouncer into letting her in without a cover because the last band was over for the night. She approached the stage and her face got hot. She could see Kyle from far back, looking amazing with his hair sweaty from all the lights, wearing his leather jacket that earlier she had poured beer all over. The house had turned on some 70’s funk and the band was packing up. Patrons were still drinking beer and talking. Kyle was turned and talking to the drummer about something. The lead singer was rolling up mic cables. Suddenly Kyle turned to sneeze and his eyes met Josie’s. Josie was sure his reaction was going to be surprise and wonder at why she was there. Instead he smiled a huge smile and jumped off the stage.
“Did you catch our show?!” Kyle asked breathlessly.
“Um, sorry, no. I just got here.”
“That’s a funny time to arrive for a show, when it’s over,” Kyle said with a laugh.
Josie nervously smiled. “I, uh, I wanted to say something to you.”
“You did, huh?” Kyle was teasing her.
“Yes. I’m sorry I spilled so much on you today.”
Kyle looked at his cell. “Well, technically it’s tomorrow now. You have a whole new day to spill on me.”
Josie was happy he was being silly, but also getting exasperated.
“Okay, look. I came here because my friend Maya talked me into it. Well really, she dared me,” Josie blurted.
“Are we in middle school?” Kyle joked.
Josie was losing patience.
“Look, I think you’re nice, slightly annoying, but nice. Will you meet me for coffee sometime? I-uh-just wanted to know.” Josie felt like an idiot. “’Nice?’” She could’ve just waited to run into him on the bus. San Francisco was a big city, but you still managed to run into the same damn people all the time.
Kyle just looked at her for a minute. She was mortified and started to leave. “Okay, this was a bad idea. Sorry. Um, thanks.”
Josie ran-walked toward the front door. The bouncer was smoking a cigarette outside. She stood in the doorway and took a deep breath. She took a step forward to leave and felt a hand on her shoulder.
“HEY, didn’t you hear me? Goodness, you’re always in such a hurry.” Kyle was standing there looking right at her with his hand on her shoulder. “Yes, of course I’d love to have coffee with you.”
Josie just stammered like a dork, “thank you” and started to walk away.
“Wait! Where? When?”
Josie’s face f
lushed and she thought for a moment. “Oh. Um, do you know The Grind on Divisadero?”
“Yep.” He wasn’t helping Josie at all in this conversation. Josie could see the drummer waiting for Kyle a few feet away. He turned to see.
Josie stammered, “How about there tomorrow afternoon at 5?”
“Ok Josie, see you then.” Kyle smiled at her and turned around.
Josie walked back to the cab to get Maya home. She felt successful but also a rush of embarrassment and anxiety. This was good; she was getting herself out there. And Kyle was interesting and very easy to look at. It was just coffee.
Josie smiled to herself as she leisurely walked to the bus the next morning. She had set her phone alarm and her clock radio, (back up security, always worked!) and had not had a repeat of the day before. She saw her bus coming 2 minutes after she arrived at the bus stop and suddenly got nervous. What if Kyle really did ride this bus every morning? Would she make an idiot of herself? Would she say something stupid? Josie had a talent for making herself anxious in social situations after the fact. During she did okay, even though sometimes she stammered and got embarrassed, but she could spend all evening fretting over something she said and how she may have been misunderstood.
She waited for a moment while an elderly woman with a walker got on the bus. Today Josie wore a pair of navy slacks, turquoise flats and a lavender short-sleeved sweater with a tailored jean jacket over it. It was her best kind of work outfit, business casual. Teachers were in this bizarre middle ground for their clothing choices. They needed to look professional at all times, but then there was the reality that they came in contact with lots of things that could make them dirty, like boogers, sand and paint. Dry cleaning was impractical.
The bus driver had just raised the bus back up and motioned Josie on. She stepped on the bus and walked toward the back, careful not to bump the elderly woman’s walker. She looked up and saw the seat she’d been next to Kyle in yesterday was free. And she saw that Kyle was not on the bus. She was surprised by how deeply disappointed she was. She would rather have seen him, no matter how awkward, than to not see him. That surge she got from the satisfaction of something happening that she’d predicted would happen was usually enough to help her feel more calm in the situation. As she slid into the seat she looked out the window and went to put her hand on the handle bar of the seat in front of her.
At first she didn’t recognize what she was looking at. But this was definitely her name. “JOSIE” was written in sharpie on the bar in front of her. She quickly moved her hand away, like she should not for some reason touch it. She looked all around her, had she missed Kyle on the bus? No, he was definitely not on the bus. She even leaned down and looked under the seats. The man behind her made a noise with his throat as if to say “knock it off.”
She turned her attention back to her name. She rubbed her finger over the E and noticed that it was still damp when some ink came off on her finger. She felt excited thinking that he must have been on the bus moments before she was and left this for her. Her face turned into a broad smile as the bus made its way down Divisadero. As it went by The Grind she smiled big, knowing that in a few hours she’d be sitting in there talking to Kyle.
Josie walked over to Jordan, one of the nine girls in her class. Jordan was looking nervous and was not in a group. Children were in small groups working on a project Josie had designed to help them build community and write their classroom constitution. Jordan had just joined this school as a 5th grader and didn’t have friends from the year before like many of her classmates did. Students always are a bit quiet and timid in the first few weeks of school, but Jordan being brand new made it even harder for her to work out social groups.
“Hi Jordan, what’s up? Do you need help getting started?”
“Ms. Caruthers, no one is letting me in their group.” Jordan twisted her hair with her fingers and looked down at her Toms covered in signatures and doodles. Josie thought she must have done that on the last day of school in June at her old school.
“Jordan, remember how we talked about finding groups yesterday? If you don’t have a group or partner, you raise your hand. Our rule is that no one is ever left out.”
“Oh. I forgot. But no one is letting me in.”
Josie reminded herself that the first month of school is like this. Students have a very hard time understanding new procedures and make lots of excuses for not understanding them, instead of just asking how and figuring it out. But Josie also viscerally remembered how challenging it was to be 10-13 years old, and she understood that Jordan had more at stake than just not being in a group.
“Let’s see, I’ll help you work this out.” Josie scanned the groups. Katie and Noah were working with Wyatt and Tucker really well. All of them seemed to have a job and were listening to each other. This would be a good group for Jordan; they’d help her feel included.
Josie leaned over to talk to Jordan. “Watch how I ask them if I can join, ok?” Jordan nodded nervously.
“Hi, Katie. How’s your group doing?”
“We’re almost ready to name our group, Ms. Caruthers. It’s either the Pie Puppets or Kevin.” Josie smiled, ah tweens. This was such a sweet age group.
“That’s great! I noticed how hard you were working. Jordan needs a group, and you all look like you’d be a great group to join. Is there a job she could do to help?”
Katie and Wyatt looked at each other. Wyatt was busy writing down data for their constitution. Tucker decorating their poster with markers while Noah was drawing a pie on the edge with a black pen.
“Oh yeah, of course. Jordan, we need help writing our constitution onto the poster. Can you help do that?
Jordan smiled huge. “Yeah, I like doing fancy letters.”
“Cool,” smiled Katie, and she made space for her at the table. Josie complimented the group again and thanked them for being accepting. She looked at Katie and winked.
Katie had been so poised and adult-like when they met yesterday in the gym. She came right up to Josie, stuck out her hand and said, “I’m Katie Jones. It’s really nice to meet you, Ms. Caruthers. I’m very interested in doing Biz Town this year and I hope to be Mayor.” Josie had smiled at this confident young woman, so different than herself at 10.
“I’m glad to meet you as well, Katie. I’m glad you’re excited about Biz Town! It’s great that you’re already making goals. We’ll be starting on our studies for it after Thanksgiving, but I have some things you can look at before then if you’d like.”
Katie beamed and said, “Sure, that’d be great.”
Now Josie could see Katie working democratically with four other students in her group, making gentle suggestions and listening closely to what people said. “Wow,” Josie thought. She really would make a good mayor. The rest of the groups were working smoothly enough and were on task. Josie smiled to herself. She looked at the clock and noticed it was 2:50. There was only about 10 minutes left to work on this today and then clean up would start. She went around giving all the groups a time check and reminding them that they’d be working on this all week.
Josie also started to feel a rise building in her stomach as she realized her time with Kyle was getting closer. She had been so busy she hadn’t thought about it much since school started. Now it was getting very close. She went to take a sip of her water bottle and closed her eyes for a quick second. “BREATHE,” she told herself. “Just breathe.”
Chapter 5
Josie looked at herself in her tiny purse mirror for the 15th time. She was on the bus headed to The Grind. She resisted the urge to call Maya yet again and share how terrified she was. She had been such a dweeb yesterday and even though Kyle seemed not to mind, she really did spill beer all over him and get mud on him. It was embarrassing. And he’d left her name on the bus somehow. What did that mean? She was nervous and very intrigued.
Josie’s nervousness disappeared when she saw Kyle sitting at a table in The Grind with his head leaned over D
ivergent and a sunflower resting on the seat across from him. Could he be more adorable? He reminded her of an overgrown kid for a minute. He was wearing a pair of faded jeans, a blue t-shirt with a Captain America shield on it and black converse. His floppy black hair was in his face again and he looked like he’d been reading for hours. His wrist was covered in leather bands and a chunky watch. A half-finished glass of iced tea was in front of him. Josie touched the chair across from him and leaned over. “Kyle? Hi.”
Kyle looked up and smiled big at her. “Sorry Josie! I’m so into this, I kind of got lost for a minute.”
“It’s a great book,” Josie smiled. “I adore how brave Tris is. I wish I could be that tough.”
“Oh, I bet you’re much tougher than you give yourself credit for, Josie. Oh goodness, sorry, please sit down. And this is for you.” With his huge beaming smile he handed her a small orange sunflower.
“Sunflowers are my favorite, thanks, how did you know?” Josie teased him. He smiled.
“So how was your day, Miss Teacher? Did you send anyone to the principal’s office?”
“Oh goodness, I should hope not! It’s only the second day. I had a great day. There are some pretty incredible kids in my class.” Josie thought of future Mayor/Leader of the free world Katie and smiled at how it had gone with Jordan today. “I have a lot of boys, 19 out of 28 in fact, but the class is pretty mellow so far. Sometimes that big an imbalance makes things tough.”
Kyle was listening to everything she said. He had this way of hanging on every word and really paying close attention. It was unnerving, as she was not used to anyone listening to her like this. James had always mostly listened, but he was pretty easily distracted by things in his peripheral vision and he got antsy in long talks. Kyle had this adorable little grin he made while he was listening to her, too. It was like he was just having the best time just listening. It made her happy and made her feel tingly. It was intoxicating to have someone be so present with you.