Once in the study, Tate tried to concentrate on a thick business report but soon gave up and went to stand by the window. His mind was on Gemma, and he needed to follow his thoughts or they would drive him insane. Just like the woman herself.
As much as he hated to admit it, he wanted her. He wanted her in a big way. And that’s what it came down to between them—the only thing between them.
Want.
A want like no other.
God, how did he continue to want a woman who’d used him like she had? And how could he exorcise her from his system now that she was a part of his life? By ignoring the wanting, that’s how. By refuting it every time it reared its head, like he had last night over dinner, and again this morning in the kitchen. He couldn’t forget seeing her kissing Drake two years ago. The memory was tattooed on his brain. Her physical attributes might temporarily block it out, but it always returned, full force. The future looked dark indeed.
It was all her fault, so why was he feeling rotten about it?
Women!
He loved his mother, but she had let his father down badly. And Gemma had let him down badly. He hadn’t learned to trust his mother again. He wasn’t sure he could learn to trust Gemma. Not for a long time, he decided, as he saw Gemma pushing Nathan’s stroller along the path toward the lake.
The urge to join them was strong. And it had nothing to do with those long legs of Gemma’s showcased by her slim slacks. Heaven help him if she decided to strip down to a swimsuit and use the pool. He knew every inch of her luscious body, remembered every taste of her delicious skin and the husky sounds she made beneath him, the heavenly feel of being inside her.
Remembering was suddenly too much.
He had to concentrate on other things. Things like Nathan. The child who was his son. The paternity test had only proven what he’d already known. He couldn’t even explain how he’d known the connection between him and Nathan was there.
He’d just known.
Just like he knew that if they were spending the week here, the child would need to be occupied. And what he needed to do was concentrate on Nathan’s needs and not his own.
Right.
Nathan couldn’t swim yet because of his ears, so a sandbox and some toy trucks sounded like just the ticket. A friend had bought their son one, and the boy had loved it.
After taking one more look to check that Gemma and Nathan were okay as they reached the lake, Tate went to his laptop and searched the internet for a local toy store. It was much more interesting than reading a report.
After Gemma had tidied up the kitchen, she’d changed Nathan into cute little jeans and a T-shirt. Next, sunscreen on them both, she got his stroller and headed out. Tate had insisted they bring the stroller, though she hadn’t thought she would need it. But now his reason became obvious. He hadn’t intended to spend more time with them—with her—than necessary, and had probably been trying to ease his conscience, figuring she at least wouldn’t have to carry Nathan around everywhere.
How caring of her new husband, she’d mused cynically.
Now, as she pushed Nathan’s stroller along a side path down to the lake, the sunshine melted her cynicism. It was so beautiful and peaceful out here, with a light spring breeze playing over the rolling countryside, making her feel as if she were walking in a private park.
The lake was even more breathtakingly gorgeous up close, partly surrounded by trees and with a gazebo close by. Along the water’s edge, patches of tall reeds partially hid nests of swans, while others quietly glided on the water, creating gentle ripples over the reflective depths.
Gemma decided to take Nathan out of his stroller and carry him to the water’s edge to show him the swans, when she heard a noise over in a group of trees. She twisted toward the sound, thinking it was Tate, her heart missing a beat. Only it wasn’t Tate. A young teenager came out of the shadows, walking his horse toward the lake.
He jolted when he saw her. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t know anyone else was here.”
She stared, not really sure what to say.
“I’m Rolly.” He pulled a face. “Roland, actually. My dad works for the people over the rise there. I help him out. They let me exercise their horses.”
He looked to be around eighteen and didn’t appear threatening, so Gemma relaxed a little. “I’m Gemma, and this is my son, Nathan.”
He nodded as his gaze slid to her son then back. “I’d heard there was a wedding here yesterday.” He glanced toward the stroller near the gazebo steps. “Tate’s not with you?”
She was immediately on her guard and realized that from here she couldn’t be seen from the house. The young man didn’t look dangerous, but who was to say this Rolly was who he said he was? He could be a reporter, and even if he wasn’t, she wasn’t about to say too much.
“He had to make a phone call, but he’ll be here shortly.”
All at once, he seemed to sense her nervousness. “In case you’re wondering, I’m allowed to bring the horses here to drink. Mr. Chandler said I could.”
“You mean Jonathan?” she said, thinking of Tate’s father.
“No, Nathaniel.” His expression clouded. “He was a nice old man. We used to play chess together sometimes when he was here.”
From all accounts, that sounded like something Tate’s grandfather would do. “I’m sure you’ll be welcome to keep on doing that.” It was the country way, after all.
He fell into a grin. “Thanks.”
She smiled back, touched to see a genuine smile for a change. The past two weeks had been all about putting on a brave face, or a cool face, when she felt nothing like that inside.
The horse wandered to the water’s edge and began to drink. “That’s a nice horse. He’s a lovely color.”
“He’s a young racehorse.”
“I don’t know much about horses except that they like to eat hay.”
Rolly chuckled. “Yeah, hay and other things. This guy has a particular sweet tooth. I give him an apple sometimes. Not often though.” He patted the horse’s side. “Do you ride?”
“No. I’ve been pretty busy.” She didn’t say she’d never ridden a horse in her life. As nice as he was being to her, she should keep her distance. “Well, I’d best go and see what’s keeping Tate. It was nice meeting you, Rolly.”
“You too, Gemma.” He hesitated. “I come down here most days around this time. In case you want some company.”
He seemed to understand more about her than she’d assumed. He was offering a hand of friendship. It was very generous of him, and she appreciated it.
She smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She went over to the stroller to strap Nathan back in. It only took a few moments. “Stay as long as you like,” she added as she straightened.
“Okay. Thanks again.”
Gemma headed back to the house with a lighter step. It was silly, but she really did feel as if she had made a friend, someone who had no real connection to the Chandlers and their condemnation. It was a pleasant relief, and one she wouldn’t spoil by mentioning it to Tate. He probably wouldn’t be interested anyway.
All was quiet as she stepped inside the kitchen, and she was surprised to see that an hour had passed. There was no sign of Tate, so she made herself a cup of coffee and gave Nathan a biscuit and a drink. They went into the sunroom, where he crawled around on the floor and played with a collection of small plastic containers she’d brought from the kitchen. The items kept him occupied for some time.
When he started to get tired, she carried him upstairs and put him to bed, taking the baby monitor with her downstairs. Now, alone, she finally had time to get her bearings. There were a variety of formal and informal living areas, a conservatory, a room with a pool table, another with a spa. Gemma wasn’t surprised Tate hadn’t mentioned the latter; they’d made full use of the spa in his penthouse two years ago.
Shying away from the memories, Gemma continued past the study door, now firmly closed, and headed back to the relaxed
warmth of the sunroom, where she sat on a recliner and read a magazine. After a while, the warm room made her feel drowsy. Soon she closed the pages and leaned her head back, shutting her eyes for a mere moment…
The next thing she knew, a warm hand on her shoulder shook her awake. Her eyelids flew open and air escaped her lungs as she looked straight into Tate’s blue eyes. His intense look made her wonder how long he’d been watching her. In that one split second, what they’d had between them came rushing back—the excitement, the adrenaline rush, the sweet torment of bringing each other to climax…
Her stomach gave a quiver as she hastily sat up. Thankfully he moved back, and the moment was lost.
Forever? She’d thought so, but now she wasn’t sure.
“It’s past twelve,” he said, his voice sounding slightly gruff.
She pushed to her feet and tidied her hair. “You want lunch, I suppose.”
He scowled. “Yes, but I’m not asking you to do it. You’re my wife now, Gemma, not my servant.”
She liked that he wasn’t taking advantage of their relationship, and an odd tenderness wove through her even as she chastised herself for being such a pushover. Good Lord. What was she thinking by offering to make him lunch? He had a perfectly good pair of hands.
Dream hands, in fact.
The golden touch.
Oh, yeah, how often she had succumbed to his touch.
She cleared her throat. “I’d better go check on Nathan. He should be awake soon.” Taking the baby monitor with her, she left the room.
When she went back downstairs with Nathan, Tate had laid out their lunch on the island in the center of the kitchen. Nathan’s high chair was already seated next to it.
“Why don’t you feed him, then we’ll eat,” Tate suggested, and she nodded, liking that he wanted his son’s needs met first.
Once that was done, Nathan was happy to play with a spoon while she and Tate ate their lunch of cold cuts and salad. Then Tate surprised her by saying, “By the way, I’ve got a delivery coming this afternoon.”
She lifted a brow. “A delivery?”
“For Nathan. He needs some toys.”
She frowned. “But he’s already got toys.”
“He doesn’t have an outside play area, so I’ve ordered one of those shell-shaped sandboxes, plus a bucket and spade, a toy wagon, a toy lawn mower and some other things he’ll enjoy.”
“Other things?” Just how much had he ordered?
“A plastic pit with balls and an activity center that will keep him busy. Those are for inside. There are a couple of other things, too.” He gave a slight shake of his head. “It’s amazing the toys available these days. Very educational, too. I’ve ordered two sets of everything. One for here and one for when we get back to the city.”
“Did you order the whole store?” she joked.
The corners of his mouth quirked upward. “Are you making fun of me?”
His affability was disconcerting, but she hid the feeling behind a small smile. “Never.”
His mouth twisted wryly. “You think it’s overkill, don’t you?”
“Well…yes. I think a little. He’s not even walking yet.”
“He will be soon though.” Tate’s brows drew together. “Won’t he?”
She nodded, endeared by his hesitation despite herself. “I’m told they usually start to walk about now, but every child is different. It could be a few more months,” she warned, so he didn’t get his expectations too high.
Tate took that in, then nodded. “He’ll be fine. As you say, he’ll do it in his own time.” For a moment his eyes rested on his son with pride. When he turned back to Gemma, he was all business again. “They probably won’t get here until around five. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get it any earlier.”
“When did you place the order?”
“Not long ago.”
And he expected it to be here in a few hours? It always amazed her how fast he could buy things. The world of the uber-rich was certainly different. Her own upbringing in a middle-class family didn’t come close to the privilege and entitlement afforded to a family like the Chandlers.
“I’ll see Dad about getting the pool fenced off, too,” Tate said, drawing her from her thoughts.
She tilted her head. “Will your parents mind about the play area?”
“Not at all. They’ve probably already thought of it. And they’ve said they wanted to put a childproof fence around the lake, remember? Anyway, it won’t be an issue until he’s walking.”
She loved that he was so protective of Nathan’s well-being.
After lunch, Tate went to clear the table, but she waved him aside. She needed something to do while he went back to his study. She wasn’t used to having time on her hands. She’d always been working, and even these past ten days had been full with rushing to get ready for the wedding. Now, she looked down the long stretch of the afternoon with only a toy delivery on the agenda.
Enough! she told herself as she cleaned up the kitchen while chatting to Nathan in his high chair. Spending time with her son was exactly what she’d been longing to do. Now she could do that. She wouldn’t waste a moment of it.
Once in the right frame of mind, the afternoon flew by, then just before five, the delivery van arrived. Tate told the man to drive around back, and Gemma let Nathan play on the floor of the sunroom as she watched Tate help unload a large plastic sandbox.
The rest of the items were soon dispensed with, and she watched a few minutes more as Tate asked questions about the other bits and pieces. She couldn’t help noticing that for someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Tate got on well with people of all levels, even as he kept a slight reserve that was inherent in his personality.
By the time she heard the van depart, Gemma was sitting on a stool in the kitchen feeding Nathan his dinner. A couple of minutes later, Tate appeared in the doorway.
“Oh.” He looked disappointed. “He’s eating.”
“Sorry, he usually eats around now, and I didn’t want to wait any longer.” She used to collect Nathan from the day-care center around four-thirty each afternoon, and he was more than ready for his dinner by the time they got home and she had prepared it. Then she used to have an hour of play and bath time with her son. It was wonderful to be able to do it all now without rushing.
Tate nodded. “Yes, you’re right.” Then he looked down at himself and grimaced at the black streaks on his trousers and marks on his shirt. “I need a shower.”
At the mention of water sluicing down his body, she felt her cheeks heat up. She looked away and continued feeding Nathan as she tried to push aside her memories of sharing a shower with Tate. “Um…we can have dinner around seven.” A few seconds lapsed, and she glanced up. He was giving her hot cheeks an intense look. “I’ll be bathing Nathan after this,” she added, trying to cover the awkward moment.
His expression changed. “I’d like to give him his bath, if that’s okay with you.”
She blinked in surprise. “You want to bathe Nathan?”
“Sure.” His jaw tightened. “I know I haven’t been around as much as I’d have liked these past ten days, but that’s going to change.”
Why? she wanted to ask, both of them knowing he could have spent more time with his son today, both of them knowing why he hadn’t. This was about avoiding spending too much time with her. Regret washed over her that Nathan had to unknowingly suffer because she and Tate had personal issues.
“Anyway,” Tate’s voice drew her back to him, “I got some last-minute things out of the way, so tomorrow Nathan and I will be able to spend more time together.”
Time with his son.
Not with his wife.
“I’m sure he’d like that,” she said, keeping her voice neutral.
There was a moment’s pause, as if Tate were trying to read more into her answer, but she kept her eyes averted, not letting him see anything on her face. They both knew the score.
“Maybe we’ll go fo
r a drive in the afternoon,” he said.
Her gaze snapped instantly to him. “You mean you and Nathan?”
He frowned. “You as well.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t expected that. A feeling of joy raced through her, even though she knew she shouldn’t get her hopes up.
A shadow crossed his face, then he pivoted away. “I’ll go take that shower now,” he muttered, and strode through the kitchen to the back stairs.
Gemma waited for him to disappear before she let the tension leave her body. She’d thought her question reasonable under the circumstances, yet it had seemed to surprise him. Needless to say, she couldn’t automatically assume she would be included in all the activities he shared with their son. Hadn’t she been preparing herself for that reality ever since he’d seen Nathan at the hospital?
But as she continued to feed Nathan, she realized there was something more significant going on here. Tate had willingly suggested they do something together that wasn’t for show. It was almost as if he’d offered to go for a drive with her, whether Nathan was with them or not. It was almost as if he wouldn’t mind spending time in her company. Could that mean he was beginning to trust her?
And why did that suddenly make her feel so good?
Tate stood under the shower, hoping the water would loosen the knot in his gut. Did Gemma really think he would leave her at home tomorrow and take off with Nathan by himself? How could she think she wasn’t invited? She was the mother of his son, for heaven’s sake. He wouldn’t leave her behind. It wouldn’t look right. She was his wife now, and they had to act their parts.
The truth was that it wouldn’t be right to leave her at home. Just what sort of person did she think he was? He winced. Okay, so he knew, but despite remembering their breakup, he only had to look into her blue eyes to feel like a heel.
He could handle her anger. He could even handle her hurt. She had brought all this on herself. But sometimes he saw more in those enticing depths.
The memory of what he’d once felt for her shook him up. Why this particular woman got to him, he didn’t know. He wished to hell he could ignore his desire for her, but he couldn’t. In the meantime there was only one thing for it.
Secret Son, Convenient Wife Page 6