by Tia Siren
“It’s still in the works,” I replied, not wanting to even hint about the treatment center with my mother away in one. That was still out of the news and we all preferred to keep it that way.
I escaped without her finding anything out, but not before her heavy flirting began. She was a pretty girl and that sort of thing used to tempt me, but now I just wanted to be home. I grabbed some of Brea’s favorite pastries on the way out and left the city behind with relief. I used to thrive on the constant buzz of this city. I knew all it had to offer me. Looking back, most of that stuff was empty now. The women and the parties hadn’t done a damn thing for me in the end.
Getting home to Brea and Elle was more fulfilling than anything else. I knew I felt chaotic and irritable due to a lack of sleep. I just wanted to be home, surrounded by trees and the ocean, holding my daughter and giving Brea a break. She was going to push herself because that was who she was, and I wouldn’t allow it. She deserved better.
I spoke to some contractors on the drive, surprised by how fast they called back. After making mental notes as I spoke to each of them, I knew who I was going to go with. I would text Dean when I arrived home and tell him to draw up the contracts. I needed professionals who knew what they were doing. This had to be perfect. With the amount of money I’d just been handed, there was no room for failure. I wanted people to get support and help the first time around to avoid further pain. I wanted to bring families closer together through the recovery process.
Brea’s father might have still been alive if this had existed for him, and I could have gotten back years of happiness with Mom.
I pulled into town and drove to the house, still in shock that it was ours. I parked in the large garage and made my way inside to see Brea sitting with Elle on the couch. She talked softly to her, making faces. I smiled as I watched her and felt something surge through me that made me hold on to the wall.
“Hey,” I greeted her. She turned to smile at me. “I brought you something from the city.”
Brea’s eyes lit up as she recognized the bag.
“Oh my god! Thank you. We haven’t had a lot of time to find new favorite places around here, have we?”
“We will. Want a break?” I asked. She grinned and moved up for the bag. I heard her in the kitchen as I picked up my daughter, seeing the contentment on her face that showed she’d just been fed.
“The investors ate it up. I think we’re going to break ground soon.”
“That’s amazing,” she told me as she brought a Danish in on a plate with some water. I told her how I wanted it to look. She smiled wistfully and sat down.
“I wish Dad were still here. I wish he could go to something like that.” Her voice was sad as she spoke, and I nodded.
“I know. I thought of that myself,” I responded. She shrugged.
“It’s just good that it’s happening now. This will be amazing.” Her bright smile returned, and she took a bite, moaning with pleasure. “Oh, my God. These are so good. I think I’ve forgotten how to eat.”
“I’ll remind you. This baby needs to eat,” I joked as I glanced out the windows. “If you want to take a walk, go for it. I think she’s good for a while. You can think over what you want to do with your share of the inheritance since Dad paid your loans for you.”
“Oh, God,” Brea said, lifting her hands to her face. “That was so kind. I can’t believe they’re gone. I can finally breathe. I can think about a future.” Tears coursed down her cheeks, and she closed her eyes. “Damn hormones. I just can’t stop crying.”
I couldn’t help but think about how much I loved Brea and how she wore her heart on her sleeve as she regained her composure enough to take a walk. I looked down at Elle and watched her eyes flutter closed as I shook my head.
“Of course you sleep now.” I pressed a kiss to her hair and held her against my white shirt, closing my eyes too.
CHAPTER 22
Brea
I had to go to the city for my six-week checkup, and I took the SUV we had purchased a week ago. Both Ryan and I had to go to New York from time to time, but I was nervous as I drove along with Elle sleeping in the back. I knew I was healthy, and my body felt flushed as I realized what that meant.
We could finally have sex again. Things had been building between us over the last few weeks with every look and touch. I pleasured him often to keep Ryan happy and because I wanted to. I was falling harder for him every day now that we were living together. I loved feeling close to him.
I went in when my name was called, and they all made a proper fuss over Elle as she slept in her car seat. I was nervous during my checkup and surprised by how invasive it felt after giving birth.
“You are cleared for take-off. Everything healed up just fine, Brea. Do you want me to get you on any kind of birth control? Sometimes breastfeeding isn’t as effective as moms want it to be.”
“I guess I’ll do the pill for a while.” I didn’t want another baby. We didn’t want another baby.
“Perfect. I’ll send that to the pharmacy. Use backup for the first month, just in case. I am also giving you the full year since you drive quite a way into the city now. How is life out in paradise?”
I thought about my answer for a moment. The house was amazing and in one of the most gorgeous places I’d ever seen. There was nothing to complain about in my life. I smiled.
“It’s so peaceful compared to this. I have to pinch myself every morning.”
“You have to do that with an infant no matter where you live. You’re always tired,” she joked as she looked me over. “You seem to be adjusting well, though. How’s Daddy?
“He’s working on a new business venture, so he’s been pretty busy. He adores her though. It’s so sweet.” I smiled as I thought about when I saw him with Elle.
“It makes you fall in love with him even more, doesn’t it?” She gave me a knowing look, and I blushed. Love? We hadn’t ever talked about that.
“Yeah, something like that,” I responded.
We finished and I headed over to the pharmacy to grab my prescription. I left the hospital with Elle sleeping in her seat in her stroller and felt some energy run through me. I’d been cooped up at the house a lot lately, and I glanced down the street as I calculated how far the coffee shop was. I had tucked my old uniform into my bag this morning in case I felt up to stopping in, and now I did. I started to push Elle as I looked around, taking in the noise of the city and all the people. I missed it in some ways, but nothing beat the sound of the ocean waves at night. I’d even found some cute places to hang out in town as Elle grew older.
In terms of New York, the coffee shop was only about four blocks away. I walked through the door, and Stacy squealed as she came running around the counter to give me a hug. I’d been cleared on maternity leave but chosen to quit a month into it when I realized I lived so far and Ryan would be so busy. It just made sense.
“She is so pretty,” Stacy gushed as she looked at Elle with stars in her eyes, making me laugh.
“It’s hardcore, girl. Trust me on that one.” Some of the others waved to me, and the manager came around to congratulate me and look at Elle. I handed her my uniform, and she took it and gave me a hug.
“It’s good to see you so happy, Brea. You worked so hard here even when you were toward the end with her. Is it true that you went into labor after working a double?” Molly asked. I giggled and nodded. That was going to be a story to tell Elle later since it had worked out so well, but it had been terrifying in the moment. “I am so glad that it worked out.”
“Me too. Early babies are scary, but she was ready. She’s thriving now.” I looked down at Elle and smiled, taking in her darker hair.
Molly told me that anything I wanted was on the house as someone called her name from the back. I thanked her with a smile. I went over to the counter and looked at everything with a bittersweet smile, knowing I’d moved on now. I was happy to come back any chance I got. I could have both now. Stacy popped ba
ck up to ask me what I wanted. I ordered a blended chai tea latte and one of the cookies I’d eaten so often during my pregnancy.
I sent Lucy a text, and she came in just as I was finishing my visit. She was grinning as she walked over to us. The staff came out to talk when they had breaks, and I loved it, but I wanted time with my best friend. She picked up Elle and cooed at her as Elle stared at her aunt with dark blue eyes, making Stacy pout. Elle had been sleeping up until now, and I knew she would be hungry soon. I finished the cookie and looked at Lucy. She sensed my urgency.
“Want to leave?”
“She’ll be hungry soon,” I said. I realized I hadn’t fed her out of the house yet. I was prepared, but nervous. Lucy stood up and held Elle to her chest. I called out that I’d be back soon and hugged Stacy one more time.
“I’m so happy for you,” she told me, and I smiled at her. Lucy and I left and walked the block to her apartment as we talked about Elle and all the changes in my life.
“How’s Ryan?” she asked, and I frowned at her door.
“He’s getting the center built. It’s going to be amazing and he is so hands on,” I told her. Lucy nodded.
“He is impressing everyone,” Lucy told me proudly as I pushed the stroller and diaper bag against the wall. Elle started to fuss. Lucy handed the baby over once I was free. Elle latched on hard, and I widened my eyes. She was hungrier than usual.
“I am proud of Ryan, Lucy. I am. I just never see him. I am so caught up with Elle and collapse at the end of the day. I love my life, but I never see him, and when I do it’s in bits and pieces of him being adorable with Elle. I suppose maybe that is how it should be. It is what we arranged, right?” I leaned back, holding Elle securely in my arms.
“I think things changed, no?” Lucy asked as she got me water from the kitchen. “This is so much more now, Brea.”
“Maybe for me. Maybe my hormones are still on the fritz and I’m just daydreaming about our life becoming a romance novel.” I sighed as I sipped the water. “I think I’m in love with him, Lucy.”
“How could you not be? I have never seen him make this kind of effort with anyone before, Brea. That house blew my mind when I first walked in to look around. The fact that he bought it on vacation with you and surprised you speaks volumes about my cousin.” She sat down with the coffee she’d bought at the shop. “He loves you. He might just be figuring that out, but he does. There’s no doubt. I think you are both a little gun shy with the big words. You want them to be real. That’s good. I think too many women have told Ryan that they love him without knowing shit about him other than who his family is.”
“Does he miss that? The women?” I asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment.
“No. He was bitching to me about this woman at the bank recently. Those days are over,” Lucy assured me as insecurity washed through me.
“I went to the doctor. We can start having sex again. Do you think he’ll want to?” I asked. Lucy laughed.
“I’m certain of it. What are you going to do about that?” she teased me, and I shrugged.
“He’s going to be in the city late tonight, so probably nothing.” I thought ahead and decided to do something special tomorrow. “I don’t want to keep drifting apart. I’ll do something for him tomorrow.”
“How about you get Mike over there with Elle this weekend and we double date Greenwich style? Dinner and drinks…for everyone but you?” Lucy finished slowly, and I chuckled. “And Ryan. We can celebrate everything with sparkling water.” I finished the sentence with cider but remained quiet. “Do you think he’ll want to? He was so mad at Lewis, but we’re doing okay. I swear.”
“I can talk to him.” I still didn’t trust Lewis with myself or Lucy, but I had to trust her instincts. I missed hanging out with Lucy and thought we could all get along for one evening. Elle dropped away from me and I bounced a burp out of her before leaving her on my chest to sleep.
Lucy showed me some of her new paintings as we kept talking and made salads for lunch. I found out that an artist friend of hers had taken over my old apartment. It made me think of my new life and everything I’d left behind in the city. I was sad and lonely in so many ways, filled with fear of the future. I wanted to laugh when I realized it was still a bit lonely at times and instead stabbed a piece of lettuce with my fork.
We passed Elle back and forth throughout the day as we talked, and it felt like the old days to me. I missed them. I was happy now, but when I’d been here, I had just walked a few blocks from my house to visit Lucy and get caught up in her world.
I fed Elle for the last time before going home. Lucy walked me to my car since she was meeting Lewis for dinner. I waved to her when I was inside, calling through the window that I would talk to Ryan soon and that I loved and missed her. I thought all about the city as I drove, picturing her party like a movie in my head. I saw Ryan standing there and thought about how I’d been smitten from the first shared glance. I had wanted him like no man before, and the pieces had fallen into place as we’d continued to see one another.
Now his beautiful daughter was in the back seat of my car and I missed him more than ever. The drive home was uneventful, and I parked in the garage before taking Elle in and giving her a bath.
I watched some television in the bedroom with the windows open once she was fed and sleeping again. I hadn’t gotten a chance to go to the beach today, so I settled for the salty breeze as I stared at the screen and thought about sex. I thought about how much I wanted it and the connection to Ryan as I struggled to stay awake.
I woke up for Elle’s first feeding and saw that Ryan had fallen asleep on the couch in front of his computer. I sighed and got some water before walking back upstairs to get some more sleep.
Was it bad to kind of resent the center or at least the time it was taking away from me? I checked on Elle and curled up in bed as my thoughts raced. I stared at the moon over the water. I was tired and would fall asleep soon enough, but for now I wanted this moment.
CHAPTER 23
Ryan
I woke up on the couch and cursed softly as I looked around. I’d meant to get upstairs to Brea last night but had to deal with a few last-minute emails. I’d fallen asleep with the computer still on. It was dead now. I rocked my head back and forth to wake up, knowing I had to head back into the city again today.
I saw that Brea was hurt by my long absences. I hadn’t intended for this to happen, but I needed to make sure everything was perfect before I handed my dream over to the staff I was already interviewing.
I made coffee and went upstairs to see my girls sleeping before I took a shower and dressed in a suit for my meetings today. It was funny that I had dreamed about this center off and on for years and had it now but just wanted to be home more. I had more than just an inheritance and a baby. I had a life I was missing out on every fucking day, and it was one that I wanted now. I came out of the bathroom to see Brea feeding Elle. She looked at me with a passing hungry gaze. She looked beautiful this morning, and I smiled at her. I wanted to find a way to let her know I hadn’t forgotten about her, that I still wanted her.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she said softly as she shifted her eyes to the windows. “How is everything going with the center?”
“Great,” I shot back, and she widened her eyes. I knelt on the bed and kissed her softly. She sighed and moaned into my mouth. “I’ll be home for dinner tonight and I am all yours.” I brushed my lips against hers as I felt the sexual need fill the room between us. Groaning, I pulled away. “Fuck, Brea. I have to get into the city, but I’ll be home by five. I swear on my life.” I looked at her and breathed in deeply. “I miss you both so much.”
I leaned down to kiss Elle’s hair and then stood to drape a tie around my neck. Brea watched as I finished dressing, and I took Elle from her when she stood to use the bathroom. I stared into Elle’s sweet face. She was starting to look a lot like Brea and had the prettiest blue eyes. “I miss you too, Princess El
le.” She was growing fast, and I blinked as sadness filled me for a moment before Brea returned, wrapped in a light pink robe.
“I’ll make us dinner tonight. Bring some cider home.” Brea smiled at me as I looked at her in understanding and nodded. We all walked downstairs, and I headed to the garage while she went into the kitchen to make some food with Elle held securely in one arm. My cock was hard in my pants as I backed out of the driveway. I wanted her so badly, I cursed my life. Deep down, I knew it was amazing, but I just needed more of Brea. She’d been wonderful to me during the last several weeks, but I wanted her wrapped around me the way she always was, making me feel safe in our little bubble. I wanted her naked and spread out for me so I could kiss her full breasts and her soft belly and between her legs.
Jesus. I braked hard at the last light heading out of town and hit the steering wheel. I got to the center and checked out what was being done today before I had meetings with some investors to show them the progress of the building. It was a necessary evil that kept this project going. The day seemed to drag as we talked about everything and I showed them graphs and estimates. We discussed finishing dates as they nodded and asked me even more questions.
Fuck me. It was four o'clock when I picked up the aforementioned cider, a bouquet of pink roses, and Brea’s favorite dessert. I hit the road and tried to stay calm through the thick traffic. My woman was waiting for me and I couldn’t wait to feel her underneath me, though there were more critical things to take care of before that. We needed to eat as a family and converse for more than ten minutes at a time. We needed to laugh and cuddle so I could assure Brea she was still important to me.
I loved her, but I hadn’t told her yet. After everything we’d been through together, I wanted the moment to be special. She appreciated everything I did for her, but she needed to hear the words.