by Emily Minton
She shrugs, as if me taking her against the wall and calling her a whore isn’t a big deal, and hitting her is an everyday occurrence. “It’s over and done with. Can’t change it now, so there’s no point in hashing it out all over again. “
She may act like it’s nothing, but the catch in her voice tells me what I did hurt her deeply. “If I could take it back, I would.”
Her eyes narrow, shooting daggers at me. “What part would you take back? Calling me a whore, or fucking me like I was nothing more than some bitch in heat?”
“Daisy...” I start, but she cuts me off.
“You wanted to hurt me, and you did. Job well done. You should proud of yourself.”
She’s right. I did try to hurt her, not physically, but definitely emotionally. I ended up causing her pain both ways though. “If I’d known you were a virgin, it would’ve been different.” If I hadn’t listened to Leah’s bitch ass, I would’ve been begging Daisy for forgiveness, not fucking her like a seasoned whore.
“It doesn’t matter. Like I said, it’s over now. You can apologize all day, and it won’t change a damn thing.”
Not knowing what to say, I look to the floor. I know words can’t make this better—nothing can.
“If that’s all, can you please leave? I really want to get back to bed,” she says, standing up from the couch.
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I’ve never been sorrier in my whole life. Please don’t hate me, Little Flower. I need you to forgive me,” I beg, my voice cracking. I have never begged for anything, but I would get on my knees and beg her if it would fix this mess I’ve made.
“There’s nothing to forgive. I let it happen. You didn’t force me, so you can clear your conscious and move on.”
I stalk across the room, stopping just inches from her. “No, there is more, and you know it.”
I hate to even mention it, not wanting to face the truth of what I’ve become. I have to know though. I just have to.
“No, there’s not.”
“What about Maker’s party?” I ask, finally growing the balls to find out the truth of what happened that night.
Her body goes taut, telling me the answer without words. I feel my stomach start to roll as I envision myself hurting her. My God, I’m a monster, just like Father. “I’m so sorry that I hit you. Fuck, I’m sorry for everything. God, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just keep fuckin’ up, over and over again.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve done a lot of shit to me, but you’ve never hit me.”
Relief courses through my veins as I absorb her words. “They said I hit you, split your mouth open and bruised your face.”
I’m so relieved that I nearly miss her flinch, but I still see it and know she’s hiding something. “How did you get hurt?”
She licks her lips before replying. “I fell.”
I can tell by her hesitation that she’s not telling the truth. I hurt her. I fuckin’ hurt the woman I love. “Don’t lie to me. Tell me what the hell happened to you.”
“You were drunk, really drunk. You stumbled into me, and I fell on the floor.” She can’t meet my eyes, so I know there’s more, but it’s enough to prove what a bastard I am.
“Fuck!” I shout as the impact of her words hit me. Wayne and Holt were right. I hurt Daisy. I hurt her the same way my father hurt us.
She shakes her head. “You didn’t hit me,” she whispers.
Again, I can tell she’s holding back. I may not have raised my fist to her, but I hurt her just the same. “It doesn’t matter how it happened.”
“You didn’t mean too. I don’t think you even realized I fell.”
In other words, I left her lying on the floor. “So I just left you there, hurt and bleeding?”
She doesn’t reply, but her silence is answer enough. It also makes me ask myself if there is more she isn’t telling me. Did I hit her? Was it more than her just falling? That makes my decision easy; I can’t be with Daisy. I can’t take that chance. At least, I will have the club. “You deserve better than me.”
“Preach, you didn’t mean...” she whispers, but I stop her before she can say more.
“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare make an excuse for what I did,” I say, stepping away from her. “No one, and I mean no fuckin’ one, should ever treat you the way I did.”
With those words, I turn and damn near run to the door. Right before walking out, I look over my shoulder. “I love you, Little Flower. I love you enough to stay the fuck away from you.”
DAISY
As soon as I hear Preach’s bike pull out of the drive, I rush to the bathroom. Seconds later, my head’s hanging over the toilet, while my body shakes with the force of spasm after spasm. By the time the rest of last night’s dinner is gone, I don’t have the strength to move, so I lean my head on the side of the tub and let my tears fall.
After what seems like forever, I wipe the back of my hand over my mouth and slowly crawl from the floor. Grabbing the mouthwash, I can’t avoid my reflection in the mirror. I look like shit. The dark circles under my eyes don’t surprise me, but the hollowness in my cheekbones does. I swear I’ve lost ten pounds in the last week. I didn’t weigh much anyway, so I can’t afford to lose anymore, but I guess I should have expected it. When you’re sick every damn day, you’re gonna lose a little weight.
I dry my hands and open the bathroom door. I take a step back when I see my mom standing in the middle of the room. “What are you doing in my apartment?”
“Your apartment is actually my garage, so I’ll come in here anytime I want to,” she says with a sneer.
“Whatever,” I say, walking out the bathroom. I walk passed her and make my way to the couch. “What do you want?”
“Why was Preach here?”
“That’s none of your business,” I say with as much attitude as I can muster.
She mumbles under her breath, then says, “You better not be pregnant.”
The quick subject change has me jerking my eyes to her. My heart starts to pound in fear that she’s figured out my secret. She couldn’t possibly know. I just found out this morning. “What are you talking about?”
She motions toward the bathroom. “My bedroom is on the other side of that wall. I’ve heard you getting sick for the last twenty minutes.”
I don’t say anything at first. I’m too busy trying to come up with a convincing lie. Finally, I blurt out a partial truth, “I had Mexican food for dinner last night. Guess it made me sick to my stomach.”
“How about all the other times I’ve heard you puking your guts out? I’m pretty sure you’ve been sick every day for a week.”
I shrug and tell another lie. “Some of the girls at The Kitty Kat have been sick, so I must have picked something up from them.”
“Uhm huh, I bet,” she mumbles. “If I was you, I’d get to the clinic. The longer you wait, the harder it gets.”
“The harder what gets?”
She looks at me as if I’m stupid. It’s a look she wears most of the time around me. “It’s easier to get rid of them when you’re not that far along. If you wait, you’ll cramp more. At least, I did.”
My mouth drops open when her words finally make their way through my muddled brain. “You had an abortion,” I say in complete shock.
She laughs off my surprise. “I’ve had a few. After what you did to my body, I wasn’t going to go through that again.”
Her words infuriate me. Here she is talking about getting rid of my baby, her grandchild, like it’s a piece of trash. I may have just found out, but I loved the baby the minute the plus sign showed up on the pregnancy test. To hear her talk about having an abortion makes me want to throw up again. As much as I want to scream at her, and tell her how much of a bitch she is, I bite my tongue and lie again. “I told you, the Mexican food just didn’t agree with me.”
When I first missed my period, I didn’t think much about it. I’m usually pretty regular, but I know a lot of women that aren’t. It didn’t even
hit me when I first started getting sick, but after the third day, I really began to wonder if something else was going on. With three positive pregnancy tests, I now know for a fact that condoms don’t always work.
She walks closer to me and places her hands on her hips. “Say whatever you want, Daisy, but I know you’re pregnant. If you don’t get rid of it, you’ll be out on your ass. I’m not having a screaming brat in my house. One was enough for me.”
I jump off the couch, my anger coming off me in waves. “You want me out? Fine, I’ll get out. I’ll move into the club apartments today, and then you’ll have to take care of Dad all by yourself.”
She has the audacity to laugh again. “You’ll keep taking care of him, whether you live here or not. If you don’t, your dad will be heading back to his mother’s house. I refuse to play nursemaid for him.”
“You can’t do that. This is his house. You even try it, and you’ll be out on your ass.” I know it’s an empty threat, but it’s all I’ve got.
She shrugs, and an evil smile crosses her face. “Doubt it. I’ll just find some guy that will take me in. Maybe I’ll talk to Preach. I’m sure he’d share his room at the club with me.”
I have to bite my tongue to keep from screaming for her to stay away from him. I watch her walk away, so angry I can hardly keep my mouth shut, but then I think on it and start to laugh. Speaking to an empty room, I say, “You do that, Mom. It would be kind of weird when Preach has to explain to his child why he was sharing a bed with his or her grandmother.”
Chapter Eleven
PREACH
I’m sitting on the couch, nursing my beer, when Rum walks into the common room. As soon as I lay eyes on him, I know something’s up. He has a shit-eating grin spread across his face, and he’s coming straight for me.
“Hey, man. Heard you like oranges,” he says with a snicker as he plops down on the couch.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
He shrugs, still smiling. “Heard you liked to eat oranges.”
“Again, what the fuck are you talking about?”
He chuckles, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “One of the bitches from The Kitty Kat called. Guess Daisy heard you had a fondness for oranges. The bitch tried to stick one up her snatch in the hopes that you’d come to her for a snack.”
What the hell? Why would she do something so damn stupid?
“Don’t fuckin’ call her a bitch,” I mumble, sending my fist into his gut before I stand up and walk toward the door.
I hear his stupid ass laughing, but I don’t stop. I can adjust his attitude later. Right now, I need to get to Daisy. I haven’t talked to her in two weeks, not since the day I said goodbye. I planned to keep my distance, but I’ve been hearing shit, and none of it is good.
First, Ice comes to me and says that Daisy’s crying all the damn time. She knew it was because of me, and she wanted me to fix the problem. I let her know real quick that there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do. Then, Leah told me about Daisy fucking one of the brothers. Knowing Leah, it’s probably a lie, but it still pissed me way the fuck off. Yesterday, Reese asked me if I knew Daisy had been sick. He says she’s lost weight and is still feeling like crap. I wanted to check on her so fuckin’ bad, but I ended up passed out in my room instead.
Sticking an orange up her twat is the last fuckin’ straw. If she’s trying to get my attention, she’s got it.
***
Twenty minutes later, I roll into her driveway and swing my leg off the bike. I know I shouldn’t be here, but I ain’t got a choice. She’s been texting me for the last month, saying we need to talk, and I’ve done everything I can to ignore her. Spent most of my time trying to drink the memory of what I did away, the rest trying to fuck her out of my mind with any willing pussy around. Neither vice helped.
As soon as I reach her door, I start to bang on it. I hear her moving around in there, but she doesn’t come to the door, so I pound harder. “Open the fuckin’ door, Daisy.”
When it finally opens, what I see damn near sends me to the ground. She looks like she got hit by a train. There are dark circles surrounding her beautiful blue eyes, and her already small body is damn near skin and bones. “What the fuck happened to you?”
She scrunches up her nose before replying, “Nice to see you too, Garrett.”
I ignore her smart ass greating and walk past her. “We need to talk.”
She slams the door and rushes past me to sit on the couch. “I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me for almost a month, but you’ve ignored me. What changed?”
I walk over to her, folding my arms across my chest. “You stuck a fuckin’ orange up your cunt to get my attention. That’s what changed.”
A look of pure confusion crosses her face. “What?”
“You heard me. Why the hell would you do something so idiotic?”
“Garrett, I have no damn idea what you’re talking about.”
“Rum said you stuck an orange up your snatch, because of me,” I say, beginning to doubt what I was told. This is Daisy, my Little Flower. She’s one of the smartest women I know, also one of the shyest. How the fuck she gets on the stage and takes her clothes off, I’ll never know. Even so, I can’t see her doing this shit.
“Who the hell told Rum that?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
She looks up at me; anger and disappointment distorting her gorgeous features. “Why would you believe I’d do something so stupid?”
I don’t get a chance to respond before she pulls out her phone and puts it to her ear. There’s a moment of hesitation before she starts to talk. “You can’t get him on your own, so you have to go around making stupid shit up about me?”
Another hesitation, and then she starts to scream. “No, you’re wrong. He’s not yours. Haven’t you figured out by now that he doesn’t belong to anyone?”
I know she’s talking about me, and I know who she’s talking to. I should’ve realized Leah started this shit, but the truth is I wanted an excuse to see Daisy. Looks like I jumped on the wrong one.
She’s quiet for a second, then starts talking in a voice filled with hate. “You can screw him all you want, but if you ever open your mouth about me again, I will kick your stupid ass. I may be small, but I grew up with Lula as a mom. I learned a few tricks. I will take your ass out, Leah. That’s a promise”
I have never heard Daisy speak like that, and I can’t keep the smile off my face. Finally, she’s learning to take up for herself. It’s about fuckin’ time.
She pulls the phone from her ear and ends the call. When she looks up at me, I can still see the anger in her eyes. “I would never do something as stupid as that. The fact that you would even believe that shit for two seconds shows just how little you know me. What the hell was all that time we spent together about? Were you just playing a game with me?”
I shake my head and start to respond, but she cuts me off. “Don’t even answer that. You already proved it was a game. You thought you could just string poor little Daisy along, tell me you love me then walk away, but that wasn’t enough. You had to screw me and call me a whore, just had to seal the deal. Shit, Garrett, what else do you want from me?”
Fuck! Her anger is directed at me now. I know I deserve it, but that’s not how I wanted this conversation to go. I didn’t really know what was going to happen, but her screaming at me was not it. “Daisy, you don’t understand. I would do anything to change what happened.”
She looks me straight in the eyes, her disgust at the situation clear to see. “Just get out. Just get the hell out.”
I start to say more, but she walks to the door and swings it open. “This is not the clubhouse or The Kitty Kat. This is my home, and I want you to leave right now.”
I run my hands through my hair, fighting the urge to grab her. “Daisy, please just listen to me.”
“Get the hell out!” she shouts, tears starting to make their way down her cheeks.
I hate to see her cry, hate knowing that I have been the cause of so many of her tears. Making my way out the door, I whisper, “Love you, Little Flower.”
I hear the door slam behind me before I even make it to the driveway. I’ve about made it to my bike when I hear footsteps running toward me. Turning around, expecting to see Daisy, I see fuckin’ Lula heading my way instead. She stops as soon as she reaches my side, placing a hand on her hip.
“You’re supposed to stay away from Daisy. If I catch you here again, I’ll tell my dad,” she threatens.
“I had to talk to her.”
“If I see you anywhere near her again, you’re gonna lose your cut.”
I have to fist my hands to keep from wrapping them around her throat. “You know, bitch, I could just kill your ass, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about you saying shit.”
The skank has the audacity to laugh. “You could, but then you know for sure you’d lose your cut. I’m a member’s daughter. I’m untouchable.”
“Fuck you,” I mumble as I swing my leg over my bike.
“That’s sounds like a good idea to me. If you fuck me, I’ll make sure that Dad thinks it was all just a mistake. I’ll tell him that I misunderstood, that you would never hurt Daisy. I’ll make him believe you would be good for Daisy. I’ll even talk her into taking your brand.”
I shudder with revulsion. No fuckin’ way would I ever have my dick anywhere near this bitch. “Not gonna happen.”
“If you want Daisy so bad, you’ll do whatever I say.”
I have to shake my head at her stupidity. “Do you really think Daisy would want me after I had my cock in you?”
She shrugs. “She’s used to my hand me downs.”
I stare at her for a second, giving her a chance to see my hatred for her, before I start my bike and ride away.
DAISY
Preach’s whispered words were barely audible, but I heard them all the same. I don’t know why he would say he loves me when all he’s done is treat me like crap. Knowing that he believed Leah’s shit kills me. Even though it has been three years since we were together, he should know better.