by Tami Veldura
LEXI WAS overjoyed at the holiday festival. Scott carried her on his shoulders, gripping her legs tightly, so she could look around at everything. Her tiny hands fisted in his hair for balance as she twisted and turned to take in the sights. Booths and streamers stretched down the central plaza from Main to Fifth. Red, green, white, silver—the entire breezeway glittered with pine and holly decorations both real and fake. Scott had parked just off Fifth so he could stroll through the entire party on their way to the prize at the end. The tree—and Brennan—waited for them by the fountain.
Scott took a deep breath of cinnamon popcorn and sweet candies. An entire row of booths sported classic faire foods with a holiday twist. A woman in a Mrs. Claus outfit twirled by with a tray of peppermint samples. Scott tried one labeled honey and was pleased with the subtle flavor. Lexi reached down for the colorful candies, “Aan!”
“You want one too, baby?” Mrs. Claus asked. Before Scott could stop her, she’d plucked one off the tray and pressed it into Lexi’s grasping hand.
Lexi shoved it in her mouth, and a second later, Scott felt a telltale plop on the top of his head. “Eew!”
“Yeah, eew is right,” Scott agreed. He fished the candy out of his hair.
“Oh, goodness,” said Mrs. Claus. Then she twirled away to find a new customer.
Scott dropped the candy in the next trash bin he passed and licked the stickiness from his fingers. He walked them beyond the food booths after that, lingering instead at a live band playing jazz versions of classic Christmas songs. He swayed and bounced to the beat while Lexi drummed on his head in delight. After the third song, Scott’s watch buzzed. He checked the time and turned away from the band. “Time to go.”
“Go!” she said, still beating his head off beat to the music.
“We’re going to meet Jazz at the big tree.” He pointed down the pathway. At the end of the plaza, a three-story tree had been erected and cordoned off for photos. It glittered from top to base in silver and gold while a red poinsettia graced the top. Streamers of stars stretched from the peak to neighboring balconies on the far edges of the plaza, bringing all eyes to the center. The lights blinked and chased in the branches. Scott took it all in with a longing sigh. He had grown up with a tree and lights on the house, all the tinsel making a mess of the skirt. He remembered the scratching pine needles as he crawled under the lowest branches to add water to the bucket every morning. Most of the trees he saw now were fake, which he didn’t mind. They made much less mess—and didn’t need to be watered—but nothing really came close to that natural pine and sap smell. He hadn’t put up a tree at home. Lexi was just as likely to tip it over as look at it, and Scott honestly didn’t have a place to stash a fake one for the rest of the year. He limited his decorations to paper streamers and wooden reindeer because anything Lexi could grab went straight into her mouth. So he put some Christmas tunes on his phone and did without the rest. With a start Scott realized this would be his first Christmas without family. Danielle wasn’t around anymore, and his own parents were long gone. His heart sunk a little at the thought. No holiday dinner or gift exchange for him this year.
“Hey, Scott, Lexi!”
Scott jumped out of his melancholy at Brennan’s voice. Brennan strode toward them with a cheerful wave, his other hand firm on Jazz’s lead. His hair was carefully swept back, and he wore another of those three-button shirts. This time all three buttons were undone, leaving Scott no choice but to map both collarbones and the bristle of hair just below. His body tightened with anticipation and nerves, a heady combination that left him gripping Lexi’s knees for balance on either shoulder. He grinned.
“Eah. Woof!” Lexi pounded Scott’s head with her small palms, bouncing where she sat. Jazz wore her reindeer antlers again, and this time a Santa Claus doll was strapped to her back. Scott lifted Lexi over his head and set her down. She stomped her feet a bit, too full of excitement to stand properly, then caught herself and marched up to Jazz. Lexi grabbed the dog’s flappy muzzle between two pudgy hands and kissed her right on the nose. Jazz sniffed and nudged her in response.
“I see my evil plan to enthrall your daughter with my reindeer dog is working well,” Brennan winked.
Scott chuckled and shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. A moment of bashfulness overcame him, leaving him tongue-tied. He had to clear his throat and look away from Brennan’s distracting… everything. The whole man was a picture of confidence. The way he moved through conversation told Scott he was well-practiced with the flirting dance, something Scott hadn’t tried in years. He felt a bit out of his depth. The tension in his stomach evolved into full butterflies of nervousness. Was it too soon to hold Brennan’s hand? Was it better to shake or hug? The only thing Scott could really be sure of was that Lexi adored Jazz while Scott…. Scott looked back up and found Brennan checking him out from head to toe. He blushed fiercely. Scott was definitely interested, and Brennan showed every sign of accepting the baggage that Scott came with in the form of a little girl.
“Have you walked through the faire yet?”
Scott gratefully latched on to the topic. “A little. We found the food section.” When Lexi came waddling back to him, he offered her his finger to hold on to.
“Oh good,” said Brennan. “That means you haven’t hit the ice rink yet.”
“I thought they weren’t bringing that back this year?”
The four of them walked together in a direction Brennan chose, at Lexi’s pace. Thankfully away from the food and candies. Scott didn’t need another peppermint in his hair.
“That’s what I heard too.” Brennan gestured ahead. “But something must have changed.”
Sure enough, a waist-high wall curved up ahead, dividing observers from an oval ice rink. Revelers circled the area, with a wide range of ability. Parents skated with their kids, some kids even skated alone, holding on to the edge as they gained confidence.
“Come on, let’s rent some skates.”
“Oh,” said Scott, pulling Lexi closer. “I can’t.”
Brennan cocked his head. “Can’t skate? I’ll teach you.” He tied Jazz up at a bike rack and gave her a pat on the head.
“No, I mean, who would watch Lexi?”
Brennan snorted. “She’s coming with you.” He reached his hand out to Scott, and his eyes softened. “Trust me.”
Lexi hopped and reached for Brennan. He offered her a finger like Scott had, so she stood between them. The image they made was too much like a family, with he on one side and Brennan on the other, for Scott to say no. He didn’t know how he was going to carry Lexi and stay on his feet, but he’d try just to keep this picture going a little longer.
Brennan brought them to the rental booth and paid for not two but three pairs of skates. The tiny boots that came over the counter for Lexi, barely large enough for Brennan to fit a finger into each, made Scott laugh out loud. “What in the world? I’ve never seen skates this small!” He took one from Brennan and turned it over, fascinated. The blade was surrounded by a protective shield on all sides, and the shoes themselves appeared to be just as well made as his adult version. He bent down on one knee and showed them to Lexi. “Do you want to ice skate with me?”
She grabbed the top of the boot. “Issate.”
Scott grinned up at Brennan, who looked down with a twinkle in his eye. “I think that’s a yes.” He said to Lexi, “Let’s go put them on.”
Not only did the smallest skates ever fit snug on Lexi’s feet, but she was also given a bucket at the door of the rink. Scott looked to Brennan for help. Brennan flipped it upside down on the ice, then lifted Lexi into his arms. When he stepped through the door, Scott watched his whole body change. He was still confident and bold, but as he pushed into the ice, his hips swiveled, and he leaned elegantly into a curve. The ice seemed to respond to him, pushing him exactly where he wanted to go. Brennan made a tight turn and set Lexi’s feet on the ice right in front of him. She leaned forward onto the bucket. When it slid away fro
m her, she instinctively tried to walk after it. In three steps Brennan let her go, hovering close as she scrunched her face in concentration. Lexi was skating.
“Oh my God, are you kidding?” Scott stepped unsteadily onto the ice and followed. He wasn’t nearly as elegant as Brennan, and apparently his daughter was a better skater than him too. He only caught up because Lexi’s steps and slides were even slower than Scott’s arrhythmic attempts. “Where’s my adult bucket? I need one of those.”
“I’ll be your bucket.” Brennan held out his hand. This time Scott took it and squeezed, his grin too big to contain. Brennan’s grip was firm, a stable hold for Scott to rely on as he found his rhythm. He’d been ice skating maybe three times in his life, this one included, and was far from steady on his feet. The blades felt like they were slipping underneath him. It was luck, and Brennan, that kept him upright.
“Aaaah, hahaha!” Lexi’s laughter was punctuated with an awkward drumbeat of her palms on the bucket. When a teenager swept past them at speed, the cold air whooshed in everyone’s faces. Lexi shrieked with delight. It was a good thing they were outside. She had no volume control.
Lexi slid, but the bucket went too fast, and her feet couldn’t catch up. In a blink, Brennan scooped her away from the ice and twirled her into the air. He seemed to be just as at home with blades on his feet as he was with shoes. Lexi laughed, and when Brennan settled her back down, she was ready to skate again, effectively avoiding what could have been an upsetting event.
“You’re good out here,” Scott said. “It’s impressive.”
“Skating? It’s just practice.” Brennan took Scott by both hands and led him in a circle around Lexi, skating backward like it was nothing. Maybe it was nothing for him. Scott had to split his attention between Brennan’s hands in his and the ice below him. He felt even more unsteady than before, but Brennan just leaned from side to side and brought him along. “I played hockey when I was in high school, so we did a lot of drills. Laps, sprints, laps and sprints backwards.” Brennan rolled his eyes. “Hour and a half practice every day, twice a day during hell week. I had big, beefy thighs.”
Scott scoffed. Brennan’s thighs were still big and beefy. The teenager swept past them again, and Scott followed his progress for a minute. “Could you catch him?”
“Oh yeah.” Brennan said without looking.
Scott eyed the teenager, then Brennan, and back. A very slow smile spread across Brennan’s face. Without a word he slipped from Scott, turned, and pushed against the ice. Scott caught his breath. Brennan was all power and grace. His legs pumped, and his arms swung with each thrust. He rapidly gained speed down the straight, and at the oval’s curve, he crossed one leg over the other to turn tight. On the opposite straightaway, he burst suddenly, blades chopping at the ice. The teenager glanced back and startled. Then the race was on.
As they circled the second curve, Brennan came up even with the teenager, his experience and raw power overwhelming. For another lap they stayed neck and neck at full speed, legs striking out, arms pumping. As they circled the turns, they both leaned in, crossing their feet over and over like a pair of professionals in a show, almost in sync. When they rushed past Scott and Lexi, there was a wicked grin on Brennan’s face that made Scott laugh and whoop. “Go Brennan! You can take ’em.”
Brennan pulled ahead on the next lap. Then a bored voice droned over the intercom and killed the fun. “There’s no racing in the ice rink. Please stay at a slow pace for the children… thank you.” Smirking, Brennan stood up straight and let his momentum slow naturally. He high-fived the teenager as he passed.
Brennan slid to a stop beside Scott. “How was that?”
“You were amazing. That crisscross thing was so awesome.”
“I could teach you. Watch this.” Brennan took Scott’s hands in his again, crossing them at the wrist and tugging him forward on the ice. “Walk like normal.”
Scott struggled to do so, sliding on the ice. Then Brennan was pulling him to the right, no, in a circle. They were spinning! Scott laughed nervously. He felt out of control, but Brennan’s grip was encouraging. They spun around the center point. Somehow the straight motion of walking had turned into this complex dance. Then Brennan yanked him up close, belly-to-belly, wrapping an arm around his waist like they were dancing. Their spin zipped quicker for a moment, then slowed gracefully to a stop. His body might have finished, but Scott was still spinning in Brennan’s eyes, trapped by the surety he found there. This was where he belonged. Arm in arm with this amazing man.
One of Brennan’s skates caught a divot in the ice and pitched out from under him. He jerked back, yanking Scott with him. They collapsed, and Brennan sat heavily, his breath whooshing out of his broad chest. Then Scott landed akimbo across his lap. He skimmed over the cold ice. Underneath him, Brennan was angles and hard muscle, strength confined in an attractive package. Scott grabbed Brennan’s bicep with one hand to keep himself steady, and so he wouldn’t touch the man’s stomach where his shirt was riding up, showing off bronze skin. Lexi, balancing on her bucket, blew a raspberry at them as she skated slowly by. They burst into laughter together. Brennan lay back on the ice, gripped Scott’s shoulder, and howled. It took several tries, and a lot of snickering, to get back up on their feet again.
Not long after they returned their skates and wandered the faire, Brennan suggested they get some hot chocolate. “To warm up,” he said.
“You already warm me up,” Scott said, grinning to cover his blush. It was true, though. Every glance and sliding touch of hands sent a thrilling spark through Scott’s entire body.
“Why, Scott.” Brennan pretended to be scandalized. It made Scott laugh and helped him over his embarrassment at the same time.
Scott bought the drinks, a small warm one for Lexi, two hot ones for them. They meandered the faire with Jazz at their side, shoulders brushing, comfortably quiet as they took in the sights.
As the evening waned, Brennan asked, “Do you have any plans for tomorrow?”
Scott threw away his empty cup and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “No, just hanging out at home.” He looked down at Lexi, who held one of Jazz’s ears.
Brennan’s voice softened. “No family visiting for Christmas?”
“Not this year.” Scott threw the words out, like saying them fast might not hurt as much. It was still a punch in the chest, though. He sighed. “My parents are gone, and I don’t have much extended family. Lexi’s mother… we drifted apart pretty quickly.”
Brennan’s warm hand appeared on Scott’s back, rubbing gently. “Well, this is a bit quick, but… would you like to come to my place for Christmas dinner? My father bakes a mean turkey, and my entire family will be there. Cousins, uncles. It’s a big party.”
Scott’s steps slowed, and he looked at Brennan. Really looked. There was nothing but kindness in his eyes, no judgment or pity, just welcome. And desire. Scott should say no, he knew that. He’d known this man for two days, and imposing on a family celebration? It wasn’t polite. But dammit, he was lonely, and Lexi deserved more than paper decorations for Christmas. The bustle of Brennan’s family sounded like exactly what he’d been searching for. His desire won out. “Okay,” he said. “That would be great.”
They traded phones, entering their numbers and addresses for each other. When Scott took his back, Brennan squeezed his fingers. He said softly, “I can’t wait to see you again. I had a great time.”
“Me too.” Scott leaned forward, pressing his hand lightly against Brennan’s hard chest. He touched their lips together, knowing just before he felt it that the contact would ignite something inside him. Brennan’s breath huffed lightly against Scott’s cheek, like he was unprepared. Then Scott rocked back and smiled at the starstruck look in Brennan’s eyes.
Scott scooped Lexi up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Yeah,” Brennan said, staring at him. “Tomorrow.” Scott saw him swallow hard.
He smiled and turned away.
Good morning, handsome. You’re welcome to show up any time after 11 this morning. The party really gets going at about 3. See you soon.
His heart throbbed. Brennan was amazing. Scott didn’t want to waste any time. He checked the clock by his bed. Eight thirty. Lexi had even slept in this morning. She liked getting him up at six. This day was going to be fantastic.
Scott hopped in the shower first, then glanced into Lexi’s quiet crib on his way to the kitchen. She was on her stomach, one fist curled up by her chin, drooling onto the blanket he’d set over her last night. He let her sleep, taking the quiet opportunity to make himself coffee and enjoy it uninterrupted for the first time in almost a year. When he set the cup in his sink without hearing a sound from her, though, he grew concerned. It was very unusual for her to sleep this late.
She was still on her stomach when he leaned over the crib. She snorted softly, a gurgle in the back of her nose. Scott stroked her back, and she scrunched her face up. Then she whined and pushed against the mattress. Drool and snot hung from her face. Scott wiped them both with a hand towel on the crib rail. She sat herself up, fussing. Then she sneezed and a green booger hung out of her nose. Scott wiped her up again and lifted her out of the crib. With her face next to his ear, he could hear her breath gurgling through her nose and throat. He rubbed her back. “Oh, Lex, are you sick?” She sniffed heavily in his ear.
“Come on, let’s get all that goop out of you,” Scott said. He used a bulb to clear her nose and throat, surprised at the sheer volume she had produced. She was definitely sick. And probably achy if the way she whined was any indication. He went digging in the cabinet for a baby aspirin but only found NyQuil for adults. A quick internet search confirmed he wasn’t supposed to drug her anyway. He prepared himself for a fussy day and headed back to the kitchen. She barely ate, but her appetite for formula was healthy, and Scott happily filled up her bottle twice before she knocked it across the table, a clear signal she was done. He had woken her up, now, but she was uncomfortable and showed no interest in the new toy he’d bought her for Christmas. Within an hour she was squirming in his arms, unable to find a good position for herself.