by Sienna Parks
“There’s nothing I can say that will make a difference. I put him and Rae and the rest of you in danger.”
“If not for you… will you at least try for my sake? I’m going to be selfish for a change. I don’t want one of my boys leaving town unless it’s for the right reason.” He knows he’s got me now. I could never refuse him.
“He needs some time to cool off, and I need to get my head straight. I promise I’ll come by in a few days when things have calmed a little.” He pulls me in for a hug—not something I’m used to from Pops. He’s always been a man’s man. A slap on the back is a show of affection. “You’re worth lovin’, son. Don’t be so quick to think otherwise.” I watch as he closes the door behind him. Part of me doesn’t want to rehash what I saw in Chicago—it won’t change anything between us—but I can’t just go to Dallas and hope this all goes away. If I know one thing, it’s this—your problems will follow you wherever you go.
SAVANNAH
I knew this day would come, but I thought I’d have more time, and I’d find the right words to break the news. I never intended for any of this to unfold the way it has. The day I came to Kingsbury Falls, all I wanted was to find Maddox Hale and uncover the truth. I needed him to love me—I needed a family. Jax was never supposed to be part of the equation—collateral damage in my quest for the truth.
I didn’t sleep at all last night wanting to give Jax space to cool down knowing I needed to explain everything. He and Maddox deserve to know the truth about who I am. I’m just scared they won’t understand why I kept it from them for so long.
The plane ride felt like the longest three hours of my life. I wanted to clear my head after my dad’s revelations, but my stomach churned the entire time—fear and hope creating the perfect storm inside me. When I embarked on a quest for the truth after my mom died, I never thought it would lead me to where I am now. Instead of gaining a family, I lost the only stability I’ve ever known.
It feels different this time as the welcome sign for Kingsbury Falls appears in the distance. My whole world resides in this town. There’s nothing left for me in Chicago but lies and deceit. I don’t want to make the same mistakes my father did, but maybe I’m already too late to fix things. No matter how difficult this is going to be, I’m not running away from it. I’m going to fight for Jax and the family I’ve always wanted.
As I pull up outside Jax’s apartment building, my mind begins to race—anxiety taking over. Where do I begin? Will he let me in the door? Will he forgive me for all the lies? Will he look at me the same way when he realizes how our lives have been unknowingly intertwined all these years? The only way I can get answers is to try.
It takes me twenty minutes to muster up the courage to get out of the car and knock on his door. My heart feels like it’s rattling my ribcage with every thunderous beat. Clinging to the doorframe, I take a few deep, measured breaths in an attempt to shake off the sudden onslaught of nausea. My lungs constrict at the sound of the lock twisting. Gray spots begin to appear clouding my vision. When the door opens and Jax stares in shock at the sight of me, my body starts to shake, and then it all goes black. The sensation is dreamlike—falling off a cliff—suspended in mid-air for what feels like an eternity. The last thing I remember is hearing his voice.
“Christ! Savannah!”
I wake to the smell of fresh laundry and cologne. My limbs feel heavy, and my head is pounding.
“Savannah, can you hear me?”
“Jackson? Is that you?” My eyelids flutter struggling to stay open, but his voice is a soothing balm to the ache in my head. My heart awakens with the knowledge he’s close by.
“Yes.” He sounds further away forcing me to focus. I’m on the couch in his living room, and he’s at the furthest possible distance from me. It’s as if he’s scared he’s going to catch something if he gets too close. His body language appears defeated.
“What happened?”
“Hell if I know. You showed up at my door uninvited and fainted. Now, I’m waiting on you to leave.” The cold tone of his voice is chilling.
“I came to explain what you saw.” A sneer of disgust forms across his face causing my insides to cringe.
“I don’t want to hear any more of your lies, Savannah. I thought I made that clear.”
“I’m not in love with Maddox.” I pull myself into a sitting position. I can’t have this conversation lying down.
“Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. Maybe one day, you’ll believe it.” The cracks in his voice betray the calm exterior he’s attempting to pull off.
“Jackson Timothy McKinney, shut up and listen to me! Maddox Hale is my brother. Yes, I lied about why I came, but I never once lied about my feelings for you.” He starts pacing the room—he always does that when he’s thinking, so as much as it pains me, I sit in silence to give him a moment to process.
“I’d know if he had a sister. He’d know if he had a sister.”
“He doesn’t know about me. I’ve been trying to find a way to tell him since the moment I first came to town, but his dad died, and then when I came back… I fell in love with his best friend. I was terrified and confused. You turned my world on it’s head, Jax.
“So, your mom?”
“Was Mary Hale.” His eyes widen.
“Was?”
“She died just over two years ago.”
“Fuck. I mean… I’m sorry.” He wrings his hands back and forth through his hair worry etched in his brow. This is only the tip of the iceberg. I’m sick to my stomach at how he’ll react when I drop my biggest secret.
“I get it. You’re worried about Maddox. I saw how devastated he was when his dad died.” A lump forms at the back of my throat. “I didn’t want to rock up and hit him with the bombshell that not only had he just buried his father, his mom who abandoned him had died, and no one told him.” Understanding dawns as he drops his head and takes a seat across from me.
“Holy shit, Savannah. This is going to change everything. Have you always known about him?”
“No. My dad… the man she married… we’ll get to that. I had to clear out some of her stuff a while back and found a trail of breadcrumbs leading me to Maddox. I had no idea she had another child or even that she’d been married before.”
“But, when you met me, you already knew who I was. Correct?” I hang my head in shame.
“Yes.”
“And you wanted to meet me because I’m Mad’s best friend?”
“At first.”
“I fucking knew it!”
“But, you have to believe me… even before we spoke, I knew there was something different about you. I ran away because I felt connected to you. That’s never happened to me. It wasn’t fake or forced. It was all real.”
“And based on a lie.” He looks so broken as the words leave his lips, I don’t want to keep going. “Why didn’t you tell me once we started seeing each other? I gave you every opportunity.”
“I was scared. I thought it would be unfair to tell you before I told Maddox, and then things were going so well between you and me… I didn’t want to risk it. The longer I put it off, the harder it got.”
“I was an open book. Do you have any idea how foolish I feel? And I don’t even have the right to be upset because this is going to change Mad’s life. Even my own tragedy isn’t mine in this pokey little town!” I take a deep breath wringing my hands as I pluck up the courage to continue.
“There’s more.” His eyes find mine—fear and apprehension marring his handsome features.
“Do I want to hear this?”
“No, you don’t. It’s why I left without explaining. As soon as I found out, I knew I couldn’t stay until I got the truth, and I didn’t trust myself to stay away. I wanted it to be wrong. It’s all I could think about.”
“Whatever it is, just say it.”
“I… I found out… the rumors were true. Mad’s mother, my mom, left town with your father. They changed their names, got married, an
d made a life together in Chicago. Matthew Adams is Jeb McKinney. He’s your father, Jax.” I break down choking on each word through uncontrollable tears.
“Your father is my father? That makes you… my sister! Holy fucking shit. We slept together, Savannah! I took your fucking virginity! How could you keep this from me? It’s disgusting.” No one has ever looked at me with such revulsion. It breaks my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.
“We’re not related.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He grabs me by the shoulders, his eyes begging me to tell him it’s all a bad dream. “Did I fuck my sister or not?”
“No! I didn’t know it was even a possibility when we were together. The day I went to clean up the cottage after the storm, Mrs. Hawthorne found a picture of my dad. She asked why I had a picture of Jeb McKinney. I was devastated, inconsolable. I left, and I took your cap with me because I needed to know for sure. I had a DNA test done.”
“And?” His complexion has changed from a sun-kissed tan to ashen white.
“We aren’t a match.” His whole body deflates with a sigh of relief.
“So, he isn’t my dad? Mrs. Hawthorne was wrong.”
“No. He is your father, Jax. I spoke to him. The reason you and I aren’t related is because I’m not his daughter. I didn’t know. After I got the results, I confronted him. He told me himself. He’s always known I wasn’t his. My mom was unfaithful, but he loved her, so he tolerated me.”
“This is a sick joke, right?”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about Maddox. I love you, Jackson. What we have means everything to me.”
“Had.” With one word, any flicker of hope I was clinging to is extinguished.
“I never meant to hurt you. I told your father never to contact me again. I cut all ties with him. I don’t want anything to do with him. You’re ten times the man he’ll ever be. I know that sorry isn’t enough, but isn’t there some way we can get past this?”
“Hurt me? You’re sorry? You’re ripping my fucking heart out, Savannah! Not just that… you’ve torn any shred of decency I had left from my soul and squeezed the life out of my lungs. I can’t breathe with you here! I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“What?”
“It doesn’t matter now. There’s no going back. You thought I was your brother for six weeks, and you still want to be with me? You’re twisted.”
“We didn’t do anything wrong! I didn’t sleep with you after I found out. I’ve been living in a perpetual state of torment all this time. Don’t you think I hated myself for loving you? For wanting you? For dreaming about the way your body feels against mine? I couldn’t stand the sight of myself.”
“It changes things. You should have told me.”
“Why? So you could’ve loathed yourself for almost two months? I didn’t want that. I knew it would destroy you if the test had come back positive.” I understand his initial reaction, but we love each other. How can that be wrong?
“I can’t do this. You may not be blood, but you’re my stepsister. My dad raised you.” It never crossed my mind.
“My mom is dead. We weren’t brought up together. The man who raised me is remarried, and he never wanted me. He wasn’t a dad to either of us, Jax. Are you going to let his mistakes and some label that doesn’t mean anything, or even apply now, stop us from being together?”
“It’s too much. I need space to process all of this, and you need to tell Maddox. We can’t… it’s too complicated… my ‘dad’… that bastard destroys everything he touches.” It kills me to see him so unhinged. He opened his heart to me, and I couldn’t protect it. I tried to shield him as much as I could, but in the end, I’ve hurt him more. I betrayed his trust, and for that, he will never forgive me.
“I’m sorry, Jax. I wish I could take it all back… all the lies… but I wouldn’t change loving you. No matter how much it hurts, I will always love you.”
“Don’t…”
“I know. I’ll leave. I’m going to talk to Maddox and explain everything. If he doesn’t want me in his life, I’ll respect his wishes. I’ll leave, and you’ll never have to set eyes on me again.” He can’t stomach the sight of me. With his head in his hands, he draws a ragged breath as I stand to leave.
“Are you okay to drive?” In his darkest moments, he shows compassion no matter how painful it is to do so.
“I’m fine. I was… overwhelmed to see you one last time.” As I walk toward the door, my heart aches so much it’s a physical pain in my chest. “Goodbye, Jackson.” He doesn’t respond, focusing on each deliberate, slow, hard breath… in and out, holding himself together as best he can.
If I’d known it was the last time when he spoke to me with hope, joy, and love in his deep Southern drawl, I would have savored it—memorized every word. The last time we made love… I didn’t know. There was so much more I wanted for us. A future we can’t have. All that’s left now is to tell Maddox. If he doesn’t want anything to do with me, then I have nothing… I have no one.
“Were you with her when she passed?” His response is unexpected.
“Yes. She fell asleep knowing I was by her side and never woke up. It was peaceful.” Tears threaten his eyes as he repeatedly attempts to blink them away.
“Good. No one should have to die alone.” Jax told me about the day Maddox’s dad died. It was a difficult time for all of them. I’m not comparing the two—his dad was a real part of his life, but I’m blown away by his concern for the mother who abandoned him when he was no older than Rae.
When I arrived at the ranch earlier this evening, Maddox was waiting for me with his wife by his side. Jackson had called and asked him not to slam the door in my face. Even after I ripped his heart out, he went out on a limb for me, and I’m overwhelmed by his compassion. Somehow, after telling my secrets to the man I love, explaining them to Maddox and A.B. didn’t seem as insurmountable. There is one detail I didn’t share with Jax. The only thing I couldn’t verbalize until I knew how my brother would react.
“There’s something else.” He rakes his palm over the scruff of his jaw in exhaustion.
“I don’t think there’s anything you can tell me at this point that will shock me.” I see a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and it warms my heart.
“The man my mom cheated on my dad with… it was Bobby. It was your dad.” His endearing expression disappears as quickly as it came. He’s out of his seat pacing the floor the same way Jax does.
“No! He hated her. He would have told me if he’d seen her again. How? When?” A.B. stands to calm him grabbing his hand as he braces himself for my reply.
“I was born twenty years ago.”
“You’re only twenty?” I know he’s thinking about my brief relationship with his best friend. “What the hell were you thinking?”
“In Jackson’s defense, he doesn’t know how young I am, and I never offered the information.” Maddox looks angry—protective like a big brother.
“Nine months before that, my mom… our mom… came back to Kingsbury Falls. I guess she started missing her old life for a split second or was fed up with husband number two. When Bobby found out, he was furious, but I guess they had a tryst of some sort. Their ceasefire didn’t last long before he found out she didn’t want to see you, and he told her to leave and never come back. She left and when I came along, she didn’t tell him.”
“My dad didn’t know he had a daughter?” There’s sorrow in his voice.
“He had no idea.” His eyes dart to a picture on the wall—Rae sitting on Bobby’s lap. He reaches out taking my hand in his.
“If he’d known, he’d have done right by you, Savannah. He was a good man. You’d have been the apple of his eye. Please believe me. As a father, I know what a gift a daughter is. He doted on Rae. She was his whole world. I wish you’d been able to meet him.” As hard as I try, I can’t hold back my tears.
“At least I was able to pay my respects at
his funeral. That’s something, I guess.”
“Did you know then? Is that why you came?”
“No. I knew about you, but I had no idea I was sitting at the funeral of my father.” The shared loss softens him toward me.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could’ve been there for you through all of this. Throughout your life.”
“Thank you for saying that. I’ve just come here and spewed out all this stuff. You must think I’m a terrible person for not telling you sooner. I was so scared… and then when I met Jackson… it all became more complicated. My mom wasn’t who I thought she was, and my dad… wasn’t even my dad. I’m so sorry, Maddox. I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me. I know Jax doesn’t.” My words come out so fast I can barely take a breath. He pulls me into his arms, letting me cry, and it hits me all over again—my parents, Bobby, the brother I always wanted, and the man I’ll always love. When there are no more tears to shed, he wipes my cheeks and holds my gaze.
“You’re family. They should’ve done things differently… and so should you, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re my sister.” He chokes up a little hearing himself say it for the first time. “I have a sister. I want to get to know you and be part of your life if you still want that?”
“I do, but I don’t want to come between you and Jackson. He’ll never forgive me for lying to him. He can’t get past the idea that I could have been his stepsister.”
“Jax is almost as stubborn as me, but he’s a good man. He’ll come around.”
“I hurt him, but I was trying to protect him. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him.” Maddox looks to A.B. as she busies herself in the kitchen after giving me some space to cry.
“I know a little something about second chances. If he’s the one, you’ll find your way back to each other. It’s not easy, and it takes time, but if you give him the space he needs and keep on loving him, then maybe you two have a chance.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m not saying I like the idea of my twenty-year-old sister being with my jackass best friend! But, I know how miserable he’s been since you left, and I have no right to dictate your life for you. I want you here, and if you’d like, you can stay on the ranch.”