by M. V. Kasi
She straightened and wiped her mouth with a tissue before facing the obviously traumatized woman. Ajay was already there. He must have taken the elevator, and he was watching her with a curious look. Probably wondering why she had reached downstairs after him, when she had stormed out before him.
“Answer me. How could you!” Jyotika shouted in anguish.
“Jo…” Ajay placed a gentle hand on her trying to placate her.
But Jyotika kept looking at her. “The nurse was right. You are cold and manipulative. Only a person with no soul would use someone like this and destroy their happiness.”
Meantime Sia saw Anjali’s car approaching her, and was relieved.
“Why did you do this?” Jyotika demanded with tears streaming down.
Sia supposed most people would not be able to look at themselves in the eye after doing what she did to Ajay, and indirectly to Jyotika. She kept telling herself that she had no choice.
But it was a lie.
Each and every person living on the earth always had a choice. The choices could be shitty, but were nevertheless choices.
“Tell me why you did this to us!” shouted Jyotika even as Ajay held her close, and tried to calm her.
But Jyotika struggled out of his arms and followed after her to the car. “Just tell me why! I need to know why! How could you be so soulless!”
Sia sat in the car and looked at Ajay and his distraught fiancée.
If only she could reply to them that she had no soul because her soul was ripped from her a long time ago. And if she were forced to choose between her soul and her survival, her soul and her peace of mind, her soul and her vengeance—she’d damn her useless soul.
CHAPTER NINE
THAT EVENING, AJAY had announced to Jo’s family that he would be marrying Sia the following week. They were shocked, but didn’t accuse him of leading Jo on.
“We are very disappointed that you won’t be Jo’s husband, Ajay. But an innocent child’s welfare is more important. A child needs both mother and father,” said Jo’s mother.
He hated causing any kind of hurt to Jo or her family. Right from the age of fifteen, Jo had told him that she would make him her husband, so he could officially be a part of her family. He had laughed. He had told her that she was his best friend, and that she shouldn’t entertain such silly ideas.
But a couple of months ago, Jo had given him a very good reason on why they should end up with each other.
Jo’s parents had arranged for a match for her with a well educated man whose family came from a very good lineage. During the background check, which was done by his security firm, they found out that the groom’s family was actually bankrupt. Not only that, but also the groom and his father had scammed multiple people and were wanted by the law.
That had shaken Jo’s family.
“I don’t want to marry a stranger, Ajay. We are best friends, and I just want us to continue being like that. You know my family and I love you. There is no reason for us not to get married to each other.”
A week after Jo had said that to him, they decided to get engaged, and then marry when they both felt they were ready.
Ajay shook his head as guilt and regret crushed him.
Jo had been partly right. He hadn’t actually been ready. But not for the reasons she seemed to think.
It was because he had fallen hard for Sia and was crushed by her rejection. After their night together, even though he had tried very hard to move on, he knew he could never completely get over her.
Now he felt like a complete fool falling for a woman who had been simply using him.
And even though in his mind he knew, he was the one who had insisted on marriage, he still couldn’t get over the feeling of powerlessness and also the feeling of being manipulated. And of losing control of his life.
He had once thought that he saw every possibility, and promised himself that he would make his own destiny. A few weeks ago, he was determined that he and Jo together, would be everything he required. He had thought that he had control on his life, and that everything he did, was done perfectly. But Sia with her manipulation and lies completely destroyed it.
The doorbell interrupted his thoughts.
“You look like shit Jay,” said Harsha. “How long have you been drinking?” he asked, the near empty scotch bottle probably gave him away.
“From past three hours. Come join me, Harsha.”
He had gotten drunk to dull the rage inside him. But it didn’t help. Everything inside him rebelled at the thought of being forced into an unwanted marriage. The only reason why he insisted on the facade was the thought of not being able to see his child. He already felt fiercely protective of the life he had created.
“No thanks. I have to drive back home. Tell me Jay, what happened?”
Ajay told him briefly about that day’s events. After he was done, he stared into the amber liquid. He probably looked like a clichéd sucker from a movie who had been duped.
“I want to destroy her, Harsha. Help me find out why she did this to me.”
“Jay, we’ve gone through this before. You need to forget about her. Maybe she was speaking the truth when she said that she was feeling lonely, and wanted a child to love—”
“No. There is something else that is motivating her. I just know it. When I think about the things she had done, they don’t really add up with whatever she says. And I also feel that she deliberately manipulated me, by planting thoughts in my head, that marriage was the only solution to be a part of my child’s life.”
“Jay—”
“I know it because when I demanded marriage, her pupils didn’t dilate in shock. Because she knew I was going to ask her to marry me. But when I didn’t agree to a marriage after the birth, and insisted that we’d have to live together, even before the baby was born, she finally had a reaction. In fact, she was quite stunned.”
Since that morning, he had enough time to think and brood after he had calmed down. He knew it in his gut that he was playing into her hands. But what was her damn game, he didn’t know.
“She could have simply not revealed her pregnancy until much later, if she didn’t want me to be in her life. But she told me during the second month itself. Almost as if she had an agenda. She wanted to stop my engagement to Jo. She wants to get married to me temporarily for some reason.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Jay. You need to calm down and think rationally. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later.”
“I don’t want to be rational. I want her to know that she has picked the wrong man to manipulate.”
Harsha sighed, knowing that once Ajay felt wronged in any way, he wouldn’t forgive or forget that easily. “What do you want to do Jay?” he asked.
“Nothing right now. I’m going to wait until my child is born. And then, I’m going after her and claiming my child.”
“How did Jo take the news?” Harsha asked softly.
Even though Harsha needled Jo endlessly, Ajay knew he cared about her. They had known each other far too long, to not to.
“As expected. Not very well. I hate hurting Jo in anyway. But I have no choice.”
“I’ll talk to Jo. I know she’s made up of stronger stuff. She’ll get over it eventually,” said Harsha.
Later that evening, even after Harsha left, Ajay continued to drink and rage silently within.
CHAPTER TEN
SIA WAS ON the phone with Varun.
“Ajay has asked me to marry him.”
There was silence, and then, “Congratulations.”
“I’m not sure it’s a good thing. Because I don’t like it.”
“Sia, I don’t know what’s not to like, if that man himself had suggested that you both get married. Part of our mission is accomplished.”
She was still feeling quite tensed since her last interaction with Ajay.
“You don’t understand Varun, he’s not just suggesting a wedding on paper. He wants us to live together.”
“What the hell!” cried Varun in outrage. “He cannot force you to—”
“He just did. And att this point, I don’t really have a choice. It’s a disaster. He’s even threatening legal action, and warned me that he would make a big scene, if I didn’t agree to marry him and live together.”
There was a loud exhale.
“I told you not to mess with someone who knew everyone in the damn city. Why couldn’t you have picked the harmless, eager guy we had vetted?” he asked. “Or maybe any of those other idiots who would have taken the sweet deal, if you threw enough money at them. And you could have gotten rid of that person, once our things were accomplished.”
“That’s the problem. I didn’t want an idiot as my child’s father,” she said quietly.
There was silence. This time a loaded one.
“Do you actually have…feelings for that man?” Varun asked in disgust.
She was quiet. Maybe for a shade too long.
“No,” she said finally.
But he sounded upset. “Just remember that he’s simply someone who was unfortunate to be used for our mission. He’s just collateral damage in our war. Don’t get attached to him,” he warned.
Even though Varun was right, she didn’t like it when the facts were being presented to her. Even though it was too late to develop a conscience at this stage.
“I don’t want any kind of attachments with him. And I’ll manage him. I’ll see to it that he doesn’t interfere with us.”
She ended the call, knowing Varun wasn’t convinced. But there was nothing she could do about that.
She felt tensed, while she tried to think of a way out from the living arrangement with Ajay.
How the hell would she live with him? Never in her wildest dreams did she ever think, she would end up living with him or even be with him.
‘Liar’, her mind whispered. She had always wondered. Fantasized even. Even when she had shot him down several times.
She had really tried to stay away from him.
For months, she had stopped herself from taking up his offer for dinner—and maybe much more. Because she had seen him as a huge distraction while she worked towards her goals.
And not only that, but he was also one of the few people with whom she had come embarrassingly close to breaking a self imposed rule—Never sleep with someone whom she was slowly developing feelings for.
She had ,truly liked him.
At first, she had thought that he was a typical good-looking, cocky guy who was used to getting his way because of his looks. But Ajay was something else. She had known that after observing him for a few times and doing background check on him.
He wasn’t what he wanted people to believe he was. And she didn’t need super powers to deduct it. To others, he presented this very approachable, harmless persona, who did favors for everyone and could be your best friend. But there was something about him. Something about the way he held himself. The way he looked at the world with keen eyes, absorbing everything around him. And the way he looked at her sometimes. As though he could read her and would want to know all her secrets.
And most importantly, unlike her, he knew what he was, and had a confidence about him that was surreal. He was hypnotic, and magnetic. Especially his eyes and smile. They made one feel wanted, and safe.
He was her only indulgence that she had allowed herself to partake, in her otherwise well-planned and controlled life. She had gone ahead and spent a night with him. Even though she hadn’t meant to. And knowing that she wouldn’t and couldn’t ever be with him again.
She kicked the blanket away from her as she felt hot, recalling their night together.
It was all coming to her in flashes.
In hot, filthy flashes.
The things he did.
The things she did.
And the things they both did to each other the night they had spent together.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
TWO MONTHS AGO
THEIR EYES CLASHED across the crowded club.
A mixture of intense desire and anxiety surged through Sia’s veins. She felt the same kind of high when she used to inject powerful drugs into her body all those years ago.
It was an agony so intense that one would do anything for the next fix.
But she hadn’t gotten her fix of him.
Yet.
He was standing with a small group who were talking and laughing boisterously around him. But he was not paying them any attention, because he was busy watching her.
And he continued doing so, even when she returned his gaze to stare back at him.
Before she could make any sort of indication to him, her attention was diverted by another guy wearing an expensive suit.
“Sia?” he asked.
And before she could confirm, the guy smiled and began to talk.
“Wow, you look amazing. I saw you in the pictures that you had sent me, but nothing comes close to the reality,” he said, his eyes running over her body.
“Thanks,” she said, even as she cursed herself internally.
The man in front of her was the one she was supposed to be with. Not the one whom she had been devouring with her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she tried to divert her attention to the man in the suit.
It was quite hard. And even more so because he spoke mostly about himself.
He droned on and on, and she tried very hard to drum up some interest in him. But unfortunately, standing within arm’s length of him was doing less for her than just glancing across the club at the other man.
“I still cannot believe my luck. I promise that when we—”
“I’m not interested anymore,” she told the man bluntly.
He looked shocked, “But…but…I-I thought we were going to—”
“Not anymore,” she said with a cold look.
“Please, I really like you. I’d already made up my mind when I saw your picture and read about you. I—”
“I’ve changed my mind. And I already told you that I’m not interested anymore. So leave,” she told him again.
The man didn’t argue. He had a crestfallen expression before he slunk away in defeat.
Her plan was going to be ruined. But right then, she didn’t care.
Again her eyes sought out the corner where she had last seen the other man, but he wasn’t there anymore.
Did he leave the club already? If he did, then she should be relieved. But she wasn’t. Her chest felt heavy with disappointment.
She knew she wasn’t like other normal women. And that her life wasn’t like a cute movie story with an innocent heroine, trying to find her soul mate or true love. And it could never be that way for her. That ship with her innocence had sailed long before, several years before. Since then, countless men had come along, and then gone.
But she wanted only one man above others.
“Looking for me?” a deep voice spoke next to her ear from behind her.
When she turned around in surprise, Ajay smiled at her sexily.
“What makes you think I was looking for you?” she asked, trying to calm her heartbeat and the adrenaline rushing through her body.
“I don’t know. Maybe because you are here at a place where you know I hang out often on Saturday nights. I’ve invited you several times before, and you kept turning me down. I’m glad you are finally here,” he said.
Seeing the hopeful look on his face, she began to have second thoughts about that night.
She should insult him with a callous remark and ask him to buzz off like she did with the other guy a while ago. She should probably also lie that she wasn’t interested in him—but she couldn’t.
Desire like nothing she had ever felt was ruling her brain and body. She needed him. Only him.
Just Ajay Manthena.
Deep down, she knew it wasn’t just for her mission. She wanted to be with Ajay. He was the one she chose, even though it was going to create several ob
stacles in her path. But this was her once chance at being truly selfish. Once chance at being normal.
Two days ago, she had gotten back the report on his background check. At twenty five, Ajay was just one year older than her. He had no living biological family, and he grew up at an orphanage before being adopted by The Colonel.
Local magazines had stated that he was a self made man whose company was growing rapidly. It was even being said that over the next decade, Manthena Corp would turn out to be one of the big players in the corporate world.
She had also paid the greedy teenage hacker enough to even procure other information about Ajay, illegally. Ajay’s blood work was clean. But curiously, his health records did not indicate whether or not he had any sexual experience before. But based on their last make-out session, she knew that he knew his way around a female body.She assessed him quietly, while he continued smiling at her in his usual sexy way.
“Let’s get out of here and have dinner. There is a great place that I know—” he began.
“No,” she replied, cutting him off.
She saw the frustration tearing into his face at her reply. She had rejected his dinner invitations way too many times. It was quite ironic that over the past few months, during most of the nights, she had imagined being with him.
And now, all her fevered fantasies she had about him during those nights was coming back to her, more vivid than most of her real memories with other men.
“I meant…that I don’t want to have dinner. Take me home with you. To your bed,” she said softly, making it obvious what she wanted from him.
He didn’t appear shocked at her bold invitation. He began to smile slowly. And this time, rather than his usual sexy smile, it was a fierce smile. It was so scorching that her entire body broke into goosebumps.
“Alright then. Let’s go,” he said and held her hand firmly.
She followed behind him with her heart pounding. He was dragging her out quickly, as though he was worried that she’d change her mind again. To keep up with his pace, she had to break into a run in her high heels.