“You burnt down the entire west wing, and the rest would have been taken with it if it wasn’t for the White Queen coming to the rescue.”
Cheshire rolls his eyes but relents. “Fine, no fire. Maybe just some very strong wind. I’ll go search and see if I can find something that will generate that much energy. Meet me in the courtyard.”
I watch as Cheshire Fades away, the process taking longer than it should. Both of us are still learning the skill, but Cheshire has always been better at it than me. I have to really concentrate on it in order to disappear completely, and I can’t go nearly as far away as he can. It’s frustrating, but I’m working on it.
“You think Chesh will go overboard?” Alex watches where Cheshire disappeared, worry between his brows.
I laugh. “Most definitely. We should keep a close eye on what he’s searching for. If we’re not careful, he’ll find a Jabberwocky to flap its wings and destroy the castle in the process.”
“Thank Wonder, Jabberwockies are extinct,” Alex sighs, “but that doesn’t mean he won’t find something else to cause damage.”
My tail twitches behind me as I study Alex, the firm set of his lips, his tense shoulders. The older we get, the less excited he gets about the pranks. I think his Prince training is starting to kick in, and he worries about people getting hurt now rather than pranking. He still laughs, still jumps in all the way when we prank, but he worries, and that’s okay.
“It’s going to be alright, Alex.” I place my hand on his shoulder, and he looks down at the touch, his eyes taking in my fingers before looking into my eyes.
“How can you be certain?”
“I can’t be. But Cheshire would never purposely hurt people.”
“It’s not on purpose that I’m worried about.” Alex smiles, and I realize I still haven’t moved my hand from his shoulder. I start to lift my fingers, but he grabs my own hand with his and keeps me from moving. “Don’t. I like when you touch me.”
The blush that rises to my cheeks is fast and bright, my tail twitching behind me in nervousness. Lately, the looks between Alex and I have been growing more frequent, but I assumed it was only me who had feelings I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t be touching the future King, not with these emotions. He’s meant for something more, and I’m just one of thousands in his kingdom. I’m perfectly ordinary.
“We shouldn’t,” I whisper, staring into his bright-blue eyes. I always assumed Alex and Alice would be an item. When she’d come to Wonderland, they’d been inseparable, but the years have gone on. Alice never returned, and Alex never speaks of her, and when he does, he never mentions any feelings. Perhaps, it was only Alice who loved Alex, and not the other way around. Still, Alice would be far better suited for a Prince than I would be. I have no noble blood, no true merit in the eyes of the King and Queen.
Alex grins, coming a little too close to be proper. His fingers gently cup my waist, drawing me in. “Now, Dani,” he chides, his eyes twinkling, “when have we ever cared about what people think?”
He presses a fast kiss to my lips–it’s over before I even realize what’s happening–and then Alex lets me go and dances away, delight and laughter on his face. I watch him go, shocked, as I raise my fingers to my lips.
The Prince just kissed me, and I didn’t stop him. The Prince just kissed me, and I want him to do it again.
What in Wonder have I gotten myself into?
Chapter 1
“Is that the best you’ve got?” Alex goads, swinging his blade around to clash against my own.
I grin, throwing him backwards with all my weight before dancing out of the way. Alex may have brute strength, but I’m fast. He can’t actually catch me if I don’t want him to, but that isn’t the point of these training sessions. Cheshire and I have plans to join the guard, to protect the monarchy. In a world that thrives on chaos, we want to keep the order. Cheshire enjoys the battles, but he doesn’t want to be restrained. If he was a general, he’d have the freedom to choose. I can see why he wants the position.
Besides, Cheshire is one of the best warriors there is, and thanks to him, Alex and I are just as skilled.
“You talk too much,” Cheshire comments, watching our session. He’s always analyzing the best ways to move, which sides we need to work on more. “Focus on the blades and your feet.”
“It’s hard to focus when I’m fighting such a pretty woman,” Alex comments and barely avoids my sword swiping across his armor.
Cheshire freezes, and his electric-blue eyes stare at Alex a little more closely. I realize immediately it was the wrong thing for Alex to say, and I prepare myself for the lecture. Instead, Cheshire holds up his hand, telling us to stop. Both Alex and I immediately back up. Alex is breathing a little hard, a side effect of trying, and failing, to keep up with my moves. My stamina from climbing trees and working with Cheshire prevents me from suffering the safe effect. Overbearing brothers come in handy for something.
“My turn.”
“No break?” Alex raises his brow, a smile on his face. I move off to the side, out of harm’s way. I’ve been cut for standing too close before. I don’t make the same mistake nowadays. Last time, Alex’s blade sliced right across my bicep. I’d had to sit out for weeks while the wound healed, a far worse punishment than the actual cut.
“There are no breaks in battle. Or warnings.” Cheshire swings his blade with his statement, and Alex barely has enough time to block the sword.
The sharp ting fills the courtyard as they stay balanced, there in the center, neither pushing to overpower each other. Their eyes lock, and I realize that this isn’t just a training session.
“Cheshire?” I worry my bottom lip as they hover in the center.
“Again!” Cheshire Fades away and reappears behind Alex before he can react. His kicks Alex on the back of the knee, sending him to the floor with a clatter. Alex recovers quickly, a testament to his training, rolling on the floor and to his feet before Cheshire is on him. Alex swings his own blade in an attempt to catch Cheshire unaware, but my brother is nothing if not a professional. He’s no longer in the same place, his own sword clash making Alex stumble back under the blow.
“Cheshire, stop,” I try, taking a step forward.
“Stay back, Dani,” Cheshire snarls, attacking Alex again.
Alex doesn’t back down, and he doesn’t ask him to stop. He won’t. All of his training won’t allow it. He’s the Prince, and the Prince fights until his very last breath. Something bigger is going on between the two men, bigger than practice. Cheshire stares intensely into Alex’s eyes, his gaze as sharp as the blades he swings. There’s no hate there like his attacks speak of, but there’s anger. Lots and lots of anger. And Cheshire is ruthless when he’s pissed.
Alex grunts with the next blow, his arms shaking, his fatigue starting to show. Cheshire isn’t even using his full strength, but he’s using enough to hurt. Alex will be in pain tomorrow.
“That’s enough!” I lift my own sword, preparing to join the fray. Alex is slowing down, leaving his side open. It’s the weakness Cheshire has been trying to get Alex to overcome, but it doesn’t come easily to him. Alex may be a Prince and a skilled warrior, but he’s never been meant to be in actual battle; he’s never quite mastered the art of showing no weakness.
“No, it’s not,” Cheshire growls, hitting harder, the clangs ringing around us. Alex dances like Cheshire taught him, his feet far slower than they should be.
Alex leaves his side open for a split second too long, and Cheshire kicks out his foot, tripping Alex and sending him to the stone so hard, I hear his teeth rattle. Alex tries to roll back to his feet, but Cheshire’s blade is there to stop him, pointed right beneath his chin as if this is an actual battle. Alex is breathing hard, his heavy pants sawing from his chest, his neck tilted up to avoid the sharp edge. Cheshire’s tail flicks back and forth behind him, the only sign of his tension.
“What are you doing?” I step forward, and Cheshire’s eyes flick t
o me for the barest second before they’re trained back on our friend.
“Teaching the Prince a lesson,” Chesh replies. “Stay away from my sister.”
“Cheshire!”
“She’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions.” Alex meets Cheshire head on, unflinching beneath his hard gaze, always the Prince even as he’s lying at the mercy of my brother.
“And when the Queen picks out your betrothed, what will you do then, hmm?”
“That’s enough!” I shove Cheshire off Alex and glare at him. “You don’t get to decide my fate, brother. Worry about your own.”
“Your fate will be to suffer a broken heart if you let those affections I see so clearly in your eyes fester.” Cheshire slides his sword away. “When he’s forced to marry a Queen, you will be left alone and in pain, pining for a Prince who didn’t care enough to leave you be.”
“That’s still my decision to make, Chesh. You cannot protect me. Besides, there’s nothing to worry about. We’re just friends.”
I can feel the twitch behind me, the hurt I’ve just caused, but I don’t turn. That would only prove to Cheshire that he’s right, and I can’t have him knowing, not if he’s going to threaten Alex.
“Best that’s all you are,” Cheshire nods. He leans to the side to glare at Alex again. “Hands off my sister, Your Majesty.”
“I don’t follow your orders, Cheshire.”
“Of course not. What Prince would listen to sound advice? Best not let the Queen find out.”
Cheshire is gone before I can say another word, and my breath leaves me in a rush. When I turn to Alex, his face is solemn.
“Just friends?” He meets my eyes. “Is that all that we are?”
I shake my head. “We have to be more careful. He’s right. If the Queen finds out, she will make sure we stay apart. And Cheshire cannot know. You saw how he reacted when he suspected. Imagine if he actually knew.”
“We’re not doing anything wrong.”
I don’t correct him, don’t tell him that we’re doing everything wrong. I am not royalty, not approved by the Queen. Alex will be crowned on his twenty-second birthday, and I will have to watch him bear the crown and take the hand of another woman. I already know our fates don’t intertwine. They can’t. I am nothing more than a creature of Wonderland.
A prince cannot marry a pauper.
No matter how much he may want to.
Chapter 2
Wonderland treats aging in an odd way. Sure, we grow older, and technically, I’m the ripe age of twenty, soon to be a year older if we go by the turnings of the clock, but we don’t measure things in such ways, not unless you’re someone important, like the Prince.
We live and we die, and that’s it. There is no marking of time to claim we made it to a certain age. There is nothing but Wonderland, and then when we die, there’s only the Here After.
Wonderland is a fickle world, determining fates as if it’s her only duty. Sometimes, I imagine a woman sitting at a table, dressed completely at odds in mismatched clothing, garish to the eyes, really, as she chuckles over her decisions. We’re just players on a chess board, moving in whatever way she sees fit. It’s the reason everyone is preparing for her decisions now, because we haven’t had any Sons for a long time. It’s time for some of her creatures to rise as protectors. It’s an event that spreads across the land, celebrations that will last for weeks once they are chosen. I’m looking forward to having time off from the Queen’s guard.
Cheshire and I had been accepted into her guard easily, Cheshire rising much faster than I ever could. While I’m skilled enough to be deemed a lieutenant of my own squadron, Cheshire has risen to the General in such a short time, it made history. He leads the entire guard, as he should. He’s the most skilled fighter in Wonderland, the perfect man to protect the crown.
We have a rare moment away from the castle, allowed to leave and prepare for the festival, but I have no obligations. Our parents had walked into the Here After years ago, leaving Cheshire and I alone. There’s no one waiting at home for me to help with sweet breads, and this festival is an intimate one; I wouldn’t be allowed to join other families in their preparations.
Now, I’m deep in the dark forest, sitting high in a tree, waiting for Cheshire to find me. My mind is awash with things it shouldn’t be such as Princes with too tempting lips, with clever hands. I’ve had to stay away from Alex, the Queen watching too closely when our eyes meet, and it’s killing me.
“Why are you in a tree?”
I smile when I hear Cheshire’s voice, leaning over the edge of the branch to grin at him.
“Aren’t we supposed to be living in the trees?”
“Sure, if we were feral creatures.” Cheshire scales the tree much faster than even my swift feet allow, and I scowl when he takes a seat beside me. Everything is always so easy for my brother. “Don’t be mad, Dani. You’re younger than I am.”
“Hardly.” I roll my eyes. “We might as well be the same age.”
“You’ll always be my silly little sister.” When he winks at me, I can’t help the smile that curls my lips.
“And you’ll always be my obnoxious big brother.”
We fall into a silence heavy with things we want to say. Cheshire and I have always been close, best friends even before Alex joined our group, but lately, we’ve been keeping far too many secrets from each other. I want to tell him about Alex, to reassure him I know how stupid it is. I know Alex will never marry me, he can’t, and I’ll have to watch him love someone else after he’s crowned. That knowledge doesn’t keep my heart from speeding up when he smiles at me. It doesn’t stop the stupid organ from beating out of my chest when he touches me.
Silly little sister, indeed. Cheshire sees right through me, but there hasn’t been any more threats from him towards Alex since that time. As the General, he’s supposed to keep his mouth shut, something that doesn’t come naturally, but I’m certain it’s for my feelings rather than any protocol. He knows I realize the idiocy I’m twisted in, and still he’s there for me.
Cheshire has his own secrets, ones I can see just as clearly as he sees mine. Being promoted to General was supposed to make Cheshire happy; that was always the plan. It’s the highest rank a Wonderland creature can hope to rise to without being chosen by the land herself. We should both be happy.
Instead, we’re both miserable.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I whisper, staring up through the tree canopy to the small amounts of dark sunlight that manage to filter through.
“Do you?”
I sigh. Of course, I don’t, but if Cheshire talks, I know I will spill everything. “Yes.”
Cheshire balances on the branch as if we’re not a hundred feet off the ground, his legs dangling over the side as if he’s sitting on the edge of a lake. “I want to leave.”
Surprised, I lean forward. “Leave where?”
“Wonderland. I want to leave Wonderland.”
“But why?”
He takes a deep breath, before his electric eyes finally meet mine. “Dani, when I set my sights on becoming General, I thought it would come with freedom. I thought I could have some control over my life.” He shakes his head. “I was naïve. There is no freedom here. If Wonderland isn’t moving us around like chess pieces, then the Queen and King are giving me more rules, more laws to make.”
“Shh.” I glance around us. “You shouldn’t be speaking of such things.”
“I don’t care. I’ve never cared. I only took the job because I knew you wanted to get higher ranking. I didn’t want you to do it alone.” I shake my head, already knowing where this is going, but Cheshire doesn’t let me speak. “No matter how much rank you put on, what title you bear, it will never be good enough to be Queen, Dani. You have to know that.”
I clench my jaw hard, so hard, it shoots pain through my head. Cheshire’s eyes are sad when he looks at me, and I realize he’s known all along. He’s had to, and why wouldn’t he? He’s
my best friend, my brother, after all.
“I do know that. I’m not stupid.”
“Then why do you keep doing this to yourself? He’ll be crowned in less than a year and married soon after to whatever woman the Queen approves of. A man who loves a woman would never do that to her.” His eyes say it all, that he thinks Alex doesn’t really love me at all. I can’t argue that point because I don’t really know. It doesn’t matter, anyway.
“You wouldn’t understand, Cheshire. You’ve never been in love. All you search for is freedom. There’s freedom in accepting what you cannot change as well.”
“That’s the exact opposite of freedom.”
I laugh, no humor in the sound. “One day, when a woman comes into your life and sweeps you off your feet, I can’t wait to tell you ‘I told you so.’” I meet his eyes. “And then, when you tell her that you want freedom more than her, I want you to look deep into her eyes and see what’s she’s feeling. If it doesn’t hurt you to say it, you’re not in love.”
“No one could ever love me.”
“I love you, even with all your attitude.”
“You don’t count. You have to love me. We’re family.”
“So, then trust me to know what I’m doing. I understand we aren’t meant to be. But let me just pretend for a little while that we are. I just want to enjoy the time I’m able to.”
Cheshire stares at me, studying me, looking for answers in my words.
“He’s worth a broken heart?”
I stare up at the leaves above me again, a phantom wind shaking them. In the distance, some creature howls, but I don’t worry. Nothing could ever sneak up on us.
“He’s worth many things,” I whisper, blinking back the tears that threaten to spill. “My broken heart will be nothing in the grand scheme of things.”
“And still, you love him?”
I nod my head. “Still, I love him.”
He sighs, his ears laying down on his head when he scrubs a hand through his hair.
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