A Dizzying Balance

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A Dizzying Balance Page 3

by Harriet E Rich


  “At this point, aside from my memory,” she grinned, “the most pressure I’ve had is trying to decide what to order for dinner.”

  “Good, keep it that way,” he laughed. “Mr. Manelli and your husband will be the only visitors allowed. I couldn’t order Mr. Manelli out if I tried, he’s made that perfectly clear, but I’ve asked him to keep his visits short. He tells me that he’s been your agent since the beginning of your career, so he is to talk only about those early years. We want you to ease into this slowly without feeling stressed.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Wisenbach. This hasn’t been easy for me, and I really appreciate all of your help.”

  “No problem. I understand that after you leave the hospital, you’ll be busy with Dr. Smith and your broken nose. After that, you and I will set up some appointments so I can keep tabs on your progress. For now, don´t worry about your memory or your nose. My prescription is rest and more rest.”

  So, she rested. When Tony came the next day, she realized how pleased she was to see him again. Smiling happily, he pushed the door open with his hip, juggling flowers, candy and a huge basket of fruit. “Hey, kid, how’s it going? Where do you want me to put all this?”

  “Good grief, Tony,” she said with a laugh, pointing at the basket. “Is there any fruit left anywhere in the whole of California?”

  “Maybe some, but not a helluva lot, I’d say.” He set the gifts down and pulled up a chair. “How are you feeling?”

  “Much better although I ache all over, especially my shoulder, and my throat still hurts. I must sound like a croaking toad.”

  He nodded and grinned. “And your face looks like it belongs in a low-budget horror film.”

  “Well, that brings my confidence down a peg or two, thank you very much. How about handing me some grapes?”

  She watched as he jumped up to untie the bow and pull the cellophane from the handle. He was a short, stocky man in his fifties with salt-and-pepper hair curling over his shirt collar, and laugh lines surrounding hazel-brown eyes deep-set under eyebrows the same grey as his hair. He handed her a bunch of lusciously green grapes, took an apple for himself, then sat down again and relaxed.

  “I can’t tell you how good it is to know you’re going to be all right. The doctors wouldn’t let me back in here until now, but they’ve told me that there’s nothing seriously wrong.”

  “Nothing except my memory or rather, the lack thereof.” Jen was nervously pulling grapes from the stem.

  “Hey, we’ll get through this.” He took a big bite of apple. “It’ll be okay, just you wait and see.”

  “Waiting is the hard part! Now, I’ve met you, Tony, and … and my husband,” it still wasn’t easy to say it out loud, “but Dr. Wisenbach said no other visitors? Tell me about some of the people in my life.”

  “I’d like to, Jen, but the Doc gave me strict orders. No visitors and not much talking either. He said that if I tell you all about everyone, then you might not be able to separate what you think you remember from what you remember me telling you. Once you’ve gotten your strength back, you’ll be able to handle it better.”

  “But –”

  “He wants you to recover your memory, but he doesn’t want you to rush it. Too much too soon might push your lost memories down even deeper. He said that the stronger you are, the better you’ll be able to cope.”

  “Okay,” she said, “I guess I have to agree but I won’t like it. David had some papers that he wanted me to read through.” She waved at the corner of the room. “He left a briefcase over there.”

  “And I gave it back to him. You’re not to be bothered by any of that stuff right now.”

  “He must have been very angry.” She had no doubt of it.

  “He was, but lately that seems to be his usual attitude toward you and me and all things Hollywood.” He lifted one shoulder as he took another bite. “He’ll get over it – or not. You don’t need to worry. He had to leave on a business trip up north and probably won’t be back before you’re ready to go home.”

  Jen was relieved. She wasn’t looking forward to seeing him again, but she didn’t want Tony to know it. She ate a few grapes and changed the subject. “All I know about you is that you’re my agent. What can you tell me?” She gave him a fierce frown. “Talk. Say something, anything, or I’ll throw these grapes at you.”

  “Hey, if you’re gonna start pitchin’ things my way, make it chocolate.” With a grin, he reached to put the box on her bed. “I’ll start at the beginning, okay?”

  “The beginning is always a good place,” she nodded solemnly. “So clear and unconfusing. I was eighteen when I came to Hollywood – just take it from there. And toss me one of those peaches.”

  So, Tony came every day but stayed only for about an hour each visit. They worked their way through the fruit and the chocolates while he talked about his own start in show business and how the two of them had met and struggled to keep going in the years before she’d become famous.

  “It was easy to get clients but not so easy to get good ones, and it was almost impossible to find them work. I represented an animal act once. They’d come into town for a job but got thrown out of their hotel and I had to put them up in my apartment.” He chuckled. “Two women, four dogs, three snakes and a tiger cub. They also had half a dozen mice that I thought were part of the act ….”

  “But they weren’t?”

  “No, they were just there for the snakes.”

  And the next day.

  “I discovered you in a coffee shop –”

  “Not a drug store?”

  Tony snorted. “That old story about the drug store is all wrong. Lana Turner was in the Top Hat Café when she was discovered.” He waggled a finger at her. “And don’t try sidetracking me like that. I found you in an ordinary little coffee shop. You’d just finished your shift and were sitting in a corner booth way in the back counting your tips and rolling them up in wrappers. The lamp over the booth was shining on that glorious red hair of yours like a spotlight and I couldn’t help staring. You were beautiful. Real and make-believe at the same time.

  “Anyway, like I was saying, you had little piles of coins all over the table – quarters, pennies, nickels – but you were one short for a roll. Well, you knew I’d been watching you for at least five minutes, so you sat back and fluffed up your hair and gave me this long, slow look. Then you suddenly grinned and said ‘Hey, buddy, can you spare a dime?’ He chuckled as Jen laughed out loud.

  “I said that?”

  “You did. We sat together and talked for hours. You were delightful, clever, audacious and I wasn’t in the least surprised to find out you wanted to be an actress. I mean, the timing and delivery of that line were perfect! If you hadn’t mentioned acting. I’d have brought it up myself. You were a natural. Just eighteen, only a kid, but I could tell you’d had some training and some good experience.”

  “High school …”

  “You remember?”

  “Yes,” she said breathing in slowly, “I guess I do.” She was staring at the white knuckles of her clenched hands and tried to relax. “It’s so hard! Just flashes. High school … and … community theater, I think.” She shook her head. “It’s gone.”

  “You did remember it right, Jen. That’s great!”

  And the day after that.

  “We’d been working together maybe two years and you were starting to get some more or less steady work. You’d done a number of local television commercials, and you had a job on a Saturday morning kids’ show as a chipmunk. No talking, but the costume and make-up were cute. I remember your saying it was forcing you to learn how to use expressions and gestures in place of words. Not a bad thing.

  “I was working on getting you a small part as Miss sixth- or seventh- or ninth-runner-up in some movie about a beauty contest when my appendix blew up on me and I damn near died. It brought me up short. I mean, who thinks about dying at forty-six? Well, I did, long and hard.

  “I knew you w
ere going to make it sooner or later, with Tony Manelli as your agent or not, but there’s no getting around the fact that while you’re working and waiting for your first big break, you still gotta pay the rent and put clothes on your back. So, I went out and bought a fifty-thousand-dollar life insurance policy and made you the beneficiary. As long as I was alive, I could help with your career but if I died, you’d have something to live on so you could stay in the business and keep on working.”

  Jen smiled through her tears. “Oh, Tony, that’s so sweet. You were – you are a good friend.”

  One afternoon, Tony had gone out to get coffee, and Jen was lying in bed feeling tired, trying to find a comfortable position for her shoulder while the nurse took her blood pressure. She looked up as the door opened a crack and a funny little hand puppet with green-yarn hair and brown button eyes popped its head in.

  “They say you’re doing poorly, ma’am, so we’ve come to cheer you up a bit. May we come in?”

  Jen smiled. “Yes, of course.”

  The puppet came into the room carried by a rather nondescript young man wearing glasses and a baseball cap. He had on khaki work clothes with a hospital identification badge clipped to one pocket. Pointing to it, he said, “The name’s Cliff, ma’am, one of the janitors. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but my mama is maybe your biggest fan. When she heard that you were here, she just begged me to try to see you and bring you this get-well card.” He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket. “I hope you’re not angry.”

  “Not at all. It was very kind of your mother, and you, to go to so much trouble. I was feeling a little sorry for myself, and you’ve cheered me up immensely.”

  The nurse interrupted. “But you’re not supposed to be bothered.”

  “It’s all right. I don’t mind.” She turned to the young man. “Can you stay a while? Tell me about your mother.”

  With a smile the young man pulled a chair up to the bed as the nurse left. He wasn’t anyone she was supposed to know, so she didn’t have to worry about her memory. She listened while he talked and told him about the accident and how she was feeling.

  Cliff stood up to leave when Tony came back. He waggled the puppet at her and grinned.

  “Thanks, ma’am. Mom will cherish it always. I’d better go now.”

  “Thank you for coming. I’m glad we had this chance to talk,” she smiled.

  Tony closed the door behind him. “Who was that? Cherish what?”

  “A very nice young man who came in to cheer me up and to ask for an autograph for his mother.”

  “How did he get in? Nobody’s supposed to be annoying you!”

  “Oh, Tony, I wasn’t at all annoyed so don’t worry about it. Much as I have come to love your smiling face, it was good to talk to someone else for a change. And his mother is a fan of mine.” She gave him a happy look. “It was just what I needed.”

  * * *

  Tony set the overnight bag down and hung the clothes behind the door.

  “I’ve already taken care of the hospital paperwork. As soon as you’re dressed, I can hustle you out the back door and we’ll drive away while the Doc is giving the reporters an update on the front steps. By the time they realize you’re not coming out, we’ll be on our way to the estate and it’ll be too late.”

  “No.” She shook her head. “They’ll just rush up there and camp outside. They don’t want an interview. They want pictures of the ‘beautiful and glamorous’ Jennette Colson with a broken nose. If they don’t get them here, they’ll be climbing fences and hanging out of trees.” She paused. “David would be angry.”

  Tony laughed shortly. “That’s an understatement if ever I heard one. He’d be livid.” He helped her out of bed. “Okay if you insist, how ‘bout if we really play it up? You go easy on the makeup around those bruises and I’ll find the nurse to help you put that really big sling on your arm. Maybe a little wider bandage across your nose? You walk out leaning on me, and I’ll hold you around your waist for support.”

  She grinned. “They don’t want to see me at death’s door, but you’ve got the idea. Color photos in all the magazines of me and my broken nose will be a small price to pay for peace and quiet at … at home.”

  “Right. You should have everything you need here in the suitcase, and I got you a new cape.” Shaking out its folds, he added grimly, “I had to throw the other one out.”

  When she was ready, he came back to gather up her things. The dress hung on her. With a sigh she slipped on the shoes and frowned as their backs rubbed her heels.

  “You’ve lost weight, but we’ll soon get the roses back in your cheeks.”

  “I hope so,” she sighed. “Surely there are easier ways to be thin for the camera.”

  “Ready?”

  A knot of anxiety had formed in her stomach, but she took a deep breath to ease it a little and nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” She smiled and sent a little wave of goodbye toward her painting as Tony took her arm.

  “I know it’s going to be difficult for you, Jen, but you’re a trouper.”

  Yes, it was going to be difficult.

  Chapter Five

  She survived the interview with the reporters.

  Tony called each one by name so that she could follow his lead, and she kept her answers brief but friendly. “I don’t remember the accident or the three to four weeks just before it, but the doctors say that that’s quite common with a head injury.”

  “When do you think you’ll remember?”

  “Dr. Addoms?” She stepped back to let the doctor move to the microphones.

  “First, let me say that Miss Colson’s medical condition is excellent. Physically, she is recovering very rapidly from the injuries she sustained in the accident. However, amnesia often occurs with head trauma of the nature that she suffered, as Mr. Manelli has told you. In almost every case, memory returns completely. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later. Sometimes it comes back all at once in a flash, but more often, memories return slowly in bits and pieces over a longer period.”

  “She’s gonna be fine, right, Doc?”

  “She is fine and should be completely well in no time at all.”

  “Miss Colson, how soon will you be back to work?”

  “Behind the scenes? When I’ve gotten some of my strength back, but in front of the cameras?” She touched the bandage across her nose. “This will take some time.” She grinned and they all laughed.

  There had been more questions, more answers and dozens of clicking cameras, but finally it was over. Tony helped her fasten the seat belt and as they pulled away from the curb, she shifted in her seat trying to relax. The sun glinted from the square-cut diamond and she straightened it against the plain gold band. Remembering David’s angry face, she leaned her head back, feeling a wave of weariness wash over her. “You don’t mind if I close my eyes and rest, do you, Tony?”

  “Not at all, kid, you must be exhausted. Just take it easy and we’ll be there before you know it.”

  When the car pulled off the freeway and started to climb, she opened her eyes. Lovely rolling hills, pretty wildflowers, open fields dotted with stands of green trees. Nothing looked familiar but as they drove higher, her anxiety returned. The accident must have happened somewhere along this road. Beyond that was … home and she had no idea who, or what, was waiting for her.

  The road had been following a high stone wall to its right for some time when they rounded a bend and Tony braked to a halt in front of wide wrought iron gates. In a band of open metalwork across the top was the name Kenting. Tony pushed a button on the dash, the gates swung silently open, and as they drove through, Jen felt rather than heard them swing shut again. She imagined an ominous click as they closed.

  It was a steep drive that snaked up the hill bordered on both sides by bright azaleas and tall pine trees. At the top, it took one last turn and the house came suddenly into view. They had called it an estate and it was most definitely that. There was a vast open field in fron
t dropping away to a belt of trees with a pond down to the left. Above and behind, the hill continued upward covered thickly with more trees. The house itself was three stories, built of golden-beige fieldstone, with a central block and two large wings that swept forward forming a wide arc. A smaller arc in front was a broad apron of garden that added color and style to the rather stern façade of the structure. It was all more than a little overwhelming, and Jen felt her anxiety grow.

  Tony drove the car into the circular parking area between garden and house and stopped at the shallow front steps. “We usually park behind the house near the garages and come in through the back, but I’m just going to drop you off. I’ve got to get home to change and take care of some business.”

  Jen looked up at him as he helped her out. “You … you don’t live here? I assumed …” She shook her head. “Of course, you don’t. How foolish of me.”

  “I do have a room here that I use if we’re working late, but my house’s in a small town ten miles around and over the hill.” He saw the disappointment on her face. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll be back tomorrow – I’m in and out all the time. Let me get your things.”

  The front door opened, and Jen looked up to see a heavy-set woman in her late fifties wearing a print dress and a frown.

  As they walked up the steps, Tony said under his breath, “That’s Mrs. Grider, the housekeeper.”

  She was staring at Jen, her lips pressed together in a thin line. “So, you’re back … Miss Colson,” she added grudgingly.

  “Thelma, would you take Jennette’s suitcase upstairs?” Tony helped Jen off with her cape and handed it and the bag to the housekeeper.

  She was turning to leave when a car pulled into the drive. “Here’s the police back again,” she said as she started up the stairs.

  “Oh, hell,” Tony muttered. “I’ve gotta go.” He gave Jen a quick hug and left.

  Watching him hurry down the steps and drive away, she felt abandoned. He was the only familiar thing in her now unfamiliar world. This was supposed to be her house but it was full of strangers, unknown and somehow frightening. She rubbed the spot above her eyes where the pain was centered.

 

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