"Grab my cock, please," he said it so innocently, and then, "Gabby, can you grab my pot, please," pointing to the cabinets. He found his messing with me hilarious. The problem was he didn't always mess with me. I really did have a dirty mind.
He had his back to me the other day and said something, but all I made out was butt squeeze. I knew it wasn't him messing with me, because he didn't repeat himself and looked at me funny. He asked me what I was thinking about so hard. I was pretty sure he had said something about birdseed, not me giving his butt a squeeze.
I was tempted to just act out what he teased me with. One of these days, he would ask me to grab his cock, and I would just do it, before he could say the next line. I was seriously trying to come up with something to say like that. He was way too good at coming up with phrases he could make double as something else. I did come up with one, but I hadn't found a good time to use it. I was going to ask him to grab my boobs while pointing to my books, because I would've supposedly asked him to grab my books. Damn, I wished he would grab my books and play with the page corners.
There was this space between us, like he was teasing me to come closer, but at the same time stepping back. I wondered if it was his way of getting me back for hurting him. The thing was, we were still us. We still fed the animals, hiked, had picnics, and played chess. We sang goofy songs, and he still creeped me out with his complete disregard for my PMS. No man should ever be that comfortable with menstruating, no matter how many sisters he had.
We did make a fire circle with some big rocks and made s'mores a couple of times. They were our after-dinner dessert. I had caught him looking at my chocolate-smeared mouth, and his leg started bouncing. I was hoping it was because he wanted to kiss me, and not because he was anal about keeping things clean. After living with him for over a month, I noticed he liked things a certain way. I had been the brunt of a lot of his jokes, and it was making me nuts. It was time to turn the tables on him. He couldn't torture me like that forever.
He wasn't really obsessive about cleaning things, but he did like to keep things in order. He never got mad, just changed things if I didn't do it right. I couldn't resist messing with him to get him back. When I put the dishes away, I would put the little forks where the big ones were stacked. He never said anything to me about it, but would take the time to fix it as soon as he noticed. He kept the towels on one shelf and the washcloths on another, and I would mix them up. I would put one stack of each on both shelves. He had no clue I was messing with him, but I was. He almost caught on, when I put my light blanket on top of my heavy blanket. He helped me remake my bed and noticed my smirk. Hopefully, he thought it was an "I'm horny" smirk and not a "Ha, sucker!" smirk.
When it came time to use the grab-my-boob line, things got weird. It was pond cleaning day. I would admit to wearing a white shirt and getting it a little wet. Not on purpose, of course, but it was wet and sheer, and Daniel definitely noticed.
I told him to take a shower first and asked him to grab my boob, so I could read while I waited for him to get out. He cleared his throat, saw I was pointing at my book and said, "Yeah, sure." I didn't think I had executed that right. He might have actually misheard and thought I had said book. I couldn't tell him I hadn't and come off as a pervert. Lord help me. I had to find another way to get him back, and not just get even, but get him to act like my silly sweet Daniel again.
Soaking my shirt so it was transparent and sending him off to the shower first had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it was just uncomfortable. My shirt was sopping wet. I decided to change out of it really fast, hoping to be done with it before he got out of the shower. I took off my shirt and bra, sticking them in the washer like we usually did after our workday. When I turned around to grab a shirt, I found Daniel standing behind me, his towel over his shoulder. The closet seemed so very tiny compared to the size of his…muscles. He wasn't covered, at all, anywhere. My eyes were stuck, and I think I was drooling.
He swore, and his hand dropped to cover himself. I was able to make my eyes move up his body, only to find his eyes stuck on my breasts. I had sort of forgotten about those when I saw his dick.
"Gabby?" He sounded so pained, like he couldn't breathe. He pulled the towel off his shoulder and moved it around his waist.
"Wet, I'm wet…was wet," I stuttered.
"You mind…?"
"Yes, yeah, right, sure, out, naked…" I waved my hands like a freak and ran out of the room, only to realize I didn't have a shirt. So yeah, topless in the living area, by myself. Thank god it was a secluded cabin, with no sneaky binocular-wielding neighbors.
When he stepped out, I kept my back to him and my boobs covered. "I, ah, forgot to grab a shirt."
"Yeah," was all he said. He was really leaving me hanging.
"I'm gonna go take a shower."
"M'kay," was his answer, but when I turned around, I realized he was standing in front of the bedroom door, and his eyes were stuck on what my hands were covering.
"Daniel?"
He cleared his throat. "Yeah?" His eyes didn't budge.
"Shower."
"Yeah, nice."
"I need to take one."
"Sure." You would have thought there was superglue on his eyes. He obviously wasn't coherent, and I made a messed up split decision. I moved my hands.
His eyes went huge, and his breathing became rough. I got nervous and covered them up quickly, and that seemed to do the trick, his eyes snapping up to my very red face. "You're in front of the door."
He looked behind himself like he was surprised. He jumped away from it like it was attacking him, and I ran for the bathroom. He wasn't there when I got out. I couldn't blame him. I wasn't sure I was ready to face him, either.
At dinner, things got really weird. We were sitting over our bowls of stew, and he seemed really focused on his spoon, before he said, "So, nice boobs."
He just threw it out there, like he was saying, "Nice day."
"Um, yeah…you, too…big, good for…ah…twelve kids," I ended up just nodding my head. I could see why his mom kept going after it, if his dad was hung like that.
He burst out laughing. "Thanks."
"Yeah, sure."
"Chess?"
I misheard him and covered myself, looking down.
"The game?"
"Right, right, yeah, I knew that. Sounds fun, good. I want to play."
"Cool, I want to, too."
He set up the board, and I tried to convince myself that I didn't have to hold my shirt on to cover my boobs. We settled in, and he let me make the first move.
"Sorry," he said, not telling me for what, but I think we both knew.
"Me, too," I whispered.
The game was quiet. There was no taunting or teasing. We played it to pass the time, to make the day go faster, and to end the evening. Once the third game was over, we would go our separate ways and hopefully wake up believing this had all been a messed-up dream.
I won the second and last game, making me the overall winner.
"Good job," he offered.
"Thanks." I helped gather the pieces and pack them away. I almost felt like I should shake his hand and say good game, but I didn't. He took the chessboard to his room, and I went to bed.
Being naked had hit the reset button on Daniel. The dirty jokes stopped, and the rambling was back and apparently contagious. I found myself giving a long stuttering response about using a bookmark as opposed to laying the book down open or bending the corner of the page. There was no reason for it, either. He was just handing me the damn thing, and the bookmark wasn't even in danger of falling out.
His torrent on using garlic instead of onions was pretty comparable, though he made some good points. Bugs didn't like either one, but eating garlic could possibly stop them from biting you, and that was not true for an onion. They did keep bugs out of the garden, but not off your skin. At least his rambling was educational.
The rest of the week went on in this rambling
, painful way. When it was time to go shopping, we sat in silence in the truck cab. I couldn't take it. I started singing, using full-on hand motions and everything.
"I looked out the window and what did I see? Popcorn popping on an apricot tree. Spring had brought me such a nice surprise, blossoms popping right before my eyes. I could take armful and make a treat, a popcorn ball that would smell so sweet. It wasn't really so, but it seemed to me, popcorn popping on the apricot tree."
When I finished up, Daniel was laughing so hard he was struggling to not swerve the truck.
"Your turn," I said with a big grin, and just like that, we were us again.
He grabbed a few tins of Jiffy-Pop to cook over the campfire and waved them at me. "I'm craving popcorn."
I shrugged. "I wonder why?"
We hokey-pokeyed on the way home, and we were happy and we knew it, clapping our hands.
That night, we made the popcorn, and I taught him the popcorn popping song, hand motions and all. I wouldn't be singing it solo again. Though it did lead to him singing ten little monkeys jumping on the bed by himself. I helped him with the last few verses. There were ten of them, and I wasn't going to make him sing them all by himself. It was pretty funny, when he would sing the doctor's part with a deep voice.
We started goofing off around the fire, catching popcorn we tossed in our mouths, leaving the rest for the birds after the fire had died down. I brought him a bucket of water to pour over the hot coals, and he took it with a big beard-covered grin. "Thanks," he said, but it sounded like he was thanking me for more than the bucket of water.
Then next morning, he shaved.
Chapter 16 – With Friends Like That…
Things with Daniel were great. We were back to being comfortable and goofy. He was easily my best friend, and since he never mentioned anyone else, I figured I was his best friend. That was until someone else came up his driveway, and he smiled excitedly.
My insides twisted, and for some insane reason, I was jealous that he was smiling about something that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with someone else. The car had not even stopped yet, but Daniel was running out to meet them. Even after they parked, I couldn't see the person driving. I really, really didn't want it to be a girl. He pulled the door open and yanked a guy into his arms. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then I saw them laughing and hugging, and I freaked out, scared that he would be gay. I wrapped my arms around myself insecurely and remembered I had boobs, nice boobs according to him, and his eyes had been stuck on them. He was just good friends with this guy.
I was standing in the doorway, and the guy didn't notice me until they reached the porch. "Hot damn, you have a girl out here."
Daniel rolled his eyes. "Gabby, this is Jerry, my friend from school."
"So, Daniel, you found a girl who likes to play recluse with you?"
"It's nice out here," I defended.
For some reason, that just made the pair of them smile even bigger. I stepped out of the doorway and let them in. I was hoping I could somehow disappear into the walls or something, but this place was so small, there was no "out-of-the-way" place to be.
"What have you been up to, my man?" Jerry asked and plopped down on the couch.
Daniel leaned against the hearth, still wearing that grin I claimed as mine. "Gabby's been keeping me busy."
"I'll bet she has," he taunted.
We both turned a deep red. "It's not…we're just…you know, doing stuff," he tried to defend.
I picked up my book off the couch. "I'll be out on the swing."
Daniel nodded at me, and I would swear Jerry was looking right through my clothes.
"Dude!" I looked back to see Daniel kick Jerry's foot.
"I'm not touching," Jerry put his hands up in the air.
I didn't know how long I had been on the back porch, when Daniel called me in. "Dinner's ready."
"Are we doing s'mores after?" I asked, taking the milk to the table.
"Yeah, Daniel, I want s'more." I didn't know what was with Jerry, but he seemed like an ass to me.
"Sure, we can have s'mores, if that's what you want, Gabby." Daniel glared at Jerry, as if he was making sure he knew he wasn't giving in to him.
Jerry kept smirking at me, and I could tell the goofballs were kicking at each other under the table like toddlers. I had half a mind to nail them both in the shins.
The two of them were throwing marshmallows at each other, and then Jerry started to show off by juggling. I left the pair of them to go shower. I had finished dressing and opened the bedroom door, only to have Daniel push me back inside.
He shut it behind me, leaning against it. He looked like he was working up the courage to say something, so I waited. When he looked up at me, I could tell he was stressed. "So, here's the thing. Jerry is an asshole. He's cool when it's just us, but if there's a female…hell, it could even be a female animal, for some reason he goes a little nuts. He's not humping your leg yet, but I suggest you not dance with him, because he will, and you shouldn't get too close to him, because he will grab your boobs." He rubbed his face and sat on the bed, looking much too tired. "He thinks we're together, that's why he hasn't 'put the moves on you' yet. So, unless you…um…I guess if…I don't…ah…" He sounded like he was choking.
"Dating is cool. How are we playing it? How serious are we?"
A smile cracked on his face, and he let out a relieved breath. "I don't know, just whatever you want."
"Okay, since I've seen you naked, I think I can fake your lover. Are you cool with that?"
He blushed a deep red, but nodded yes.
"Okay, let's do this," I said like a football player.
We stepped out of the bedroom, and Jerry looked me up and down. I was so glad I had put on a night bra. "Do you need to wash up?" I asked.
He started toward me, and I stepped back by Daniel and leaned into him. Daniel wrapped his arm around my waist. Jerry took in the move and smirked. "I guess you'll have to help Daniel in the shower instead of me."
"Yup," I said, like it was nothing.
Once he disappeared into the bedroom, Daniel moved to the couch. His head was in his hands. "He's spending the night. He'll take your bed, and you'll take mine. I'll sleep on the couch under the guise that you kicked me out, because my friend is a sick bastard."
"He is, but that's kind of a petty reason for kicking you out. I think we should come up with something better."
He looked over at me and chuckled. "Okay, why are you pissed at me?"
"We should make it good, like you were too rough last night, and you have to sleep out here to keep your hands to yourself."
He outright laughed. "How about I called your mom a bitch?"
"She is, maybe you called an old girlfriend?"
"Don't have one and he knows that. How about I won't let you have a dog."
"You won't, why not?"
"They'd chase off all the animals and poop in the yard."
I leaned back, nodding in agreement. "I don't want a dog."
"Gabby," he whined.
"Fine, you were looking at porn."
He smiled widely. "He'd believe that. Okay, I have a porn problem, and you find it offensive."
"I would, you know."
"Good to know. I don't look at that stuff, but I know he does."
"Alright, should we move this to the study, so it can look like I caught you?"
"I don't want to pull up one of those sights. They're full of all sorts of viruses and tags."
"I thought you didn't look at porn."
"I don't, but I've fixed several computers before I settled out here."
"Okay." I flopped back on the chair that was usually my bed. "Are we gonna play this by ear?"
Just as I said that, Jerry started moaning. Daniel's eyes went wide, and I looked at the thin wall, praying I wasn't actually hearing what I thought I was. Jerry started cussing and talking dirty. Daniel looked like he was going to puke. "I can't believe he's doing tha
t in my shower!"
"I'm not cleaning that up." There was no way I was going near that.
Daniel was hiding his face from me again. "I'm so sorry, Gabby. I can't believe this. At least it's not in your bed."
I heard the bedroom door open and snapped into my role. "How could you, Daniel?"
He looked at me surprised, and I realized he didn't know we were acting.
"You freak and your porn, I'm sick of it. I'm not doing anal, it's just gross."
I stormed out and shoved passed Jerry, slamming the door. I heard Jerry laughing loudly and knew it had worked. I found the extra bedding in the closet and figured I would have to throw it at him. I walked out and found the pair of them smirking. I couldn't have that. "You asshole, you think this is funny?" I threw the blanket on the couch, but swung the pillow at him several times, beating him with it. "You and your big titty obsession, they're fake in that shit. I have boobs, and they're real, how can you not like my boobs? Do you know how that makes me feel? Like my boobs aren't enough, that my body isn't enough for you!"
"I love your boobs!" he shouted at me.
"Your body is banging," Jerry chimed in.
"Oh, shut up, Mr. Jack-off, you're so cleaning my shower, you sick bastard! The pair of you stay out of the bedroom."
I rushed out of the room, slamming the bedroom door and belly flopped on the bed, hiding my giggles in the pillow. The look on Daniel's face was priceless. He had been mortified when I had said anal and panicked when I was shouting about my boobs. It took me a while to wind down from my fake fight, but I did eventually fall asleep.
I woke to grunting and was really scared to open my eyes. "Whoever is in the bathroom better not be getting off!"
"Nah, sugar, Daniel has me on shower duty," Jerry said with an eye roll. "You know that wouldn't have happened if you would've joined me."
"I'm with Daniel."
"And how's that working for you?"
"Have you seen his dick? You went to school together. You must've been in gym together at one point. Believe me, I don't need anything else. I doubt you could ever live up to the weapon he carries in his pants."
Straight Up Interfererence Page 11