“Nah, I mean he’s livid with me, but he wouldn’t snitch, especially if it would fuck up Reagan’s day.”
“Good,” Kensie yawned.
“You know Reagan is the only reason I’m agreeing to this, don’t you? I couldn’t care less about Trey’s feelings.”
“I understand,” she yawned again.
“Go to sleep.”
Kensie smiled to herself. “I will, just one more thing.”
“I don’t think I can handle anything else from you tonight, Friend.”
“This is a good one. I promise,” she mumbled. Her medicine was starting to kick in and she was barely hanging on. “I got the job.”
“No way.”
“Yep.”
“I didn’t doubt you for a second.”
“Mmm.” Her eyelids fluttered.
“Sweet dreams, Friend.” She could feel his lips pressing gently against hers as she drifted off to sleep.
Sex complicated things.
Kensie certainly wasn’t going to win a Nobel Peace Prize for her revelation. Nothing groundbreaking or Pulitzer worthy about it, but there was something to be said for clichés. They’re relatable, that’s how they became cliché to begin with.
Sex complicated things.
A truth, universally acknowledged, that sucker punched Kensington Grace Roth right into the friend zone. It’s what she wanted, of course, but Carter didn’t have to be so goddamned agreeable.
He remained by her side for most of the weekend, catering to her every whim. When she was cold, he got her a blanket. When she was thirsty, he got her a drink, and when she was bored, he read from her favorite novel. He only left her once in the span of three days, and only because Lithium Springs had a gig at some bar Kensie had been too drowsy to catch the name of.
Without the distraction of sex, Carter and Kensie got the chance to get to know each other. They talked about everything, philosophy, politics, music, food, and art, and when the words ran dry and her throat was too raw to continue, he pulled out her collection of Disney movies and they lost themselves in fairy tales.
Carter stayed true to his word. He was the perfect gentleman. His hands stayed above her waist but below her chest. His kisses were sweet little pecks dotted across her face, and his penis stayed safely tucked away in his pants. It didn’t even make an appearance Saturday night when he came stumbling into her room after his show, reeking of whiskey.
A tiny part of her wished it had.
A tiny part of her missed it.
Sex complicated things, but this new side of Carter—the kind, funny, and smart man hiding beneath the tattooed asshole—threatened to crumble her resolve.
Kensie stepped out of the shower and onto the plush bath mat. Though the hot water helped rinse away the residual cold, she still felt a little like death and sounded a lot like a man. She dried off and made her way into her bedroom. Bacon, coffee, and something distinctly cinnamon, scented the air. A violent growl emanated from her belly. After two days on the chicken broth and cold medicine diet, solid food was high on Kensington’s list of things to do, but first she needed to get ready. It was the Fourth of July and Lithium Springs had a show.
She pulled on the waiting red and white tank with a smirk. Lithium Springs on her front and Carter on her back. They may not have been having sex, but that didn’t stop him from claiming her, and it didn’t stop her from basking in the attention.
Sex complicated things, she reminded herself as she finished getting ready and made her way through the apartment. Carter was in the kitchen, standing with his back to her. He wore a pair of loose-fitting camo shorts and a shirt identical to hers. The bright tattoos on his arms danced as he divided scrambled eggs onto three separate plates.
Kensie leaned on her elbows, admiring the view. Carter’s body was a work of art. The muscles in his back flexed as he moved clumsily around to the toaster, plucking the golden-brown bread up and dropping it onto the plates. When he bent to pull the pan of bacon from the oven, Kensie lost it. His ass in those shorts! “Mmm,” she groaned, the sound, vulgar and objectifying.
Carter threw a glance over his shoulder, grinning wildly as their eyes met. “Are you staring at my ass?”
“I can’t help it,” she shrugged, “you have a very nice ass.”
That earned her a hardy laugh. “I thought we were practicing abstinence?”
“We are, but I’m not blind.”
“Does that mean it feels right?” he asked.
Kensie shook her head slowly, only vaguely registering the sound of his voice. The way the vein in his biceps pulsed as he piled slices of bacon—real bacon—onto plates rendered her speechless.
“What about…other stuff?” He was renegotiating the terms of their friendship.
She exhaled her consent. “I’m okay with other stuff.”
Carter lifted two of the plates off the counter and sauntered over to her. The closer he got, the more her resolve weakened. “Bon appetit.” His husky voice was deep, rich, and manly. Kensie suddenly felt lightheaded and it had nothing to do with her cold. “I only had one lesson, so it might not be perfect,” he cautioned as worry crept into his blue eyes.
Kensie giggled nervously, shaking off the spell Carter seemed to cast simply by being near. Tearing her eyes from his, she glanced down at the plate. Her first solid food in three days consisted of undercooked bacon, soggy French toast, and charred eggs. She had beaten the common cold, only to be taken down by salmonella.
There were a million ways to describe Carter: rocker sex god, loyal friend, unbearable jackass, but in this moment, the only one word that fit—adorable. “I’m sure it’s great,” she said. She was going to eat the damn eggs, even if it meant her being back on the couch for another week. He was trying. He’d done everything she’d asked; surely she could suffer through this for him.
Crunch.
Crunch.
Crunch.
“It’s…great…” she lied, doing her best to plaster a smile on her face. In truth, it was quite possibly the worst thing she’d ever tasted, but a small price to pay to see the look of pure joy stamped on his handsome face as he watched her eat.
“Cool.” He grinned, brimming with pride. “Coffee or juice?”
“Coffee, please.” She gulped, forcing down the crunchy eggs.
Carter poured them each a cup and came around to sit on the stool next to her. He grabbed his fork and dug into the eggs. His face contorted in disgust. “This is fucking awful,” he spit. “God, why didn’t you tell me this was so bad?”
Kensie couldn’t help her laughter. She laughed so hard her chest started to burn and her giggles turned into a coughing fit. “I’m sorry,” she sputtered. “You just looked so proud of yourself. I didn’t have the heart to tell you.”
“Aww, Friend, you’d risk food poisoning for me?” he joked, pulling her off her stool and between his legs. His arms swallowed her whole, the warmth of his embrace made her knees weak, and when he kissed the tip of her nose, the butterflies returned. The sun shone, the birds chirped, and somewhere, tiny mice dressed in tiny little hats danced with glee. Peter Pan had a little Charming in him after all.
“Apparently.” She blushed. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as she tried to make sense of her emotions. Can there be love without trust? Did she trust him? Did he trust her? Then there was Reagan’s wedding and the inevitable reunion with Trey. But even with all the fucked-up shit standing in their way, being in his arms felt right.
“Stop biting your lip,” he rested his forehead against hers, “unless it’s my turn next.”
Yes! she thought. Oh God, how she wanted him to bite her lip. In truth, she wanted to feel his teeth nip at every inch of her flesh. She wanted him to bite his way down her body and lose himself inside her thighs. She wanted to run her fingers through his unruly hair as he drove into her mercilessly, but the only way they could work is if they took things slowly.
No sex.
No sex.
No
sex.
“Carter.”
“I thought other stuff was allowed,” he murmured, running his hands down her ribcage and around to her ass.
“I just don’t want to get so caught up in the other stuff that we lose track of what we’re trying to do.”
“What are we doing?” he asked into her neck.
Kiss.
Bite.
Lick.
Repeat.
“Building forever,” she breathed. She wasn’t sure where it came from, but now that it was out there, floating in the space between them, she couldn’t take it back. Instead, she braced herself for his reaction.
“I’m not a fairy-tale kind of guy, Kensington.”
“I’m not asking you to be. If that’s what I was looking for I would have stayed with Trey.” She could feel him wince at the mention of her ex, but she ignored it. She couldn’t erase her past any more than he could erase his. “I like being so wrapped up in you that I let you fuck me on a folding table in your backyard. I don’t want any of that stuff to change. I’m just asking for other stuff, too,” she said, using his words against him.
“Other stuff,” he repeated, testing the weight of it on his tongue.
“I want it all—one day—and I’d like to have it with you.”
“No pressure,” he teased. His hands flexed on her ass and he buried his nose deeper into the crook of her neck.
“I’m not trying to pressure you, but you need to know where I stand. I’m not cool like Jam. I don’t do casual well, but I’m also not willing to lose myself in the men I love anymore. I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not to please you. I don’t need a ring tomorrow, but I will need one someday, when it feels right, so if that’s not where this is heading, then maybe it’s good things happened the way they did.”
“Do you remember the night we first met, and I said that I didn’t want to be your boyfriend?”
Kensie swallowed. She remembered those words and they weren’t what she wanted to hear, especially now with her heart on the table. “I do.”
“Do you know when I changed my mind?” he asked, and she shook her head. “That same night. You and Kitty Cat were sitting on the couch talking. Your hair was a disaster, your makeup was smudged, and your feet were dirty from walking around all night barefoot. It was kind of gross, but also kind of perfect. You want everyone to think that you’re this pretty pink princess, but that night, you weren’t playing dress up. You weren’t slummin’ it with your friend. You belonged there just as much as Kitty Cat. The only problem is, I’m not Ry. I’m not good. You told me you had a boyfriend and I should have left you alone, but I’m selfish and impulsive. Seeing you on my couch, wild and carefree, I knew—questionable hygiene aside—I was a goner. One night with you would never be enough. I could never put you in a cage. I don’t want to change you. I want to soar with you.”
Water pooled in Kensie’s eyes as she swatted Carter in the chest. “Not the fairy-tale kinda guy, huh?”
“I’m a quick learner.”
The Pike Market Music Festival was a big deal in Seattle. The entire city converged at Gas Works Park to listen to live music and binge eat deep fried food. Kids ran free, bouncing back and forth between games and rides, hyped up on powdered sugar and adrenaline. It was a community effort. Local breweries sampled craft beer, and even companies like the one Kensie’s father ran donated food, money, and resources to ensure the festival was a success.
They’d arrived at the venue a little before eleven. The sun glinted off the lake. The sky a mosaic of blues and white. The grass as green as Kensie had ever seen it. Every experience was heightened in Carter’s presence.
She watched in awe as crews worked together to prepare for the start of the festival. The park buzzed with activity. It was hectic, but everyone moved with a singular purpose. A wall of food trucks lined the perimeter of the park, game stations to the west, craft vendors to the east, and in the center of it all, like a beacon guiding them home, was the main stage. Kensie and Jam followed the band as they made their way through the chaos and to the security table. There was a small line comprised of other bands, crew members, and fans looking to score the coveted VIP lanyard. Kensie recognized one of the faces in the crowd. She shifted uncomfortably as Carter’s older brother approached them wearing khaki shorts and a black Lithium t-shirt.
This was a mistake.
Kensie had been so excited to get out of the apartment that she didn’t think about the potential repercussions. This wasn’t a dark grunge club on the wrong side of town. This was the Fourth of July at Gas Works. It would be nearly impossible to keep a low profile and even if they could, she had his fucking name on her back. What if Reagan was there with Liam? This was a big deal. Why wouldn’t his family be there to celebrate in his success?
“Creed couldn’t make it so he sent me,” Grant explained, handing everyone their credentials. A look passed between the brothers, a glance really, lasting mere seconds. If Kensie weren’t already so hyperaware, she’d have missed it. The older Thayer was uncomfortable with her presence. Carter dropped a heavy arm around her neck and pulled her into his side. The act reeked of defiance and possession. It said, “she’s with me now, get over it or get lost.”
Grant turned to Ryder and Javi. “Fifteen minutes for sound check, then you guys have press, then a meet and greet. After that, you’ll have a few hours to enjoy the festival and we’ll meet back here at five thirty. Showtime’s at six, and then we’re done.”
They guys nodded in agreement and made their way up the stairs onto the stage. The air was thick with nervous energy. The normally lighthearted aura that seemed to surround Lithium Springs was gone as the three men got down to business.
Kensie watched them prepare from the side of the stage. Jamie stood to her left, snapping pictures of the guys on her smartphone, and Grant, to her right, with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders relaxed. “I hear you’re going to be a bridesmaid?” he asked, quirking his brow.
Kensie groaned. “I couldn’t say no to your sister.”
“None of us can,” Grant chuckled.
They stood in an awkward silence for a beat. Javi plucked a few notes on his bass. Jamie snapped a few more pictures. CT tapped on his snare. The world kept spinning, but the unasked questions lingered on.
“Just say it.”
“My brother has made it abundantly clear that it’s none of my business, but…”
“You want to know how?”
He nodded. His eyes were so much like Carter’s that Kensie felt compelled to confess. She laid out every sordid detail of how she met his brother, how they hooked up, and how she fell in love. Their story wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t a fairy tale, but it was real. She was finally being honest and that counted for something.
“Are you two officially a couple?” he asked once she finished.
“No…” She shook her head. “It’s complicated. I never wanted to hurt Trey. I never intended for any of this to happen, but I fell in love with your brother. We aren’t perfect, you witnessed firsthand just how fucked up we can be, but I’m willing to try because the alternative hurts too much.”
“He seems to feel the same. I’ve never seen him in love before. It’s nice,” Grant conceded. “Liam and Trey are two of my best friends, and as much as I hate this for Trey, as much as I try to stay neutral in this bullshit feud, CT’s my little brother. I will always root for him. It’s just fucked up, you know?”
She tried not to take it personally, but the harsh reality was starting to set in. This was what they’d be up against. No matter how happy she and Carter were, no matter how long their relationship lasted, it would always come back to how they began. Even now that she and Trey were broken up, she’d always have to deal with the fact that she cheated. There was no way around it, Carter and Trey’s lives were too intertwined. They were practically family.
“Do you know what happened between them?” Kensie asked, she couldn’t help herself. Trey was the r
oot cause of Carter’s trust and insecurity issues. If she could just understand why, then maybe it would be easier to forgive him for Susie, easier to move forward.
“No.” Grant shook his head. “I was away at school during my junior year at Cornell. I was so excited to come home. Carter was back, and it was supposed to be the best summer of our lives, then all hell broke loose.”
“How old was he?” Kensie asked, trying to put the pieces together.
“Uh…let’s see…he would have been nineteen or almost nineteen.”
“After he got into trouble?”
“Yeah,” Grant answered. His eyes shifted downward and he shoved his hands into his pockets. “He just pushed us away. I think he felt like we betrayed him for not picking a side, but he won’t talk to us, not really. Not anything of substance. I miss my little brother. That’s why I do this. I’m not a manager, but if it’s the only way to spend time with him…”
“I get it,” was all Kensie said in response, because she did get it. She’d do just about anything to spend time with Carter. He was a charismatic jackass who she couldn’t help but fall in love with.
She never even had a choice.
“I don’t understand the point of this?”
“The point, Kensington, is to catch them all,” Jamie explained as she flung red and white balls across her phone screen. They had been walking around Gas Works for nearly thirty minutes, waiting for the guys to finish their meet and greet. Around the ten-minute mark, Jam had decided that the best way to kill time would be to teach Kensie about her new obsession, Pokémon GO.
“But why?”
“Because it’s fun. Look!” Jam took Kensie’s phone and tapped onto a nearby Pokémon. She tossed little balls at the squirming creature until it landed on its head.
“Remember when your idea of fun was getting drunk and trying to see how many guys would send you dick pics on Tinder? I think I like that Jamie better.”
“Okay, first, fuck you, and second, just try it. It’s addicting, plus cardio.”
“Fine,” Kensie huffed, snatching her phone from her friend. There was a Bulbasaur standing in front of a funnel cake vendor. She caught it with one throw and smiled, despite herself.
Lithium Tides: A Lithium Springs Novel Page 15