“What’s strange is that I’m still standing here wasting my time with you.” He dipped his head down, hovering close. “Are you done yet?”
I stared ahead, his chest level with my gaze, and I dug in my eyebrows, trying to stay the ache behind my eyes.
I opened my mouth, speaking softly. “You don’t have to…” I trailed off, unable to look at him.
“To what?”
I hardened my jaw to keep my chin from trembling as I looked up at him. “To speak to me like that. You don’t have to be so mean.”
He continued to stare down at me, his entire face hard and frozen.
“There was a time,” I went on, softening my expression, “when you did like talking to me. Do you remember? When you noticed me and looked at me and—”
But I stopped, seeing his face inch closer as he planted his hands on the column behind my head.
“There are some places that aren’t for you,” he said slowly, filling each word with meaning as if talking to a child. “When you’re wanted, you’re invited. If you’re weren’t invited, then you weren’t wanted. Does that makes sense?”
He peered down at me, looking like he was explaining why I needed to eat my vegetables before dessert.
It’s an easy enough concept, after all, Rika. Why can’t you understand it? He was saying that I was in the way and a bother. He didn’t want me around.
“You don’t belong here, and you’re not welcome. Do you understand?” he asked again.
I glued my teeth together, air pouring in and out of my nose as I tensed every goddamn muscle in my body, trying not to break. Lightning struck behind my eyes, making them ache and burn, and I don’t remember ever feeling like this. He’d ignored me, condescended, and insulted on occasion, but the cruelty hurt beyond words.
“That was English, Rika,” he barked, making me jump. “A dog listens better than you.”
Tears immediately pooled, and my chin trembled. I swallowed the lump, feeling my stomach ache, and I felt like I wanted to sink into a hole, disappear, and forget.
Before he could enjoy the satisfaction of seeing me crumble, I shot out, pushing his arm away and breaking into tears as I ran back the way I came. Everything in my sight blurred as I passed the spas again and yanked open the locker room door, hurrying out as I fought against the sobs in my throat.
The hat spilled off my head, falling to the ground and freeing my ponytail. I ran through the boxing gym, not giving a shit who saw me, and pulled open the next door, wiping away the tears as I dashed into the hallway and down the stairs.
But then I crashed into another person halfway down, and I stopped, jerking my head up and my insides going cold.
“Kai?” I nearly whispered, stunned to see him.
And confused.
Damon was here. Kai was here. Was Will as well? Were they all in Meridian City? I hadn’t been certain if Michael even kept in touch with them while they were in jail, but it was obvious now that he had.
Kai cocked his head and took his hand out of his black pants, placing it on my arm to stable me. But I pulled my arm away.
He stared at me, his white shirt and black suit coat neatly pressed, making him look just as good-looking as ever, although much more muscular than the last time I’d seen him.
I heard hard footsteps behind me and jerked my head around, seeing Michael come around the corner.
They were all together again?
I shot around Kai, continued down the stairs, and grabbed my bag off the floor before dashing out the door. Michael was one thing, but I didn’t want to be around his friends.
“Rika!” I heard Michael yell behind me.
But the door closed, cutting him off, and I raced off the steps, the cool rain hitting my hair, face, and arms.
I hooked the bag over my head and ignored the valet attendant holding an umbrella out for me. “Need a cab, miss?”
I shook my head and turned right, heading down the sidewalk as light droplets covered my arms.
“Get my car!” I heard a bellow behind me and turned to see Michael barking at the attendant.
He then turned, locking eyes with me, and I spun back around, hurrying away from him.
“Stop!” he ordered.
I pivoted on my heel, walking backward and crying out, “I’m gone! Okay? What more do you want?”
Turning around again, I hurried along the sidewalk.
But then Michael grabbed my bag strap and yanked it over my head, my neck twisting as he pulled it off.
I jerked around. “What the hell are you doing?”
He just walked away from me, though, carrying my bag as he stepped up to his car, the valet attendant handing him his keys.
Michael swung open one of the back doors and tossed my bag in, my phone and house keys with it, and stepped up to the front passenger-side door, pulling it open.
“Get in!” he demanded, anger written all over his face.
I breathed hard, shaking my head. What the fuck? I was half-tempted to beg the manager for a new set of keys and go buy a new fucking phone, just to show him.
But my books were in there, my class schedule, not to mention the birth certificate and immunization records that I’d had to let the admissions office make copies of after I’d left my advisor earlier.
I scowled, the tears gone and rage in its place.
Stepping up to the car, I jumped into the passenger’s seat and yanked the door out of his grasp, closing it on my own. As soon as I saw him round the front of the car, making his way for the driver’s side, I twisted around, grabbed my bag out of the backseat, and pushed open the car door, darting out.
I didn’t make it far.
Before my ass was even off the seat, Michael’s hand crashed into my shoulder, grabbing my collar and hauling me back in.
I cried out, but he swiped the bag away and tossed it into the backseat once more.
“Mr. Crist, can I call for help?” The attendant appeared in my open door, sounding concerned.
Michael’s hand was on my collarbone, holding me to the seat, and my face started to crack again as tears pooled.
“Sir.” The attendant reached for me, concern on his face. “The young lady…”
“Don’t touch her,” Michael growled. “Close the door.”
The attendant’s mouth sat agape for a moment, looking like he wanted to argue, but he just looked at me and eventually backed away, shutting the door.
“I told you I didn’t need a ride home,” I gritted out. “You wanted me gone, so let me leave!”
He started up the car, the muscles in his neck flexing and his hair glistening with rain. “Last thing I need is my mother bitching, because you went crying,” he spat out.
My chest rose and fell, fury boiling under my skin as I turned around and planted my knees underneath me, leaning over to his side of the car.
“I’ve got more mettle than you give me credit for,” I yelled, “so you can go fuck yourself!”
He darted out, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and yanking me in. I whimpered, feeling the burn in my scalp from his fingers fisting in my hair.
“What do you want from me? Huh?” he asked, breathing hard and glaring at me. “What do you see in me that’s so fucking fascinating?”
I trembled, just holding his eyes. What did I see in him? The answer was so easy, I didn’t even have to think about it. It was the same thing he saw in me all those years ago down in the catacombs.
The hunger.
The need to break away, the desire to find the one person on the planet that would understand me, the temptation to go after all things they tell us we can’t have…
I saw me, and through all the times growing up that I felt alone or like I was searching for something I couldn’t put into words, I didn’t feel so lost when he was around.
It was the only time I didn’t feel lost.
I shook my head, dropping my eyes as a silent tear spilled over. “Nothing,” I nearly whispered, desp
air tightening my throat. “I’m just a stupid kid.”
I inched away, feeling him slowly release his grasp in my hair. Shifting my feet out from under me, I sat down on my seat and swallowed the hard lump in my throat, pulling the collar of my plaid shirt tighter around my neck, covering my left side.
He didn’t want to know me. He didn’t like me.
And I wanted that fact to stop hurting. I was so sick of dreaming.
Sick of having forced a relationship with Trevor, because I believed he would set me straight, and sick of wanting a nightmare that treated me like a dog.
Sick of both of them.
I straightened my back and stared at my lap, trying to force the weariness from my voice.
“I want to walk home,” I told him, grabbing my bag from the back and taking hold of the door handle.
And then I paused, still not looking at him. “I’m sorry about sneaking off inside. It won’t happen again.”
Opening the door, I immediately stepped out into the downpour, thunder cracking overhead as I took the long way home.
Present
GOD, WHAT WAS SHE DOING TO ME?
Did she really think she was just a stupid kid? Did she really not see how every fucking person in Thunder Bay adored her?
I breathed hard, pulling my open collar away from the heat on my neck. Hell, I’d even caught my piece of shit father looking at her once or twice over the years. Everyone thought the world of Rika, so why did she act like mine was the only opinion that mattered to her?
I marched into Realm, a dark nightclub downtown and glanced upward, seeing my teammates hanging around the balcony of the VIP lounge above. There was a press event tonight, but it was the last thing I could focus on even though I should. I needed my brain on something else.
Heading for the bar, I placed my hands on the marble counter, jerking my chin at the bartender. He nodded, knowing what to get. Damon, Will, and Kai were already here, Realm being a favorite of ours.
I bowed my head, closing my eyes and trying to calm down.
I was losing. When she was around, she made everything small, and all I could see was her. All the years of misery she caused my friends suddenly didn’t matter, my focus blurred, and I lost sight of what she’d done and how my friends had suffered.
And how she needed to pay.
I hated her.
I had to hate her.
I didn’t have to force her in the car today. I didn’t care about the tears in her eyes or the way she couldn’t look at me before she climbed out.
I didn’t want to wipe away the hurt, I didn’t want to touch her, and I didn’t want to get her to scream at me again, because I’d never been so turned on.
She got out of the car, left me behind, and according to the doorman, hadn’t left Delcour since getting home that afternoon.
Good. Let her get used to that cage.
The bartender stepped over, carrying a fresh bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label and a rocks glass, setting it down in front of me. I poured a double shot and tipped back the glass, taking down the whole damn thing.
“Where the hell have you been?”
I tensed, hearing Kai’s voice at my side.
But I just poured another double, not answering him.
I’m just a stupid kid. My chest rose and fell faster, and I shot back the drink, taking all of it down again.
I set the glass down, blinking long and hard.
“Jesus. Are you okay?” he asked, sounding more worried than angry now.
“I’m fine.”
He placed both hands on the bar, leaning in as he peered over at me. “What was she doing there today?”
I downed a third shot, starting to feel the burn in my stomach blanket my veins in a warm buzz. The edges were blurring, and the tips of my fingers hummed.
I shook my head, setting the glass down. Out of everyone in my life—my father, my brother, my friends—it ended up being her that drove me to drink. Her fucking eyes, going from defiant to mischievous to hurt to on fire, and then finally, to broken.
Don’t be alone with her.
“Michael?” Kai prompted.
I let out a hard sigh, running my fingers over the top of my head. “Could you just…” I gritted out, “fucking shut up for five minutes and let me get my head straight?”
“Why isn’t your head straight already?” he demanded. “Because you know, we had a plan. Take everything and then take her, but all I see you doing is dicking around.”
I immediately straightened and darted my hand out, grabbing his collar.
He shoved my arm to the side, shaking his head and sneering, “Don’t go there. I want our little monster, with her big doe eyes, kneeling at my feet, and I’m not waiting anymore. I’d like you in on this, but I don’t need you.”
Not waiting anymore. She just got here! She was in Meridian City because of me. At Delcour because of me. Isolated because of me.
And there were only a couple of more things to take from her. They hadn’t waited that long.
But then I looked away. Yeah, they had. They’d waited far too long.
I pushed the bottle and glass away. “Where are they?” I asked him.
Kai stayed silent, still looking pissed but turned around and led the way.
I followed, the hard bass of the music vibrating under my feet as we walked through the club toward the private areas in back.
Kai and I never fought in the past. I shouldn’t have taken that shot at him.
But for some reason, he kept challenging me, and I felt further away from him now than when he was in prison. What the hell was going on? I expected Damon and Will in my face. Not Kai.
In many ways, he was the same as he’d always been. The thinker, the reasonable one, the brother that always looked out for the rest of us…But in many ways he had changed beyond recognition. He never smiled anymore, he took courses of action he wouldn’t have in high school, even knowing the consequences, and not once did I see him do one thing for pleasure since he’d gotten out. Damon and Will partied, drank, smoked, and buried themselves in pussy the first two weeks they were free.
Kai, on the other hand, hadn’t had a single drink or a woman in his bed. Not that I knew of anyway. Hell, I didn’t even think he listened to music anymore.
He needed to lose control, because I was starting to get concerned about whatever he was bottling up.
Following him into a semi-private area with an L-shaped sofa and a table, I spotted the back of Will’s head, slouched against the couch, and Damon relaxing across the table from him with his hand resting between some girl’s thighs.
Damon was the exact opposite of Kai. He rarely thought about anything he did, and if someone put a wall in his way—justified or not—he came in swinging without hesitation or regret. This had been a useful quality on our high school basketball team. His reputation spread, and just the sight of him by the opposite team got them pissing themselves.
He also more than made up for all the vices Kai wasn’t indulging in.
I stopped next to the couch, jerking my chin at Damon to get rid of the girl. He shifted, taking his hand out from between her legs and nudged her thigh, sending her off.
Kai took a seat and Will sat up, all of them turning their eyes on me. Impatience and agitation were clear in their expressions, and I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly feeling like there was a wall between them and me.
Because, after three years, they now had a bond that didn’t include me. Everything was fucked because of her.
I narrowed my eyes on Kai. “You okay to drive?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
I nodded, reaching into my pocket and taking out my keys. “Let’s do this then.” I told them. “You guys ready?”
Will perked up, looking at me, surprised. “The mother?”
I nodded again.
He shot Damon a look, smiling.
“How gone do we want her?” Kai inquired, standing up, suddenly back in the game.
“Buried,” I replied. “I want no Fanes for Rika to run to. We’ll go to Thunder Bay tonight.”
“You guys go,” Damon teased, leaning back and putting an arm behind his head. “I’ll stay and keep an eye on Rika. She’s more fun to look at.”
“Have you seen her mother?” I raised my eyebrows, amusement lifting the corners of my mouth. Christiane Fane was still young and fairly fucking gorgeous. She wasn’t Rika, but still beautiful. “You’re coming with us.”
There’s no way I trusted him alone here with Rika.
Reaching into the breast pocket of my black suit jacket and pulling out a small baggy, I tossed it to Damon. He shot up his free hand and caught the bag, glancing around to see if anyone was looking.
He then held it up, examining the contents, as Kai and Will took interest as well.
Suddenly, Damon’s lips spread in a wide smile and he looked over at me like I just made his night.
Yeah, I suspected Damon would know what that was. Sick fuck.
Rohypnol was known as a date rape drug, used to make its victims pliable and weak in no less than fifteen minutes. Surprisingly, I had little trouble getting ahold of it, too. A few of my teammates were on something or other illegal, be it recreational or body enhancing, and all I’d needed was to get in contact with their dealer to get the pills.
If we didn’t find Rika’s mother drunk as usual, one of those pills would help make her very agreeable.
“Give it to me.” Kai looked pointedly at Damon, holding out his hand for the baggy.
Damon arched an eyebrow, doing nothing.
“Now,” Kai insisted, still holding out his hand.
Damon smirked and opened the bag, tapping out a pill into Kai’s hand. “You only need one for the mom. These things are pretty effective.”
Will breathed out a laugh, shaking his head but not sounding the least bit amused with the joke. Even he had limits.
Not that Damon didn’t. We just didn’t know for sure. If we’d ever seen him use anything like that, we would’ve killed him, but he also never gave us the impression that he wasn’t just that fucked up.
For now, we’d adopted an “if we don’t see it, it’s not a problem” attitude.
Kai sat with the pill in his hand, staring at Damon, and then darted out, snatching the bag out of his hand.
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