Unfortunately…we were fucked.
My phone buzzed from its charger on the nightstand, and I closed my eyes, trying to ignore it.
I wasn’t ready.
I wanted to draw the blinds, pick her up, and put her in a bath. I wanted to see her ride me out by the pool and play more games with her. I wanted to pretend that I wasn’t missing practice right now, that my friends weren’t waiting for me…and that Rika’s world wasn’t about to fall apart.
But my phone buzzed again, and I leaned forward, burying my head in my hands.
Rika.
The walls were closing in.
I shouldn’t be able to look at her. I shouldn’t love to touch her, and I shouldn’t need to feel her wrapped around my cock every second since I’d first had her last night.
She wasn’t mine. She would never be mine.
And I shouldn’t want her.
I stood up and walked over to the bed, leaning down and studying her pretty face.
Fuck you, Rika.
Fuck you. I can’t choose you. Why did you do this to me?
I turned my head, reaching over to the nightstand and taking my phone. I had several missed calls, but I didn’t bother listening to the voicemails or checking texts.
I just typed one to Kai instead.
Finish it.
And I straightened, glaring down at her as I set the phone back down.
Now it was done. And there was no going back.
Three Years Ago
I TURNED INTO THE GRAVEL PARKING LOT, the night lit up with the headlights of all the other partiers arriving. The warehouse had been abandoned long ago, but since it hadn’t been slotted for use or torn down yet, we confiscated it every chance we got to let loose and raise a little hell.
People brought kegs and liquor, and the town’s wannabe youth DJs set up their systems, filling the night with rage and noise so loud we couldn’t think even if we wanted to.
This was what I’d been waiting for.
Sure, I wanted to see how she’d hang with my friends. Could she keep up? Could she even manage to make a dent in our world?
But what I really wanted was to get her away from my family, her mother, Trevor, and to just see her relax. I wanted to see who she was when she stopped caring what everyone else thought or expected of her.
When she finally realized that my opinion was the only one that mattered.
And even though she was always the one to watch me as we grew up, that didn’t mean I wasn’t always aware of her, either.
I still remembered the day she was born. Sixteen years, eleven months, and eighteen days ago. That crisp November morning when my mother let me hold her and then my father immediately took her out of my arms and laid her next to Trevor, who was just a baby then, too.
Even at three I understood. She was Trevor’s.
And I just sat there, wanting her back, wanting to see the baby and wanting to be included in the fun, but I didn’t dare approach my father. He would’ve pushed me away.
So I didn’t care. I made sure never to care.
So many times growing up I tore my eyes away from her. I made sure not to think about it when she and Trevor hung out or had classes together because they were the same age, and I made sure not to notice her in a room or feel her next to me. I made sure not to talk to her too much or be too nice and let her in.
She was too young.
We didn’t travel in the same circles.
My father would force me away from her. He took away everything that made me happy. Why bother?
And when those excuses ate me up inside and turned anger into resentment and resentment into hatred, the day finally came when I really didn’t care anymore.
It didn’t seem to faze her, though. The more I pulled away and treated her with impatience and distance, the more she pulled closer.
So instead, I stayed away. I went off to college, and I rarely came home. I hadn’t seen her in months before I walked into that classroom today and saw her sitting there, looking so grown up and beautiful, like a fucking angel. I couldn’t help it. I walked up to her, wanting to pull her up and take her with us, but when she raised her eyes, meeting mine, I knew I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t stop if I did. I wouldn’t be able to give her back.
Why her? Why, despite my mother, who always loved me, and my friends, who always had my back, was it Erika Fane who put the air in my lungs or made my blood run hot. She always got to me.
And then when she showed up at the cathedral today, I was done denying the need to be close and done pushing her away. To hell with it. I may or may not let her in when all was said and done, but let’s see where the night took us.
I wasn’t disappointed.
She had a lot of guts, and my friends liked her, even though I could tell Damon was still trying to give her the cold shoulder. She was one of us.
“Goddamn, I hope someone has grills going inside,” Will complained as I pulled into a parking space. “I’m still fucking hungry.”
I kept my smile to myself. Every time he’d tried to eat tonight, we’d gotten sidetracked, and now we were too jacked up and wanted to drink.
I shut off the engine and everyone climbed out, Damon and Kai pulling off their sweatshirts and tossing them onto their seats, while Will gathered the masks and secured them in the duffel in the back of the car.
Glancing over, I saw Rika stuff the jewelry under her seat, probably realizing it was safer in the car, and then slammed the door, walking toward the rear.
“Come here, Little Monster.” Will pulled her around the back of the car.
I watched them over my shoulder, seeing him raise his hand to her face, and it appeared as if he was putting something on it.
He dragged his fingers down her skin, and then I spotted what was in his hand. Shoe polish. We kept it in the duffel in case a mask broke on one of our escapades and we needed to improvise.
He finished and grinned at her. “War paint,” he explained. “You’re one of us now.”
She turned around, a small smile on her face. A smudgy black stripe traveled from the left side of her forehead diagonally down her face, across her nose, and ended on the right side of her jaw. I crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring the rush in my chest. She looked badass.
A few drops of rain landed on my face, and I heard excited laughter and yelps around us as people scurried through the parking lot, trying to get inside before the downpour started.
Rika tipped her head back, cool drops glistening on her cheeks and forehead as her lips spread in a smile.
“Let’s go!” Kai yelled.
I turned and walked for the warehouse, Kai and Damon at my sides while Will and Rika followed behind.
Entering the massive building was like stepping into a different world. The warehouse had been gutted years ago and the steel beams fifty feet above our heads were rubbed raw of their paint by weather and time. Barely any walls remained, and the dilapidated roof had several large holes, making it easy for the rain, getting heavier by the minute, to pour in.
We walked in slowly, taking in the chaos that resembled a small, post-apocalyptic, underground city.
However, despite the darkness, the raw feel of the unclean and cold metal, and the bonfire raging to the left as people danced to Devil’s Night by Motionless in White, the madness here was better than any frat house party I’d attended at college.
No one cared what they looked like. They were going to get dirty anyway. Everyone, including the girls, wore jeans and Chucks, and you didn’t really care about conversation, either, because it was too loud to talk. No airs, no drama, no masks. Just music, rage, and noise, and eventually, when the high hit you just right, you’d find a girl or she’d find you, and you’d disappear upstairs for a while.
People greeted us as we walked in, and without asking, four Solo cups of beer showed up, a young girl smiling as she handed them off to us.
“We need one more,” I told her and handed mine off
to Rika.
But before she had a chance to take it, arms circled her waist and she was pulled off the ground.
She gasped and then broke into laughter as her friend, Noah, who I remembered hanging around her when we were in high school, bounced her up and down in his arms.
I tensed, wanting to take his fucking hands away, but then I remembered that, not only were they friends, but he was also the reason she hadn’t suffered more at the hands of Miles and Astrid at that party in the spring.
So far, he had my trust.
“Well, what the hell, Rika?” he bellowed, putting her back on her feet. “You said this week that you didn’t want to come out tonight.” And then his eyes snapped up to us, and he narrowed them as if just realizing. “You’re here with them? Are you okay?”
I nearly snorted. Turning around and leaving them to catch up, the guys and I walked off to find our table. A few teenagers were sitting at it, but as soon as they saw us approaching, they scurried out of the semi-circle booth which sat right in front of the make-shift dance floor, offering a perfect view.
Damon grabbed the remaining kid, who trailed behind his friends, and yanked him out, sending him stumbling forward.
I hooked my arms around the back of the booth, four more beers showing up at our table, just in time as Will finished his.
The rain, glistening in the utility lights that were set up around the room, fell lightly through the roof, slowly wetting the hair of the dancers on the floor.
Casting a quick glance over my shoulder, I saw Rika and Noah joined by another friend—a girl—whose name I didn’t remember. And then my eyebrows nose-dived, seeing Noah hand Rika a drink.
But she waved it off, refusing it.
I turned back around, scowling ahead. Good. If that little lesson with Miles and Astrid hadn’t taught her to get her own damn drinks—or at least get them from me—then I was going to beat her ass. The last fucking thing I ever wanted to imagine was what almost happened to her while I was away at college.
We drank our beers, leaning back, relaxing, and watching the action around us. Damon lit a cigarette and stared at the floor ahead, watching a girl dance as she eye-fucked and taunted him. Will pulled off his sweatshirt and poured beer after beer down his throat, while Kai kept turning his head, stealing glances toward the door where we came in. I knew he was watching Rika.
The muscles in my arms tightened, and I stared ahead, trying not to care. No one comes between friends. Least of all, a woman.
I heard light laughter and looked up, seeing Rika round the booth and pull her sweatshirt over her head. She wore a huge smile as she tossed it at the empty space next to me, and followed her friends as they pulled her to the dance floor.
I breathed harder.
That tank top was killing me.
I could still make out a few small bloodstains from Miles, but it was barely noticeable in the dimness of the surroundings.
A good inch of her toned stomach showed, and the thin straps of her gray tank barely gave her tits any support. It left almost nothing to the imagination, showing off her ample chest and sexy fucking body.
Her hair flowed down her back, and her round ass was perfect in her jeans. I could almost feel her straddling my lap.
Fuck.
Lightening hit low in my stomach, getting me hard, and I grunted under my breath, trying to clear my fucking head.
Laurel’s Fire Breather started, and she and her friends made their way to the middle of the floor, right under the hole in the roof where the rain drifted in.
The slow, sonorous tune wrapped around my dick, filling it with heat as I watched her move to the beat, pumping her hips and arching her back like she knew exactly what would jack me up and get me ready.
Damon tore his eyes away from the girl on the floor, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he started watching Rika instead. She laughed, letting that friend of hers rub up on her as they both moved in sync, lost in the music.
I might be jealous if it wasn’t so hot. And he didn’t have a chance with her anyway. Her little glances at me across the breakfast table had more heat in them than the way she smiled at him.
Will leaned his elbows on the table, watching her as well, and I didn’t spare a glance at Kai to see if he was staring. I knew he was.
Who wouldn’t?
The deep beat filled the room, carrying into the rafters, and I watched as she rolled her hips nice and slow, sliding an arm around his neck behind her as her girlfriend came up in front of her, and the three of them started grinding together.
I shifted in my seat, liquid heat rushing to my groin.
“Holy fuck,” Damon breathed out, turning around to face us.
Will’s wide eyes glanced to us, as well, and I could tell he was as turned on as I was.
“There’s no way Trevor can handle her,” Kai stated.
A grin tugged at my jaw, but I didn’t let it loose. No. My brother wouldn’t have the slightest clue what to do with trouble like that. He could never give her what she needed.
I stared at her, seeing her hips sway in small, sexy movements to the music, and then she laughed, pulling out and switching places with the girl. The light rain falling through the roof made her skin glisten, and she closed her eyes, holding her hands up in the air and losing herself to the music once again.
“Michael?” I heard Kai’s voice. “You’re looking at her like she’s not sixteen, man.”
I shot him a look, a little amused, before turning my eyes back to Rika.
It wasn’t a warning, simply a tease. This suburb wasn’t the least bit exciting, and teenagers didn’t have much else to do except fuck every chance they got. We’d all had sex long before we were eighteen.
And we were all looking at her like she wasn’t sixteen.
“Well, you know what I say?” Damon chimed in, blowing out a stream of smoke. “As long as they’re old enough to crawl, they’re in the right position.”
Will scrunched up his face. “Aw, you’re sick!” he said, laughing.
I shook my head, ignoring the stupid remark. Damon was fucked up.
Sure, he was joking.
But there was also always some truth to anything he said. Women were as inanimate as rocks to him. Something to be used.
Will and Damon finished off a few more beers, and people came over to say hi and catch up. Since I’d been away all summer, training and traveling, I hadn’t seen anyone in a long time. Hopefully spirits were higher now with the Devil’s Night festivities to give everyone a small high and remind the team who they used to be.
I set down my drink, listening to Will and Kai talk to a few people standing around the booth, but when I glanced up to check on Rika on the dance floor, I instantly grew uneasy, seeing that she was gone.
Scanning the area, I found her friends still dancing, looking like they were getting pretty hot, and then I turned my head, finally spotting her climbing the stairs to the next level.
Just then, she turned her head, locking eyes with me over her shoulder as she continued to climb. I stood up on the seat and hopped over the back of the booth, landing on the floor.
I kept my eyes on her back as I followed her up the stairs, past loiterers standing about, and turned right, making my way up another set of stairs. The space was now completely empty of people and prying eyes.
The metal grate flooring under me led to a large window near the left corner, and I saw her standing there in the dark, gazing out into the night with the music and noise two stories below and far away from us.
What the hell was I doing?
“I like my house from here,” she said quietly. “You can see the lanterns. It looks almost magical.”
I came up to stand behind her, looking out into the darkness. Sure enough, you could make out our homes in the distance since they sat at a higher elevation. The houses weren’t visible, shrouded in trees as they were, but the estates were well-lit and clear. In reality, it was about a half mile between her house an
d mine, but from here it looked like only a few inches.
“Thank you for tonight,” she offered. “I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I felt good for the first time in a long time. And excited, scared, happy…” She trailed off and then finished in a quieter tone, “Powerful.”
I looked down at her, shadows of rain dancing across the light hair on top of her head.
Rika was a lot like I was a few years ago. Confused, caged, and corruptible. The most valuable lesson anyone learns in life should be learned as early as possible. That you don’t have to live in the reality someone else had invented. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Ever.
Redefine normal. None of us know the full measure of our power until we start pushing our boundaries and pressing our luck, and the more we do, the less we care what others think. The freedom feels too good.
I breathed in the hint of perfume her body still held, feeling high with need. God, I wanted to touch her. It had been building all night.
“I wonder what it’s like to be you sometimes,” she admitted. “To walk into rooms and have respect. To be so loved by everyone.” And then she turned her head to the side, looking up at me with those big, blue eyes, begging me. “To want something and take it.”
Jesus.
“You were watching me on the dance floor,” she whispered. “You never look at me, but you were watching me tonight.”
Pain twisted my gut, struggling to resist, but it was no use. I slid my hand around the front of her neck anyway and pulled her back into my chest, holding her tighter than I should.
“How can I not?” I breathed in her ear, squeezing my eyes shut. “You’re getting very hard not to notice.”
She whimpered, arching her body and pressing her ass into my cock. I opened my eyes, seeing her tits jut out, and I couldn’t take it.
Moving my hand into her hair, I fisted it at the back of her scalp and pulled her head back to me, her full, parted lips begging for mine.
She moaned, sending all of my blood straight to my dick.
I should tear away. She was only sixteen.
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