I was eldest, but females weren’t Alphas. Females born to an Alpha pair were pawns in a game of strategy to connect and strengthen ties between packs. I knew this was why I had not been allowed to stay in the territory because the new Alpha we were visiting had no mate.
I would have argued, but my wolf was drawn to the idea. Females were always drawn to males of power and prestige, and this male came from a strong line of Alphas. My nature had overpowered my will and I had to meet the male who enticed my wolf. I could deny that fact as much as I liked, but I knew that both my parents were eager for me to find a mate and start a family of my own, if only to comfort them. I could only hope they respected my wishes enough to let me find my place on my own. I had fought too hard for everything I had to give it all away to stand by a male’s side.
My brother wasn’t even born yet and already I was jealous of him.
“There are my females!” my father called, crouching by my mother. He kissed her shoulder, his cheek brushing against her neck, placing his scent on her skin.
He’d been doing that a lot lately, getting more and more protective the further her pregnancy progressed. I didn’t understand; my mother was obviously with child, and no male would go near her now, whether my father’s scent was on her or not. Pregnant she-wolves were off limits. Forgetting this would mean death no matter what pack you came from. Pups were the most treasured and protected in our world; any wolf who didn’t respect that was no wolf at all.
“Cathwulf, you’ve been a little quiet today. Is something the matter?” My father’s voice drew me out of my thoughts.
I shook my head. “Everything here is new; I’m just taking it all in.”
He smiled gently. “My pup’s first venture beyond the borders. I’m pleased you decided to come. It’s not good to stay within the pack and have no outside interactions. Alpha Dolf’s pack has beautiful land. You’ll love it.”
I ignored the slip of his tongue. It was no longer Alpha Dolf’s pack, but his son’s. I wanted to demand why he was so set on me loving the territory belonging to this pack, to have him admit that he hoped the Alpha would take a liking to me and that when my pack returned home, I would not go with them.
I wanted to point out that I had been forced to come, that I had met my father’s eyes when he asked it of me and looked away first. I wanted to point out that our pack had many visitors from all over the world seeking his guidance as a peacekeeper among wolves, and I had interacted with more exotic people than most.
I bowed my head, keeping my eyes low. “I’m glad too. I look forward to meeting Alpha Roarke.”
It was said just to appease him; I was really terrified. Hopefully I would not be to this Alpha’s liking.
Every Alpha around would be sending their eligible daughters to try and lure the new Alpha into taking them as his mate, and I was far from the prettiest she-wolf available. I looked far younger than my age, and that combined with my short stature had me often underestimated. However, I was the daughter of an Alpha through and through. I submitted to only my father and mother, occasionally to the pack’s beta, but I fought tooth and claw to make sure I was amongst the first to eat at the table. Birth right was only half the battle; you needed to fight the war to keep it. I knew that soon, if I wanted to, I could challenge our beta. I was able to hold his eye for longer, the urge to bow not as forceful as before, now that I was growing into myself. I caught him watching me sometimes, the challenge glinting in his eyes as his wolf urged him to show me my place was still beneath him, with his teeth at my throat.
I would always look away.
I wasn’t ready.
Not yet.
The tables were being set up for the meal that was almost prepared. Hungry pups hovered by the cooking meat only to be shooed away by those cooking it. The game was fun to watch, the pubs each trying to best each other in who could get closest before a male would get tired of their game and pinch an ear to get them to stop.
I caught sight of our Beta, Eagan, walking with an unmated female who lapped at the power he exuded.
Pitiful.
He smirked when he saw me looking his way, fangs peeking from his lips, the action making me bristle at the challenge he offered. I kept my eyes on his, my wolf rising as his did the same. The pack tensed and paused in their work at the feel of the struggle. A few more seconds passed, and then my wolf was whining in my head as I lost the fight for dominance. I could smell the satisfaction from Eagan; he couldn’t wait for our little clashes of power to turn physical.
My father used to scold me when I’d issue a challenge, pinch my ear, send me away tail tucked, but that was when I was younger, a pup who didn’t know better. He was protective of me, needed me to know my place as a young she-wolf, but now it was within my right to climb my way up if I could. I needed to find my place on my own.
The smell of food wafted through the air, and my mouth watered. My father and I helped my mother to her feet, and I walked behind them to the table. My parents sat at the head, Eagan on one side, and me on the other. My mother was first to pile food on her plate; as a pregnant wolf, she got to eat first. My father took his share, and the table watched as Eagan and I had another battle of wills that ended in my father growling at me. I ducked my head, conceding for now. My wolf was getting bolder and I with her.
Eagan made sure to slowly set his food on his plate, so I was forced to watch. His game was cruel, making me wait, teaching me a lesson that said I am still more than you.
The pack was quiet as the meal started, everyone enjoying the meat and fresh vegetables on offer for a precious moment before conversation slowly started up again.
“There is talk that some of us are to be mated when we get to Alpha Roarke’s territory,” my friend Oria said from my left.
Sky blue eyes shimmered in excitement as she looked over my shoulder. She struggled to hold eyes with me.
“You say it like it is pre-arranged. If one of our pack happens to decide on a mate from theirs, then it is all well and good, but the idea that there are already arranged couples is a tradition we have surpassed in this day and age,” I stated, lifting my chin.
Oria looked sheepish for just a moment before her usual cheeky grin replaced it. “You’re only saying that because you have heard the whispers. Alpha Roarke intends to make you his mate.”
I scoffed, my knuckles white as I clung to the fork in my hand.
The audacity!
“He cannot make this decision having never met me and having no idea what my intentions are. I am well aware of the wishes of my father, but I will not parade myself for the attentions of a male. If he and I happen to click and our wolves accept each other, then very well, but as of now, I have no interest in leaving my pack just yet,” I explained harshly, loud enough that my father could hear.
My mother gave me a sideways smile, glad that I was not a female without her claws.
***
The stars were endless, flickering white lights that I swore danced across the sky on their own path. The grass tickled my neck where I lay just behind the caravan my parents and I were using. I strained my neck, trying to see as much of the sky as I could. The moon was but a small white sliver against a sea of midnight blue.
My fur was ruffled by the chill evening wind, and my ears flicked at the sound of rustling leaves and wildlife that moved in the trees. I lifted my head at the sound of footsteps, my eyes zeroing in on the brown wolf that stepped around the caravan.
Muscles were visible beneath sleek fur, big paws taking bigger steps towards me. Blue eyes watched as my lips curled back, and a small growl rumbled from me, a warning. Eagan ignored it, continuing to walk until he reached my side and lay down. He was panting softly; I knew he had been running. He ran a lot, working off the pent-up energy that ruled him as his wolf urged him to pick a mate.
I regarded him for another moment before relaxing again. We were happy in our silent companionship. For a few peaceful minutes, we both watched the sky side by si
de as pack members, but I should have guessed his intentions.
He nudged me with his nose, inhaling my scent deeply, and I snapped at him. Eagan wouldn’t find a mate in me. I planned to be more than him. Even my father would not be happy at such an arrangement that gave him nothing in return: no land, no alliance.
Eagan growled, unhappy with my rebuttal of his advance in such a way. I stood quickly, ears back, hackles raised. This wasn’t a challenge but my final warning; I wasn’t for him. He stood slowly too, lifting his head, stretching to his full height, trying to tempt my wolf who wasn’t in the slightest bit interested in him as a potential mate. We found him an impressive male, a male in his prime, but he wasn’t enough to catch my eye.
This sudden interest in me was both worrying and annoying.
It wasn’t until he saw the fight was lost that I managed to relax, his body moving back around the caravan. Eagan was a wolf who craved power. I would much rather have a wolf who knew when he was reaching above his station than one who only thought about how much they could have. An ambitious wolf was dangerous, but it was to some extent to be expected. Wolves fought all the time for position, but Eagan didn’t have the prestige to be an Alpha; he would be put in his place by teeth or have his life taken due to his stubbornness.
I shifted, uncaring of my nakedness as I ran for the safety of the caravan, closing the door carefully so as not to wake my parents. Slipping on a shirt to sleep in, I took one last peek at the stars before crawling into the makeshift bed. I pulled up the piles of furs and blankets that weren’t really needed in the summer, burrowing beneath the heat they offered, the pelt of a deer on top, my first kill.
Tomorrow we would reach Alpha Roarke’s territory, and I would do my best to stay out of his way. This would all be over within the week, and then we would return home and I would keep training until I could challenge Eagan for Beta. I didn’t need a male to give me position, I may never be Alpha due to being female, and my soon to arrive baby brother would take that spot, but I could stand by his side as Beta Female.
Chapter Two
Instinct
The closer we got to the edge of Alpha Roarke’s border, the more jittery I became. My feet were resting on the dashboard, bouncing off the plastic nervously. My father gripped the steering wheel tight, knuckles white. He didn’t want to tell me off, he understood how I was feeling, but I knew it was annoying him. At first, blasting music through my earphones had helped—I was able to get lost in the tribal beat and vocals of Faun—but the butterflies soon made it impossible to enjoy.
My mother lay asleep in the back, soft snores leaving her and making me smile, my father looking back every now and again to appease his wolf. A human would be wary to travel so far into pregnancy, but my mother was not one to be left behind, and my father was no match for her ferocity right now. He was easy for her to mould while with child, his eagerness to please her overwhelming.
Resting my head against the window, I couldn’t help but admire the scenery that flickered past like a movie reel. The land was indeed very beautiful with its gentle sloping hills, lakes amongst an expanse of silver birch with soft fallings of leaves, dripping from branches like beads. If it wasn’t for my wariness of being in unknown territory, I would have loved to run and explore every inch of this land. If I were more confident, maybe if I were born male, I would want to make a claim for it, but as it stood, females never really felt the need to fight for land.
I ignored my father’s smirk, his eyes focused on the road, but he was still aware of my admiration of our surroundings.
I huffed, pointedly looking at my shoes. It would take far more than pretty trees to make me even consider his proposal. I had my plan, my future lay before me clearly, and this was not in it.
The road turned from tar onto single track mud that rattled the caravan with each pothole. The sound of the vehicles behind us was almost deafening. I gripped onto the door handle to stop from sliding around on my seat, but it did little to stop my body from jerking. Did this pack not care about the damage this must cause their cars? It seemed not.
I rolled the window down, sticking my arm out so my hand could catch the breeze like a bird’s wing, letting it rise and fall with the current. A flash of fur through the trees made me gasp, my wolf growling in my head. I quickly snatched my hand back in and put the window back up, despite knowing it was probably the pack patrols making sure we weren’t unexpected intruders.
My father chuckled, but his words held his worry for me. “If you keep acting like a skittish omega instead of the daughter of an Alpha and the strong female I know you are, this pack will eat you alive. They allow their feral side more control than we do. They stick close to the ancient ways from a time before skin was equal to the wolf. Show them your fangs when you have to, my pup.”
I nodded, my chin lifting. I knew who I was, and I would show them with no hesitation.
A large house came into view as we rounded the next bend. It was nestled in a large clearing, surrounded by thick oak trees, built of native brick with wooden window frames. It was beautiful and looked warm, homey. It was much bigger than my own home, but as this pack was bigger, I shouldn’t have been surprised.
A small gathering of wolves stood to greet us. These were the Alpha’s closest and most trusted. My father looked at me, his gaze stern, and I bowed my head in understanding.
I was not to step out of line, nor was I to let these wolves walk over me. Showing weakness would in turn make my father look weak. Once more I found myself wishing I could have stayed home.
My mother woke, looking around, dazed with the sleep that still clung to her.
“Are we here?” she asked softly, struggling to sit up with her belly in the way.
“We are, my mate. Don’t move. I will help you out,” my father replied.
I stayed in my seat, studying the wolves. Males and females, mated pairs standing close together, the occasional pup peeping a head around their parents’ legs to get a peek at the new arrivals. Power dripped from these high-ranked members but none so much as to stand out as the Alpha.
I waited till my parents were out of the caravan before I followed. The rest of the vehicles parked around us as I stepped out, and I felt comforted by the presence of my pack mates, as few as they were.
A man who only looked a few years younger than my parents greeted my father just as I wandered to my parents’ side. Avoiding the gazes of those around, feeling uneasy, I kept close. My mother placed a hand on my shoulder after tipping my chin up, and my wolf helped me keep it that way. I couldn’t look down around these wolves; I had to be strong.
The large male bowed his golden head then smiled at me without a show of fang, an action I returned while meeting his eye. His gaze was harder to hold than my father’s Beta.
“Beta Zale. It is nice to see you again,” my father said, shaking the man’s hand and giving him a half hug in a rare show of affection towards a male.
“It’s good to see you too, Alpha Everett. Kerra,” the Beta answered, nodding in my mother’s direction before his eyes found me again. “It is a pity it is under such circumstances. Is this your female?”
I stood taller, as tall as my small height would allow, meeting his eyes again. I barely reached Zale’s shoulder, but I was used to having to look up and never let others think that my height had anything to do with my worth.
My father looked proud as he nodded. “It is. This is Cathwulf. She decided to accompany us. She needs to get a better understanding of how things work in other packs.”
The comment irritated me, making me out to be still a pup when I was a grown female. I kept quiet, inhaling Beta Zale’s scent, imprinting it to my memory. He smelled like the sea after a storm, wild and powerful. I could only imagine how strong his Alpha was if his Beta was dominant enough to be an Alpha himself.
“She is small,” Beta Zale noted, turning up his nose, grinning at the small glimpse of fang I had let show, “but fierce. She will thrive here.�
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There it was again, the insinuation that I would be joining this pack. I kept my expression neutral, which only made the Beta’s smile widen more. He looked back at my parents, giving them an agreeing nod that had me frowning.
“The Alpha extends his apologies for not welcoming you himself. He had some business to take care of but promises to join you for dinner in the evening,” Beta Zale explained, his head bowing again, in apology this time.
To any other Alpha, this slight may have been taken as an insult, but my father simply nodded. I just wanted to get inside and away from the feeling of being on show.
Eyes were on me, watching and studying my every move as we walked past those gathered and into the house. The inside was as the outside portrayed, built in the Victorian style but obviously still a rather new build. Thick, heavy, wooden doors with brass door knobs, dark mahogany tables that had lamps placed on top, it held a very antique feel. Pictures on the walls depicted various painted wolves and scenery next to newer photos, taken by camera, of the pack. I took my time admiring them while my parents followed the Beta further into the house.
The mess of new scents was overwhelming my senses, my wolf pacing in the bounds of my mind. There was a reason wolves tended to stay in their birth packs unless forced to move after finding a mate or other unforeseen reasons.
A photo of a young male caught my attention on one of the tables. The frame looked old, but the picture had to have been taken in the past decade. He stood tall between what I assumed were his parents, looking no more than sixteen years of age. His light brown hair hung over a strong face that was the spitting image of the older male behind him. I picked it up, studying it more closely with curiosity. The boy looked unhappy, the mother had an amused smile, while the father had a harsh look betrayed by sparkling eyes.
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