Roarke manoeuvred the car around the potholes like an expert, his hand almost lazily holding the wheel. My fingers drummed nervously on my knee as I tried to bring up what had happened between his Third and me in the kitchen.
“Speak what’s on your mind, Cathwulf. Your emotions are strong through the bond. You’re making me nervous,” he joked, eyeing me beside him.
“I don’t think your Third likes me very much,” I admitted, almost embarrassed.
Roarke barked a laugh, making me give him an odd look. “Quillan? Don’t worry about him. He doesn’t like many people.”
“Why?” I asked, suddenly curious.
I thought he had a personal grudge against me particularly because of his cold demeanour.
“He wasn’t brought up like the rest of us. My father brought him to the pack when he was fifteen. He was practically feral, ran on instinct alone. It took him a long time to trust us and the pack; strangers he still struggles with. Don’t take his actions to heart. He’s a good wolf, loyal and strong. You’re my mate, and he is like a brother to me, so you his wolf will eventually see as a sister. He would protect you with his life,” Roarke explained, pulling out onto the tarmac road.
I didn’t have anything to say to that. I knew there was something about Quillan’s past that he wasn’t telling me, but I didn’t feel comfortable asking. Maybe one day, Quillan would trust me enough to tell me himself.
We were quiet again as he drove down the winding roads with the roof still down. It was probably stuck. My hair whipped around my face so much I had to tie it back to stop me from accidentally eating it.
There was so much countryside, rolling hills, fields, and rivers, that I couldn’t believe there was a city nearby. We seemed so far away from any sort of human civilisation, even farms seemed so few and far between here, and for Scotland, that was odd. I wondered if maybe Roarke’s family owned the land around here, as was common with such ancient packs.
As we rounded the next bend, the city came into view, nestled between the hills that stood tall against the horizon. Old brick buildings, tall church steeples, and small Victorian flats were interspersed with more modern buildings, but the old still outnumbered the new. I guessed wolves weren’t the only ones who liked to keep their historical culture alive.
My hand gripped the door handle a little tighter as we pulled onto the motorway. I wasn’t used to so many speeding cars around, coming from the middle of nowhere where single track roads were the norm.
“Relax, I won’t let you die on your first outing with me,” Roarke joked, his eyes still focussed on the road.
I wouldn’t admit to him that I trusted him, nor would I tell him how much I despised cars. It was a silly fear and one that I hadn’t managed to grow out of even after passing my driving test. Teasing had been rife when I’d refused to go to a nearby pack on finding out we’d have to go on the dual-carriageway to get there.
I loosened my death grip and tried to relax back in the seat. Roarke had slowed down, now going below the speed limit, and I knew it was solely for my benefit. Something told me that Roarke was one who liked speed.
Travelling through the city was just as daunting. It was filled with horns blasting, people yelling, and teenagers with earphones in that seemed to cross the road when they pleased, hoping that they wouldn’t get hit. We finally found a place to park, and Roarke walked around to my side, helping me climb out.
“Don’t you worry that someone will steal it?” I asked, eyeing the car with a lack of roof.
He shook his head. “Have you seen it? It’d cost them more to steal it than it’s worth. I love it, make no mistake, but it wasn’t an expensive car. It wasn’t worth anything when my grandfather bought it, and it’s worth even less now.”
I nodded, eyeing up its rusted body. It wasn’t hard to believe what he said; it also meant that its value was more sentimental to Roarke, which sweetened my bitterness towards him a little more. It was comforting to know that he cared about such things.
My hand went to its place in the crook of Roarke’s arm, and he led me through the narrow, cobbled alleyways into the city centre. I gasped at the sight of such majesty.
A huge cathedral took up the grass park that was the heart of the city. Its stained glass windows caught the light, reflecting a rainbow of colours. Small benches surrounded the grassy area, small flowers decorating the border. Couples sat on blankets, laughing and enjoying themselves; kids played catch and chased dogs around. There were so many humans, more than I’d ever been around in my life.
“Would you like to go for lunch first, or we can go look for a dress for tonight?” he suggested, smiling at my look of awe. “Or we can look around the cathedral if you love it so much.”
I frowned. “Weren’t there things we needed to pick up for tonight?”
“Your mother’s with a few of my female pack members picking up what we need. I decided we should spend the day getting to know each other so we can at least say what each other’s favourite colours are before our mating becomes known to the pack,” he explained, waiting for my reaction.
I smiled, looking away slightly nervously. Did I even want to get to know him? What did it even mean to know him? What if he got to know me and decided he had made a mistake in choosing me as a mate? The thought of him regretting me pulled at something in my heart.
Shaking these insecurities to the side, I lifted my chin and nodded. “Then let’s get lunch first.”
He grinned as I agreed to his plans and led me towards a small restaurant called The Clarsach. I stared longingly at the cathedral as we moved away from it, and while we were waiting to be seated, I took in what I could through the window. I’d always loved gothic-style buildings, drawn to the intricate architecture.
A petite woman led us to a small table and handed us menus, droning on about the specials of the day in such a monotone voice that I ended up losing interest. Once she left, Roarke gave me a look of relief that had me stifling a giggle.
“You obviously love the cathedral, so why don’t you want to go in?” Roarke inquired, his eyes burning into me.
I looked a little sheepish as I shifted in my seat and closed the menu, having already chosen what I wanted.
“My father taught us that Christianity caused the downfall of the Old Religion. It’s been drilled into me to stay away from things like churches and cathedrals, especially as it’s a religion that would sooner hunt our kind down than welcome us with open arms,” I began slowly, keeping my voice low. “It’d feel too much like betraying my Gods admiring a building from a religion that has its beliefs built on misogyny and racism.”
Roarke looked surprised, sitting back with his hands clasped on the table. “Your father stays truer to our ways than I had been led to believe.”
I growled at that, lashing out in my kin’s defence. “My father leads the pack the way an Alpha should. He follows the laws, he keeps us safe, and he’s done it for decades. You’re a new Alpha. You have much to prove before you can even begin to comment on the way other Alphas lead packs.”
His face hardened, and I regretted my sharp-tongued words. My head bowed, my hands slipping from the table to my lap. It was the only way I could submit in front of so many human eyes that would question other actions of apology from a wolf to their better.
“I never meant to cause offence, Cathwulf. I’m sorry. You’re right, your father has led his pack well, better than most. He’s well respected, by myself included. But if you ever question my leadership like that again…” he warned gently, letting his power seep from him.
My head ducked further. “I understand.”
The waitress returned, eyeing us both curiously as she asked for our orders. Roarke relayed what he wanted in a soft tone while my voice shook. Getting on the wrong side of him was a mistake. Today was meant to be fun and spent telling our truths, not arguing.
“Let’s not fall out, my female. I want us to enjoy today. How about you tell me about yourself?” he sugg
ested. “And then I’ll do the same. You might find we have common interests.”
Chapter Eleven
Bonding
I’d told him everything I could think of about myself. I told him how I’d went to high school with humans and enjoyed it so much that I started university for a while until pack life called me home before I could finish. I told him how I loved to hunt in both forms but travel was my dream, if I could get over the instincts that made that dream terrifying. I was too nervous to tell him how I had hoped to become the Beta Female of my pack, how it was the one thing I’d wanted more than anything else.
Proving to the pack that I needed no male by my side to rise in the ranks was now futile.
He hadn’t mocked me like so many of my kind often did when they heard about my desires and plans for the future. I became more and more animated as I spoke, and his smile grew with each secret I revealed. He never interrupted but to ask questions, never laughed when I told him things I had done or wanted to do that went against our nature; in fact, it only seemed to capture his attention even more.
In turn, he told me how he’d been trained to fight since he could walk and how that was perhaps the reason he enjoyed sparring so much. He loved to hunt also; in the autumn, he would help his pack gather meat for the winter, even though if they turned up short, they’d nip into town like most people. Hunting and running were things we could do together that would also strengthen our bond. My wolf was excited by this idea, hunting together, running together, being together.
Although he talked as openly about what he liked as I had, I knew he was holding something back. When I asked if he had ever considered getting a job, his cheeks had flushed and he shook his head. I was too shy to push him, but I knew I would get his secret one day, and I would treasure whatever it was he felt was too dear to be told to another. Then again, I hadn’t told him my secret either.
Trust could be built upon in time. I wanted to trust him and I needed him to trust me or this would never work.
“Tell me more about why you decided to leave university for good if you loved it so much? You don’t seem like one to give up so easily,” he observed, eating the last of his too rare to be good steak.
I chewed my lip, unsure of how to start. Could I reveal something that to others was deemed ridiculous? I searched his face, but all I found in his expression was the need to know more about me.
“It was difficult being at Uni, I won’t deny that. Sometimes the amount of people and noises would get overwhelming to the point I’d have to skip classes in fear of losing control, but I still wanted to finish. The friends I had there will have all graduated by now.” I sighed, trying not to linger on that thought. “When I heard my mother was pregnant, it just wasn’t right anymore. My wolf wouldn’t let me even talk of staying. She felt the need to find her place amongst the pack. When I found out Eagan had become Beta and that my parents would have a son, it all clicked into place for me; I knew what I wanted to do. I went home and I trained with our warriors every morning, ran the border every afternoon, and interacted with the pack every evening. Becoming Beta was the only thing on my mind, the one thing I wanted so much that I’d put every other dream behind me…” I trailed off, frowning, poking my food.
Roarke seemed to freeze, and I looked up. For a split second, there seemed to be a deep agony in his eyes that went as soon as I saw it.
“And I tore all these dreams away from you,” he muttered, his head dropping.
It was my turn to freeze and stare at him like he’d grown another head. What Oria had said about him having feelings for me rang in my thoughts. He obviously felt bad now.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I rebuffed, giving him my best smile that few got to see. “My path lies with you. I don’t think anything I could change in my past would change the fact I’d be sitting across from you right now.”
The smile that tugged at his lips was contagious as he sat up straighter, his eyes smug.
“You really believe that?” he asked, leaning his arms on the table. “Because I do. The second I heard your name spoken as a possible match for me by the elders, I knew I had to have you no matter what. The moment my eyes met yours at my table, I knew I’d have your seat placed by my side the next day.”
My skin flushed, and I couldn’t hold his gaze any longer, focusing on the salad that was left on my plate.
“That was very presumptuous of you,” I accused quietly.
There was no way that from simply hearing my name he could have decided so much. It was silly. You needed to know who you were going to be mated with, needed to meet them and study them. Although I appreciated his attempt at flattery, I would never accept that as his truth.
“On the contrary, it’s like you said, fate already had our lives intertwined. I was just making sure it happened sooner rather than later. You can’t escape what the Gods have planned,” he noted, the wisdom in his voice making me believe something had happened in his past he thought the fates had predestined.
“And you knew I was the one simply from my name?” I teased with a laugh.
His face remained serious, and I shook my head at him. “Don’t mock me, Roarke.”
His jaw clenched and he leaned over to take my hand in his. Heat flooded through my body at his touch, making me shift in my seat. His grip was firm and left me knowing whatever he was about to say was not to be argued with.
“There is power in a name, Cathwulf. That is why we are told the names of certain Gods should never be spoken. I knew from your name that you were a potential mate for me, and I knew from your eyes that held so much fire, and on hearing your voice the first time you stood up to me, that you would be my mate,” he assured, lifting my hand to press a kiss to the back of it. “Even you knew that you would be mine before we went on the run together, you can’t deny that the second you saw me, you were as drawn to me as I was to you.”
For a moment, I almost melted into him. It was true that when I first laid eyes on him, I felt a spark of recognition. As much as I fought against it, I now realised I wouldn’t have needed to fight at all had I not been so worried that I really would end up with this male. Neither of these facts were things I would admit to him, not right now.
“Would you like dessert?”
The chirpy voice of the waitress had me jumping back in my seat and snatching my hand from my mate’s. How did I not notice her presence? I was a seasoned hunter, I was aware of everything around me, but ever since meeting Roarke, I had noticeably lost my touch.
He was consuming me.
I shook my head at his questioning look. I was full, and dessert would probably make me burst. The nerves that had settled in my stomach were fluttering to life again, and I doubted I would be able to eat anything else until the ceremony was over.
“Just the bill, thank you,” he said, his eyes still on me, which made the poor waitress stumble over her words and scamper off.
“You’re staring,” I sang before finishing my drink.
He laughed, pulling his jacket over his shoulders as his eyes continued to wander over my features, lingering on my lips, which parted involuntarily.
“I’m admiring. There’s a difference,” he insisted, giving me a playful wink that almost had me choking on my drink.
That would not have been very becoming. Were we flirting? Was I flirting back? Should I be flirting back? Gods, when had I become so nervous being around a male?
The bill now paid, we made our way back outside. Roarke pulled me out of the way of a toddler chasing after a pigeon, closely followed by a frantic-looking mother who gave me an apologetic look.
I stared after the gleeful toddler, my wolf whining longingly in my head. Silly thing, she’d gone from solely focussed on becoming the best to a simpering female all because she’d found a mate.
“Where to now?” I asked, needing a distraction, my hand holding Roarke’s elbow without the prompt to this time. It was becoming almost natural to walk with him this way.
I didn’t notice the smile this action brought to my mate’s face and hoped he hadn’t been snooping around my emotions while I watched the child finally get caught by a relieved mother.
“Your dress. I had a look through your clothes and there’s nothing amongst them that’s suitable for tonight,” he commented, pulling me towards the shopping centre.
“Gee, thanks,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. “I packed for comfort. I didn’t expect to be initiated into another pack.”
“Settle, my female. I was joking. I’m sure when the rest of your clothes arrive, I will be pleased.” He chuckled, winding us through the crowd of shoppers.
“You’re insufferable!” I cried unbelievingly, wondering if he thought all females chose clothes they thought would make a male happy.
He simply laughed again.
A cute boutique with windows filled with elegant dresses stood before us, and I snorted as Roarke announced this was the place.
“Come here often, do you?” I said snarkily.
“Saba told me this would be a good shop to start at,” he replied, opening the door for me. “Don’t get jealous. I’ve never been here with another female.”
I huffed out a breath. If he thought it was jealousy, I’d let him think that.
“Maybe I’d have been better off coming here with Saba. My fashion sense when it comes to things like this isn’t the best,” I confessed, fingering the silk fabric of a dress with a price tag that had my eyes bulging.
“I wanted to bring you,” he insisted, searching through the racks of dresses with more enthusiasm than I was.
I decided to leave him to it as he was obviously more invested in this shopping trip, and strangely, I trusted his taste in clothes. The woman behind the till watched with an amused smile as I trailed behind my mate, who took out the occasional dress to hold against me. I gave her a small shrug and she laughed before looking back down at the book in her hands.
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