In the seventies I grew more sophisticated. I used psychology. I took hostages, stole sidekicks and women and dogs. Erica and I spent some more time together, on trains, in caves, but the mask never came off, and she never guessed. I learned that CoreFire could be confused, by mirrors or drugs or insane twists of logic. He could be fooled by android duplicates, holograms, telepathy, and mind-switching devices. But only temporarily. Sooner or later, he’d cut through the fog, and I’d feel his fists on me again.
In the eighties, there was magic, and the new cybernetics. I always fell at the last, beaten into unconsciousness. I’m tough, but there are limits to it if you just keep on hitting me. But if my career has a meaning, it’s that in the long run, I’m better than people like him.
I lose the scepter in the first second, slapped out of my hand. It goes spinning across the marble, no big loss—it was zeta-powered, useless against him. I throw a punch, but he catches it, and the counterpunch rings off my helmet. The robes are hard to fight in, but I swore I wasn’t going down in T-shirt and jeans. I draw the blaster and zap him with it, just for old times’ sake. I hope it stings.
I know he isn’t untouchable. I’ve seen him bleed, and the time that alien gladiator came to Earth to challenge him, he had a black eye before he finished that fight. Once I think I broke his nose.
He catches the blaster and crushes it in his hand, grabs my collar and throws me twenty or thirty feet into the wall. I land hard and it’s a moment before I can breathe again. He looks a little confused, a little resigned, as if to ask, Why are you making me do all this? But he comes on again.
It comes down to bodies. A blurred, panting moment when we wrestle, power on power, his breath on my cheek. It always comes to this, at the end, despite all my precautions, the layers upon layers, the deceit. I taste the familiar mixture of blood, sweat, and defeat.
He’s still the strongest hero I’ve ever fought. He reaches to catch me in a headlock, but I slip out, cape going over my head, and we’re apart again. I drop a couple of flashbangs to buy time.
I jab him in the eye, but I’m punching marble. His head barely moves.
“Had enough?” he quips, ever the wit. He isn’t even mussed.
He smiles, then blurs, and I barely see the punch before it lands. Then I’m on my hands and knees. The room doesn’t quite spin, but it slides a little as I get to my feet. The scar he once left on my face is starting to hurt, which means I’m under a lot of stress.
His eyes change color for an instant and my outer robes start to smolder. I tear them off and square up again. He reaches for my throat, but I catch his arm and throw him on his back on the carpet. It gives me time to get the Hammer of Ra out.
I shouldn’t have waited. I knew when I first touched the hammer what it could do. It’s broken, but there’s just enough power left. For a few minutes, I can be invincible.
I whisper that unrepeatable, unpronounceable word, and power flows out of the hammer and into me. I feel light and quick; the world slows down. I flex one hand, and feel the power of a mountain in it. It’s so good; it feels like cheating. For a few minutes, I’m CoreFire. I’m better than CoreFire—I’m Doctor Impossible.
I swing and hit him on the chin just as he’s getting up, and he pinwheels around and back into the floor. The shock sends echoes through the room. He looks a little surprised, like he didn’t think I had it in me. He’s won too many times before to have expected anything new. But he’s not scared yet.
“Nelson Gerard says hello.” Hopping down a step, I brace myself and hit him again, harder. Ka-tham! Echoes bounce off the vaulted ceiling. I know what he’s feeling, because this is what always happens to me, two minutes before I go back to prison. He’s dazed now, trying to shake it off.
“Wh…” It’s like he’s starting to form a question.
“Feel that? Who’s invincible now?”
I hit him and he actually flies through the air to the far wall. His face is getting a puffy look I’ve never seen before. I must be starting to get through to him. He’s learning something, just as I once did. And I’m learning, too. I’d been stupid, trying so many elaborate devices, when it always comes down to a punching match. Boom! The heroes had been showing me all along exactly how it’s done. Why hadn’t I paid attention?
He’s barely on his feet now. He starts to put his hands up, trying to form fists. I set it up again, taking my time. One, two, three, boom! Who was the first person to hit you, CoreFire? It was me.
I hit him and hit him, knocking him all the way out into the front courtyard. The charge runs down eventually. He blacks out near the end, just like I used to. And for one utterly still and perfect moment, I’ve conquered the world.
I drag him back to the main laboratory, and chain him to a pillar. There doesn’t seem to be anywhere else to put him.
Waiting, while the machinery powers up, I doze. There’s still a lot I don’t understand about that long-ago night. Memory doesn’t work the way it ought to, reeling off like a movie. Pieces come back sometimes, fragments of the insoluble mystery of the past. Erica again—we were doing laundry together—the buzz of fluorescent lights and the thrum of the dryers seemed unbelievably loud. The air was warm and stale in the basement. She cocked her head, inclined just fractionally toward me, and something in the air changed. I thought for a second she was going to kiss me. I flushed. This is it, I thought. I thought I felt her lips already, warm against mine, parting. This is how it happens, how you become another person, how you get to grow up.
Then the timer buzzed, and she looked up, startled. Now I’m in the old lab again. It’s time to check the mixture. Down the long fluorescentlit corridor, with that faint acrid laboratory smell, half nauseating and half comforting. That’s how it began. Then the explosion, and the long, long, long, long mourning afterward.
“I know you’re awake.”
You’d be surprised what it takes to restrain an entity with his capacities. It took a while.
“Fine. Pretend. In just a few minutes, I’m going to become the greatest supervillain of all time. I thought you should watch. Open your eyes at least. I’m standing right here.”
Finally, he does.
“It’s good, isn’t it? I actually think it’s my best one yet. You should appreciate my work more, you know. You’re the only one who gets to see it.”
He doesn’t respond.
“Nothing? Oh well. I tried.”
He heaves a deep, exasperated sigh, like I’m boring him terribly. In a low voice, he asks, “Look, will you at least tell me what this is all about?”
“What it’s about? I’m so glad you asked.” I steeple my fingers and touch them to my lips. I can’t help myself; it’s just good to be a villain, every once in a while.
“Like you, I had powers. I could have gone your way. I didn’t, but you know, I can almost imagine what it must have been like. The first time, as you waited for the sun to go down, not until eight o’clock maybe in the summer months. You’d wait in your room, doing a few stretches while the streets cleared. You were in your apartment, maybe, in New York.
“Then you opened the window, pushed it all the way up. Set your left foot in the sill, poked your head out, and stood. Leaning out a little bit, one hand still hooked inside, you let your body extend and hang a little. The night air smelled like a forest; the wind slipped under your T-shirt. The moon was almost full, lighting up the night, an invitation to climb. And you did, fingers finding gaps in the facade, up the side of the building like a ladder. Nothing to it.
“Up on the rooftop, you could see the city, smell it. The air was like a warm bath; the wind was sour and salty coming off the bay. You jogged back and forth a couple of times, then sighted in on the building across the alley. The gap was fifteen feet, and five stories down; without giving yourself time to think, you sprinted, springboarded off the low wall, did a lazy somersault in the air before you hit, arms extended, not even a wobble. Perfect. The accident that gave you this power never too
k anything away—you were still strong, quick, muscles like spring steel and skin like Teflon.
“Soon it was a rhythm, ten steps and release, moving downtown. Once or twice you’d had to catch a ledge and hang by your hands, or take a few hops to the left or right, but in the end, you’d gone half a mile without touching pavement. In the slanted light of the setting sun, you were golden.
“You’d go all over the city at night, Harlem, SoHo, Wall Street. Lurking around neighborhoods and waiting for a drug deal or a mugging. Then the feeling, as you stepped from the shadow of a stairwell. The criminals thought you were just a kid with something on his face. They were laughing, and they didn’t know what was coming. Then the cries of ‘Oh no,’ the priceless look on their faces. And the victims’ gratitude. That thanks I never got, for all my scheming.
“But of course it wasn’t like that for you. You could fly. You just rose up from the rooftops and into the warm night air. Then you swooped around a little until you spotted some hapless evildoer. It must have been awesome. God, to have all the world love you like that. And for what? For joining the winning team. So easy. But not this time…Jason.”
For once, I provoke a reaction.
“What? How do you know my name?” He’s a little nervous, even. He’d better be. I savor every syllable.
“Oh ho ho…Well you might wonder. Did you never think about what happened to your old friend? The one who made you, made you what you are, and your greatest enemy. And you never guessed, after all these years.”
He gapes. “Who? You’re not…Professor Burke?”
Fuck. “No…who made you, Jason.”
CoreFire is nonplussed.
“I don’t really understand what you’re talking about.”
“What about this? I’ll let you go, and all you have to do is tell me my real name.” Nothing. And now it comes.
“Maybe…this will refresh your memory.” I take off my mask and let him see me, all the better to look at his blank, mild, staring face. Finally. It feels like it’s been a thousand years.
He clears his throat nervously. “I’m sorry?”
“From college. You know. From Peterson. The one who followed you, looked up to you. Created you. Beat you. Right? Right?”
Slow, uncomprehending shake of the head. Nothing.
“Fine. Fine. Doesn’t matter. After all, when I rule the world, they’ll know me. And worship me. Even…Erica!”
I let the name sink in. I know it’s not original. I know it was a long time ago.
“Who?” he asks.
“Erica.” I try to pack some meaning into the name, but I have to admit he looks a little blank. “Um…you know. The writer.”
He shakes his head a little apologetically. “I guess. I mean, I remember who she is and all, sure. But, um, why, do you know her?”
Jesus. It’s not as if I expected an apology. Fine. That’s great. Super, in fact. My life’s ambition wasted. I guess it doesn’t matter after all. If you’ll just wait there, I’ll go and destroy the world with this machine I’ve built.
“We’re screwed now, buddy,” I mutter. I throw the main switch. Behind me, the mammoth engines go into overdrive, shifting their hum another few steps up the scale. For the first time, I think he might look a little scared. I keep talking as I work.
“Doctor Impossible. My name’s Doctor Impossible. You could at least have said that. Well, too bad, Jason, you’ve blown your chance to save the world. There isn’t going to be a next time, Jason. I hope you’ve noticed the Moon’s a little bigger. I’m going to scrawl my name across this puny planet. My real name, Doctor Impossible.
“I’m taking over the world, and you’re going to watch…. Hahahaha…ahahahahahahaha!”
I laugh, but the mechanics of total world conquest are enormously vexed. You’ll notice that if you ever try it. Conventional house-to-house and nation-to-nation pacification is unwieldy, to say the least. It’s particularly hard to keep track of all the islands. There’s mind control, if you’ve got the means, but it’s awkward. There’s no fun in waking everybody up in the morning, every day, and telling them to brush their teeth. You can do it by proxy, stealthily infiltrating major world governments, but then who gets the credit?
Probably the most foolproof method is to come up with a way of destroying the world, and then just let everyone know you have it. And then you sit on it for as long as you can, knowing that in the end somebody’s going to knock you off your perch, whether or not you have the guts to pull the switch.
This is going to be different. This is one thing they didn’t foresee. I don’t have to destroy the Earth, just cool it down a little. Soon we’ll see temperature drops of ten or twenty degrees Celsius. Ice creeps down from the poles, and the Earth’s whiteness starts reflecting more heat back into space, cooling things down further. Global warming becomes a fond memory.
This is the Ice Empire scenario, one of the Baron’s better concepts, but I’ll be the one to pull it off, ruling from an enormous city of ice, each year the Earth’s potentates begging me for a few more degrees Celsius. They’ll need my zeta technology to survive, a collateral bonus, and I’ll finally be able to tell that wretched Nobel committee what to do. And then the charm of the conceit, a huge aesthetic upside. Ice castles rising above now-frozen cities. Underground caves, fed by thermal vents. Cross-country skiing, pine forests, and I’ll clone off some mammoths and wolves for effect. Every year a white Christmas!
And things won’t have to be all that different. A few parades, maybe. New York will be Impossible City. Or Impossibleopolis. Maybe a few Ethergrads here and there. And I can always swing the Earth’s orbit in a bit for the occasional sunny day. It’s not like I’m going to be a jerk about it.
I give the Champions a short little speech in their cells, then glance over at the figure slumped in despair between the supporting pillars. Who knew that it was all so easy?
It feels so good, I just have to say it:
“So much for Core Fire. And so much for those wretched Champions!” Then, right behind me, someone clears her throat, and I freeze. “Well, almost.”
I don’t know how she got in, but then Lily’s always been hard to see. CoreFire revives a little to see her, his gallant rescuer.
“Hello, Jonathan,” she says. “It’s nice to see you.”
“Lily. And what a lovely outfit.” I try to keep my voice steady. I’m not ready for this yet. She’s still wearing her New Champions regalia. I make a sardonic bow, hoping I look at least somewhat composed. She shrugs, then takes a step toward me.
“Don’t move!” I try to put some steel in it. I draw the blaster again, not quite pointing it at her.
“Fine.” She puts her hands up in mock surrender. “Should I just wait here?”
“Whatever. Just don’t think you can stop me.”
“Yes, I know. Nobody can stop you, Jonathan.”
“It’s Doctor Impossible to you. Don’t try to free him. I’m warning you.” It’s a standoff for the moment. The fact is, I’m not really sure I could stop her. I’ve never had to try.
“So is this really you now? These people?” I ask. I nod my head at CoreFire, chained. Seriously, she could at least be embarrassed about it.
“Come on, Jonathan.”
“That’s Doctor Impossible. What do you think you’re doing here, Lily?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I just thought I’d see what was happening. I quit the New Champions two days ago, for your information. Why, what exactly are you doing?”
“Taking over the world, actually. Eternity of snow and ice. Myself the only source of power, that sort of thing. Everybody swears fealty or death. You included.” CoreFire is watching us like a hawk, waiting for one of us to make a move.
“A new Ice Age? Huh.”
“Something wrong? Feeling a little…chilly, perhaps?”
“I’d hoped for something more imaginative. Wasn’t that one of the Baron’s ideas?” she asks.
“Shut up! It’s the
Ice Empire, and it’s totally going to work.”
“Well, it isn’t now, I’m afraid.” She takes another step. I point the blaster at her again, not that she seems to care.
“That’s right, Impossible,” CoreFire snarls, emboldened. “You’re finished!”
Lily doesn’t even turn around to answer him. “You shut up, fuck-head. I’ve got your number.”
I trace an imaginary line on the floor with my foot. “I’m not kidding. I could throw this planet into the Sun at any time! If you get any closer I mean.”
“Look, don’t take it personally, I just don’t want to live the rest of my life in your Ice Age thing. By the power vested in me by the New Champions, I’m hereby saving the world. Step away from the machine.”
I wave her back with the blaster, one hand on the lever. “Don’t cross that line. I’m serious. It works.” Why is no one afraid of my blaster?
She advances another step, taking her time. I touch the Hammer of Ra at my belt, but it’s cold and silent, just a rock on a stick.
She puts up her fists.
“You really want to do this?” I ask, giving her my “Stay back; I’m crazy” look. “Last chance. I’m tougher than you think.”
She crosses the line. The rest doesn’t take long, and I’d actually rather not describe it. Let’s just say I have the sense to fold up after a couple of rounds, and she leaves me tied to the pylon next to CoreFire’s. I wish he hadn’t seen that. She’s not even breathing hard.
Then she turns her attention to the machine. With a little admiration, I like to think, a little regret. Both of us watch her.
I try to delay the inevitable. “Are you hoping you’ll get a medal? Maybe you’ll get your boyfriend back.”
She ignores me. She’s thinking of something else, and after a moment she starts to speak in a low voice. I’m not even sure who she’s talking to at first.
“You must have wondered what happened to me. Didn’t you? I thought you were supposed to be smart.”
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