by M. D. Grimm
But he hadn’t moved more than two feet when another scent hit his nose, one he had never smelled in this place. One he’d only ever smelled in Haven. Jack’s mind switched instantly from thoughts of hunting to thoughts of mating. He lifted his head, scanning the tree line and sniffing the air, which brought the creature’s scent down to where Jack stood.
Travis.
His scent was more pungent than in human form. It tickled Jack’s nose gleefully, making his body shake in anticipation. He scanned for sounds, but the shifter was silent as a ghost. In Jack’s excitement he gave a short bark, which startled the elk, and he realized this would disrupt Travis’s hunt. He wondered whether Travis would even recognize him in this form, whether he would come out or simply slink away. Determined not to let the latter happen, Jack trotted toward the trees, following a scent that became stronger and more erotic.
A slight noise to his right brought him up short, and he paused only a moment before heading that way. The scent’s increased intensity told him he was going in the right direction. After a minute, the trees thinned at the side of a rocky rise. Boulders lay haphazardly at the base, and on top of one of those boulders was a golden form, utterly motionless, with pale, pale blue eyes staring back at him.
Wait, no, not staring. Overlaying their blue color were spots and stripes, marring their beauty. The skin around his eyes was bald and scarred. It was a sight better than when Jack first viewed Travis’s eyes, though it still made his heart ache to think of the pain his friend had endured. He paused only a moment before coming closer. Jack barked and ran in circles, hoping and praying Travis would recognize him.
The tip of the cougar’s tail flipped back and forth and the round ears twitched. Jack rose onto his hind legs and pressed his front paws against the boulder, his tail wagging hard and fast. In human form he wanted Travis, but considering his wolf’s excitement, now he knew his wolf desired the cougar. Now the question was, would Travis want him in this form?
The cougar gave a high-pitched snarl. His shoulders rolled. He slowly stood and leaned down, sniffing. Jack stood as still as he could, despite his desire to play, to jump around and nip at his mate. He wanted to run together. After a couple of minutes of sniffing and listening, Travis seemed to have satisfied himself that Jack was really Jack. He leapt off the boulder and landed not far away.
Jack had been right when he’d pictured what Travis would look like. He was graceful and sleek, nothing but muscle and golden fur. Travis paced, his face low and his blank eyes nearly shut. Sensing residual tension in the cougar, Jack padded slowly and carefully toward him. When Jack was right next to Travis, Jack leaned forward and nuzzled Travis’s neck. The cougar shivered, and there was another snarl, although this one sounded less aggressive and more interested.
Without warning, Travis pounced. Jack tumbled to the ground, the cougar pinning him down. He was terrified at first, and then Travis purred, indicating the playful manner. Travis even bumped his nose against Jack’s face before lightly mouthing his nose. Delighted, Jack struggled and fought to regain his feet. The challenge of battling a shifter made of solid muscle was exhilarating. They used their claws and teeth with restraint; gripping, holding, but not tearing. While they were roughly similar in length and height, Travis was stronger. And then there were those claws. Jack was careful not to let things become too rough, lest the big cat forgot himself.
When he gained his feet, Jack tore off into the open field. Travis followed, quickly catching up to him and swatting at his legs, claws thankfully sheathed, in a playful attempt to trip him. But Jack was wise to the cat’s tricks and turned sharply. Then he admired the way Travis maneuvered and his sure footing. Amazing!
If he’d known playing with Travis was this fun, he would have done it many years sooner.
The twin desires to conquer and play with the wolf churned deep inside Travis. His focus on Jack never wavered, and the smell of the wolf surrounded him, intoxicated him. He’d been hunting that elk, intent on taking it down, when the wolf disrupted his hunt. Enraged, he’d wanted to attack the wolf. That was before he recognized Jack’s scent, and all desire to attack vanished.
Travis’s blindness failed to diminish the beauty of the land for him. The scent of pollen and the crisp scent of snow, the sound of the river splashing and flowing nearby, were only enhanced. And while in cougar form he could actually see some color, even the outlines of large objects. He could also detect movement, which meant he could hunt. As a human, he couldn’t see anything—the visual world was just a black pit of nothingness. The partial sight was something he was too terrified to speak about, afraid it would vanish if he did. He first noticed it a year back, and he hoped and prayed eventually some sight would return in his human form as well.
Jack sharply turned and Travis stopped, bored with chasing and wanting more physical contact. More than anything, he longed to see what Jack looked like. He yearned to see both the beauty of the wolf and the beauty of the man. But he would have to settle for what he had. His muscles quivered as he felt Jack pacing in front of him, waiting, analyzing. The urge to tackle was evident in the other as much as it was in himself. But who would attack first?
Jack abruptly launched himself at Travis and nipped his neck, shoving him with his entire body. Travis snarled in eagerness and shoved him back. They continued to play, to shove, and to nip, until the sky began to darken. Then Jack lay down, and his heavy panting mixed with Travis’s own. Travis padded over to the wolf and lay down next to him, leaning back against his body. Jack made soft chuffing noises and rubbed his long, wet nose against Travis’s cheek. Then the wolf put his paw over Travis’s and everything between them changed.
Jack had seen Travis’s blindness again after all these years and wasn’t repulsed. Hell, he hadn’t been repulsed the first time. Now his wolf had accepted Travis’s cougar, and Travis was thrilled his cougar had accepted the wolf. Travis laid his head on his paws, leaning his cheek on Jack’s paw. The wolf rested his chin on the top of Travis’s head, and Travis wished this perfect moment could last forever.
The sun was sinking over the horizon when Jack began to stir, nudging Travis to move as well. Travis snarled low with annoyance but acquiesced. Then he opened his eyes and was shocked to the bone.
As the sun sank lower and dusk settled around them, Travis’s sight began to clear, as though a dense fog were slowly lifting. He swung his head around and stared at Jack, a magnificent wolf with a lush coat and intense silver eyes. His legs were thin and his body was long and rangy. His tail wagged slightly, and his ears moved constantly. The incredible was happening: he was seeing Jack! He could see the tail, the eyes, the legs, and he could see the trees in the distance and the eyes of an owl watching them.
But then, as the sun dipped completely behind the horizon, his vision faded. The fog fell over his eyes again. He let out a deep, agonized whine and rubbed his paws over his face, wondering if he’d gone crazy. In his misery, Travis barely felt hands on his head and back, stroking, trying to get his attention. Jack had shifted.
“Travis, Travis, what is it?” His voice was full of concern. “What happened? Are you in pain?”
Oh yes. In such pain. There were no words to describe the agony. He shifted back into human form, tears flooding from his broken eyes.
Jack held him, silently stroking Travis’s head and rocking him. Travis clung to Jack, desperate for that anchor, desperate for comfort. It never occurred to him that they were naked, alone, and in the dark. The unhappy truth—that he only had real, acute sight during the short time of dusk—drowned out everything else.
Chapter Seven
Jack drove them back to town since Travis had made the journey to the park as a cougar. He’d dug out a thick blanket to wrap around Travis and turned the heater up as high as it would go. They didn’t speak, and Jack didn’t know what the problem was, but Travis didn’t appear ready to tell him. His head was down, and Jack noticed that the discoloration in Travis’s eyes as a cougar held
true for his human form as well.
It was now fully dark, and he drove carefully. Jack would never forget the innocent joy of chasing and wrestling with Travis. He wished he could stay in that time forever, but that was impossible. His life wasn’t innocent or childlike. He had duties, responsibilities, and a pack that monitored his every move. As he turned onto the gravel road that led to Haven, Travis’s voice startled him out of his thoughts.
“I won’t tell you why I’m blind, Jack, not yet. But the reason—the reason I became so emotional back there was because, just for a while, I could see.”
Jack looked at Travis’s face in shock.
“For about a year now, I’ve been able to see shapes and colors when I’m a cougar. But in human form, I’m still blind.” His voice hitched. “Back there, when dusk was settling, for the first time I could see—clearly. Like I could before…. I saw you, I saw the forest, the sky—and then it was gone. I—well, it was awful and wonderful at the same time. I can’t explain it any other way.”
Jack reached over and grabbed Travis’s hand. “You don’t need to. I’m sorry, baby.”
Travis gripped his hand. “Did you just call me baby?”
Jack frowned. He entered town. “Huh, I think I did. Sorry.”
A minute or two later, Jack braked in front of Travis’s home. Travis suddenly turned and fumbled to touch Jack’s face before leaning across and kissing him on the mouth. It was explosive and sweet at the same time.
“Sorry?” Travis murmured. “Don’t be.”
Jack gripped Travis’s shoulders, all at once remembering the forest, holding Travis’s naked body as he cried. Despite the confusion he’d felt during that short time, he couldn’t ignore the warmth and texture of Travis’s skin, the muscles that were just as sleek in human form, the soft blond hair under his hands, and the way Travis felt so right in his arms. Like he belonged there.
Going with the moment, Jack grabbed the corners of the blanket that covered Travis’s body and pulled it aside. Travis tried to move away but Jack tightened his hold on Travis’s hair and nipped his lips before thrusting his tongue into his mouth, earning a surprised gasp from him.
After his initial surprise, Travis pressed tighter against Jack. His large body effectively trapped Jack against the driver’s door. Jack hardened quickly, and visions of the two of them with nothing between them, not even air, quickly sprang up in his mind. He wanted, yearned for Travis to be above him, underneath him, everywhere. And he wanted those burning lips to explore his entire body.
Then Jack’s phone rang.
Both men jumped back, startled like guilty teenagers. Jack fumbled for his phone, panting slightly. He stared at Travis, who was pulling the blanket back around his body.
“What?” he barked as he answered the phone.
“Dinner, that’s what,” his sister barked back, annoyance obvious in her tone. “Remember, genius? Dad’s furious and mom’s panicking. We’ve been calling you for hours.”
He glanced at Travis, who was clearly hearing the conversation.
“Sorry, I was out of range. I’ll be there shortly.”
“You’d better. And you better not smell like… anything.” She hung up.
Jack winced.
“I’ll go,” Travis said, turning to get out.
“Travis—” Jack grabbed his shoulder.
“You need to go home,” he said, but this time he smiled. Jack could only watch as Travis left the truck, feeling both furious and painfully turned on. It came to him with terrible clarity that he was playing with fire here, and he was close to being burned. But Dammit! He wanted that heat, that warmth. The worst part was that he wished he didn’t want it. His life would be amazingly easier if his desire for Travis would just die. If he could simply go along with pack tradition and settle down with another wolf—but he knew himself too well. He liked difference, which had always caused conflict between him and his pack. He was the odd wolf, and they all knew it. He was torn between his heart and his head. He didn’t want to break the bond he had with his pack, but neither did he want to lose Travis. He could be himself when he was with the cougar shifter.
Jack dragged his hands through his short hair and sighed heavily. With the weight of guilt and despair on his shoulders, he started his truck and headed home.
Travis bent under the steps leading up to his porch and reached for his keys hidden under a rock. He stumbled inside, shut the door, and then leaned back against it. His legs were actually trembling, and his erection was throbbing angrily at the interruption. He pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders and let his head fall forward until his chin rested on his chest. His hands were shaking too.
That had been, well, something completely unexpected. Sure, they had chemistry—they’d always had chemistry. But this, this was something more. He’d never felt anything like it, in spite of being quite experienced when it came to sex and relationships. He’d had plenty when he was younger, before his abduction, before his blindness. And afterwards, a few showed interest, for a short time at least.
But now! Now he wanted to pursue. Jack had been after him for years, and now Travis seriously considered giving in. Travis felt his cougar crouch and hiss, lusting for the hunt, yearning to mate. And Travis wanted desperately to connect with someone, to be part of a family again. But Jack’s pack would never accept him. Never. So why set himself up for heartache?
His cougar growled.
Travis walked into the bathroom, dropped the blanket, climbed into the tub, and started the water. Jack had singled him out when he first arrived in Haven. Jack hadn’t been simply nice, but helpful, assisting Travis in finding a job and a place to live. Jack even grabbed Travis’s hand, helping him across the street, and counted his money for him. At the time, Travis had been less than grateful. Frankly, it had annoyed him, even humiliated him slightly. He’d never had to depend on anyone before other than his parents, and they had encouraged independence. In the beginning of his life in Haven, Travis had resented and resisted the change to dependence caused by his blindness and in learning about his new home. He remembered, during those times, when in anger he had lashed out at Jack. But Jack seemed to be made of Teflon. Travis’s attacks had just slid right off him. They didn’t seem to faze him. And Travis had said some awful stuff. He cringed, thinking about the derogatory, cutting remarks he’d made about wolves and canines in general. But Jack, whenever it happened, would just laugh and change the subject.
Travis had come to depend on Jack more than he was comfortable admitting. The idea that Jack and he might form a lasting bond, that he would always be there, was both reassuring and terrifying.
Would he survive if Jack for some reason was torn away from him? Travis’s family had been his center, and he’d nearly died when they’d been ripped away from him. He didn’t think he could survive another such tearing. But he didn’t want to be the reason Jack might be torn from his family. Family meant even more to wolves then cougars, by all accounts. Their pack was a part of their identity, their world. It sickened Travis to think he might cause the separation of Jack from his pack.
Travis dried himself off, collapsed into bed, and curled up under the blankets. Jack was a stubborn bastard and doggedly persistent. The choice had to be made by both of them. They would have to decide together what sacrifices they were willing to make. And whether they were worth the risks.
Jack dashed into his apartment, intending to take a quick shower and change his clothes. But he found out his only brother, Jager, had decided to ambush him. Jager was standing in Jack’s living room when he opened the door. For an instant Jack felt inclined to walk out. But then he straightened his shoulders, determined not to feel like a naughty teenager. He was thirty-five years old, for heaven’s sake! And what gave Jager the right to just show up and invade his home?
“Mom sent me over to make sure you weren’t dead,” Jager said in a low growl, one eyebrow raised.
“Well, as you can see,” Jack said coldly,
“I’m not. I need a quick change, and I’ll be over for dinner.” He tried to pass his brother, but Jager grabbed his arm.
“You’re already two hours late.”
“You know what?” Jack jerked his arm away and barely resisted shoving his brother back. This was his home, after all. He would not be submissive in it. “I’ve never forgotten a dinner in my entire life. And the one time I do, you all are set to crucify me. Does that seem right?”
Jager opened his mouth to speak, and then stopped and sniffed. Jack’s muscles tightened as his brother’s nose wrinkled.
“What is that stench?”
Jack bristled. His wolf rose and prowled, snarling in defense. But he swallowed his anger instead. “I was with a friend,” he said with forced casualness. “I lost track of time. There isn’t a need for Mom to fall into hysterics.”
But Jager leaned forward and sniffed again. Jack shoved his brother away again and walked into his bedroom.
“It smells feline,” Jager said accusingly.
“This may come as a shock to you, Jag, but there are feline shifters in this happy little town of ours. You should know—you were sheriff before I was.”
“That may be, but I didn’t spend enough time with them to smell like I’d bathed in their saliva,” Jager said.
“Give it a fucking rest.”
“Jena said you called off early today.”
“Phoenix blood, are you my wardens?”
“I just—”
Jack cut Jager off when he slammed the door of his bathroom. He rolled his shoulders and focused on his breathing. He stripped, jumped into the shower, and began scrubbing hard. Well, this is going just beautifully! Jager had been a good sheriff, fair and sympathetic, but he had always felt superior to the other types of shifters in Haven, which was common among wolves. According to them, wolves were the top echelon. Their father thought the same. Somehow, however, Jack had never felt that way.