I don’t hear the rest because Elizabeth lowers her voice.
Elizabeth was willing to come back and make things work and bring his daughter right to him. The one person he’s always wanted.
Now I’m the reason that she’s hell-bent on revenge.
Tears slide down my cheeks before I can stop them, and when Noah asks what’s wrong on his return, I can’t help it.
Noah comforts me as I sob into his arms, overcome with guilt.
5
Noah
September 12, 2009
I hold Tinsley tenderly, as she weeps.
I'm heartbroken that there isn't anything I might say to convince her Elizabeth will change her mind.
How in the hell did she get in here?
“Tinsley, listen,” I say, hoping against hope that my soothing voice might comfort her.
“I can't undo anything Elizabeth has already done. You must realize that I would never take this back. Please, don’t assume I would.”
Tinsley turns her gorgeous face up to look at me, misery etched on every curve.
It’s tearing me apart!
Damn that woman!
Elizabeth has just made everything so much more complicated!
I kiss Tinsley’s tears away, as they continue to stream down her beautiful cheeks.
She sniffs, a then she nods.
“Lizzie is a volatile woman; no one can control her. I don't pretend to perceive what goes on in that woman's head,” I tell her.
Tinsley nods again, hugging me tighter than ever.
I can barely breath.
“Nothing could prevent her from keeping my daughter from me, even if this didn't happen. You and I won’t alter that one bit,” I say, sternly.
I mean it.
Nothing is going to keep me from Ava.
“You and I?” Tinsley hiccups, her tears subsiding.
“There is a you and I? Isn't there?” I ask her, wondering exactly what I'm saying.
There is us.
Whether we both acknowledge it or not, at this moment, there will always be an us to my mind.
I can’t imagine not having Tinsley Whittaker in my life.
The feelings that surface in the act of us coming together like this are enlightening.
“I've never felt like this before,” I confess, taking her hands in mine. “It’s maddening to me that even though I understand it's impossible, I want it with all my being. Do you understand, Tinsley?”
She hugs me tight, again, and nods against my chest.
“I do, Noah. But, it feels impossible, doesn’t it?” she looks tearful again. “I wanted it too though,” She says, biting her lip.
I can see her anguish, and maybe she regrets what happened.
“I wanted it so bad I didn't consider…” she starts.
“Consider what?” I ask.
“I already cared about you, Noah Stone,” she confesses. “For a long, long time,” she says, and then she kisses me.
We linger, tasting our salty tears, and I am lost once more.
I know for certain I’ve fallen hopelessly for this woman.
“Do you regret it?” I have to know.
“Never!” Her immediate response is definite. “I could never regret something so amazing! It's hard to explain to you how long I've figured there was something between us. I tried to persuade myself it was never anything, and I was just foolish.”
I instantly know what she means.
That day I met her in the park, when I assumed she was someone else?
I knew right then that I wanted that woman in my bed.
I tried to convince myself otherwise, rationalizing that she would be better off with someone else.
Anyone else, except me.
I was too old, too close, too much Noah Stone, the Manhattan Marvel.
In our simple kiss, in the passion I feel in that moment, I realize that Tinsley only wants me.
There's nothing more to it.
“My desire for you overcame everything else. I suppose we should have been more careful,” I say.
And, when I claimed her as mine?
At that moment I had every intention of using a condom.
They were right there, on the nightstand, and there was no reason not to take a moment to slide one onto my cock.
But, I couldn’t.
I didn’t dare.
I wanted to feel her, flesh to flesh, our bare-naked skin melting together, sliding with the most delicious friction into and out of each other.
To meld as one.
And then, I, Noah Stone, lost control of myself, and came inside of a woman.
Something I’d never done before.
The reasons in my head for being especially careful with her disappeared.
Every single filthy thought I was having, my animal lust for her, the smell of our bodies heaving through the arc of our lovemaking, hearing the sounds that spilled from her mouth, and the feeling of her need for me completely blew away all semblance of control.
It was raw, naked lust for her, and I sought to possess her in every possible way.
I licked her neck, nibbled on her ears, swallowed her tongue, let her fingers roam amongst our entangled bodies; feeling like a god.
So, I came inside Tinsley, and it was incredible.
I’d spent years being so careful; I was always aware of the consequences.
So, I became that man.
The careful one, the one who couldn’t make mistakes.
That man died in the climax of our loving, and in his death I cannot find an ounce of regret for what I did.
“Okay. Okay, Noah,” Tinsley says.
She doesn't care either.
That neither of us cares ultimately disturbs me.
Pregnancy is something that happens when you are not careful.
We were not careful.
I find the possibility of getting Tinsley pregnant endearing, something I would want.
I would want children with her, and a life with her.
I would marry Tinsley in a heartbeat.
“Should we talk about this?” Tinsley bites her lip, again.
She is sitting on my bed casually, most of her curves exposed as the sheets fall away from her body.
“Not yet,” I tell her.
If I explain that I want to give her everything when we are in such a precarious position, it would only confuse the issue.
I can’t bind Tinsley to me until I find Ava.
If I am to be Tinsley's husband, she needs all of me.
And, until I get Ava, there won’t be enough to go around.
As I gaze over every bruise and bite mark, I get aroused again, taking her lips between my teeth and pressing her back into the sheets,
She doesn't protest.
“For now,” I whisper, “I will make you mine, all over again.”
“Okay.”
Her voice is dreamy as we press together again, and her legs curl around my waist.
Tinsley is long gone as I lay in bed that night, but everything, my sheets, the room, my body smells like Tinsley.
I am filled with thoughts of her, my body alive and tingling.
Dangerous thoughts ruminate in my head as I go over and over scenarios that may happen due to my inability to function correctly when that woman is around.
It does not matter if she gets pregnant.
That would be our child.
Nothing will stop me from being with her then.
We don't need a reason to be together.
That would make her that much more mine.
Fiji.
We'd get married in Fiji.
My mind demands, more than anything, Tinsley, whom I can't be with.
This pains me so deeply it's like having a heart attack.
My breath is short, and I can't catch it.
The world spins around me.
I can't be with Tinsley!
She isn't mine to hold!
I recognize that now
.
Elizabeth will destroy everything in her path to get to me.
Long gone, suddenly, are the days of being a rich man in my playground.
This is no longer about the love of my life; this is my vendetta against who I've become.
My father built his empire, and I've been using it.
It's time to become the man everyone expects me to be.
I realize now that whatever my reputation is if Olivia can stain it, I must become more.
Rushing into my office in nothing but a pair of briefs, I open a new document.
Then, I call the accountant, waking him from his sleep at this late hour.
This is not unusual, though.
He’s come to expect me making decisions at odd hours.
He picks up on ring number three.
“Mr. Stone,” he answers.
“NLS Financials. You've studied the idea through?” I ask. “We're doing it.”
“Okay… we'll put together…” he starts, but I cut him off.
“No. I want you,” I tell him firmly. “Wallace, I want you on my staff. You will bring whoever you want; I'll pay double your salary,” I order him.
We need to come up with a plan.
I can bring in some contacts from Florida; then we'll see who else.
Olivia has compromised all of my Manhattan contacts at the moment.
Wallace is adept at these things.
“They'll want in on this, your other contacts. I suggest Dubai first,” he says.
I smile.
Wallace is a good man.
“That's what I was considering,” I say, confirming his intuitions.
“We'll need a floor in Midtown I assume? You'll want the whole floor? Perhaps a top floor?” I can hear Wallace typing away on his computer.
By the time we get off the phone, he's got three weeks’ worth of work, his letter of resignation is finished and emailed to his firm, and he’s officially on my payroll.
It’s just four in the morning.
Everything I’ve done in my life before this pales in comparison to what I am now planning.
Until now I've been playing with my money.
This firm will make me a real player in the game, especially with the Stone name behind it.
My father would be proud of me now.
I am standing up to be the man he always saw I could be.
This is what I should have been my whole life.
I see deep down Tinsley belongs to me.
But that cannot happen as I am.
I also have to save Ava from her mother before her mother destroys everything.
There's just one problem.
My plans mean that I must travel to the Middle East.
I am going to have to recruit some pretty heavy investors, and this is going to be a challenge.
It’s going to require me spending significant time there.
Away from the distractions of Olivia and Elizabeth.
Away from my beloved Tinsley.
It’s the only way I can get focused enough to find Ava, and position myself to finally rid my life of these soul-destroying women.
This is the best way to get my company soaring quickly.
The Mid East contacts I have don't care about my scandal.
They don't give two shits about Olivia, because my wife is nothing to them.
I'm thankful for this.
September will bleed into October, and before October finishes, I must leave.
I must leave Tinsley Whittaker, the woman I love, to find my daughter.
And, to form an empire!
6
Tinsley
September 13, 2009
Sneaking in Saturday night proves pointless because my parents aren’t home.
I find it odd, because it’s past one in the morning.
I go to sleep, hoping I will dream about Noah.
Morning finds me refreshed but disappointed.
I don’t recall any dreams at all.
I slide into a light sweater and jeans before going down to the kitchen, where my parents are having breakfast.
I can tell this will be another ‘silent’ breakfast as I sit down and pour my coffee.
They've been keeping less and less staff lately.
It's no skin off my nose.
My mother can cook and clean, but she doesn't care.
I don’t mind helping her either.
I’m an excellent cook, almost better than my mother.
It's almost like she knew this was coming.
“Where did Connor and yourself disappear to last night?” Father asks. “His father said he got in late, and he wouldn't admit to who he was with?” he says, probing.
“Oh…” I say, as I twist my long hair between my fingers, “Nowhere special,”
“Right,” he says.
My father's eyes are on me.
“You two got along then?” he asks.
“Yes,” I lie.
I press my lips together, hearing my cellphone in my pocket.
A distraction is exactly what is called for at this moment.
It's Connor.
And my heart drops.
“Connor,” I answer, coolly.
I try to stop my heart from pounding out of my chest.
Noah and I almost got caught!
“My parents caught me sneaking in last night,” Connor says. “They knew I was with a woman. I lied and said it was you. They were just badgering me, and it came out,” Connor confesses.
“Ugh,” I sigh. “Well… I guess that's the story, isn't it? Did you say anything else?” I ask.
“No,” Connor sighs with relief.
Bastard.
“It's… it's…” I try to think of something to say. “Listen, it's a big deal. My parents expect me to wait for marriage. I hope you implied nothing,” I tell him.
This is not a complete lie.
My mother always instilled in me the value of my virginity.
But, officially, I am no longer a virgin.
With that realization, I suddenly crave Noah's body on top of me.
Naughty girl!
I smile, secretly, hiding it from my parents with the phone.
If this lie will keep me from having to sleep with Connor, even if we do indeed end up having to date, as long as Noah and I can be together, I'll do what it takes.
“No, no. I implied nothing. I respect that,” Connor replies. “Let me at least take you to lunch?” he begs.
“No,” I refuse.
“Just give in, I know you will, eventually, Tinsley. Why play this game?” he tells me angrily.
“Fine,” I spit back.
“I'll pick you up in a few hours?” Connor says.
“Pick me up at two,” I order him.
“Two it is. See you then,” he confirms.
“Connor?” my mother inquires.
I sit back down for breakfast, no longer hungry.
“Connor. We're having lunch at two,” I tell her as I grab my coffee and stand up, my phone ringing again.
It’s Noah.
Frowning, to throw off my parents, I come up with a quick lie.
“This is just Connor; he wanted to run a restaurant past me,” I say, running out of the room.
“All right,” says my father.
He smiles at me for the first time since I returned from Italy.
I'm out of earshot when I pick up the phone.
“Noah?” I ask.
“Yes,” he sounds confused.
“If you have caller ID, why did you ask if it was me calling?” he says.
This makes me laugh.
“Sorry,” I say.
I sound far too vulnerable; I don't like it.
“I have something to tell you, over lunch if you like? You can be dessert?” he says, and I can just imagine the look on his face.
“Tempting, but, Connor and I have agreed to have lunch since he used me as an excuse for where he disappeared to last night. He also
saved us,” I add at the end.
Just in case Noah is the jealous type.
I suspect he’s not.
“Us,” I can tell by the sound of Noah’s voice he’s now got a smirk on that handsome face of his.
“I like the sound of us,”
“Me too,” I agree.
“I'll call later, then, darling,” Noah’s voice is low.
Sexy.
So sexy.
Maybe I can ditch Connor for Noah?
Make up an excuse?
“Goodbye, Noah,” I sigh.
“Goodbye, love,” comes his reply.
My heart is soaring.
When Connor picks me up, he looks guilty.
Everything from his posture to his expression.
In the afternoon light he looks worse, with that weak jaw and a head that is too large.
Maybe it’s just me?
His wide blue eyes are a dark shade, his lips are narrow, though his nose as a nice enough shape.
He isn't entirely bad to look at.
He’s just not Noah.
To me, Noah Stone is still the sexiest man alive.
“Straighten up,” I bark at him, grabbing a jacket as my father appears.
“Off to lunch then?” he asks.
My father actually stops to make conversation!
“Yes, sir,” Connor gives my father a winning business smile.
“Don't keep her out too late,” Father orders.
I can't believe what happens next.
My father actually winks at Connor!
I shove Connor out the door, banging the button for the elevator.
“What?” Connor throws his hands up.
“Does everything I do make you hate me?” he says, exasperated.
“Yes,” I tell him spitefully.
“Fine,” Connor shrugs.
“Your dad likes me though; I suspect that counts for more,” he says, insinuating something I don’t care about.
“Whatever,” I say, using the ultimate passive-aggressive phrase in my arsenal.
Things don't seem to get any better, during a long silent car ride.
The restaurant Connor has picked isn’t to my taste either.
It's meant to be romantic, but there's nothing innocent about the cozy little booth for two or the candle.
Connor selects a bottle of wine that is far too extravagant for lunch, and a vintage and winery I detest.
“That wine is terrible,” I tell him, once the waiter disappears.
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