Only now that she had walked a little did she really realise the impudence of his statement. How dare the king talk to her like that?
Snorting with rage, she tried to find her way back to her room, got lost twice on the way, and finally closed the door behind her with some relief. This castle was a labyrinth! When her servant appeared, Lilli took her frustration out on the poor woman, who stormed off and returned shortly afterwards with a bowl of soup and bread.
In an extremely bad mood, Lilli spooned her soup, which was a little too salty, and left half of the bread crust. Very briefly she considered simply leaving again tomorrow but dismissed the idea at the thought of having to spend the next few days in the saddle again. Basically, everything was going according to plan. She had come here; the king had turned out to be an obnoxious person who had no interest in her. She really couldn’t help that, and if she returned at some point and told her father about it, he would have to leave her alone. She had tried then, had shown her goodwill, and proved to him that she was simply not suitable as a bride.
Later, when she was already lying in the strange bed and the wind was actually whistling a little through the cracks, Lilli snuck deeper under the covers. She didn’t even have her colours anymore. She could have passed the time by painting. On the other hand, ... there was no worthwhile motive here. Her father would have to replace the paints. That was the least she could do after all the trouble.
With this thought, Lilli fell asleep.
3
When she woke up, the sun was already high in the sky. How had she been able to sleep so long? Lilli lifted her head and then immediately lowered it back into the pillow. She didn’t feel like getting up and facing this miserable day, but after a while she did manage to crawl out of the sheets and staggered into the bathroom. It was strange without Margarita, who usually woke her up, brought her warm milk and provided bath water. Afterwards, she usually did Lilli’s hair quietly in front of the mirror and chatted with her. And there weren’t even any mirrors here. Not in her room and not in the bathroom either. Luckily, Lilli had brought her mother’s silver hand mirror with her, which she used to transform herself into a presentable state. While she was still struggling with her hair – she really missed Margarita now – Sophia came in and silently served a small breakfast.
Lilli ignored the servant and when she was gone, she sat down and looked at the strange porridge in the bowl in front of her. She tried it, it tasted better than expected. A little sweet and like milk. Lilli finished the bowl and drank water with it. For tomorrow she would order pancakes and milk.
After the meagre breakfast, she brushed her teeth again, fixed her hairstyle and then left her room. She intended to look for the men from her entourage who had brought her here. Lilli considered handing them a note to her father. Something that would tell him that she was doing wonderfully. Then, when she returned in a few weeks, she could blame it entirely on Amon of Grauemfall. Light-footed, she ran down the stone stairs and immediately found the exit to the courtyard where they had arrived. She looked around but saw no familiar faces. The people going about their work here, just like yesterday, belonged to the castle. None of them wore the coat of arms of Aurenbrunn. Lilli walked slowly across the pavement and kept looking for the captain or someone from the guard.
She stepped through a small gate and found herself in a backyard that measured about sixty paces in length and width. A few barrels stood in the corner, men with sword belts sat on two of them in a casual posture, watching two others in the middle slashing at each other with swords. Lilli realised they were wearing training clothes. Heavy robes made of many layers of cross-stitched linen, plus protective leather bandages on their arms and shoulders. Both moved powerfully and quickly, not sparing each other, so that the fight was very close to a real one. She heard them gasp with exertion and stopped involuntarily, having to watch this dance of swords. What strength must it take to deliver and absorb those blows, to dodge so quickly and not let up for a breath? It had always fascinated her, but her father forbade her to even pick up a sword. She was a girl and that rendered the discussion obsolete for him. Full of envy, Lilli had watched her brother receive his first sword of his own. Forged especially for him, perfectly balanced, an extended arm. At least he had put it in her hand once when they were unobserved.
The two combatants paused and the man facing Lilli made a gesture of respect to the other.
The latter turned around, the sword still in his hand. Lilli stared at him. She could not help it. She had never seen such a face, anywhere.
The King of Grauemfall wordlessly handed his weapon to a footman who had come up beside him and accepted it. Still Lilli’s gaze rested on the king’s face.
At that moment she could not have found words to describe Amon of Grauemfall, but one thing she knew for sure: the rumours about his ugliness were really just that: rumours. True, he bore scars on his cheeks and forehead, but they seemed to have faded and could not disfigure his handsome features. His black hair reached just past his chin and his light grey eyes had taken her in. Immediately Lilli felt a little uncomfortable, mindful of yesterday’s confrontation in which he had seen so much of her with a brief glance. The king slipped off his gloves and Lilli wondered why he was considered hideously disfigured when his facial injuries were so minor. Did no one know about it? Did he never leave his castle? It had to be that way, otherwise the princesses would have queued up. She was a little ashamed of herself for these thoughts. She had never liked a man before. No one could arouse her interest and now here she stood, her cheeks glowing. Annoying, just annoying!
“What are you doing out here, Your Highness?” The king had taken a few steps closer and was now getting out of his protective jacket. Underneath he wore a loose linen shirt. He was a head taller than her, and she had to lift her chin slightly to look at him.
“I’m looking for the men in my entourage,” she said, her voice fortunately sounding normal.
“They left in the morning,” the king said, handing his jacket to a servant.
“Oh.” Lilli managed not to look crestfallen. “Very well. It was nothing important, either.”
“Go inside, Lilliana. The weather is too crisp for you.”
For a moment Lilli was puzzled that he knew her name, then she quickly replied, “For you, too. Your chemise shouldn’t keep you any warmer than my dress.”
“Possibly. But you are cold. You can see it in the skin on your arm. Go inside.” With these words, Amon of Grauemfall turned away and left her there. She saw his upright figure cross the courtyard and then he was gone. Surely there was a door there, but it seemed as if he had dissolved into the mist that had moved into the courtyard. Lilli decided to go in after all. Not because she wanted to obey the king, but she was really cold, and Amon had seen it. She was a little annoyed with him for that. All in all, her state probably deserved to be called confused. Yes, she would have to think about some things.
Shortly afterwards, she found herself back in her room. Someone had neatly lined up her books on the shelf. The easel stood in a corner, without colours of course. The brushes next to it looked like children with wild hairstyles who had been abandoned. Was there any paint around here? Maybe she could ask someone about it. Until she went home again, she could withdraw and paint. That wouldn’t be so bad.
“Greetings, Lilliana.”
Lilli wheeled around when she heard the woman’s voice, soft yet good-humoured. And the appearance did indeed match. Standing before her was a rather small woman, older than Lilli, perhaps in her late twenties, with a round face and small eyes. Her black hair had been simply braided and pinned together at the back of her head. Her dress seemed to be made of satin and velvet, with unusual patterns and different shades of blue. She wore a matching necklace with blue gemstones.
“I too greet you.” Lilli bowed her head politely and then waited for the stranger to explain herself.
“I am Constance of Grauemfall. Amon’s sister.” The woman beam
ed at her as if Lilli had been waiting for this information all morning. Again, Lilli smiled back politely, though she would have preferred to be alone right now.
“Nice to meet you.” Lilli waited. Maybe Constance would disappear on her own. But she didn’t. With a few steps, the young woman approached the bookshelf but did not touch the covers, which immediately steered Lilli’s opinion of her in a positive direction.
“You have taste,” she judged, turning around briskly. “Your room doesn’t match it, though. Amon has no taste for such things. If you wish, I can have it furnished differently. More carpets and furniture too, if you like. After all, you should feel comfortable here for a long time.”
The contradiction in Lilli had already been building up when she changed her mind. To maintain her cover, it seemed better to her to accept the offer.
“That would be kind of you. It is indeed a little sparser than I am used to.”
“I believe that perfectly.” Constance took a few steps closer. “I hear Aurenbrunn is beautiful. In comparison, Grauemfall must seem like a forgotten fortress to you.”
“It takes some getting used to,” Lilli replied.
“I’m sure it will get better soon.” Constance smiled. “May I invite you to lunch? You probably won’t want to eat alone.”
“I’d love to.” Lilli couldn’t resist the thought of what she hoped would be a delicious midday meal.
Constance responded almost exuberantly and led her, chatting, through the extensive corridors to a rather cosily furnished room where there was a medium-sized table of dark, polished wood. There would be room for up to ten people and Lilli suspected that this small room was used for such gatherings, which had a rather unofficial character.
They sat down and Constance ordered the food to be served. Lilli caught herself looking at the door. I wonder if Amon would keep them company. Wasn’t he eating with his sister? She considered asking Constance about it but decided against it. Too conspicuous.
The meal consisted of well-roasted meat and tasty turnip puree, which lifted Lilli’s spirits. Small cakes were served with it and water sweetened with honey. Constance continued to talk in her cheerful chatty tone, soon switching to a more familiar form of address, asking Lilli about this and that with bright eyes.
“And what gave you the idea of wanting to marry my brother?” she suddenly asked in the middle of the conversation. Lilli almost choked but managed to pull herself together.
“Well ... I ...” She dabbed her mouth awkwardly with her napkin. “To be honest, I didn’t care. My father wishes me to choose someone, and I thought it would be nice to live in the mountains.”
Constance looked at her incredulously and then laughed out loud. Astonished, Lilli watched this outburst of amusement, and just as she felt the first signs of anger, Constance gasped and used her napkin to dry her tears of laughter.
“Forgive me,” she said, “but that’s a delightful argument. You spend your life with someone just because they live in the mountains?”
“Why not?” Lilly answered with feigned composure, briefly considering telling Constance the truth, she seemed quite nice. But then she let it go. In case her future non-sister-in-law couldn’t keep her mouth shut and her father found out everything ... it would start all over again. She had to finish this thing now and then be at peace with all this for good.
“My brother didn’t consider getting married either. In fact, he didn’t want to. That’s why I’m asking. It’s quite a surprise for all of us.” Constance had changed to a more serious tone.
“Possibly I’m just the right person for your brother,” Lilli countered. “A woman who doesn’t care who she marries, for a king who isn’t looking for a bride at all.”
“What’s the point?”
“We would both have our peace from each other’s urging. And each can lead their lives as they like.” As she said that, Lilli realised how much truth there was in those words. Indeed, this was not the stupidest thought, to marry someone who himself only wanted his peace. And what if, in the end, that was actually the answer? What if her father wouldn’t leave her alone at all? To marry a man like Amon and then live carefree, could she do that?
Lilli congratulated herself on not saying anything and resolved to play out this possibility over the next few days and let the thought sink in.
“My dear, you shouldn’t wish that on yourself. You are still young. Think it over. Love can come over you all of a sudden. And then? You are bound forever, there would be no turning back when you are the bride of a king. And there are so many choices open to you. And I don’t want my brother to marry out of embarrassment either, because that’s what you can expect at his age. I want him to be happy, which is already difficult for him. He doesn’t live facing life, he’s solitary, plus he has these terrible scars.” Constance leaned back in her chair. Lilli remained silent. She almost disagreed about the scars. She thought they were hardly visible, that they didn’t affect Amon’s appearance so much that he couldn’t find a bride because of them. But for some reason she kept silent.
A moment later Constance had the table cleared, they both rose and left the room while the servants tidied up. In the corridor they stopped for a moment. Constance put a hand on Lilli’s arm.
“My dear child, please think about this carefully. No one will hold it against you if you choose freedom and return home. This union ... I almost fear Amon has negotiated something with your father.”
“What would he be negotiating?” Lilly wondered with painstaking control. She hated things like that, when her father made arrangements behind her back which he then concealed. She had to find out what it was so that she could spoil his plans. If there was anything at all.
“I don’t know, child. Anyway, it’s unusual that my brother agreed to marry you, just like that, without ever having seen you. I know him. I don’t understand it. So, there can only be something else behind it.”
“What are you doing? Who is that?”
Lilli and Constance turned around at the same time. There, a few steps down the corridor, stood an old woman. She wore a simple dark blue dress, her hair hanging over her shoulders in a long grey braid.
“That’s Lilliana of Aurenbrunn, Auntie Jahne,” Constance said.
“What is she doing here?”
The old woman’s voice sounded like that of a raven bird that had been caught and then teased. Lilli wished she would disappear.
“She might not stay long, Auntie. You’d better go to the kitchen and get some of that food while it’s still hot.” The tone of Constance’s voice allowed no objection. The old woman stopped for a moment, then turned away without a word and shuffled away.
“Who is that?” asked Lilli.
“Auntie Jahne. That’s what we call her, although she’s not related to us at all. Suddenly she was with us, sitting outside with the servants in the hut. She couldn’t do much work with her old hands. Amon gave her a room in the castle. We don’t know what to do with her, we just put up with her. But you don’t have to worry about that. The important thing is to leave her alone, don’t talk to her. She’s completely confused. It’s the age.”
Lilli nodded, but only out of politeness. What a strange community she had gotten herself into here!
After the meal with Constance, she had first gone into her room and then out again and wandered through the corridors. She wondered where the king’s study had been and after a few failed attempts she thought she had found the way again. In fact, soon she was standing in front of his door, struggling with herself as to whether she should knock. Finally, she dared, and the hollow sound died away in the deserted corridor behind her.
“Come in,” it came from inside. Amon’s voice. Again, he sounded completely calm, as if he didn’t care who was seeking entrance. Lilli opened the door and entered. She hesitated for a moment, then pushed the heavy oak door shut again.
“What do you want, Lilliana?” the king asked without looking up. He sat there as he had the day be
fore, bent over his papers. In front of him was a silver goblet and beside it a carafe of wine.
“I wish to know what you have negotiated with my father. Concerning myself.” She folded her arms behind her back and moved closer, looking about the room more carefully. The king did not seem to have missed the scrutiny, for he looked up and paused in his writing. Perhaps, however, her question had alarmed him, for the gaze of his grey eyes now rested probingly on her.
“Explain yourself more precisely,” he said, putting the quill aside and propping his elbows on the table. Lilli stopped in front of his desk.
“I demand to know what you have arranged with my father. What did he say to you? What do you know?”
There was an awkward pause, during which Lilli managed to withstand the king’s gaze.
“I know you don’t want to marry me at all,” Amon said, his gaze remaining unfathomable at that.
“Is that what my father said?” Lilli felt a tingle in her hands.
“There was no need, I know it anyway. You have never seen me, but surely know that I am disfigured. To that end, your father was very upset.”
“He was here himself?” interrupted Lilli.
“Yes. He came in person and asked if I would agree to let you stay here for a while.”
“For a while?” Her voice sounded too bright, too agitated. If she wanted to spite her father, she had to stay calm.
Amon crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back.
“Lilliana, you have a quarrel with your father, and it is clear that you are trying to incite a rebellion by leaving your parents’ castle, which is what you are using me for.”
Lilli stared at him. This spot-on analysis robbed her of her speech a little, so that she swallowed three times before she found the words again. And she had no intention of apologising now. Certainly not.
“How do you know I don’t really want to marry you?” she asked, and it did sound a touch defiant, unfortunately.
The Scar-Faced King Page 4