“Esher?” she murmured, and he shot Ares a look.
Ares took hold of Megan and disappeared, leaving him alone with Aiko.
“I’m here,” he whispered, smoothing her black hair again, doing it to soothe himself as much as he did it to soothe her.
“I had a bad dream.” She winced when she tried to move, and he held her still, afraid she still bore injuries even when Megan hadn’t warned him that she did and he knew she would have if it had been the case.
“It’s over now.” He stroked her cheek, moved her so she lay with her head on the pillows and stretched out beside her, pressing the full length of his body against hers.
She groaned as she ignored his attempts to keep her on her back and rolled onto her side, pressing closer to him, and when her eyes fluttered open, their warmth hitting him hard, he didn’t have the heart to make her lay on her back again.
He wrapped his arm around her, and she used it as her pillow, resting her soft cheek against it, her hair tickling his skin.
Understanding shone in her eyes as she gazed at him. “You saved me.”
He only wished he had done it sooner, hadn’t failed and put her through so much pain.
He smiled for her, not wanting her to see how much that hurt him, leaned towards her and pressed a kiss to her lips.
“I love you too,” he murmured against them, unable to hold the words back any longer, needing her to know them and the feelings he held in his heart.
She broke down, each sob racking her body, more violent than the last, and he gathered her to him, letting her pour out her pain and feeling like a bastard as he realised he had reminded her of what had happened, had brought it all back to her. He pressed his lips to her forehead and kept them there, held her gently and weathered the pain each of her sobs caused as it tore at him, every one of them his fault.
Around them, blue poppies bloomed, until a sea of them filled his room and spread across the walkway, and through the garden. He floated on that sea with Aiko, holding her as her sobs finally began to subside, her shaking stopping. She let out one final cry and then swallowed hard, wriggled against him as she wiped away her tears, and lifted her bloodshot eyes to meet his.
He wiped the remains of her tears away, careful as he brushed his thumb across her cheeks.
“Do you hate me?” He wasn’t sure he could bear it if she did, but he needed to know.
She knew what he had done, remembered it all, he could see it in her eyes.
She put him out of his misery.
Shaking her head.
Speaking words that washed his pain away.
“I love you.”
He gathered her to him and kissed her forehead. “I won’t fail you again.”
It was his solemn vow.
He had a second chance with her and this time he wouldn’t mess things up, he would keep her safe, just as he had promised.
He would protect her.
Always.
CHAPTER 23
It had been three days since Esher had brought her back, and gods, the anger hadn’t gone anywhere. It simmered in his veins, leashed but still there, not satisfied by her return. He wouldn’t be satisfied until the daemon who had killed her met the same fate, suffered at his hands and was torn apart by his power.
Relief that Aiko was back with him came and went, and sometimes he couldn’t breathe until he saw her again, found and saw with his own eyes that she was safe.
Alive.
It had been easier until yesterday, because he had only needed to head the handful of strides to his room and check on her where she rested in his bed.
But yesterday, she had decided she was strong enough to leave his room, had asked him to walk with her, and had finally smiled for the first time since she had come back when he had practically smothered her, walking so close to her that they constantly brushed each other. He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t bring himself to be more than an inch from her, needed to feel her and be aware that she was alive, safe, well.
Well.
He wasn’t sure he could apply that word to her yet.
She was low in spirit, her smiles rare now, and her eyes holding pain sometimes before she noticed him and it drifted away. Her thoughts weighed her down, had her silent during mealtimes when he came to sit with her in his room, keeping her company.
The first day she had been back, she hadn’t said more than a handful of words to him, hadn’t smiled once, and he had started to fear she would never be the same again, would continue to grow distant from him until she receded so deeply into herself that she was lost to him.
When he had been called for punishment for speaking the language of the Underworld on Earth, and had gone to tell her where he was going, not wanting her to worry about his absence because Daimon had come to protect her in his stead, she had come alive.
She had shot to her feet and pleaded with him not to go, had come close to convincing him to do as she wished as she had shown him the depth of the love that she still held for him in her heart.
She hadn’t been afraid because he wouldn’t be around to protect her.
She had been afraid he would be vulnerable by leaving the mansion grounds, would come under attack.
He had vowed that he would be safe because he was stepping from the mansion straight to Olympus, but it had still taken time to calm her enough that he could bring himself to leave her.
Nemesis had demanded one hundred extra lashes for his tardiness.
Esher hadn’t felt them, or the other one thousand. He had thought about Aiko constantly, desperate to return to her, worried about her.
When he had returned, he had managed to convince himself to wash first rather than head straight to her, had borne the pain of wearing a t-shirt over the fresh wounds, for her. He didn’t want her to see them. She was suffering enough without witnessing what Nemesis had done to him as punishment for speaking his native tongue in order to go to the Underworld to bring back her soul.
She would blame his pain on herself, and she already had too much pain in her heart to bear.
He wanted to take some of that pain unto himself for her, tried to steal slivers of it whenever she was feeling bright enough to spend time with him.
He stared at the empty bed in his room, the white covers rumpled and pushed aside. Where had she gone?
He followed the stepping stones across the gravel, strode over the arched crimson wooden bridge that spanned the pond, and wove through the garden, following his heart.
It whispered where she was.
He rounded a bend between two stone lanterns and found her sitting on the large grey boulder, her bare feet dangling above the grass, her eyes locked on the cherry tree and her profile to him. His robe swamped her, the black cloth wrapped tightly around her tiny form, reaching her ankles.
Below her feet, blue poppies bloomed.
He looked at the tree, frowned as the blossoms that had been faded were bright with life again, almost glowing with it as they danced in the gentle warm breeze.
His mother.
She was watching over Aiko for him, trying to soothe her troubled soul with something Aiko found beautiful, giving her something bright in this world to draw her away from the darkness of her death.
Aiko looked across at him, and relief hit him hard when he saw her brown eyes were brighter today, and there was finally colour in her pale cheeks again, a dash of pink that darkened as he stared at her.
“I thought the tree was done blooming.” She glanced back at it and her lips curled in a faint smile.
“It probably was.” He looked at it, and then crossed the patch of grass to her, and she frowned at his bare feet.
He didn’t need to look to see what was happening.
The way her eyes widened told him.
She lifted them to his, searching them for an explanation.
He stooped, plucked one of the poppies that were blooming around him, and tucked her black hair behind her ear, fixing the poppy
there. It was her colour too.
“Mother,” he said.
Aiko shimmied to her left. He took a seat in the space she offered, and the moment she pressed against him, he couldn’t stop himself from lifting her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her, keeping her angled in a way that allowed her to see the flowers and the cherry blossoms. Her black robe blended into his jeans and shirt.
“She’s a goddess of nature… Persephone.” He tucked Aiko a little closer to him and wanted to groan as she snuggled into his arms, the pleasure of feeling her in them a soothing balm to his battered heart.
“It makes sense.” Aiko leaned back, settling her head on his shoulder, her temple pressing against his neck. “You and your brothers all control elements of nature.”
That was true.
Persephone had power over more than just nature though, balanced Hades in his power over death.
Aiko was proof of that.
He had only realised it yesterday, when he had found her in the garden, in this spot, and had berated her for being out of bed so soon. She had countered that she felt strong enough to leave her bed.
She had looked tired though, worn down, pale, and he hadn’t been convinced.
When he had tried to make her return to her room, seizing her hand, she had stood firm.
Unmoving.
He had looked at her then, really looked at her, and had seen the poppies blooming around her feet, and the glow that lit her eyes as she told him flat that she wanted to walk the garden.
She was stronger than before.
It wasn’t only her soul’s journey to the Underworld and back again that had affected her.
He had the feeling that while her soul had been there, his mother had found it.
Aware of his pain and his love for the mortal, and that he would come for her soul, but he would always worry something would happen to her again, because she was weak and vulnerable, Persephone had done what she could to ease his fears.
She had blessed Aiko’s soul.
His mother had made her strong.
Strong enough to walk in his world, as immortal as he was.
It had soothed the worst of his fears, but had done nothing to crush the other ones, ones that weren’t so easily vanquished and would always be a part of him, because he loved her. He would always worry about her, afraid of putting her in danger. Just as he always worried about his brothers.
“What are you thinking?” she murmured on a contented sigh and stroked her fingers along his arm, back and forth, calming him.
She was reading him again, picking up his turbulent emotions.
He pressed his cheek against her forehead. “I’m just worried about you.”
She tilted her head towards him and back, pressed her lips to his chin. He turned and kissed her, smoothed his palm across her cheek and held her in place as he savoured her lips, her kiss made all the sweeter by the way it relaxed her, seemed to chase away her sombre thoughts too.
She stilled against his lips. “Your brothers are coming.”
They were?
He frowned as he felt the first one appear, closely followed by another.
He had thought they had more time before the meeting.
Aiko slipped from his lap, and he caught her wrist. She looked down at it, and then up into his eyes.
“You don’t have to be there.” He held her hand.
It trembled slightly in his, betraying her nerves, but she nodded. “I’m ready. I want to be a part of the meeting.”
She wasn’t ready. She was pushing herself, for his sake, for the sake of his brothers, and their worlds. When he had told her Marek had called a meeting, she had asked to attend, had insisted when he had tried to deny her, telling her to wait in his room or in the garden.
“I have information.” She twisted her hand in his, slipping her fingers over his palm and taking hold of his hand instead, and tugged on it. “I think I should be dressed though.”
That had him moving, because he was damned if his brothers were going to see her in just his robe.
She didn’t protest when he scooped her up into his arms and carried her like a princess through the garden. She looped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I’ll cook curry rice later,” he said to fill the pleasant silence. “We can eat at the table today.”
“I’d like that.” She wriggled closer, her sigh telling him just how much she liked the idea. “I’d like a bath too.”
He stopped dead, heart slamming against his chest at the thought of bathing her. He crushed it a second later. She was strong enough to bathe herself.
“You can have a shower.” He looked down at her, and she frowned at him.
“I want to float on the water.” She almost pouted when he went to shake his head, and he sighed again, an exasperated one this time.
“The water is too hot. What if you faint?”
She hit him with another smile. Two so close together. He wasn’t sure he could take it, his heart doing a flip at the sight of it and the thought she might be getting better after all, might pull through and expel the darkness that lingered in her soul, filling it with light again.
“You’ll be there to save me.” She meant the words lightly, teasingly, and damn temptingly, but they hit him hard.
Left him cold.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked and held her closer, crushed her against him and clung to her, his fingers pressing into her ribs and her knee. His stomach churned, acid boiling in it as he saw her falling, failed to catch her in time and watched her die.
She pressed her cheek to his, and he wasn’t sure if it was her tears or his that wetted his skin.
“Help me forget,” she whispered, a desperate note to her voice. “I want to make new memories… happier memories. I want to fill my head with them so I can forget the bad ones.”
Gods, he could do that for her.
They would make a million memories, ones so bright they filled her heart with light again, drove out the darkness and brought her nothing but happiness and a reason to smile, to laugh.
He nodded stiffly. “I could do with some of that myself.”
Because every time he closed his eyes, whenever fatigue crept up on him and he fell asleep, he saw her falling.
Saw himself failing her.
Watched her die.
He felt Valen nearby, braced himself for a smart-ass comment, but when he looked at his brother, Valen averted his blue eyes and turned away, giving him some time alone with Aiko.
Didn’t even mention the fact Esher was crying like a fucking baby.
He buried his face in Aiko’s neck and held her, just stood there in the middle of the bridge and held her, not giving a shit if his brothers all saw him, or that he was making them wait. Aiko said she was ready to speak with them, but he wasn’t. Keras was going to tear him a new one. Everyone was going to kick up a fuss. Or they were going to tread on egg shells around him, as if he would flip his switch if they said a word out of place.
He wasn’t sure he could bear it.
He just wanted to be alone with Aiko.
She brushed her fingers through his hair, teasing the short back of it, and then the sides, and then the curve of his ear, and pressed kisses to his throat and cheek that pushed away the pain, had him focusing on her and the present, and that she was in his arms.
Warm. Safe. Alive.
Immortal.
He kissed her again and groaned as she met it with a passionate one, her lips fierce against his, filled with desperation that called at him, made him want to drown in her until they were both smiling again, light filling their souls and their pain forgotten.
“Your brothers are waiting,” she murmured against his lips, her heart telling him that she didn’t care, that she didn’t want to end this moment yet.
“Let them wait.” He kissed her again, held her closer and gave her what she needed—a reminder that she was alive, they both were, and nothing was g
oing to change that.
Nothing was going to separate them again.
When she was breathless and panting, he eased back, slowing the kiss and bringing her back down.
She broke away from his lips, nuzzled his nose with her own, and whispered, “Thank you.”
He didn’t deserve that, so he didn’t respond to it.
Instead, he pressed his forehead to hers, and growled, “Gods, I fucking love you.”
She giggled.
Sweet ambrosia, it rushed through him like fire, lit him up and chased out the lingering cold.
“I love you too.” She pressed her lips to his, but her kiss was brief, sweet, too damned chaste now she had him fired up. “So can I have that bath later?”
Who was he to deny her?
If she wanted to float on water, she would float on water. Whatever she wanted, she got.
He nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on you.”
But that was all he would do. As much as he wanted to give in to his need of her, ached to kiss her and touch her, and make love with her, he would hold back and just bathe with her. She wasn’t ready for anything else yet. He felt sure of it, and he didn’t want to push her.
He carried her into his room, set her down and closed the door panels, shutting the world out. She tortured him as she shed his robe, revealing her bare curves, and he averted his eyes, not sure he could bear it. He knew she wanted his eyes on her, that it made her feel alive, just as his kiss had, but he had a damned meeting to attend, and he was in danger of forgetting all about it.
If he looked at her while she dressed in the clothes Megan had brought for her, a faded pair of blue jeans she had to roll up at the ankles, a dark pink camisole that hugged her breasts, and a deep blue sweater, he might be tempted to strip them all back off her and make a better memory with her, one he hoped might put a smile on her face.
“Ready.” She slipped her hand into his.
She wasn’t.
He could feel her shaking, could sense her nerves.
He squeezed her hand and gazed down into her eyes. “If it gets too much, if you want a break, just say. Promise me you’ll say.”
Esher (Guardians of Hades Romance Series Book 3) Page 25