“What?”
“Char wants to go back on tour with them. She wanted to know what we think.”
Jane smiled. “Oh Lizzy! That’s great news. Yes, I want to go back on tour.” She slowed down a bit. “Charles and I are very worried about this all. It’s one thing for us to be back together as a couple, but it’s not good if the two bands are still having trouble.”
Once again, Elizabeth found herself in the uncomfortable situation of being the one without a relationship. “I think for now we should plan on going back.”
“Are you going to be okay, Lizzy?” Jane asked, her concern apparent.
“I’m not sure, but I’m going to try. That’s all I can do.”
“It’ll work out for you. I know it will.”
Elizabeth smiled wanly. “Now, you are going to be back in time for Tuesday, right?”
“Yes, we’re coming back Sunday night. Are you going to be okay working with George again?”
Elizabeth sighed. Again, she wasn’t sure. Knowing what she knew now, the last thing she wanted to do was make that second video with him, but she couldn’t suddenly refuse to do it. Not without revealing Georgiana’s secret, something she could never do. And if she did back out, she would be liable for all that money. There was nothing to do but grit her teeth and make the video with him, hopefully as quickly as possible.
“I’ll be okay, Jane,” she told her sister.
“Oh, Charles is back. I got to go. Take care, Lizzy. Say hi to Mary for me.”
Elizabeth said good-bye and hung up the phone. She sat down with a sigh on her bed. It had been six days since she sent the email, and still she had no response. After biting her lip and thinking for a long moment, she found herself looking a number up and dialing.
“Hello,” a crisp male voice answered.
“Oh, um, Faust, hi, it’s Lizzy Bennet.” Elizabeth found herself blushing furiously.
“Hello, Lizzy, how are you? Are you enjoying your holiday?” Faust seemed perfectly relaxed, and his ease helped Elizabeth.
“I am, thank you. And you?”
“Very nice, thanks. Caro is,” he paused, as if he was looking around himself, “um, not available right now. Can I take a message?”
Elizabeth heard Caroline’s voice calling out from a distance, “Who is it?”
“Hang on,” Faust told her. A half minute later, he returned to the phone. “Lizzy? Caro said that she did forward your email to Darcy. Is that what you called about?”
Elizabeth smiled. “Yes, it is. Thanks.”
“Oh good. Glad to be of service, Lizzy. See you soon.”
Elizabeth sighed. She had her answer now, but she wasn’t at all sure if she liked it. Darcy had her song, but he hadn’t replied to it. That meant either he had rejected it and her or… or what? She tried to come up with a reason, other than he wanted nothing to do with her, and failed utterly.
But despite the fairly damning evidence, Elizabeth still couldn’t give up hope. Maybe it was the way he had looked at her when he sang “Feel Me,” or maybe it was Caro’s advice to not give up. Or maybe it was just plain stubbornness. But Elizabeth was not ready to quit yet. She had been too blind in this relationship before, and she had made too many wrong assumptions. She wasn’t going to do that again. She was going to go back on tour, and she was going to tell him what she felt. At least she could do that much.
It was with a heavy heart she tucked herself into bed. She might tell Darcy she loved him, and he might laugh in her face. After what happened in the loft and at the rehearsal, it wouldn’t be impossible.
She wished she could just see him. Every day of waiting just became longer and longer. She closed her eyes and again imagined herself back in his arms. It might be nothing more than a fantasy at this point, but it was the most comforting one she had.
***
Elizabeth enjoyed the two-hour drive to Tanglewood. She loved looking out the window at the beautiful scenery. The Berkshire Mountains rose up tall and green on either side of the highway. The summer sunlight was fading, but Elizabeth was still struck by the natural wonder of the place.
She exited the Mass Pike at Lee and quickly made her way to the hotel. Elizabeth had hoped to stay someplace nicer, but at this late date, the Day’s Inn was the only place with rooms available.
It didn’t matter; it was close to Tanglewood and it was clean, Elizabeth told herself. She couldn’t help but smile as she realized that the hotels they generally stayed in while on tour were nicer than this. From the tour, her mind made the short hop to Darcy, a subject her mind spent so much of its time on lately.
Elizabeth allowed herself a quick fantasy that she was actually checking in with Darcy, rather than by herself. She knew it was foolish. Darcy would never stay in such a humble establishment. But it amused her briefly and made her feel less uncomfortable about being alone.
***
Tanglewood was the summer home of the Boston Symphony Orchestra. Nestled in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusetts, the large campus hosted performances daily in the two concert halls, and provided educational experiences for young musicians.
As Fitzwilliam Darcy walked along the path with his sister on the warm July morning, he found himself imagining a third member of their party. She was there again, his Shadow Elizabeth, who went with him everywhere and with whom he shared his favorite moments. Darcy could see in his mind’s eye her smile as she took in the beautiful campus. He knew it was a hopeless fantasy, but he found comfort in it, imagining what she might say and listening to her laugh.
He paused in his steps. For a second he could have sworn he had actually heard her laugh. He worried that he was spending too much time in his fantasy when he heard her voice.
“Darcy?” she called. “Will?”
Darcy spun around and found himself looking at the surprised face of his love.
“Elizabeth?”
He took three steps closer to her without knowing he did so. She was there. She was real. She was wearing a summer dress in a soft melon color and her hair was arranged in a graceful cascade.
A similar look of shocked surprise had graced Elizabeth’s face. She moved closer to him, and it was only when she stopped that Darcy was able to control himself and stop himself from embracing her. His awareness of where he was returned with a flash, and with it came the memories of their last parting.
Darcy smiled nervously. “What are you doing here?”
Elizabeth smiled with equal trepidation. “Mary,” she indicated her sister, “is here for the summer on a conducting fellowship.”
Darcy’s eyes flicked to the younger woman. “Mary, it’s nice to see you again,” he said warmly.
“It’s nice to see you, Darcy,” she said easily.
“Um, call me Will, please,” he replied awkwardly as he took a quick look at Elizabeth and then shook Mary’s hand.
Mary nodded politely in response, not quite able to keep an amused smile off her face.
“Elizabeth?” Darcy said, turning back to her. “This is my sister, Georgiana.” He indicated the girl who was waiting quietly for her turn. Georgiana was a little taller than Elizabeth, with Darcy’s dark coloring and features. But where those features were extremely attractive on Darcy, they were merely pleasant on Georgiana.
Elizabeth shook the girl’s hand and smiled warmly. Georgiana looked extremely nervous and ducked her head as she was introduced to the party.
When the introductions were finished, Elizabeth found herself facing Darcy again. She looked into his dark eyes and paused, and then touching her tongue to her upper lip, she found her voice again. “So, what are you doing here?” she asked warmly.
“We have a long connection with Tanglewood from when my mother played as a guest artist. My summer home is nearby and we try to get here at least once every summer.”
Darcy stared at her, smiling for a long moment. Then he caught himself. “We were just about to go to lunch. Would you like to join us?”
Elizabeth looked at her sister and then to Darcy. “Certainly,” she smiled.
Darcy beamed as he directed the party along the path, falling into step with Elizabeth. He was no further than asking how Elizabeth’s parents were when Mary asked in a loud voice, “Where are we going?”
Darcy pointed in the direction of what looked like a large older house. “The Manor House,” he replied. “We’re expected at a luncheon there.”
Elizabeth’s face grew troubled. “Wait a minute. What kind of luncheon is this?”
Darcy stopped. “It’s a reception for supporters of the festival. We have an endowment, um,” he drifted off uneasily.
Elizabeth smiled embarrassedly. “We can’t go to that. It sounds very formal and we’re not invited,” she stammered.
“Lizzy,” he said softly. “It’s not a problem. They’re expecting me to bring guests. I was actually a little nervous before because it was just Georgie and me.” He smiled appealingly. “Please come.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” she asked.
Darcy shook his head, looking as stunned as she by the situation they found themselves in. “Not at all. Please, I would like to have you there,” he said carefully.
She smiled and nodded. As they continued to walk, Darcy asked her about her health and that of her family and of the band. The warmth in her face astonished him. All his plans for what he was going to say to her when they saw each other again had completely fled from his mind. He was running on instinct now, but at least he had the comfort of knowing she was just as surprised. If nothing else, that put them on equal ground.
***
Elizabeth found it hard to believe he was here. And even more amazing was that he was talking to her. He was making it clear that he wanted to be with her, something she was hardly expecting. She ached to ask what was going on and why he hadn’t replied to her song, but at the same time, she knew this wasn’t the place, and more importantly, she just wanted to be with him, without fighting, and see what happened.
As Elizabeth answered his questions, she studied him out of the corner of her eye. He looked good. He was wearing a white polo and stone-colored twill pants. He still had his goatee, and his hair had been brushed back.
“So you have an endowment?” Elizabeth asked when he had run out of family and friends to ask about.
He looked at her and nodded. “My mother used to play here pretty regularly when I was growing up. I even played a duet with her once,” he grinned. “When she died, my father set up an endowment in her name.” He looked down at her and smiled as if he was reminding himself that this was real. “I’m really glad that you are here. It’s…” Words seemed to fail him.
Elizabeth seemed to understand and could see his apprehension. She recognized that he was hesitating because he feared her response, remembering their terrible fight. She smiled gently at him and reached out her hand to him.
Darcy looked at her hand then her face. Wordlessly, he grasped her hand in his, never breaking his stride but moving minutely closer to her.
Elizabeth looked up to him, her eyes full of emotions, and she said softly, “I’m very glad to be here too.” She smiled shyly at him and was delighted by his response.
They reached the Manor House, where an elegant buffet was laid out. Mary led Elizabeth and the Darcys around, introducing them to the other musicians and staff.
Upon entering the room, Darcy had released Elizabeth’s hand. However, he found himself drawn to her, like a magnet to iron. He lightly rested his hand on the small of her back as the waiters served them. Elizabeth turned and looked at him, indicating her approval of his touch. When he had to remove his hand to shake hands with an acquaintance, the electric shock of Elizabeth’s hand lightly resting on his arm distracted him. Her eyes caught his and the wicked look he saw there told him she knew exactly what she was doing to him.
They sat down together to eat on a pair of seats against the wall, still in plain sight of the rest of the room. As Darcy chatted politely with the conductor for the night’s performance, he nonchalantly crossed his leg, pressing his foot against Elizabeth’s. Elizabeth smiled, making the briefest eye contact, before she returned to her conversation with the concertmistress. The game continued, each one seeing how long they could maintain physical contact with the other. It was blatantly obvious to both of them, yet they didn’t speak of it, only continued to play, coming up with more creative and interesting excuses to touch each other. Darcy’s hand grazed Elizabeth’s calf when he picked up the napkin she dropped; Elizabeth caressed the back of Darcy’s neck while brushing away a piece of lint from his collar. After each of these contacts, their eyes would meet, and a silent communication encouraged them to go on.
In that hour, Elizabeth felt happier than she had in the past two weeks. She was beyond understanding how they had met; it was fate at her most generous. But she was not at all interested in questioning it. Instead, she delighted in each touch and in the glorious knowledge that he had not rejected her.
The luncheon was, in fact, simple for her. She had been to functions like this with her father all through her childhood. The familiarity of the setting helped her feel more at ease with Darcy. They were not yet at liberty to speak freely with each other, but perhaps that was for the best. Instead they allowed their eyes and hands to speak for them while they were in this safe environment. They knew that neither could speak harshly or hurtfully here, and that encouraged them to be closer than they would have otherwise.
They played their discreet game throughout the whole meal, believing themselves to be completely unnoticed, although Georgiana followed it easily. As soon as she saw her brother’s reaction to Elizabeth, even before he had introduced them, she realized who Elizabeth was. Georgiana was as surprised by the chance meeting as anyone else, but she quickly took advantage of it to study the woman Darcy had chosen in her “natural state.”
Georgiana liked what she found in Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth had clearly been just as nervous as her brother, and considering what she knew of their relationship, Georgiana could completely understand that. But it was also clear that they had a great interest in each other, and more than anything, she wanted her brother to be happy. So she was willing to play along and act completely oblivious to their little touching game, all the while smiling politely to the strangers she didn’t dare speak to.
All too quickly the luncheon was over. Darcy frowned slightly as he walked with Elizabeth out of the Manor House and into the bright sunshine. She smiled for an instant as he put his sunglasses on.
“Lizzy,” he said slowly. “I have to meet with someone from the foundation for an hour.” He frowned again, clearly not wishing to leave.
Elizabeth understood his frown and found it matched her feelings perfectly. “I see,” she said politely.
“Will?” Georgiana said softly. “I don’t really feel like going to the class. Perhaps I could stay with Elizabeth and Mary?” She looked pointedly at the Bennet girls.
Darcy looked from his sister to Elizabeth. “That would be great. You don’t mind?”
“Not at all,” Elizabeth nodded agreeably. Georgiana had symbolically offered herself up as a hostage to ensure they would meet again. “I’ll see you later?”
“Yes,” he grinned. He planted a quick kiss on his sister’s cheek and was off. Elizabeth watched him move away, smiling to herself as she admired the strength of his frame.
Elizabeth let Mary direct them to a cool spot to enjoy the beautiful afternoon, and then she turned to Georgiana. “So, I heard you just graduated from high school,” Elizabeth said, trying to open up a conversation with the girl.
Georgiana nodded and mumbled, “Yes.”
“Where are you going to college?”
Georgiana squeaked something that Elizabeth thought was “Stanford,” but she couldn’t be sure.
This was turning out to be more difficult than Elizabeth expected. With a final effort, she said, “Did I hear you were in Europe with Will rece
ntly?”
Georgiana finally made eye contact with Elizabeth and with a tiny smile she nodded.
“Could you tell me about it?”
Slowly Georgiana told her about being in Paris with her brother. Elizabeth soon found that she got the best response when her questions involved Darcy, so she kept to that. Soon the girl was speaking more freely and even told her a funny story about her brother and his passport.
Elizabeth smiled warmly. “He seems very fond of you,” she observed.
Georgiana blushed. “He is very good to me. He was so young when our father died, and he has never complained about taking care of me.”
“He sounds like the perfect big brother.” She wrinkled her nose. “But he can’t be all perfect. Tell me, what does he do when he’s bad?”
“Plays U2,” she said simply, with great solemnity.
Elizabeth laughed until she fell back on the grass. When her chuckles subsided, she asked, “Anything else? Does he tease you or something?”
“No, he would never do that.”
“Wow,” said Elizabeth. “He is perfect.”
Elizabeth was impressed at how much she enjoyed talking to the younger woman. She was startled when Darcy rejoined them to find how quickly the time had passed.
“How did it go?” she asked.
“It was fine,” he assured her. Then he added, with a playful glint, “When you’re giving them money, they’re generally very accommodating.”
Elizabeth matched his smile. “I honestly wouldn’t know, but I can see your point.”
“Can we walk a bit?” Darcy asked.
The ladies stood, and Mary and Georgiana took the lead, giving their siblings some needed privacy.
“Elizabeth,” he waited until her attractive eyes meet his. “I need to apologize. I’m very sorry about what happened before. I’m appalled at my own behavior, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Elizabeth looked at him with undisguised surprise. Her mouth worked for a few seconds before she was able to speak. “I’m sorry,” she whispered earnestly. “I’m so sorry, Will. I shouldn’t have walked out like that.”
Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star Page 37