Then he notices the man’s hands; they are shaking and so are his knees. They actually knock together. The man is petrified, which is what makes him react like this. Gax holds his hands up in his placating gesture, briefly realising that he has been using this gesture an awful lot recently. “You should have…should have…” The man slows down, his voice stutters then goes quiet, his hands wiping his eyes in an exhausted gesture.
“I know,” Gax says, trying to make his voice sound soothing, “I know, I did want to apologise to you though and it had been playing on my mind. So when I spotted you, I just wanted to make sure I talked to you.” The old man shrugs one shoulder and stares at Gax, clearly not seeing this as a good enough excuse for the risk placed on them both. “You see, I upset you with my comment, and…” The man nods, his eyes bright and lively all of a sudden. It is his turn to raise his hand, so Gax stops.
“Yes, you talked about life and living water and not ever being thirsty again. I…” The old man swallows, wringing his shaking hands together, “I have heard those words, oh, many, many moons ago. A friend, you see…” He stares into the distance then, clearly not seeing the stone walls surrounding them. “So I knew what you meant, where you’re coming from. Still, you have no idea, what is life anyway? Is this life, running away, hiding in the shadows, working day in day out, until you’re too old and weak to be of any use? Why would I want to live any longer? You, you are young, but mentioning life like that will end yours pretty smartish, you do know that, don’t you? You might not care, fools never do until it’s too late and they’re in unending trouble. I had a friend you see,” he sighs, sniffs and glares at Gax as if daring him to contradict or deny it all.
“I’m not really talking about this life, here, in the city,” Gax starts, unsure how to formulate it all. “You see, this life is not forever. It’s not even very long and I’m not talking about life Downstream either, for that isn’t overlong either.” Gax swallows, then he notices the man’s eyes, sharp, alive, drinking in his words. “You see, there is also eternity. That’s the life I was speaking about,” Gax says, quietly, suddenly feeling cold, giving a tiny shiver.
The old man feels the same thing, clearly, for he grips Gax’s hand and hisses quietly in his face, “Go, go quickly. Go right, follow the road, it will bring you close to the city gates. I will go left after a while. Go. Onesday I will wait here for you, a little earlier, so you can walk here after the shop. But take extreme care. Go.” He pushes Gax away, suddenly stronger than Gax expected, almost making him lose balance. Gax goes, quickly glancing over his shoulder once. The old man has retreated further into the shadows, his glistening eyes the only thing noticeable. Gax raises his chin very quickly, then he is out into the street, walking towards the gate, unhurried, unhasting, but his heart pumping.
Chapter 33
Gax makes it back to his house unhindered, his head buzzing with excitement and dreams of wonderful opportunities. While preparing dinner his mind runs through various scenarios that might be possible on Onesday. Gax feels pleased that, after all this time there is some interest. Maybe the mission will take off properly now.
The workout in the gymnasium helps to calm his head and Gax feels his mind become more organised. The gym is busy and Gax struggles to get a mat, but the room is silent as ever. No chatter, just heavy breathing and the occasional suppressed grunt when someone pulls too hard. Gax looks round carefully to try and find the camera, then feels himself cooling down instantly when he spots not just one, but a handful, set up at different angles. In a way he is sorry he found out about the cameras, as he finds it almost impossible to keep his eyes off them. He is glad to leave the gymnasium and go home, ready to get some sleep, the kitchen timer under his pillow.
Gax slips out of the house, his Book in his pocket, the night air still warm and sweet. He and Caecilia’s smiles match each other as they meet. She yawns and he asks her how the exam went. “It went well, I think. They want to see that you’re committed to Elabi of course, although if you are too keen it goes against you,” she says and when she sees Gax’s face she shrugs, “Well, they don’t want people who will put their jobs over the community or their family. You need to be committed, but not obsessed.” Gax turns this over in his mind. Workaholics can be a drain on the family as well as society. But these are just students, surely they should be keen and enthusiastic? Caecilia nods, not looking too sure. “Even as a new worker, there’ll be the Nuptialem List and getting your own house, so responsibilities, and they want to make sure that the right people are linked up with the correct jobs and houses.”
Gax dips his head, even though she’s just lost him. Link up with the right house? What does that mean? He asks her and for a moment she looks at him strangely, then giggles, obviously just remembering that he is still new. “Well, only the one appointed family heir takes the house once the parents retire. Usually they then only have a few years before going Downstream. The heir gets a house in the city; in the temporary quarters. The other two children get houses appointed in the permanent quarters. That is, if the couple does actually have the standard three children. Then, when the parents retire, the heir will move into the family home with his family. The parents can stay on if the house is large enough, or they will be given a room in the retirement blocks. Although,” and her voice lowers a little, as if she’s worried someone will overhear her, “it is known that couples in the retirement block go Downstream sooner than the ones that live with their children.”
Gax nods, processing all this new information. “I can imagine someone doing better in their own home, surrounded by children and grandchildren,” he says, amazed again at the level of organisation in Elabi. Then he changes the subject. “So, tomorrow, we go to the beach, yes?” Caecilia nods happily, her face lighting up. “Do we meet there?” Gax agrees, “Yes, that would be easiest.” He isn’t sure he wants the others to know where his house is.
“As you know, to get to the proper beach is more difficult. You have to cross the two bridges as well as the long path down to the beach. It is better than the other one though, not as busy either.” Gax nods and they agree a time midmorning, for Caecilia is sure the others will be tired after the exams as well. Gax misses the buses, bikes and taxis back home, resolved to never take transport for granted again. He hesitates, then says, “Back home I would use my bike, or take a bus to go to something further away like that.” Caecilia’s eyes open wide, excitement appearing in her face, as she urges him to describe a bike or a bus, and how it works and what it’s made of.
“We do have some transport,” she says once Gax has finished. “There is the Tubular that glides from here to beyond the hills and back through an underground tunnel. It picks up stuff they produce and takes convicts and supplies to the hills. It also goes to the waterside just beyond the bridges to collect fresh garum as well as fresh fish or fish products.” Gax is surprised at this, as he has never seen any vehicles in Elabi. “Oh, they run at night,” Caecilia explains, “and not every night either, only once or twice a week at the most. The Tubular is extremely quiet, it hovers just above the ground and makes no sound. So it’s easy to miss,” she smiles at him. Gax dips his head, full of questions, but forces his mind back to beach plans.
The night is getting on; he can sense the restlessness growing in Caecilia. She looks at him, a little shy suddenly. “Your Book, did you bring it? Is there another promise in there?” Gax feels his heart soar, how amazing is this, to have someone ask for more, to want to know more from the Book. This is exactly why he wanted to go to Elabi, for moments like these. He pulls his Book out, having prayed all evening about what to read to her. He turns to the page, his small torch lighting up the thin paper. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you…” Caecilia listens, her eyes glistening in the reflected light of the torch.
“I will see you tomorrow,” he smiles, restraining himself from grinning ear to ear. Caecilia nods; Gax is sure that her smile is larger than usual and he feels pleased. Good to know she’
s excited too, he thinks. He raises his chin, then they both slink off in the dark. Gax yawns as he opens the door, creeping back into the dark house, being as quiet as he can, in case the watchers have come back early.
When Gax wakes up the room is light already. Gax squints against the light coming in through the window, his eyes struggling to open. He knows straight away something is wrong. It’s the light, especially in his right eye. It’s flashing, warping and he closes both eyes with a groan. “No Lord, not today!” He rubs the right side of his face, trying to massage some feelings back into his cheek and mouth corner. His hand feels like it’s on strike too and Gax groans again. It’s a proper good one, he moans, not unexpected either, but to arrive today of all days! He lies still, struggling to organise his thoughts, to make a plan for the morning. “I make to be…not make, have…have to be at the bath. Bath? Beach. That’s it, I have to be at the beach.”
Yulra promptly pipes up. “The beach. Elabi has two beaches. The furthest beach takes one hour and ten minutes to reach.” Gax thanks her, speaking slowly, then opens his eyes again. The flashing lights still continue in one eye, but he does his best to ignore it. It will soon go, it’s the headache and sickness he has to deal with. He tries to think of his options, his thoughts just repeating the question, What next, what do I do next? He tries to slow down his breathing, annoyed with Yulra and the watchers as it normally helps to voice his thoughts out loud, something that is impossible at the moment. He forces his thoughts to behave, concluding that yes, he really needs to take his special painkillers. He needs to take them soon, too, before the headache is in charge completely and no painkiller will bring it back into subordination. Painkillers, the special ones. That makes him groan again. His painkillers are sewn into his cloth bag. How is he going to get them out without the watchers realising what he is doing?
The bathroom! That is really the only place that Gax is quite sure their camera doesn’t get to. Slowly he works on a plan, part of his mind shouting out anxiously that he needs to get to those painkillers now, rather than later! The plan has to be just right and planning is not easy now. It is almost impossible to go beyond repeating the question in order to remember it. Thinking of an answer seems a step too far, but one that Gax will need to take. He needs his bag. He needs to get to the bathroom with his bag. It needs to look normal, as if he is going to have a bath. In the end Gax puts a few clothes in his bag, his one hand doing its own thing and takes off towards the bathroom. He holds on tight on the stairs, his steps slowly and deliberately, his vision no help whatsoever at the moment.
He makes it to the bathroom, the queasiness getting stronger with each stiff step. Gax is relieved to shut the door behind himself. Quickly he puts the bag down, his shaking hands tugging to get the small knife out to undo the tiny stitching. Gax finally pulls the tablet strip free. He feels better already, just knowing the medication is in his hands. He quietly pushes two tablets out, and takes them with some water, letting the bath run at the same time. Then he puts the tablet strip back into the bottom of the bag, knowing that somehow he might have to hide them back into their little slot again. Not now though. Now he just needs to make it to the beach somehow, to spend the day with Caecilia and her friends. Gax manages to get ready and have breakfast. Everything seems to take so much longer as he tries to rush, knowing that he has to leave in time.
By the time he gets his beach stuff together his eyesight is back to normal; all that is left is the headache and a shaky stomach. Gax is relieved, although he wonders how he’s going to get through the day with a headache like this. Being on the beach with other people means no more chance to take extra tablets. He keeps pressing cold fingers against his temples, hoping that the throbbing, banging in his head will subside. He rubs the back of his neck, rubbing strength into his neck muscles, willing his neck to stay strong enough to keep his head upright. He tries to do it with his back to the camera, although his headache makes him care less and less about the watchers, as Gax is solely focussed on getting out of the house in time. He steadies himself on the door whilst locking it, leaning his head against the warm wood, the sun already hot on his back. The bright light worsens his headache. He is stuck.
He has no way of contacting Caecilia and what will happen if he doesn’t go? There will be questions asked no doubt and Gax wants to avoid that. Needs to avoid that, really. He groans, looking at the road, his eyes pricking with unwanted tears. One hour. He has to walk for one hour in the bright sunlight. Then he will be at the beach, having to smile and talk to people all day. At the end of the day, when the heat is still there of course, he will have to walk all the way back. “I can’t Lord,” he whispers as he takes the first few steps, “I really can’t, I don’t know how I’m going to do this…” Gax takes steps, counting them to help his head to focus, taking shallow breaths to steady his stomach as well as helping his head to be fixed on taking steps. Every now and then the thought of his soft cool pillow drifts through his mind, but Gax presses cold shaking fingers against his head and takes another step…and another, breathing prayers in and out with each shaky, shallow breath.
Chapter 34
Gax is relieved to see the second bridge; the heat drifting off the stones towards him. His head is banging out a merry rhythm, making him more miserable with each step. As he mounts the bridge Gax has to stop a moment. He is determined not to throw up, but he isn’t sure whether being determined is going to be enough. Leaning over the bridge, the cool water underneath seems to fan his face. Aided by his cold fingertips, his headache settles down to a more manageable level. Gax decides to cross the bridge and get to the beach as soon as possible. The idea of lying down is attractive, even if it’s lying down in the sun.
When he gets to the beach he spots Caecilia straight away. She is with another girl, which Gax struggles to fully register, needing to focus on Caecilia first. He walks up to her and smiles. She smiles back, raising her chin, then her eyes narrow a little. She sends a very quick glance towards the other girl who is engrossed in setting up a huge towel and sorting out her bags. Caecilia whispers, “You look…grey…” He shrugs and whispers back that he woke up with a headache, but it should be more manageable soon, as he has taken some tablets. Her eyes pop open wide. She glances at the other girl again, fear showing this time. “Don’t say…don’t do that,” she whispers, her voice shaking. Gax dips his head, and promises not to take anymore, in the daytime anyway. He sets up his towel near Caecilia, then stands up again as Caecilia comes to introduce the other girl, as well as a young lad and an older girl who just arrived.
“This is Macia,” Caecilia waves towards the girl who went to extreme lengths to set up her private base. “This is Tima, my sister in law and Palamus, who is a fellow student.” Gax raises his chin at them all, trying to keep his smile warm, genuine, but not too exuberant. Tone down the weird factor, he keeps telling himself. They all set up camp and soon after Caecilia introduces the last two arrivals, Crasso and Savisa, a very pretty girl. Gax notices that Macia and Tima sit a long way apart and Macia seems to avoid looking at Tima. He spots Palamus looking at Savisa a lot and wonders how that works. Will the cameras on the beach pick up on it too? By now his headache is starting to feel more manageable. Lying down certainly helped. Crasso is a large lad, quite tanned and his muscles are bulging. He offers Palamus and Gax a glass jar with cream in, to protect themselves against the sun. Gax is relieved, as he had wondered how he would fare on a hot day on the beach without protection. The cream is cool and Gax quickly dabs a little bit on his temples as well, enjoying the sensation. He briefly wonders how much Crasso himself will need to cover his huge upper body. There are definite disadvantages to working out in the gym, he smiles to himself, one being that you need way more cream than the average person. He is feeling well enough that he considers saying it out loud to the two lads to break the ice. He stops himself though, unsure of their reactions.
He notices Caecilia looking at him every now and again, her eyes worried. She s
miles a little when she sees him looking back, then turns to talk to Tima. All the girls are very beautiful, Gax notices, the guys look strong and healthy. He thinks of Inritia and her siblings that were sent Downstream. Gax shivers in spite of the glaring sun. Tima suggests they go for a swim, Macia pulls a face. “I can’t stand the water,” she says, her voice sharp, grating. “You never know what’s been in there. Also, if you get your hair wet it looks awful.” Gax raises his eyebrows, ready to make a funny comment, but looking at Macia he decides to stay quiet. When he looks at the others, he can see that Palamus noticed his face though. Gax is sure when Palamus turns round towards the water that he is grinning. Gax feels his face warm up, in spite of the cooling cream. He really needs to be careful today.
The water is wonderful, Gax loves the coolness and soft feel of the warm waves. There are no proper waves, just the slightest rise and fall of the water. It’s like being rocked very gently, by cool, long fingers that drape themselves round you. He sighs with contentment, lowering himself down till just his face sticks up. “How creepy can you get,” a sneering voice makes him open one eye, squinting against the light. “Floating like that, ugh, how utterly tasteless.” Macia stomps out of the water, causing larger waves in her wake, one of them running over Gax’s face, making him splutter and stand up in a hurry. He spits out the water, but grins, taking a breath to say something witty to the elegantly stomping girl, but stops just in time. Tima rolls her eyes at Macia, then shrugs.
By lunchtime Gax feels bored. There is no real chatter, or conversation. No jokes, no wild stories, nothing. He has talked to both Crasso and Palamus about their studies. That conversation lasted about three minutes. Then they talked about the gymnasium, adding another four minutes. Gax is trying to think of another conversation topic, but Crasso is now lying down on his towel with his eyes closed. Palamus is leaning back on his towel, looking out over the water. Gax looks at Savisa, and almost groans when he spots her doing her nails, just like Inritia. He glances at Caecilia, catches her eye, but she shakes her head almost imperceptibly. No chance there either. Gax lies down on his towel and closes his eyes. It is actually lovely to just relax. His head is still pounding, like a team of ground workers inside his skull, but the queasiness is gone. He feels sleepy and before he knows it he can feel himself drifting off. Every now and then he resurfaces, usually because of Macia’s voice. Complaining about sand in her food. Complaining about sand on her shirt. Complaining about the temperature of her water bottle. Complaining about the lack of food on the beach. Gax rolls his eyes, knowing that even Palamus can’t see him do it behind closed eyelids. Yet despite his irritation he feels sad for her.
Walled City (The Elabi Chronicles Book 1) Page 20