by K. W. Jeter
Now it was too late for any of them to jump off. They might as well stay to the end of the line. Von Behren looked past the crew and actors to where Marte sat on a spindly wooden chair in the shadowed area beyond the lights. She was in costume, a gown of white that turned her skin even paler. The bodice and high neck had been loosened, to make it easier for her to breathe; the wardrobe assistant would have to stitch it tight again before Marte could go before the camera. Her profile was turned toward von Behren, her eyes closed, lips slightly parted; she looked as if she were dying, and was more beautiful than ever before.
Von Behren supposed he had the Reichsminister to thank for that as well. It served the purposes of the script, the lady of the castle wasting away beneath the curse that had befallen the land, the sins of Jagdfrevel punished by the hunter cloaked in red. Just as in the book of old Marchen, every branch would wither, the crops blacken in the fields, the women mourn their children…
Marte had had one last meeting with her precious Joseph; she had told von Behren everything that had been said. The lies, and then the truth. That was when the silence had folded around her. She could speak the lines he wrote for her to say, and move from mark to mark on the stage, all in a dreaming, otherworldly quiet. The empty sadness behind her eyes, which had always reached out and laid a hand upon the hearts of those who saw her, now engulfed the onlookers, drawing them in and leaving them broken in a lightless room, the burial place of their own dreams. He had seen the other actors turn away, unable to bear such annihilating grace; even the cameraman had been forced to take his eye away from the viewfinder, to brush away a blurring tear. Von Behren knew that if he could capture that on film – and he had; the first reels he’d had printed and screened in private had caught her face perfectly, her silent, judging gaze like a knife to be embraced – it would be his masterwork. That by which he would be remembered, if any of it survived the last days of the war. To his own shame, he had rearranged the shooting schedule, to get as much footage of Marte as possible, before she died. In this, he knew he was as other men, even the Reichsminister he so despised. He wanted something, perhaps the same thing they all did, though the taking of it might destroy her. And as with the others, in this he was helpless. There was nothing else he could do.
“Marte?”
She opened her eyed, turned and looked at him, then nodded slowly to indicate that she had heard every word that had been spoken in the studio. “Yes…” Her voice came from that hollow space inside her. “I’ll stay. It’s all right.” Her gaze shifted away. “There’s no place else for me to go…”
With each of her words, von Behren had felt himself turning into a thing of lead, his own weariness encasing his shoulders and spine. He managed to look over at his assistant director. “If you wish to go, I won’t hold it against you. But you will have to decide for yourself.”
The other managed a rueful smile as he shook his head. “She’s right -” He looked up, listening to the clashing sounds that had already grown closer and louder. “There really is nowhere else to go.”
“Very well.” Von Behren turned away, clapping his hands once more for attention. He raised his voice. “Let us get to work, then.” He glanced up at the clouded sun that had leaked through a corner of the overhead canvases. “While we still have light…”
***
He was so faint from hunger that he could no longer feel the ground beneath him as he walked. The only food he’d had on his long trek from the asylum had been a few green shoots pushing through the melting snow. That, and a few scraps of charred pork he’d found in the ashes of a fire left behind by Russian soldiers. His stomach had clenched around the strong-tasting meat and he’d been sick, vomiting it all back up. After that, he’d felt odd and feverish, the world shimmering uneasily in his sight.
From the hiding place of a muddy ditch, Pavli had witnessed the Red Army crossing the Oder, the heavy tanks splashing across the wide, shallow river. Nobody had detected his presence, though he had been close enough to hear the rough voices shouting incomprehensible words, the harsh laughter of the troops who had come so far from the east and were now within sight of their enemy’s capital. They were all blinded and deafened by the roar of cannon fire, the shouting rush of the Katushka rocket launchers, the ‘Stalin organs’ – that was what he had heard them called by the guards back at the asylum, the ones who had served time on the front. Even before the shelling of the German defenses on the opposite shore had ended, the Russians had plunged into the water, some swimming across in full gear, others in tiny, gun-laden boats or pushing rafts of supplies. Pavli had raised his head above the crumbling dirt rim and had watched the thousands of men swarming insect-like through the churning river. When silence came again, the artillery ceasing its bombardment, he had felt a scalding wind die against his face, the air tortured by the massed explosions.
He had made his own way across in the wake of the advancing army, floating with his arms wrapped around a shattered tree trunk, pushing away the ragged corpses of those who had been crushed by tank treads or had caught a bullet from the fleeing Germans. Their bearded faces still looked fierce, teeth clenched with vengeful desire. With the bag of black leather still clutched in his hand, he had staggered onto the other shore, coughing up the water made salty with blood.
That had been days ago. The Red Army was somewhere to his right now; he had drifted a little to the south as he had continued stumbling westward. That’s good, he told himself, the words creaking in his weary brain. You mustn’t let them catch you… That was his greatest fear, that he might fall into the Russians’ hands. He spoke only German and a few words and phrases of the gypsy-like tongue his uncle and the others occasionally had used. Would they think he was a deserter, or a scout from some nearby Wehrmacht division? From what he had already seen, these soldiers were given to making no distinction between one German male and another; it was obviously easier, and safer, to shoot anything that moved and then examine the corpses for items of value. Pavli still had Ritter’s SS dagger tucked inside his shirt; the blade bumped against his protruding ribs. If they found that on him – if he were still alive when they found it – it would be excuse enough to kill him and take the knife for a souvenir. Still, he hadn’t been able to throw it away. In the darkness, he could clasp both fists around its handle, ready to swing the glittering edge across the face of anyone who might chance upon him.
His heavy eyelids drew closed, involuntarily, as he kept walking. The smell of burnt wood and the buzzing of flies brought him awake again. He stopped, shoulders hunched and mouth open to draw in one slow breath after another, and looked around.
He recognized the place; he was in the open square of one of the little villages just outside Berlin. He had come here with his uncle a few times, for photographs to be made into postal cards. The clock tower had a distinctive ornate design, the circle of numbers mounted with a scowling sun and smiling moon on an iron grille through which doves could reach their nests inside. There was no cooing and fluttering of wings now; silence, shaken only by the distant thunder of the war. A closer, almost electrical vibrating, hung over the broken and smoke-blackened buildings.
As his foot struck a hand outstretched upon the cobblestones, a cloud of flies burst into the air, then settled back down upon the corpse’s wounds. Pavli saw the dead now, scattered in the open or in the doorways. Most of them in uniform, darkened by the bleeding around the bullet holes; a few were civilians, without any rifles lying nearby.
“ Wer bist du? ”
Startled, Pavli turned toward the voice. For a moment, he couldn’t locate its source. Then he saw a woman peering from behind one of the doors. She emerged slowly, staring at him. Her hair was dusted with grey ash, her face smeared with soot.
“Who are you?” she demanded again. She had already crossed the square, her hands with their black-rimmed nails reaching up toward him.
He stepped backward, away from the woman. “No one -” The word, the first he had spoken in wee
ks, cracked in his throat. He shook his head. “I’m no one -”
Her hands darted out and snared upon the black leather bag he had clutched to his chest. Her eyes grew wilder, the thin arms in the torn sleeves shaking in desperation.
The woman had taken Pavli by surprise. He had almost lost his grasp upon the bag before he was able to push her away. He turned to run, but she caught his shoulders, the crook of her elbow around his neck.
“Give it to me!” She wept with frustration. “You must -”
They toppled together onto the stones, Pavli landing hard against his chest, the handle of Ritter’s knife shoving into his gut. The sudden pain flared into anger. He pushed himself onto one arm and swung his other fist across the woman’s face, knocking her from him.
He stood up painfully and reached down for the leather bag. As his breath returned to his aching lungs, he turned toward the woman.
“I’m hungry -” She knelt, arms clasped around her nonexistent breasts, rocking back and forth as the tears striped the dirt on her face. “I was hiding for so long – down there. Vati told me to, he told me not to come out until it was quiet – and now I can’t find him…”
He had thought she was an old woman, and now he saw that she was younger than him, almost a child.
“I… I can’t…” Her pleading gaze clove his heart as he stepped backward. “I can’t…” He turned and ran, holding the bag tighter to himself.
She had just been hungry; that was all. His own stomach had contracted to his spine. In a thick stand of pine outside the village, he slowed down, the smoke-laden air a rock between his lungs. She thought I had something… that’s all. He stopped, trying to keep exhaustion from felling him to the ground. In the branches above his head, the birds watched him.
Too dangerous to continue on, carrying the leather bag with the skin of his brother Matthi inside. Not that he was afraid of being caught with such a thing, of what would happen to him – they could only kill him – but what they would do with the skin, the remnant of his brother. He couldn’t bear the thought of it being violated, thrown aside in disgust and trampled into the ground, or tossed onto a smoldering fire.
Pavli knelt down. The knife’s sharp point broke open the ground, softer now that the spring thaw had set in; with his hands, he scooped out a hole deep enough in which to hide the bag of black leather. When he stood up, he memorized the location of where he buried the leather bag, an outcropping of rock serving as a marker. The time might come when he would be able to exhume it, have his brother with him once more, in the hope that Matthi would once more speak to him. But if his own death came instead, better that his brother’s skin lay in the earth undisturbed.
He heard a rush of wings overhead. The birds scattered, disturbed by the concussive sounds of the artillery to the north. A lull for several minutes, but now the bombardment of the city had begun again. The clouded sky flared white with each explosion.
With his boot, Pavli smoothed the dirt over what he had buried. Then he started walking again, toward the flames mounting in the distance, and the place where the earth split open to receive him.
TWENTY-THREE
“There!” The assistant director pointed to the streets below. “You see? We waited too long – we should have left hours ago!”
Von Behren leaned closer to the glass. The head grip had led the way, up the shaking metal stair and across the catwalks above the stage, to the studio’s highest window; the canvas that had covered it lay crumpled at their feet. “It is dangerous, Herr von Behren -” The grip held the director’s arm, pulling him back.
He paid no heed to the warning. From this vantage point, he could see for blocks around the studio. The streets were lit red with the flames from burning buildings, broken by the quick, glaring white of artillery shells. With each nearby impact, the studio trembled, the catwalks creaking and rattling, the window glass shivering, ready to burst into razor shards. Beneath the smoke mounting to the dense clouds filling the sky, running figures were cut down by shrapnel, momentum rolling the suddenly lifeless bodies into the gutters and against the lampposts.
Inside the studio, the filming had come to a halt long ago; it had been impossible to continue beneath the thunder of the Red Army’s bombardment of the city. The actors had no longer been able to hear von Behren’s shouted instructions, the quaking floors rattling the cameras out of focus.
“We must get out of here!” The assistant director shouted into von Behren’s ear. “The shelling is getting thicker – it’ll only be a matter of minutes before the studio is hit!”
Von Behren nodded. “All right -” No more that could be done here, no reasons for staying. He turned away from the window. “Go down and tell the others. We’ll try for the shelter beyond the rail station. It’s the largest, they might still have room for -”
The words were torn from his mouth by a blinding explosion. He was knocked back against the window frame; over his shoulder, he could see the glittering pieces of glass swirling out onto the street below. He clung to the assistant director’s arm, the two of them falling onto the catwalk as it heaved and buckled, bolts tearing out of the wall.
Now the flames were inside; he could feel the heat surging through the grillwork beneath his hands. Smoke billowed around him as the head grip took his arm, raising him from his knees. “The petrol – for the generators!” The grip pointed below. The fuel had been stored at the farthest end of the building, away from the stage; it was from that direction the fire rolled across the floor. “It must have been hit straight on!”
The screaming from one of the actresses cut through the shouts of the others. At von Behren’s side, the face of the assistant director appeared, bleeding from a gash across the brow. Von Behren pushed him and the grip toward the wobbling stairs. “Get everybody out!” More smoke welled up as the painted scenery flats caught fire. “Keep them all together – don’t let anyone run away!” Coughing, he grabbed the catwalk rail and followed after the two men.
On the stage floor, the actors and crew had already rushed toward the tall sliding doors, locked against intruders. The assistant director fought through the mass of bodies, key in hand; as soon as the heavy padlock fell from the hasp, the flames behind leapt higher with the rush of air inside. The opening was pushed wider, the closest ones spilling out into the chaos of the street.
Another explosion, an artillery shell or the last of the fuel canisters igniting, bellowed through the studio. The stairs to the catwalks tore free, ripping down banks of lights as they crashed to the floor. An iron pole struck von Behren across the shoulder as he threw himself to one side.
He could still hear screaming as he got to his feet. Covering his mouth against the smoke, he saw his youngest actress standing in the middle of the stage, slapping at the flames licking up from the hem of her costume. He staggered toward her and grabbed the skirt, tearing the embroidered fabric loose at her waist and revealing the makeshift petticoats beneath. The cloth burned his wrist as he threw it aside. “Go!” He shoved her toward the others milling at the doors. One of the men at the back of the crowd looked over his shoulder, grabbed the weeping girl by the arm and pushed her ahead of himself.
“What are you doing?” Von Behren had started toward the doors and had run into his cameraman. “Get out of here!”
“No -” The cameraman shook his head as he clutched a stack of flat metal canisters tighter in his arms. “Not until I get the rest of the film out of the storage vault!”
The words were at von Behren’s tongue, to tell the other to forget about such unimportant things; he had started to reach for the canisters and send them clattering across the ash-darkened stage floor, but stopped himself. “All right, fetch them!” He shouted over the fire’s roar, the earth-heaving blows of artillery shells. “Then get out the back way and come around – don’t try to go through here -”
The cameraman was already gone, head lowered against the heat, stumbling blindly toward the other end of the studio. Von Be
hren lost sight of him in the smoke, then turned away, his singed palms raised to feel his way toward the doors.
He was the last to reach the outside. The glare from the buildings on fire and the continuous bombardment was bright as daylight; knife-edged shadows danced in all directions from the crew and actors’ silhouetted figures. The assistant director and the head grip had already begun to lead the crowd toward the shelter several blocks away. Von Behren’s foot caught against a corpse sprawled on the sidewalk, its face and bared chest ripped by flying pieces of metal. He knew it wasn’t one of his people; the blood had already been scorched black against the pallid flesh. He stepped over the outflung arms, spreading his own out to gather up any stragglers.
Something shrieked overhead, splitting the red-tinged clouds. A second later, the shockwave rolled over von Behren, knocking him onto his hands and knees. He scrambled to his feet and saw the studio building breaking open, a swelling column of flames mounting through the shattered roof. The walls tottered for a moment, each brick outlined by the fire within, then fell back in upon themselves, each collapsing upon the next. He stood paralyzed, unable to make out any sign of the cameraman.
“Come on -”
He looked down and saw his youngest actress tugging at his arm.
She pulled harder, straining toward the others disappearing into the smoke. “You must -”
“Yes…” He turned away from the studio’s ruins, letting himself be pulled toward the distant refuge.
***
He walked through the end of the world.
Beneath Pavli, the ground erupted into flame, the explosions a fist of air that battered against his heart. The high buildings crumbled toward where he cowered in the street. Night had become harrowing day, as though a fierce sun had risen behind each shattered window.