by Z. B Heller
“Brandon.” He hung his head and sighed but then looked back at me. “I came to your place straight from the coffee shop and rang the buzzer until my finger bled. I called you and texted you a thousand times, trying to explain what happened. But all you did was ignore me.”
“I know. I was wrong,” I said. Those seemed to be the only words I could muster.
He opened the door that led into the hallway, and I followed him out so we could speak with some privacy. He turned to look at me and rubbed his hand over his mouth. I pushed my glasses up my nose—a nervous habit Ryan knew all too well. Security came down the hall with walkie-talkies in hand. I’m sure multiple people had called them when a stranger flew into the studio. Ryan waved to them.
“It’s okay, Kevin, he’s with me.” The guard nodded towards Ryan and turned back to the elevator.
“After everything that had happened between us, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I deserved a little trust from you. The one time it looked like I’d fucked up, you ran the hell away. Tom tracked me down at the coffee shop and begged me to take him back, saying that he made the worst mistake of his life. You know what I told him?”
I shook my head in response.
“I told him that breaking up with him was the best thing that ever happened to me because in this weird, cosmic world we live in, you were brought back into my life. I told him that you were the love of my life since we were eighteen years old. He wasn’t too keen on hearing that, so he kissed me, thinking that it would somehow change how I felt. That’s what you saw, but what you didn’t see was me pushing him off and telling him to go to hell.”
“ ‘Were’?” My voice shook.
“What?”
“You said ‘were the love of my life.’ You said it in past tense.”
Ryan looked at me incredulously. “Out of all of that, that’s what you heard?” He threw his hands up and huffed.
“Yes! The thought of losing your love makes me panic.”
“Brandon. The way I feel about you will never disappear. God knows over the years I have tried everything to erase it. But I can’t keep living with the constant fear that I’m going to let you down or fuck up. My heart is yours—it will always be yours.”
I went up to him and took his face in my hands. “Ryan, I will tell you a thousand—no, a million—times that I was wrong. I should have let you explain what happened. I was so scared that I would lose you, and in the end, it was my stupidity that pushed you away. Over the past few weeks, I realized that I still had some demons to battle, and I was stupid enough to think I could do it alone. But I can’t do anything without you by my side. You are my heart and soul, Ryan Keller. I don’t want another day to go by without proving to you that I need you. I am so sorry.” I released his face.
I felt my heart pound in my chest as I waited for Ryan to say something. I knew that my life without Ryan would be empty. I knew this because up until he showed up in the delivery room, that’s what my life was. Sure, I had reconciled some things in my past. I completed my education and became the doctor I wanted to be. I was even able to accept the fact that I was gay and live my life openly and proudly. But something had been missing, and that was Ryan.
“Please say something,” I finally said.
He looked at me with those soulful eyes, and I tried to prepare myself for the rejection I thought was coming.
“Do you want to order Chinese or Thai tonight?”
My brows creased, and I shook my head, not understanding
His mouth twisted upward and the corners of his eyes crinkled. “Well, if we’re going to have makeup sex, I need to know that I’m going to be properly fed afterward.”
I closed my eyes and let out a sigh of relief. I grabbed him and wrapped him tightly in my arms. He returned the embrace, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck.
“I love you,” I whispered into his ear.
“I love you, too.”
I let go of him just enough so I could tackle his lips with mine.
Over, over, and, over.
I had to finish up some business at the station before Brandon and I could officially reunite. He patiently waited for me in the production booth as I tied up loose ends. He teased me by licking his lower lip every time I looked at him. I needed to readjust my pants a few times to let the boner he was giving me breathe. He chuckled and played on his phone; he knew what he was doing. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and saw a new message.
Suck me.
The text was accompanied by a picture of him in the bathroom, palming the erection in his pants.
We decided to forgo taking both cars to Brandon’s condo and drove in his car together. We kissed at every red light, which garnered angry horn blaring when we failed to move when the light turned green. After what felt like hours in traffic, we made it to his condo, parked, and swiftly reached to the elevators. I had every intention of making Brandon pay for that little tease at work, just as soon as the doors—
“Hold the elevator!” A man yelled, racing down the entryway.
“No, don’t fucking touch the hold button, Brandon,” I said with fire. Brandon looked straight into my eyes and gave me a smirk so evil it would have made the devil blush. He reached out and pressed a button. I narrowed my eyes, and his smirk turned into a delicious grin. The little shit knew what he was doing to me.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate you holding it for me,” the breathless man said.
“No problem. We’re not in a rush.” Brandon moved to stand behind me in the elevator to give the man some room. The man pressed the sixth floor and then cursed.
“Ugh, I think she lives on the tenth floor.” He pushed that number instead. Now we had to stop at two different floors before reaching Brandon’s apartment on the fifteenth floor. Fuuuuck.
The man stood in front of Brandon and me, facing the elevator doors. They finally closed all the way, and Brandon took the opportunity to grab me by the waist and pull me back until I was flush against him—dick to ass. I could feel his length through his jeans; he was rock-star hard. My dick took instant notice and wanted to put on his little boxing gloves and come out fighting. Without saying a word, Brandon leaned in; his breath tickled the shell of my ear. I closed my eyes and bit my lip so hard it almost bled.
The asshole, as I so lovingly called my boyfriend, had the nerve to chuckle at my distress. I felt like Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind, playing a game of cat and mouse. “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.” Wait, isn’t that what Rhett says? And the truth was, I did give a damn. A whole lot of damn. My poor dick was trapped, saying, “Well, fiddledeedee.”
I took matters into my own hands and reached behind my back to palm Brandon’s erection. He sucked in a sharp breath and then made a deep growl.
“I’m sorry, did you say something?” The man turned to look at us.
“Nope, not at all,” I said, giving him a shit-eating smile. After he turned back around, I squeezed Brandon again, loving the way his erection filled my hand. His tongue snaked out and traced the shell of my ear, making my eyes flutter closed and giving me goose bumps.
The elevator stopped on the first floor that the man had selected. I brushed past him and pressed the Door Close button feverishly until they finally moved together. I walked back to my place in front of Brandon, and he gave my ass a nice, firm squeeze as I backed up. It was settled. I was going to die right there in the elevator due to an overload of sexual frustration.
We gather here today to remember Ryan Keller, who died so tragically in an elevator due to his blue balls exploding in frustration. He is survived by his loving family and his boyfriend, Ryan, who was to blame for the whole ordeal.
The elevator was approaching the man’s final destination. “Shit!” he exclaimed. “It’s the eleventh floor.” He reached to press another button.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I blurted out. “My dick is so hard it’s going to stab you right in the back beca
use my boyfriend here has been teasing me for the past thirty minutes. All I want to do is go fuck him until he’s too raw to move. And you, with your dementia brain, can’t make up your fucking mind what floor you need to go.”
The bell rang before the doors slid open again. This time I grabbed Brandon’s hand, moved past the stunned man, and exited the elevator. Brandon chuckled as he followed.
“We’re taking the fucking stairs; it’s faster.” I pulled him toward the stairwell.
Brandon pushed me up against the concrete wall of the stairwell. His mouth collided with mine, his tongue pushing out of his lips, begging permission to enter my mouth. Who was I to deny him? I fisted his hair with force, pulling his head to me. His hands went to my buckle and undid it with diligent speed. Our tongues twirled while I heard the zipper of my pants being pulled down.
I broke the kiss. “Brandon, we’re in the stairwell,”
“Fuck if I care. I want your cock in my mouth now. I don’t care if the Pope walked in right now.”
“Okay, I didn’t need that mental image.”
His lips were back on me, the kiss heated and urgent. “Let me give you a better picture then.”
He slowly dropped to his knees; his dark brown eyes never leaving mine. Reaching into my briefs, he found my hard-on and pulled it out into the cool air. His tongue darted out, and he slowly circled the crown of my cock, paying extra attention to the nerve endings right under the head.
“Fuuuck,” I moaned. My eyes slammed shut and, my head tilted back to rest on the concrete. “Suck me in your mouth, please.” I was begging like a little kid who wanted a new toy.
Brandon decided he was done torturing me and filled his mouth with my dick. He took his hand and held it at the base while he bobbed his head up and down, and up and down again. I grabbed his head and guided him into a steady rhythm. With his other hand, he took my balls from my briefs and gave them a gentle tug. I felt a tingle of warmth at the base of my spine and knew if I didn’t stop him, I was going to bust my nut right there. There was no way—I wasn’t going to come inside Brandon’s mouth; I wanted his ass squeezing my cock.
I grabbed the long blue tie Brandon had around his neck and yanked on it until he released my dick and stood up. “As amazing as it feels to have my dick down your throat, I wasn’t kidding about what I said in the elevator.”
“And what was that?” He knew full well what I’d said.
I ghosted my lips over his and spoke softly. “I’m going to fuck you raw.”
With that, Brandon took my hand and pulled me up the staircase. My dick was still out of my pants and standing at full attention, but I didn’t care. If the Pope did show up, he would get one hell of a show. When we reached Brandon’s floor, he opened the door to the hallway and took a brief look left and right to see if anyone was there. He reached into his pocket to get his keys.
“Hallway is clear.” He tugged my hand.
When we reached his door, he couldn’t have worked the lock fast enough. The door swung open and forcefully hit the wall. Brandon didn’t care. He pulled me in and used his foot to slam the door shut. Within seconds, he was kissing me and shucking out of his clothes.
“Leave the tie on,” I said. He didn’t respond with words, but his face lit up. I pulled my shirt over my head, kicked off my shoes, and slipped off my pants and boxer briefs the rest of the way. Brandon stood in front of me, gloriously naked except for the royal blue tie. If I thought my dick couldn’t get any harder, I was sorely mistaken.
His brown eyes had become so dark with desire that they almost looked black. I admired his body head to toe, eyeing his chiseled abdomen and his curved cock. He was so beautiful, not just his body, but also his soul. I silently thanked God for giving me this man to fully love and protect.
He stalked toward me until we were chest to chest. I took the tie, looped it around my hand, and tugged on it until our heads met.
“You are mine. Do you understand?” I asked. He nodded. “No, I want to hear the words. You. Are. Mine.”
“I’m yours,” he said softly.
I smiled and backed off a little, not letting go of the tie. I walked backward toward Brandon’s bedroom. He followed, his dark eyes never wavering from mine. I pushed him down on the bed. I reached for the bedside table to get the lube and condoms.
“No,” Brandon blurted out. I froze and looked back at him, thinking that maybe he’d moved everything. I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. “I don’t want to use a condom. I want to feel you, all of you. We’re both clean, and I don’t want anything between us anymore.”
I placed the lube on the bed and crawled over Brandon’s body. Bracing my hands next to his head, I trailed kisses down his cheek, along his neck, and to his shoulder, where I took small nips with my teeth. I lined up our cocks and began to grind my hips against him, loving the way it felt.
“Ryan, I’m going to come before we even start,” he said, breathless.
He let out a frustrated groan and met each of my thrusts with equal fervor. I sat back on my knees, took his legs, and bent them, so his knees were touching his chest. His puckered hole was on display for me, like a sweet treat waiting to be consumed. I leaned my head down and gave a quick swipe of my tongue over the sensitive opening.
“Oh, fuck,” Brandon cried. “More, Jesus, more.”
Who was I to deny what he wanted? Bending down again, I darted my tongue out, swirling and diving into his hole and making the muscle ring contract. Brandon grabbed himself and started to tug on his length, but I grabbed his hand to stop it.
“No.” I shook my head. “Your pleasure belongs to me; I will take it when I want it.”
“Please,” he pleaded.
“After what you put me through this past month, all the worrying, you’ll be lucky if I let you orgasm at all.”
“Ugh.” Brandon threw his head back on the pillow, and I went back to my tortuous onslaught of his ass. I picked up the lube from the bed and popped the cap open. I gently squeezed some out onto two of my fingers and brought them to Brandon’s awaiting hole. Gingerly, I stuck the first finger in and swirled it around. I didn’t hesitate to add the second, scissoring them to open him up.
“Damn it, Ryan, I need you to fuck me.”
Removing my fingers, I told Brandon to flip over so he was on his stomach. I crawled over his toned body and whispered in his ear, “Get on all fours.”
Without argument, he did what I asked, and I settled in behind him. I dragged my hands from his shoulders down his spine and bent down to kiss the spot where his spine met the cheeks of his ass. With one hand, I separated his cheeks so I could line up my cock with his hole. Slowly, I nudged forward but then retreated. I knew this would drive Brandon crazy. Served him right for teasing me.
“Ryan, if you don’t stick your cock in me, I’m going to roll you over and show you how it’s—”
Before he could finish his words, I rammed myself into him.
“Holy fuck!” he yelled, grasping the comforter so hard I thought he would tear it.
“You were saying?” I asked with a childish chuckle.
“Fuck me so hard I forget who I am.”
And I did just that. I moved slowly at first, back and forth with a natural rhythm. I held on to his waist and let my hand glide over his back. He pushed back into me, seeking more force. I pumped my hips faster when Brandon made sounds of pleasure. He lifted himself so we were chest to back but still connected. Every time I thrusted forward, he moved with me, and he thrust us back. I wrapped one hand around his waist to grab his steely erection and the other hand held onto his chest. I stroked him faster, and his head fell back onto my shoulder, his harsh breath music in my ear.
“Ryan, I can’t hold out. I need to come.”
I fucked him faster and jerked him with equal speed. I knew I was going to burst inside of him. “Now, Brandon. Come now.”
He yelled out my name and jets of thick cum shot out in front of him. The sight sent me over
the edge, and I squeezed my eyes shut and bit into his neck, muffling my own cries as I filled him.
We fell forward, not caring that we landed in Brandon’s release, and tried to regain ourselves. The room spun like the most beautiful carnival ride, and I never wanted to get off.
“I think you killed me,” Brandon finally said. I pulled myself out of him, kissed his shoulder, and then flopped back onto the bed.
“You can’t die on me now, I just got you back.”
He turned his head on the pillow to look at me. A bead of sweat dripped down the side of his face. I used my finger to wipe it away. Brandon took the opportunity to grab my finger and gave it a soft kiss. I smiled at the gesture.
“You never lost me, Ryan,” he said as his eyes fluttered shut.
“What do you mean?”
“Remember what we said when we were in college?”
“We said a lot of things in college. I think mainly about how suave I was and how you needed a new wardrobe.” I chuckled.
“True, but something we said after the first time we were together.”
“What was that?” I brought the hand I was holding close to my chest.
“That we were tied together. Forever.”
In that moment, no words would ever be truer.
Three years later
“Hurry up, dick sucker—I mean my lovely husband—or we’re going to be late!” Moxie called from the bottom of the stairs.
“Mommy, Sophie called me a sick bucker.” I heard Jaxon scurry his little three-year-old feet over to his mother. Sophie had taken to repeating everything Moxie said.
“Sophie, I told you if you were going to use bad language, try to use it correctly.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head at the chaos that was happening below me. Moxie had her hands full with two vivacious three-year-olds and a genius eleven-year-old beginning to show signs of puberty. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes to see Miles standing next to me. Over the years, I’d given Moxie shit about convincing Miles to switch to the home team. But in truth, Miles had become a brother to me, and I thanked my lucky stars they were both in my life.