by Marin Thomas
His mother returned to her recliner. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Phoenix? I would have asked for time off from work.”
“I can’t stay. I’m on my way to Winslow.”
“Another rodeo?”
“Yep.”
“Looks like you’ve been staying healthy unless you’re hiding a cast under that shirt.”
“No broken bones. Sore muscles and achy joints but that’s nothing new.”
“How’s Dixie?”
“Good.”
“Just good?”
“We set a wedding date.”
“Then things between you two are better than good.” His mother smiled. “Have you decided where you’ll live after you marry?”
Gavin read between the lines of his mother’s question. She wanted him to settle near her in Phoenix. “A lot has happened since we last talked.”
“And whose fault is that? You only phone every two weeks.”
“I’ll try to do better.” Gavin smiled sheepishly. After years in the military where he’d been in the habit of phoning home once a month he had trouble keeping track of the time between calls to his mother.
Yet you remembered to check in with Dixie every night this past week.
“Dixie and I bought a gift shop in Yuma and she’s selling her homemade soaps there.” His mother would only worry if she discovered Gavin had taken out the loan but the store belonged to Dixie.
“Does this mean you’re going to retire from rodeo?”
“Not yet. Perfumed soaps aren’t my thing. Dixie’s in charge of the store.”
“How long do you plan to rodeo, then?”
Gavin sympathized with his mother worrying over his health and safety. She’d spent six years fretting about him in the army. He’d come back alive from a war zone and she still had to worry he’d get his head stomped in by a bronc. “I’ll rodeo until the baby’s born.”
“And Dixie’s due date is...?”
“Sometime in March. I’m planning to look for a civilian job after Christmas. Hopefully I’ll find work in Yuma.”
“So you and Dixie intend to stay in Yuma?”
“No. Dixie’s lived her entire life in Stagecoach, Mom. The family farm means a lot to her and they lease the pecan groves to a business corporation so she’ll want to be close by to keep an eye on things.” Her six brothers could do the eye-keeping, but in truth, Stagecoach had grown on Gavin.
When he’d left the army he’d planned to live in a big city where he could go about his daily routine with a good amount of anonymity. With a baby on the way and he and Dixie marrying, Gavin believed the best environment for their child was among friends and family.
“Would you consider moving to Yuma? It’s not that far from Stagecoach.” It had always been the two of them—Gavin’s grandparents had disowned his mother when she’d turned up pregnant.
“Is that your roundabout way of asking if I’ll take care of the baby while you and Dixie work?”
“Not at all. Dixie’s going to bring the baby to the shop with her.”
If push came to shove, Gavin would admit fatherhood was scarier than fighting the Taliban and he’d appreciate having his mother’s support and guidance.
“I’d like nothing better than to live closer to you and the baby, but I love my job with the parks department and Ricardo...” Her cheeks turned pink.
His mother had never dated while she’d raised him—at least not to Gavin’s knowledge. “You love this man?”
“Not love. I like Ricardo very much. He’s a widower and we enjoy each other’s company.”
“No pressure, Mom. I want you to be happy. Just know you can visit Dixie and me as often as you want.”
“I will do that. Are you planning to live at her farm, then?”
Gavin cringed at the prospect of sharing a house with the Cash brothers. “For a while, I guess.”
“What’s the matter, honey? You seem—” his mother waved a hand in the air by her face “—unsettled.”
Needing to voice his fear out loud, he said, “I’m not sure Dixie’s as committed to making our marriage work as I am.”
“Go on.”
“Dixie and I have gone about this whole thing in an unconventional way.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “She didn’t tell me she was pregnant. I had to confront her. In the beginning I wasn’t ready for marriage and only wanted to offer financial support.” Gavin popped off the couch and paced by the front door. “Then I had a change of heart.”
Because being with Dixie makes you feel good inside.
“I insisted that Dixie and I marry for the baby’s sake.”
His mother’s eyes widened.
“I know it sounds bad, but Dixie grew up without a father, too, and I thought she’d appreciate my gesture.”
“I’m guessing she didn’t.”
“No. She rejected my proposal and...”
“And what?”
“I was relieved.”
“Why?”
“I wasn’t ready to settle down, Mom. I’ve been on the move with the army for so long I didn’t think I could stay in one place and be happy.” Gavin’s explanation was weak at best.
“Then Dixie and I spent more time together and got to know each other better. So I thought, why not do what was best for the baby and maybe along the way we’d all become a real family.”
“Dixie didn’t see things your way?”
“No. She agreed to an engagement but wanted to wait to marry until after the baby was born.”
“What changed her mind about setting a wedding date?”
That was the million-dollar question. “I don’t know.” He didn’t want to believe Dixie felt indebted to him for buying the shop in Yuma. Or that after making love in the shower she’d allowed her hormones to speak for her. Gavin hoped her feelings for him were deepening.
“Have either of you said the words I love you?”
Gavin dropped his gaze to the tips of his boots. “No.”
“Then maybe the wedding should wait.”
Dixie was skittish enough about marrying. If Gavin suddenly got cold feet and suggested they postpone their nuptials he’d never convince her to pick another date. “I think it’s best we marry now not after the baby’s born.”
“All right. You can count on me to be at the wedding.”
“Thanks.”
“And, honey, I’m always here for you if you need to talk.”
Gavin hugged his mother. “I know.”
“I hope Dixie appreciates your integrity and all you’re willing to do for her.”
“She does.” Appreciation wasn’t the problem, but convincing Dixie to commit a hundred percent to their marriage was an obstacle he’d yet to overcome. Being away from Dixie this week had taught Gavin how much he needed her. With Dixie by his side, he could defeat the enemies who stalked him at night. Without Dixie...Gavin feared the worst—a life on the run and no relationship with his own child.
* * *
“JOHNNY,” DIXIE GASPED.
“Hey, sis, what’s up?”
Another sharp pain stabbed Dixie in the side and she broke out in a cold sweat. “Are you busy?”
“I’m on my way into Yuma to pick up a new pair of jeans. The back pocket ripped the other day and—”
“Meet me at the Yuma Regional Medical Center.”
“What happened?”
She gripped the clipboard in her hand until another pain passed. “It’s the baby.” Finished filling out the medical forms, Dixie stood. As soon as she took a step, a rush of warmth spread between her legs. Horrified, she glanced down. A dark stain spread across the crotch of her jeans. Feeling faint, she collapsed on the chair and the phone dropped into her lap.<
br />
The redheaded nurse behind the station desk summed up the situation and called for a wheelchair. An orderly appeared and they helped Dixie into the chair, then wheeled her into a curtained-off cubicle where the nurse assisted her in putting on a hospital gown. When Dixie caught sight of her bloody underwear tears filled her eyes.
“Hang on, dear.” The nurse helped her onto the hospital bed and stuffed a pad between her legs before picking up the phone and calling for a doctor. The nurse returned to Dixie’s side and took her vital signs. “How far along are you?”
“Fourteen weeks.”
The nurse patted Dixie’s hand. “The doctor will be here soon.”
“Am I losing the baby?”
“I don’t know, but we’ll do everything we can to help you.”
Left alone in the sterile room Dixie closed her eyes and prayed for her baby.
A few minutes later a middle-age man flung the curtain aside and stepped into the cubical. “I’m Dr. Davidson.” He scanned Dixie’s medical chart. “Did you fall or hurt yourself today?”
“No.” She hadn’t fallen. Hadn’t bumped into anything. “I began feeling sharp twinges this morning and they became worse after lunch.”
“What have you eaten today?”
“Toast, orange juice. A pickle and a tuna sandwich.”
“Let’s take a look at you.” The nurse rolled an ultrasound machine next to the bed and the doctor squirted cold jelly across Dixie’s stomach. She gave him credit for maintaining a poker face. The nurse watching the monitor wasn’t a good actress—she wouldn’t make eye contact with Dixie.
I’m losing the baby.
“I’m sorry. The placenta tore away from the uterine wall and the baby no longer has a heartbeat.” He squeezed Dixie’s arm gently. “Sometimes these things happen and there’s no explanation why.” He scribbled on the medical chart then asked, “This was your first pregnancy?”
Dixie nodded, still struggling to process the news that she’d lost the baby.
“You’ll be able to try for another baby as soon as your body has had time to heal.”
I won’t be able to try again—not with Gavin. Her throat thickened and she struggled to catch her breath.
“I’ll need to perform a D and C once you expel the fetus.” He looked at the nurse. “Call me when she’s ready.”
As soon as the doctor left the room the nurse started an IV and a few minutes later, Dixie felt contractions. Offering words of encouragement and sympathy, the nurse held her hand and it was over in twenty minutes. After administering a sedative, the doctor performed a D and C. Dixie had no idea how much time had passed when he peeled off his gloves, patted her shoulder and told her to follow up with her gynecologist as soon as possible. Then he was gone.
“Would you like to see your daughter?” the nurse whispered as if the baby were sleeping and not dead.
My daughter?
The nurse held a towel between her hands, and there in the middle of the cloth lay a teeny-tiny baby approximately four inches long. The most beautiful little being Dixie had ever seen.
“You can hold her,” the nurse said.
Tears blurred her vision as Dixie cradled the towel in her lap. Gently she brushed the tip of a finger over her daughter’s head. I love you, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. So sorry. Your daddy loves you, too. Dixie pressed the pad of her index finger against her daughter’s lifeless heart. Find Grandma Ada, sweetie. She’ll take care of you in Heaven and one day we’ll be together again. Dixie pressed a kiss to the baby’s face, then handed her back to the nurse.
“Have you picked a name?” The nurse’s eyes shone with unshed tears.
“Adelle. Addy for short. After her great-grandmother.”
“It’s a beautiful name.” The nurse gently placed the towel on the instrument tray. “We have a chaplain on duty.”
Dixie shook her head no.
“Would you prefer the hospital make arrangements for the baby or did you—”
“She’s going home with me.” Dixie would bury little Addy in the family plot next to her great-grandmother.
“Who should we call for you while you’re recovering?”
“My brother’s on his way.”
“Try to rest. Once the bleeding slows down and you feel well enough to stand and walk, you’ll be released. When your brother arrives I’ll send him in to sit with you.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m sorry you lost your little girl.” The nurse slid the curtain closed, allowing Dixie privacy to mourn.
Alone at last, tears leaked from her eyes, dribbled down her temples and pooled in her ears.
Gavin, where are you? I need you.
Dixie cried herself to sleep. When she woke all six of her brothers stood by her bedside. They might be the most bothersome, demanding, opinionated, bossy brothers a girl could have but they’d dropped whatever they’d been doing and had rushed to her side.
Johnny leaned down and hugged her. “I’m sorry, Dix.”
Throat aching she glanced at each brother through watery eyes. “Did the nurse tell you?”
“Tell us what?” Merle asked.
“The baby was a girl.”
Johnny cleared his throat. “She told us you wanted to take her home to bury her.”
“If we had a girl, Gavin and I had decided to name her Adelle. I want to bury her next to Grandma Ada.”
“That’s a good idea,” Porter said. “Grandma would be real honored you picked her name.”
“Have you told Gavin?” Conway asked.
Dixie shook her head. “I called a couple of times but his phone went straight to voice mail. I didn’t leave a message.” It didn’t seem right to tell Gavin she’d lost their baby in a voice message.
“We’ll track him down,” Johnny said.
She squeezed Johnny’s fingers. “Tell Gavin that I don’t want to see him.” What was the point? There was no baby so there would be no marriage.
“What about the wedding?” Merle asked.
“There isn’t going to be one.”
Her brothers frowned.
“What do you mean there won’t be a wedding?” Conway asked.
“Gavin’s off the hook.” Dixie grimaced at the sight of her soiled clothes resting on the chair. “I can’t wear my jeans.”
“The nurse left a pair of scrubs for you.” Johnny pointed to the outfit at the foot of the bed.
“Give me some privacy to dress. I want to go—” her voice broke “—home.” Dixie wished her grandmother waited for her at the farm—Grandma Ada always knew how to heal a hurting heart.
Chapter Thirteen
“Why the hell haven’t you been answering your cell, Tucker?”
Gavin held the phone away from his ear. The irate caller sounded like Dixie’s brother. “Johnny?”
“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you since Monday.”
“Sorry. My phone’s been turning off on its own. I need a new—”
“Never mind your phone. It’s Dixie.”
Fear shot through Gavin, leaving him cold. He’d left a voice mail on Dixie’s cell after the rodeo in Winslow on Sunday but she’d never returned his call. Figuring she’d been busy with the store or she’d gotten tired of him phoning, he’d backed off and hadn’t attempted to contact her the past two days. He wanted to surprise her and show up in person at the gift shop tomorrow. “What’s wrong, Johnny? Is she okay?”
“Dixie’s...fine. Get here as soon as you can.”
Gavin checked his mirrors, then pulled over to the side of the road and waited for three vehicles to pass. Coast clear, he made a U-turn and headed west on I-8. “I’m three hours away.”
“Drive safe.” Click.
Whatever was going o
n with Dixie must be serious if Johnny wouldn’t say over the phone.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
Maybe there’d been trouble at the gift shop. Had the place been robbed or vandalized? Or had Dixie changed her mind about the wedding—again. Was she back to wanting to marry after the baby’s birth in March or worse...wanted to cancel the wedding altogether.
What if it’s the baby?
As soon as the thought entered his mind, Gavin rejected it. Worrying wouldn’t get him to the farm any faster. He put the pedal to the metal and pushed the truck to eighty. He could afford a ticket on his untarnished driving record. Hoping to keep his thoughts from straying to Dixie he turned on the radio and listened to a sports talk show.
Gavin cruised through Stagecoach at 10:15 p.m. His stomach growled, but he ignored the hunger pangs as he zipped through town, which was dead on a Wednesday night. Only the bars remained open, their neon beer signs glowing in the windows.
Tonight the Arizona sky was darker than usual—not even the silhouette of the Gila Mountains was visible to the southwest. He slowed the truck as he approached the turnoff to the farm. When he pulled up to the farmhouse, lights blazed from the windows on both floors and the Cash brothers’ pickups were scattered about the yard. Gavin parked behind Merle’s truck and hurried to the house, taking the porch steps two at a time. He didn’t bother knocking. When he stepped into the kitchen he found Dixie’s siblings playing cards, Halloween candy substituting for poker chips.
Six somber faces stared at Gavin. He got the chills all over again.
Johnny stood. “Let’s talk in the living room.”
Gavin followed Dixie’s eldest brother down the hall and Johnny shut the French doors behind them.
“Where’s Dixie?” Gavin asked.
“Upstairs sleeping. I’d wake her but she’s had a rough time of it and needs her sleep.” The dull sheen in Johnny’s blue eyes socked Gavin in the gut.
“Why hasn’t Dixie been sleeping?”
“Look, Gavin. I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, but if it were left up to Dixie who knows when you’d find out.”
“Find out what?”
“She lost the baby on Monday.”