I don’t know what you mean.”
Of course you do, lady! He’s a good hombre and he can’t help it if he can’t see—”
What?”
He looked into her shocked face in the moonlight, realizing he had blurted out too much. Never mind.”
Tears came to her eyes and her mouth opened, then she swallowed hard. Keso, tell me!”
He had betrayed the trust of a man who had befriended him. I—I can’t. If he wanted you to know, I guess he would have already told you himself. Maybe he’s like me—proud. He don’t want your pity, miss.”
She took a deep breath, seemed to pull herself together. Never mind, Keso, you’ve told me what I needed to know.” Her expression betrayed that she cared as much about the big, rugged half-breed as he did. “I’m going to him.” She turned to leave, then turned back around. “If I need you, where can I find you?”
At the Elephant Corral—you know, where the Duchess keeps her horses and fancy carriage.”
Don’t you have any folks, anyone who cares about you?”
Just Cherokee,” he said, but that’s enough. The two of us are managin’ just fine without you.” He was sullen and resentful. If she and the man got together, Keso would be alone and not needed anymore.
I know you’re friends”—she patted his shoulder gently—but you needn’t be jealous of me, Keso. I think he may need more help than either of us realizes. I’ll look after Cherokee Evans from now on.”
As Keso watched, she turned and hurried away down the street toward the Essex Hotel.
Chapter Eighteen
Silver almost flew through the streets. Breathlessly, she paused before his hotel room and rapped.
Who is it?”
Silver.”
There was a long pause, and for a moment, she thought he would not come to the door. Finally, he opened it slowly. I—I wasn’t expecting you ... come in.”
She came into the room, which was still lit only by the fireplace, and realized now why he’d had no lamps burning the other night. To a blind man, it made no difference if it was light or dark, it was all the same. Cherokee, I came because I love you. I always loved you. Somehow, we’ll work this thing out together.”
He closed the door and turned toward her. I—I don’t know what you mean.”
Dearest, don’t lie to me. I love you anyway. If your handicap is all that’s keeping us apart . . .”
Oh my God,” he groaned. I never meant for you to find that out until—”
She put her fingers against his lips to hush him and went into his arms. He drew her to him, kissing her hair. Silver, there’s so many other things involved here, things that are so important—”
Don’t talk; just hold me. Is there anything more important than the fact that we love each other?”
He held her so tightly she could scarcely breathe. She lay her scarred face against his big chest, listening to his heart beat. He stroked her hair and she was content to stand, her arms wrapped around him. How they would manage financially, she didn’t know at the moment, nor what she would do about little Waanibe.
Sweet darlin’,” he whispered. I’ve waited so long and so many things have happened.”
None of it matters,” she said. It’s enough that you love me.”
His fingers moved over her face in the darkness, touching each feature. You will always be so very beautiful to me, even when you’re old. And the only mirrors you will ever need again is your reflection in my eyes.”
It’s so ironic,” she wept. All I ever thought of was my vanity and now you will never see me age, never see my beauty fade like the rose in the song.”
He was silent a long moment. What you never understood, sweet Silver, is that I wasn’t in love with your looks, I would have loved you no matter what. I’m in love with the you that’s deep inside.”
I love you, too.” She didn’t believe him; no one could really love her for herself. He loved her because, in his mind, she would always be the flawless beauty he rode away and left so many, many lifetimes ago.
He turned and felt his way to a chair, sat down. If you don’t mind, I’d just like to hold you awhile, feel your heart beating, your pulse against my lips.”
And she snuggled up in his lap, stifling an urge to weep because he was blind, because she was scarred. Life can be so unfair!”
That’s why we should take each moment as it comes,” he whispered and kissed her cheek, cuddling her in his strong arms. No one ever promised that life would be fair or even that we would have a tomorrow.”
Then make this a night to remember,” she breathed against his lips. He undid her hair and let it fall in a cascade of silken locks over them both. Then he kissed the hollow of her throat.
They sat a long time before the fire. It was enough somehow that they were finally together. They had both waited so very long.
Then gradually, his hands stroked her skin into fire so that his touch sent goosebumps rising along its surface. This time, eager for him, she unbuttoned her own bodice and his shirt, and pressed her naked breasts against his brawny chest, her nipples against his until the tips swelled with the desire.
Kiss me,” he demanded. Kiss me like you want me!”
She had never been the aggressor before but she was eager for him and she reached up to cover his mouth, pushing her tongue inside, probing the hot wetness, nibbling at his lips. Beneath her, she felt his manhood hard and throbbing. Her own ardor increased as she bent her head to suck and tease his nipples until he gasped and held her mouth against him. He trembled now, his hands pulling at her skirt and now under her lace pantalets, stroking her.
She slid off the chair, onto her knees, and bent her head to kiss his manhood. She kissed it gently, lovingly, and then she stood up, slipped out of her lace pantalets, and slowly straddled him. For a moment, she thought of heathen idols in temples, great stone male gods where women offered themselves up to sacrifice. She came down on him slowly, taking him within her so deep, it seemed he actually pushed against her womb. His head fell back and he reached out and caught her breasts in his two hands and began to move her up and down on him.
Never had she felt so aroused. His calloused palms brushed against her nipples as he held her breasts. She increased her own desire, rising up, then grinding down on his pulsating manhood. Stroking his nipples as she straddled him, she turned her face up to his. His mouth came down on hers, forcing her lips apart, sucking her tongue deep into his mouth.
They clung together as she rode him—harder, faster, deeper. She felt him strain inside her and came down one more time hard and grinding on his body so that he seemed to explode within her, filling her womb with his virile seed. She had never wanted anything as much as she wanted to erase the hurt he had suffered. Then her own body began its spasms of pleasure, and together they came hard and deep, making her weep in his arms.
He held her close, and kissed her face. Why do you cry? Did I do something wrong?”
No, dearest, women cry when they make love and it’s good. And this was good, so good . . .”
I love you, sweet,” he whispered and picked her up as he stood, carrying her to the bed a few feet away. You know what I’d like to see, Silver? You dancing naked just for me, clad only in your long blond hair and silver shoes.”
He would never again actually see her with his eyes, she thought. He would have to see her with his hands, his body, his lips. At that moment, she would have accepted twice as many scars if she could have worked out a deal with God to give Cherokee back his sight.
Cherokee held her close, wondering how much to tell her. He had almost told her of the doctor’s predictions that his sight might return. Then she had put her finger against his lips and he grew cautious. Suppose he raised her hopes that he might be able to see again someday and then it never happened? Suppose it never improved enough so that he could hunt, or chop wood, or do anything that a man needed to be able to do around a homestead? Better he should wait.
But
there was one thing they must discuss. Silver,” he whispered, sweet darlin’, there’s something I want to ask about Jake Dallinger.”
He felt her stiffen in his arms. What about him?”
Is he a partner in the Palace?”
Maybe. He had all that gold in the little beaded bags.” She sounded nervous.
By damn! That money came from old Willie and Bill. Someone killed them with a whip and took their stash.”
She made a choking noise in her throat. Oh Cherokee, it’s in the safe at the Palace! I had no idea—”
I didn’t think you did,” he whispered and a tremendous relief swept over him. That’s the final proof then that he killed them. First I owe them justice. And that gold is now rightfully mine. We’ll need it when we marry.”
Marry? Are you asking me to marry you?” He heard both the relief and disbelief in her voice.
Of course! You think I don’t want to give my child my name? She deserves at least that much.”
Child? Let me get this straight.” She sat up in bed. You’re only asking me to marry you to give Waanibe a name?”
No, that’s not the only reason,” he said. I love you.”
No, I don’t think you do—not really.” She began to laugh, a strange kind of laugh. You’re just trying to do the ‘decent’ thing by me. Wannie’s not yours—or mine either. Is that what you thought?”
But someone said she was the owner’s daughter—”
So she is, by a Cheyenne brave, or so the Duchess says.
The Duchess?” There was another long pause. Silver, don’t you own the Palace?”
She lay on her back and he leaned over her. Is that what you thought? Cherokee, I only work there.”
He heaved a sigh of relief, but said nothing. The woman he loved wasn’t mixed up with Jake, and wasn’t wealthy anymore. He did feel a hint of sadness that the child was not theirs. He had already been picturing them as a family.
I shouldn’t have mentioned marriage,” he said, thinking that if his sight didn’t return, he didn’t intend to burden Silver with a blind man; it wasn’t fair. And he still had the problem of Jake Dallinger. He couldn’t pull Silver into that; the man was too ruthless.
I understand,” she said slowly. You thought I was mixed up with Dallinger?”
No, I knew you could never be.” He kissed her face. I just jumped to conclusions when I heard he was somehow involved with the Palace.”
Why don’t you bring the law in on this?”
I’m not sure anyone would believe me. I have to think about a plan.”
Of course.” Her voice sounded cool and distant. No, he couldn’t make personal commitments now. He shouldn’t have blurted that out about marriage. She might feel pity enough to marry him, but he wouldn’t be a burden to the beauty. There had always been men aplenty who wanted her. He wouldn’t saddle her with the responsibility of a blind man, or at least one who could barely tell daylight from darkness.
I love you,” he whispered and snugled her down in his arms. Finally they both dropped off to sleep.
When he awakened, he knew immediately it was past dawn, and then he almost shouted, for the reason he knew this was because he could see the morning shadows that the sun threw against his wall.
He could see! Not perfectly yet, but much better than yesterday. Maybe the doctor had been right. Hope rose in Cherokee’s heart. Maybe there was a chance for happiness between Silver and himself. Maybe ...
He felt her asleep in his arms and looked down to kiss her. He stared at the drab hair, wondering what she had done to it, and then his gaze went to her face.
For a moment, he stared, unbelieving. She was still pretty, but her flawless face had a few small scars. When he pulled the sheet down, he saw that scars marked her ripe body, too. He knew now what it was that Doc had been trying to tell him and had hesitated about. Smallpox. Of course his brave love had tried to help and had come down with the dread disease herself.
He wanted to gather her into his arms, kiss her awake, tell her it didn’t matter, that he would always love her. Then he recalled her remarks about his not being able to see her fade like an aging rose. She had only come into his life again because she thought he would never see her destroyed beauty. If she knew his sight was returning, that he could see her scars, would she run away from him forever, unwilling to believe that he loved her still? He might lose her.
He would rather lose his sight than the woman he loved. For a long moment, he held her close and almost wished he were truly and forever blind. What to do now?
Silver stirred and sat up. Quickly, Cherokee closed his eyes.
Dearest,” she whispered and kissed him. It’s morning.”
Is it?” He didn’t look at her.
I’ll be your eyes from now on,” she whispered, and hugged him to her. But right now, I have to go.”
He needed time to think. Cherokee forced himself to stare blankly past her shoulder. If you have to, run along. Keso will come after a while to help me.”
She got up, dressed, and put her hair in a bun while he watched her, pretending that he saw nothing at all.
Silver said, Your stolen gold is in the Duchess’s safe. I’ll try to think of a way to get it for you.” She paused as she put on her cloak and reached in the pocket for her spectacles. As for Jake himself, give up the idea of justice. In your condition, there’s nothing you can really do.”
Not without letting you find out I’m not blind, he thought. I reckon not,” he said, torn with indecision.
Silver kissed him again and went out. After he heard her footsteps fading down the hall, he got up and dressed. His sight was still a long way from perfect, but it was much improved. He began to hope the doctor had been right and that, finally, it might get back to normal.
Which meant he could deal with Jake. But not without Silver realizing he could see. His honor demanded he mete out justice to his old partners’ killer. But if he did so, he would certainly lose the woman he loved because of her vain fears. Honor versus love. By damn! What was the right choice?
Cherokee poured some water in the wash bowl and stared at himself in the little cracked mirror hanging on the faded wall. He decided then he would do anything to keep Silver—anything. Even if it meant that Jake got off scot-free and Cherokee had to pretend to be blind for the rest of his life. That didn’t sound too practical, and besides, what would he and Silver live on? He wanted to get her out of the Palace, no matter what she was doing there.
A rap at the door. He hesitated a long moment. Everyone in town thought he was blind. There might be an advantage in keeping the masquerade up—besides his fear that Silver would find out. Come in.”
Keso entered. Boss, it’s me.” Even though his sight was far from perfect, Cherokee was struck at how thin and ragged the Indian boy looked. Evidently he needed the money Cherokee had been giving him more than Cherokee realized. That aided him in making his decision to keep his secret, at least temporarily.
Keso, tell me about some of the other people around the Palace.”
The boy shrugged. You mean the whores and card sharps?”
Surely Silver wasn’t working as a whore. Is there anyone else there?”
Sure, there’s a governess.”
A governess?”
Sure, boss. She looks after the Duchess’s kid. Wouldn’t be bad lookin’ if she did something about her hair and clothes. She’s got a few little scars on her face.”
So that was what Silver was doing at the Palace.
The boy leaned against the door. Anything else, boss?”
Yes, Keso, today I only want you to take me to one place.” He paused and realized how thin the boy was. I mean, after I buy the two of us breakfast.”
He watched the boy’s face light up. Sure! You suppose this could become a permanent job?”
He didn’t know what to say. I don’t know how long I can afford to pay you, Keso. I’m running low on money.”
He tried to keep his expression frozen, pre
tending he did not see the disappointment in the handsome brown face. I understand.”
If I had a home, some money, and a wife, I’d adopt you, Cherokee thought. Keso Evans. And then he knew that in his present predicament, nothing could work out happily for anyone. The game of life wasn’t always fair. You took the hand you were dealt and played it, with no whining that someone else got better cards.
He managed to dress himself and let Keso lead him to the café. Keso,” he said, if you’re Cheyenne, why don’t you go back to them?”
The boy shrugged. I don’t know how to find them. I recollect that it was because of me my mother fled them.” He frowned. Don’t remember much, but somehow I don’t think the Cheyenne want me.”
Why wouldn’t they want one of their own? Cherokee thought about it as they ate. It was indeed a puzzle. If he ever saw Iron Knife again, he’d have to ask him. And now,” he said as he pushed his plate back, I want you to take me to visit Todd Shaw at the newspaper.”
The boy grinned, showing even, white teeth. Sure, Cherokee. And then if you don’t need me, I’ll try shining a few shoes today. Sounds like we both need the money.”
Cherokee flinched. If you think I’m going to live off you . . .”
I like you, boss,” Keso said softly. You’re about the only person besides my mama who’s ever treated me decent. When you run out of money, maybe I can help you.”
What could he say without revealing his secret to the boy? Thanks, Keso, I’m much obliged that you’d do that for me.”
They went to Shaw’s office and there Keso left him, promising to return in an hour.
Cherokee sat across from Todd Shaw and looked him over. He was a handsome brown-haired man in his middle or late twenties with honest, hazel eyes and an open, friendly manner. Everything about him told Cherokee here was a man born to wealth and privilege. I wanted to talk to you about a few things, Shaw. I liked the way you stood up to that mob out on the street.”
Todd shrugged. I like to think of myself as the conscience of this town. My boss may sometimes be swept away by popular sentiment, but I try to keep us on an even course between that and what I perceive as what’s morally right.”
Quicksilver Passion Page 29