by Vella, Wendy
“Sit down, Isabella.” Luke walked back into the room with a tray in his hands which he placed on the table beside her.
“My sister—”
“Will be all right for a few more minutes.” He lowered her back into the chair, and then braced his hands on the arm of the chair and his face was suddenly inches from hers. Big and dominating, yet she wasn’t scared. How could she be when she knew what this man was? His kindness, the gentle man he had often shown her.
“You asked me to do something for you, now I’m returning the request with one of my own. Eat and rest for a few minutes then I will let you go back into that room. Livvy needs you to be strong now, not collapse at her bedside.”
Looking into his lovely, blue eyes she felt herself yield. He was right, of course, but worry was making her unreasonable and emotional. Neither of which were healthy emotions to have when he was close.
“Go now, Luke. I promise to eat.” Bella needed him to leave her, before she did something foolish like touch him. “Please go.” But as she said the words, her fingers were suddenly there on his face, tracing the curve of his chin. “You’re cold.” It was a silly thing to say but Bella could think of no other as she lowered her hand once again to her lap.
“Its winter,” he said with a gentle smile. And then it was gone, and his lips were on hers. She cupped his cheeks as his lips placed soft kisses on hers. Achingly sweet, Bella wanted to stand and have him hold her; feel his hard body around hers. She wanted it so badly her legs started to rise.
“No, sweetheart.” The rasp of his words told her the kiss had affected him. “Eat now. You’ll need your strength.”
She nodded, and he rose to move to the door, where he then leaned against the wall as if to guard her from anyone else attempting to enter the room while she ate.
“I was there when my brothers and sister were born, Bella, and through each birth I wondered how my mother would survive, and each time she did.”
Bella picked up the scone slathered in jam and began to eat as he spoke.
“Were you scared?”
He nodded. “She promised me the first time, when I stood at her bedside terrified that I would lose her, that this is the natural process and it has been happening to women for more years than she or I could count. She said that although there is pain, there is also joy at the end, and it is that she remembers most.”
“I feel so helpless in there with Livvy, Luke. I can do nothing to take away her pain.”
“Being there with her, comforting her, that is what she needs from you.”
“Will you eat something?” Bella questioned him when she picked up her teacup.
“I have just eaten.”
“I-I won’t apologize for what happened while I was skating.” Bella needed to say the words.
“And I won’t apologize for that kiss…or the other one.”
“I don’t want an apology for the kisses.” Bella held her breath as she looked at him, saw the fire in his eyes. “I-I wanted them as much as you.”
“Bella.” Her name sounded like a plea on his lips, but he said nothing further.
She dropped her eyes and finished her meal; only then, when she had herself composed once more, did she rise.
“I shall go back to Livvy now.”
“And I shall be here if you need me.”
She stopped beside where he leaned on the wall, watching her.
“I don’t know what will happen in London, or what our future holds, yet I do know that I have much to thank you for, especially given what my father asked of you.”
“You have no need to thank me for anything.”
“I was angry when you told me of the letter but now I realize the sacrifices you have made for me, Luke.”
“It was never a sacrifice, Bella.”
“Th-thank you.”
“Go now.” He touched her cheek again and then opened the door for her to pass through and suddenly London did not appear such a treat, nor something she had always longed for. What she longed for was Luke Fletcher and the wonderful feelings he produced inside her.
***
“So we have Lord Ryder, and Jenny, who has one child, and Esmay who has eight. Plus Miss Isabella, who is still a child herself?”
“I’m not a child, Doctor Brown,” Bella protested from her position behind them at the rear, where the woman had relegated her.
“Compared to the rest of the people in this room, you are,” Esmay Fletcher said, moving towards the wash bowl to wring out a cloth to wash Livvy’s sweaty face with.
Bella shot a look at Livvy, but she had not heard as another pain was gripping her.
“I am not a child, Mrs. Fletcher, nor am I leaving,” she said, pointing to Livvy, “My sister was there for me through some of the darkest hours of my life and I will not leave her when she is suffering, no matter what you believe or feel about me.”
Luke’s mother looked at her for several seconds and then nodded. “It’s admirable of you to want to be here. I’m sure there aren’t many your age who would.”
“My sisters and I are very close.”
“Did Luke tell you he bought us a new house, and that we are to move in this week?”
Surprised that the woman was confiding in her, Bella shook her head.
“Tis true he tricked me into visiting it. Told us we were going for a walk and we ended up at the new house. I knew, of course, that something was about, but I followed along, and then once I was inside he convinced me to live there.”
Bella knew he could be persuasive. “And is it lovely?”
Esmay’s eyes lit as she smiled.
“It is, Miss Isabella, very lovely. And he has repaired and painted it, and filled it with lovely things. I’m fearful of what people will say when they know I have moved there.”
The worry was real, and Bella patted her hand. Luke got his pride from his mother.
“Mrs. Fletcher, everyone who knows you well, knows what an honest and hardworking person you are, no one will say anything, and most will be pleased for you. If by chance anyone does, then surely they are not worth your time.”
She was subjected to a look like her son’s.
“My son thinks highly of you, and now I can see why.”
Nothing more was said as Livvy drew their attention once more.
The pains started to increase steadily over the next hour until Will had nearly bitten right through his lip with worry. The doctor, Esmay and Jenny tried to urge Will and Bella from the room, but they refused. Finally, when Bella had begun to despair that the baby would ever be born, Master Henry Ryder made an appearance. He looked like a prune and was the color of two-day-old porridge, and was the most beautiful baby Bella had ever seen.
“Never get tired of this part,” Doctor Brown said, taking the baby and wrapping him in a soft blanket before handing him to Livvy.
Bella hadn’t realized she was crying until Esmay Fletcher held her in her strong arms. “I still cried with my eighth,” she said, and together Bella and Esmay watched Will and Livvy look down at their beautiful boy.
Phoebe arrived minutes later with Finn and, to Bella’s surprise, Luke. She wasn’t surprised that Will had asked for him as she knew the bond they shared; she was surprised he had come.
Will held the baby and Luke approached slowly, a gentle smile on his face.
“My boy loves babies. He helped me bring some of mine into the world and he’s always been a better father to them than their own was.”
Esmay was watching Luke, as Bella was, her words soft so he couldn’t hear them.
“I never realized, but of course he must be good with so many siblings.”
Will handed little Henry to him and Luke took the precious bundle without hesitation, fitting him into the crook of his arm as he slowly rocked backwards and forwards.
Bella watched him stroke a finger down Henry’s cheek, and thought that perhaps one day, the child whose cheek he stroked would be theirs. His eyes met hers then, and s
he knew he saw her thoughts clearly because they matched his own.
“Where are you going, Bella?”
She hadn’t even realized her feet had carried her towards the door until Phoebe spoke.
“I need to wash, Phoebe. It has been so long. I shall return soon, I promise.”
Bella smiled to the room at large and left. When she reached hers, she washed and pulled on boots and a heavy coat and left the house. Her leg was stiff after so long in the room and she needed some time alone to clear her head. Walking into the cool evening air, she hoped that the exercise would help erase the last of the tension inside her, help erase the longing that still gripped her after seeing Luke holding Henry.
***
Luke walked slowly toward the stables. He was happy for Livvy and Will. The baby was sweet and they, and the rest of the family, would smother it with love.
Bella had looked exhausted when he walked in. Dark shadows under her eyes, hair a mess, yet she was still beautiful to him. He’d seen the look in her eyes as he’d held Henry too, because he’d felt it also, felt the need to hold his own child, the one they created.
The problem was that before he had kissed her and felt her soft curves pressed against his body, he had only imaged what she felt like. His love for her had been pure and sweet, and left him with an ache in his chest. He’d wanted to protect the wounded girl she had been, but now—now he wanted her beneath him. He wanted to kiss every inch of her body. He dreamt of making love to her, learning the things that made her sigh. His need for her had changed with that one kiss, from sweet to all encompassing need.
“Luke?”
Luke looked over his shoulder to watch one of Will’s maids approach. Not wanting her to see what thoughts of Bella had done to him, he kept walking into one of the stable. “What can I do for you, Stella?”
“You’ve a fine look about you this evening, Luke Fletcher,” she said, slipping into the stables behind him.”
He turned so quickly he stumbled back against the wall, and then she was there before him.
“I’ve admired you for a long time.” She accompanied these words by running her hands over his body.
“Stella, what are you—”
When she touched him through his breeches the breath hissed from his throat.
“I hope this is for me,” she purred.
“My mother is in that house, I have no wish for her to find me here, with you, Stella,” he said quickly, grabbing her wrist and pushing her away.
“She won’t come out here. They’re too busy cooing over the baby.”
Before he could stop her, she’d pulled her dress and chemise over her head, leaving her naked. Most men would love her breasts; they were big and full, the nipples ripe, but all he could think about was Bella’s breasts. Hers would be perfect, the exact fit of his hand.
“There’s plenty that fancy you, Luke Fletcher, but it’s me who gets you.”
Her hands fisted in his hair and pulled his head down for a kiss. He should do this, take her now and slake the lust inside him, Luke thought, pulling back to suck in a deep breath. Lifting one hand, he held it before him to ward her off, but she simply stepped into him and pressed one of her breasts into his exposed palm. Instinctively, his fingers closed and she moaned loudly.
“Pride won’t ease the tension in you, Luke, but I can.”
The loud crash somewhere outside the stable startled him away from her.
“Someone’s there. Get your clothes on.” Moving her to one side, Luke made his way out of the stable. Looking to the doors, he saw Bella running through them. Ice filled his veins at what she had seen. He caught her as she reached the front door, wrapping his fingers around her wrist to make her stop.
“Bella, what you saw was Stella throwing herself at me, not the opposite.”
“I know what you say is true. I heard the conversation you had with her.”
She wouldn’t look at him and he guessed that for an innocent, seeing what she had, had shocked her.
“But it upset you to hear it, to see her with me?”
She turned then and he saw her distress. “I know my words are foolish and speak of my naivete, yet I had hoped never to see you with another woman.”
“I’m sorry you saw what you did, Bella.”
“Have there been other women you cared for Luke?”
How did he answer that question when the woman before him understood nothing of how men moved through the world? That they could take a woman to bed and walk away unscathed both physically and emotionally, but that a women’s reputation was easily tarnished.
“I am not innocent, if that is what you are asking me.”
“But you cared for none of them?”
“It is different for men than women, Bella.”
She studied him before saying, “I am not a fool, Luke. I understand that a woman must guard her reputation when a man often does not have to, but after what we have shared and what you made me feel...” She struggled to find the words.
“Passion, Bella. What we share is passion and its strength comes from the feelings we hold for each other.”
“Yes, and because of it and the small amount of time I have spent in your arms, I struggle to understand how you can feel nothing for a woman who you have shared so much more with.”
“I cared for none of them as I do you and that is the truth. If that makes me callous in your eyes I apologize, but I will never lie to you about this.” Would she turn away hearing him say such a thing? Would she think it wrong of him to have taken women to bed with no feelings involved?
She blew out a breath, the sound loud in the still evening air. “I understand my questions are naive and based on my lack of knowledge of such things, Luke, and I am grateful that you are honest with me.”
He cupped her cheek, running his thumb over the soft skin. “How does it feel to be an aunt?” He wanted to see her smile before she left him.
“It feels wonderful.”
“And now, Auntie Bella, you must walk through that door before I forget my good intentions not to kiss you again.”
She lifted a hand to cup his cheek as he was hers.
“I almost wish you had not kissed me, Luke, as then I would not know what there was between us.”
He ran his thumb over her lips, then reached around her and opened the door, gently urging her through, before shutting it behind her.
Making his way back to the stables, he wondered if she really did understand what he had told her. Walking to where Stella still stood, he pushed aside the hand that reached for him.
“I have no wish for your company, Stella. Go back to the house.”
She didn’t like his words and stormed out of the stables minutes later, throwing a final glare over his shoulder before leaving.
Picking up a brush, he began to groom the horses. Maybe after an hour of hard labor his body may have cooled down.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Bella walked downstairs the following morning, determined to put Luke from her thoughts. She hadn’t slept, constantly seeing his hand on Stella’s breast, and the site of her naked body pressed into his. She felt foolish because she had never once given thought to him with another woman. Even though she knew there was nothing between him and Stella, there had been others; he’d told her so.
“You are a fool, Isabella Langley,” she muttered, pushing open the breakfast parlor door.
“Is that a frown because you’re tired or because you’re angry?”
“The first,” Bella knew the smile she gave Phoebe was more a snarl, but she didn’t care overly. Sisters put up with each other no matter their moods; it was just the way of things. Making her way to where the covered dishes sat. Strangely, even though she had a disturbed sleep with dreams of Luke touching her breast, she was still hungry.
“I feel like a whale today.”
A wise person would do well to leave that comment alone, Bella thought after she’d filled her plate.
“You do look
a trifle bloated.” Bella seated herself as Phoebe uttered a shriek. She did not feel wise today.
“Bloated! I do not look bloated.”
“You just said you look like a whale.” Bella felt her grumpy mood ease as she teased Phoebe. She was a small-minded person to enjoy her sister’s outrage.
“Your fingers look a trifle puffy, too.” Filling her tea, Bella looked at Phoebe. As usual, she looked beautiful. In fact, if she thought back, she had never seen Phoebe ugly, which just wasn’t right, when most women looked ugly at least once in their lives.
“Bella says I look bloated, Finn. I want you to discipline her at once!”
Finn gave his wife a loving smile then bared his teeth at Bella. “You behave yourself, you little fiend.” This dire scalding was followed up with a kiss on the top of Bella’s head.
Phoebe looked outraged that her beloved had not done as she asked and then followed her glare up with a loud sigh. “Do you know, I don’t think I’m one of those women who like being with child.”
“We are aghast with surprise, of course,” Finn drawled, making his way to her side with a plate so full of food Bella actually had to blink and then look again.
“Make fun of me at your peril,” Phoebe said, taking a slice of ham off his plate and putting it into her mouth.
Bella studied her sister as she nibbled the ham. Of course she didn’t look like a whale. Her skin had a healthy glow, and her hair seemed to have more luster. Her eyes sparkled, and she looked, if possible, more beautiful than she usually did. Dressed in deep rust, the color should have been too much on her rounded figure, but instead enhanced her beauty. Livvy and Bella had often commented that if she didn’t have so many character flaws, she would be unbearable to have as a sister.
“Would you like to come with me to the stables, Phoebe? You can stand by the railing and yell orders at me as Moses gives me my first lesson. After all, it has been many years since I sat a horse, so that should provide you with some amusement.”