by Vella, Wendy
“Bella, did I hurt you?” He rolled to the side, his breathing harsh, and Bella immediately missed his weight.
“No,” she replied. Turning to her side, she looked at him, the sweep of his lashes on his cheeks, the chest that rose and fell as he breathed. The most beautiful man she had ever known.
“Will you tell me what is wrong, Luke?”
“I cannot.”
“And this is what keeps us apart?”
“I-I may have to go away, Bella. Leave London.”
His body had tensed as he spoke.
“For how long?”
“I don’t know, but it may be for some time.”
“I will wait.”
“I cannot ask that of you.”
She turned to face him. “What are you saying?”
“Something has happened, and I cannot be with you or the family for a while, until it is sorted out.”
“I will never love another, nor marry another if I cannot have you.”
The devastation on his face made her hold him tight. She stroked his hair until she felt his body begin to relax.
“Sleep now, my love, and know I have you.” This time, it was she who protected him, and she who held him when he needed it. Slowly, she felt his body go soft and, finally, his breathing became deep and even as he slipped into slumber.
Bella rose a while later and took a last look at him. Blowing him a kiss, she then left and walked out of his house knowing that she had to do something for him, but to do that she would have to enlist the help of the one man who cared for him almost as much as she.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Luke woke with a start. Sitting upright, he looked to the empty space beside him, and then to the window. The sun was high, telling him he had been asleep for some time. His body chilled as he realized that Bella had left him to find her own way home. Dear Christ, had she found a hackney? Or had she found danger?
Pulling his breeches on, he reached for his shirt and then ran down the stairs. Wrenching open the front door he found Will on his front step.
“I want to talk to you about Bella.”
“Is she—?”
“Healthy, as of thirty minutes ago when she left my office.”
Relief nearly dropped Luke to his knees. “What about her?”
“Let me in and I’ll tell you.”
Stepping to one side, he followed Will into his parlor that had no furniture, so the men were forced to stand.
“She came to my office this morning early, to tell me that it was you she loved and only you she would marry.”
Luke couldn’t stop the feeling of relief that swept through him. He could not have her; his life was a mess, but knowing she still wanted him made him sag against the wall.
“She said she believes you are in some kind of trouble and that you are contemplating leaving London because of it.”
“No, that is not the case,” Luke lied. He did not want Will involved in this, whatever it was. He would be in danger also, and then there was Livvy and Henry. No, he could not allow harm to come to any of them.
“Then she lied to me?” Will stood still, hands clasped in front of him, legs braced. He was angry; Luke had known him long enough to see the signs.
“Leave it, Will.”
“I will not bloody leave it! You have been avoiding me and the family, just as you have her. What the hell is going on?”
Luke felt frustration boil up inside him at Will’s words. He couldn’t tell him the truth so he tried to push him away instead. “I don’t account to you for my actions, Ryder.”
“You are supposedly my man of affairs, yet I have seen nothing of you in weeks. No word, or note, you simply disappeared. What the hell am I supposed to think?”
“That I am busy becoming my own person, doing what you have prodded and pushed me to do for years.” Luke stalked round the room, moving from side to side, while Will stood in the same spot.
“And you could not have come to me with this knowledge, asked me for advice and help?”
He had hurt him, his oldest and dearest friend, the one man he respected above all others.
“I did not need it.” Luke knew how much his words would hurt Will, but he said them anyway. He needed to push him away, if only for a while, because unlike Bella who had no knowledge of the business world, Will did. And if he heard the rumors about him, which he probably soon would, then he would do everything in his power to find the culprit and clear Luke’s name, and he could not allow that; it was too dangerous.
“Why are you pushing us away from you? What has happened? I know you well enough to know your actions are as a result of something threatening you.”
“For the love of God, Ryder, I am not a child. I no longer need you to hold my hand. And as for Bella, I-I do not know that my love for her is as strong as it once was.”
“You lie.” The words were cold.
“I do not.” Luke tried to stay calm, tried to say the words in a voice that was cold and unemotional. Will would never believe him otherwise.
“You do, and for reasons you choose to keep hidden from me, supposedly your best friend.”
The pain inside him was so fierce that he wanted to drop to his knees, but Luke held himself upright, keeping his eyes steady on the man before him.
“You are one of the strongest, most intelligent men I know, Luke Fletcher, and I have always believed that you and Bella were made for each other. She has suffered and risen above that suffering; she has made herself stronger and has entered society when there were those who believed she would not, and you have stood at my side through more than most men could handle, and become a man I respect above all others.”
“Is there a point to this conversation?” Luke folded his arms in an attempt to look bored.
“I don’t know what is driving you to behave this way, Fletcher, but know this: I will not stand around and watch the man I respect battle his demons alone. I will give you a day, Luke, one day and then you will tell me what is behind your behavior. Until then, I bid you good day.”
“I have no wish to meet with you tomorrow.”
“You are behaving like a fool, Fletcher.” Anger darkened the gray eyes of William Ryder.
“Get out of my house, Ryder!” Luke roared, needing to get Will out of his house before he broke down and confessed his troubles. “Go back to your pampered life and leave me alone. I want nothing more to do with any of you.”
Luke lowered his eyes at the look of hurt in Will’s.
“If that is truly your wish, then I will.”
In seconds he was gone, the door closing softly behind him. Luke stared at it, stunned at what he had done. He’d pushed away the one man who understood him, the man who meant more to him than any other. Suddenly, the walls of his house closed in around him and he had to get outside. Running upstairs he found a jacket and shoved his arms into it, then ran back down and out the door, slamming it behind him.
He walked for hours, unaware of what direction he took, only that he needed to keep moving. He heard Bella in his head and then Will. The two people he cared for and respected most. Doing what he had was the only way he knew how to keep them safe, he understood that, but it hurt to think he would see them no more, hurt worse than any pain he had suffered before.
He found himself in the Rookeries of St. Giles as darkness fell. No one approached him, and Luke guessed that was due to the dangerous look on his face.
“Looking for a flutter?’
The man who approached him looked like he’d crawled straight from the gutter but Luke didn’t care. His heart hurt and his body felt numb. Nodding, he then turned and followed the man down into the bowels of hell.
***
“Have you found him?” Bella stood in front of Will’s desk, her hands braced on the wood as she looked down into the tired and worried face of her brother-in-law.
“I have not. He has vanished.”
She felt ill; her insides hurt, and her head ached. Since the d
ay Will had returned angry and hurting, Luke had disappeared without a word.
“I should not have spoken to him as I did. I knew something was wrong, and that he was lashing out at me because of it, yet I let him anger me.” Will ran a hand over his face, worry etched in every line.
“Have you found out anything?” Bella pulled her chair closer and rested her head in her hands. She was exhausted; she couldn’t sleep or eat. She sighed as Will’s hand rested on her head. He always did this to comfort people and the weight and warmth was wonderful, even it if did not reach the cold places inside her.
“He is under attack. I found Dillinger, and we talked. He told me someone tried to run Luke down in a carriage.”
“I saw that happen, Will.” Lifting her head, she looked at him. “I was there, and he told me it was an accident, but at the time I remember thinking it was deliberate.”
“Dillinger has uncovered another attack, and that happened the night before I went to visit Luke.”
The night she had gone to him and they had made love.
“Supposedly, every investment he’s attempted to make has been blocked by whispers of bad dealings and reneging on promises. Someone has deliberately set out to sully his name.” Will snapped out the last word, his anger tangible in the small room.
“But why? And where has he gone?” Desperation made her words loud. She wouldn’t cry because had done enough of that over the last few nights to soak her pillows before she fell asleep.
“I don’t know, but I will.” Bella saw the look in his eyes and thought that whoever had dared to hurt Luke was going to be in trouble when Will caught them.
“Now I have to go out and meet with some men, and I believe my sister has arrived.”
“Hello, brother, Bella.” Thea walked into the room, with Eddie on her heels. “Shall we take this creature to the park?”
She was about to refuse when Will rounded his desk and lifted her out of the seat. “You will go and it will make you feel better,” he said, giving her a hug. “I will find him and we will sort this mess, I promise.” She nodded, and then Will kissed Thea and left the room.
Collecting her things, Bella joined Thea and hoped that Will had some success, because if he did not then she would be forced to start looking for Luke herself.
***
Luke drank heavily, and won money steadily for three days. Even when he could barely see the cards before him he still won, such was the way his mind worked. He would stagger outside in the early hours of the morning, hail a hackney and fall into bed to sleep for a few hours and then rise to do the same thing all over again. When he started to sober up he saw them, Will and Bella, and he could not bear the pain so he drank again. They were right; he was a coward, and he had no right to either of them in his life.
If he continued to drink and gamble his mind didn’t see Bella. He couldn’t feel her soft, warm skin pressed against his. He couldn’t bring her soft cries into his head as he entered her. He couldn’t recall the taste of her breasts as he brushed kisses over them. He constantly saw the look on Will’s face, too, that moment when he had told him to leave. The hurt and anger.
“You’re cheating.”
Luke raised his head and tried to focus on the big man behind him. Blinking a few times, he looked again.
“Wh-what?
“I won’t have cheating here.”
“I’m not sh-sheating,” Luke said, staggering to his feet. “He ish.” he then pointed to the man seated across from him, “but I’m not.” Luke thumped his chest and stumbled backwards, upsetting the table.
“Take him outside and see he don’t come back.”
Luke tried to push of the two men who grabbed him, but he was too drunk and soon found himself outside.
The fist came before he even knew what was happening, and his reflexes were too slow to do much more than swing his arms wildly. They set about him good and proper and it was as he fell to his knees that he wondered if this was it. He had failed Will, Bella and Rosie. They would know he had given up, lost his way, and died here in this dirty squalor.
“It would not pay you to touch him again.”
Luke heard the deep voice as he closed his eyes and gave up the fight.
“It’s Ace!”
Luke heard nothing further as he fell, face first onto the filthy ground.
His body was one big ache. Every time he roused, it was to have something foul tasting stuffed down his throat and then he slept again. He thought he heard Will’s voice and maybe Finn’s? But then why would they be here? Hadn’t he sent Will away? The pain that accompanied that thought was as fresh and raw as it was days ago, as was the vision of Bella that came into his head and he was glad to once again slip into oblivion and leave them behind.
When he finally found the strength to open his eyes, he looked around the darkened room. Was it night or day? Easing himself upright, he sat on the bed and took stock of his injuries. He could find nothing broken, but he ached all over. Pushing himself off the bed, he stood and sucked in a breath as the pain hit him. Taking a few minutes to steady himself, he walked to the window and drew the curtains. Night was just beginning to fall and he was in London somewhere.
He found a robe on a chair and pulled it on, securing the belt. Opening the door, he then walked down the hallway. It was lavishly decorated and his confusion grew as he failed to recognize any of the furnishings. If not Finn’s or Will’s, then whose?
Will. The thought of his friend brought a fierce pain to his chest. And what of Bella? He felt the pain deepen. He had slept and these thoughts had been held at bay, but now he was again awake they pierced him the accuracy of a lance. What day was it? Had he been here for days or hours?
Grabbing the bannister, he made his way down the stairs; at the bottom he heard a rumble of voices and headed towards the noise. He was hardly dressed for company, but didn’t much care who saw him this way. Opening the door, he entered to find Will and Ace inside.
“So you’re awake?”
He looked at the large man behind the desk and then to his friend. Will looked as bad as he felt, eyes bloodshot, hair standing on end. In fact, he did not look like the elegant lord Luke had come to know and love. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching for him, even though he knew he should not.
“Will,” Luke lifted one hand towards him. “Dear God, can you ever forgive me?”
He thought for a moment he had lost the man before him, but then his body softened and he rose. Walking towards Luke, he wrapped his arms around him and held him in a fierce hug that hurt like hell and relieved him to his toes.
“I’m a fool, a coward as you said. Please say you forgive me?” Luke’s voice was a rasp, his throat sore from ill use.
“I forgive you.”
“Just like that?”
Will steadied him as he swayed. “You are my friend, and while I was angry at the time, it did not last, and then I was just worried when I could not find you.”
“I have no right to accept your forgiveness, but I will just the same.”
“Come, Fletcher, sit.”
Ace had moved to his side also and Luke took the hand he held out towards him.
“I have you to thank for rescuing me, I believe?”
“Will called upon me, and I filled him in on what had taken place, which, by the way, you should have done.”
“I could not. The night I left you, I was attacked.”
“We know about that, Luke,” Will said.
“Do you also know that I received a note just after, stating that if I did not leave London then you or Bella and the family would be harmed, and they would start with her face?” He felt the desperation again.
“So you tired to protect us by pushing us aside.”
“Yes.”
“Christ, what a mess. I can’t believe you went to St. Giles,” Will said, running a hand over his head. “Were you hell bent of harming yourself?”
A servant arrived and Luke took the cup handed to h
im gratefully. Lifting the liquid to his lips, he drank the hot, sweet tea before answering.
“I started walking after you left me that day, and ended up there.”
“Thank God Ace found you before they killed you.”
Luke heard the pain in his friend’s words. “Every time I sobered up, I saw you and Bella. That thought hurt so much I kept drinking, and I am a gutless coward for having done so,” he finished on a whisper.
“I know about what has been going on, Luke, and I wish you had come to me sooner. Between us, we could have unearthed the bastard.”
“You know why I didn’t”
“Yes, and I cannot say if the roles were reversed I would have reacted differently.”
“How is Bella?”
“Not sleeping or eating. Worried about you and spending every minute when I am home in my company, trying to drag information she is sure I’m concealing from her out of me. I fear she will take to the streets to find you herself shortly, if I do not produce you soon.”
Luke wanted to see her so badly he began to shake.
“I’d thought her the easiest of the Langley sisters. I see now I was wrong,” Will added.
“She has a will that is stronger than either of us realized,” Luke added.
“Amen.”
“There is still a threat, Will, so we need to take care that whoever is doing this believes I am still laying low.”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Ace said, joining the conversation. He had sat silently as the two friends talked. “I think you should stay here, and I’ll have one of my men go to your house and pack your things. Hopefully there will be someone watching it and they’ll think you’ve left London
“I hate to put you out but am grateful all the same, Ace,” Luke said.
“We are closing in on him, Luke, I’m sure of it. My men have been making enquiries as have Will and Finn. We should have the bastard soon.”
“I want to tell Bella myself, Will. Talk to her and explain what has been going on and why I have behaved as I have.”
Will thought about that for a minute and it was then they heard the loud voices in the hallway outside the door.