by Maggie Cox
Being a singer and a member of Blue Sky was far more important than having a hot little affair with the band’s manager, she told herself.
‘I was rough on you today.’ Still standing in the centre of the room, Jake rubbed a hand round his beard-darkened jaw. ‘I feel like I owe you an apology.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I pushed you too hard.’ He flinched as though genuinely regretting it.
‘You don’t have to apologise. I know I’ve still got a long way to go and I need all the help and guidance I can get. Rick says that you’re the best, and so do the others. I’m hungry to learn, Jake. You shouldn’t lose any sleep over the fact that you had to yell at me a few times.’
Gritting his teeth, he silently cursed the ache in his groin that refused to be tamped. It wasn’t the fact that he’d lost his temper a few times that he was losing sleep over. She was sitting on her sofa, looking about as tempting as Eve in the Garden of Eden, and her soothing velvet voice rolled over him like honey. She might not know it but she was seducing him as thoroughly as if she sat there naked, beckoning him to come to her.
‘Are you always this reasonable?’ He quirked an eyebrow.
Although he’d apologised, he was still spoiling for an argument—anything to defuse the sexually charged tension between them.
‘No.’ An amused smile played at the corners of her mouth. ‘Sean used to accuse me of being unreasonable all the time.’
‘Sean?’
‘My ex-boyfriend.’
‘The drug addict.’ Jake hadn’t meant to sound cruel, but the fact was he wasn’t in the mood to be magnanimous. A stab of jealousy had sliced through his insides at Caitlin’s reference to the man she’d previously been in a relationship with.
Suddenly rising to her feet, she let her fingers toy restlessly with the little pearl buttons on her blouse. The gesture inevitably drew his gaze.
‘Amongst other things he was a painter and decorator by trade. Not that he was in work very often…For obvious reasons.’ Her expression was briefly pained. ‘But, like you said, just because he was an addict, it didn’t mean he was a bad person. He was easily led by some unsavoury friends, that was the trouble.’
Caitlin dipped her head and Jake found himself automatically taking a step towards her.
‘So, you were “unreasonable” because you tried to warn him off those so-called friends?’
‘Yes… That and because I didn’t give him money as often as he liked to buy his drugs. I was struggling to keep the roof over our heads as it was. I had a lovely flat that I’d bought with a legacy my grandmother had left me and I was eventually forced to sell it because of Sean. He was in so much debt due to his drug habit.’
‘And where is he now?’ he asked. A million miles away, he hoped. Outer Mongolia wouldn’t be far enough.
‘When we broke up he said he was going to London. His brother lives there and he was going to stay with him to try and straighten himself out. I hope for his sake he was able to. But, that said, I’m just so glad he’s out of my life. Being with him had me fearing for my sanity. I hardly knew who I was any more. Sometimes I can’t believe what a fool I was to trust him and believe that he would change. One thing’s for sure…I’ll never give my trust so easily to a man again.’
Her emerald eyes glistened briefly and Jake swallowed hard. He hated the idea that she wasted even a second of her time thinking about her ex and what he had put her through.
‘Anyway, I don’t know why I’m standing here telling you all this,’ she finished.
‘I asked you to. What about your family? Were they supportive when they found out what was going on?’
‘My parents and my brother are in America. He moved out there first and they followed. They’ve started up a business out there. Anyway…’
With a shrug Caitlin briefly met his eyes and then looked quickly away again.
‘I didn’t want them to worry about me so I didn’t tell them. I made my bed and I had to lie in it. They gave me the chance of going with them when they left but I opted not to take it. Besides, they always taught me it was important to stand on my own two feet, and I wasn’t going to go running to them the moment I was in trouble. I wanted to prove to myself and to them that I could turn my life around and be proud of myself.’
‘Whilst that’s commendable, I thought families were supposed to help each other out when one of them was in trouble?’
‘Do yours? Help you when you’re in trouble I mean?’
Jake hadn’t expected her to turn the question on him. For a dizzying moment he found himself awash in a sea of feelings that he usually tried to submerge…feelings of pain, confusion and a sickening sense of being abandoned by life.
His mouth drying, he answered, ‘No… They don’t. They can’t. I don’t know who they are. I was raised in a children’s home.’
Caitlin’s bewitching green eyes immediately softened. ‘Oh, Jake…I’m so sorry.’
The suggestion of concerned sympathy in her voice was like a gun pointed straight at his heart. He immediately sought to deflect it.
‘Don’t be. I learned very quickly not to depend on anyone else for either my happiness or my wellbeing. I survived the experience—that’s all you need to know. That’s all anyone needs to know.’
Twisting her hands together, she took a few moments before commenting, ‘You’ve done more than just survive, Jake. You’ve made an amazing success of your life.’
‘Is that how it looks to you?’ The question was painfully ironic.
‘Anyway, regarding my own family, we’re…let’s just say we respect our differences. They have their life and I have mine.’
‘You mean you haven’t told them that you’ve joined the band?’
‘I will tell them…eventually. But, just not right now.’
Jake shrugged. ‘It’s your call.’
‘You said that you learned not to depend on anyone else to make you happy. What about romantic relationships, Jake? Have you had maybe one or two that haven’t worked out?’
‘Who hasn’t?’
A reticent smile suggested that discussing his own experiences was the last thing he wanted to do. It wasn’t hard to understand why he should feel that way. Nobody welcomed talking about the things that had hurt them. Yet Caitlin couldn’t help wanting to know more. Despite her vow never to easily trust another man, the idea of perhaps trusting Jake was strangely compelling. After all, he knew what it was like to have been badly hurt by someone and wouldn’t knowingly inflict similar hurt on someone else…would he?
Drawing in a deep breath for courage, she asked the question she’d been longing to hear the answer to since talking to Lia.
‘My friend Lia—the manager of the shop where I worked—she told me that she once read in the papers that you’d been married.’
As Caitlin had expected, Jake’s guard slammed down like a portcullis. ‘Then why ask if I’ve had any relationships that haven’t worked out? It must be obvious that my marriage didn’t, if your friend read about it.’
He let loose an irritated sigh, but Caitlin detected weariness in the sound, as if he was well and truly sick of the subject.
‘Presumably she also told you that my wife left me and then sold a sordid little tale to the press?’
She flushed, feeling uncomfortably guilty. ‘Yes…she did.’
‘Then that should tell you it was hardly a match made in heaven. My ex was a manipulative little liar…what else do you want to know?’
‘Please don’t be so defensive. I was hoping you might tell me your side of the story. I never read any details myself. To be honest, I didn’t even recognise you when we first met. I don’t often read the newspapers, and neither do I use social media very much. I honestly won’t breathe a word of this conversation to anyone…not even to my friend.’
‘I take it I have your word on that?’ Jake’s blue eyes were momentarily fierce.
With her heart thudding, Caitlin nodded. ‘Of
course.’
‘Her name was Jodie and she was a model who wanted to become a pop singer. I had no idea of her ambition at the time. Anyway, we met at a party and had a few dates. She was pretty and engaging enough to capture my attention, and on a weekend break to Rome I foolishly asked her to marry me.’
He shook his head in mocking disbelief.
‘Practically as soon as we were married she started to put pressure on me to help her get a record deal…all the while telling me I was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was madly in love with me, of course. You’d think I would have known better.’
He gave a harsh self-deprecating laugh before continuing.
‘She couldn’t sing, and when she realised I wasn’t going to help further her career she started an affair with Mel Justice—the lead guitarist of the bestselling rock band on the planet. I was travelling in South America on business when she moved in with him and on my return she told me she was filing for divorce. Then, when the case came to court, she cited mental cruelty because I’d allegedly promised to help make her a star and I hadn’t…’
The way Jake shook his head told Caitlin everything she needed to know about how he’d felt about that.
‘In the story she portrayed me as some kind of Svengali who’d preyed on her naïvety and led her astray. If it hadn’t been so painful and hadn’t ruined my reputation it would have been funny. Anyway, with the help of a high-profile American lawyer, courtesy of her new boyfriend, she got her divorce and was awarded a ridiculous sum of money from me for so-called damages. Then she married her lover and became Mrs Justice.’
Jake’s telling of the painful events was succinct and to the point. But to have had his reputation sullied by Jodie’s lies and for her to have sold her story to the newspapers because she hadn’t got what she wanted out of him must have seriously shattered his belief in relationships. Sighing, Caitlin tucked some drifting strands of hair behind her ear.
Relieved to have done with his story, Jake moved across to the sofa to join her. Breathing out on a sigh, he gently touched his knuckles to the side of her cheek. As soon as he’d done it he knew he was lost.
Even though he’d kissed her, touching Caitlin was still a revelation. Her skin had the texture of the purest silk. An erotic image of her lying naked in his bed, her slender limbs tangled in black satin sheets, her eyes dark with desire and her skin flushed pink with arousal, slipped easily into his mind to taunt him even more. He wanted to touch her everywhere. He wouldn’t rush. He’d take his time and savour every inch of her beautiful body, every flavour. Was she uninhibitedly vocal? Or would she whimper gently when he brought her to climax?
‘Anyway, I think I’ve said enough. Thanks for telling me about Sean. I hope it hasn’t upset you too much?’ It didn’t surprise him when his voice sounded less than steady.
‘It hasn’t. I’m fine.’ Caitlin willed herself to move, to put herself out of reach of his seductive touch and wrest her gaze from the haunting blue eyes that made her feel so restless and hungry.
She burned for him. Could Jake see that? Could he tell? If she was going to make her dream come true she couldn’t afford to let him know just how much she desired him. Becoming intimately involved with Jake Sorenson would be a disaster personally and professionally. Somehow she had to play it cool…for both their sakes. They were both recovering from seriously hurtful relationships and, if nothing else, they should exercise some common sense.
‘I’m just very tired.’ Faking a yawn, Caitlin surprised herself by following it up with a genuine one.
Jake immediately got to his feet. Planting his hands either side of his straight lean hips, he nodded. ‘I almost forgot how late it was.’
He should be glad of the excuse to leave. He didn’t dare risk staying for much longer because being with Caitlin was putting an impossible strain on him to stick to his vow to leave well alone.
‘I know we haven’t discussed the situation we’ve got but that will have to wait. At the end of the day, the band is the first priority. I’ll see you tomorrow at rehearsals. Three o’clock, usual place.’
‘I’ll be there.’ Caitlin pushed to her feet.
‘Good. I’ll see myself out. Don’t come down.’
Following him onto the landing, Caitlin felt every muscle in her body tense as she stared at his back, at the soft leather jacket that accommodated his broad shoulders to perfection, at his long, hard-muscled legs and taut, lean behind. A wave of heat rolled over her and almost made her lose her balance. She’d never ogled a man in her life before, but there was something about Jake Sorenson that made her behave out of character…something wild and untamed.
She’d stared down into a yawning abyss of darkness many times during those two hellish years with Sean, and had lost count of the times she’d prayed for her life to be ‘normal’. But, in truth, she’d always known that she could never be content with a conventional nine-to-five existence. She needed more than that…much more. That was why she’d shown up for the audition with Blue Sky. That was why she was willing to kiss goodbye to the sleepy little village that had been her home and that was why she wanted to take her chances with Jake and the others…
‘Jake?’
Coming to a standstill at the bottom of the stairs, he glanced up at her. As she stared back into his fathomless blue eyes Caitlin mused that it was like falling into the sky.
‘Thanks for dropping by and for…for our little chat.’
‘No problem.’
Conveying that he was in a hurry, Jake abruptly opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.
CHAPTER FIVE
THE BLAST OF A car horn sounding right outside her front door made Caitlin jump. In the throes of getting ready for her evening out, she glanced at the clock on the mantel and saw that it was later than she’d thought.
Softly cursing, she yanked her hairbrush roughly through her sable hair, then quickly painted her lips with the new plum shade of lipstick she’d bought. Her hand was a little unsteady as she applied it and, to make matters even worse, she decided that the colour was a little too dramatic for her liking. But she was just going to have to grin and bear it. She was already feeling tense at the distinct possibility of being chastised yet again for lateness. That would make it the third time this week and it might just be the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as Jake was concerned.
Hurriedly snatching her leather jacket off the couch and pulling it on, she grabbed her purse, shoved it into a pocket and flew down the steep, narrow staircase as if the hounds of hell themselves were after her. Her breath hitched as she hurried towards the ominous-looking black Jeep, its engine running.
Jake leaned across and pushed open the passenger door. ‘Hi,’ he greeted her.
His expression didn’t give much away, and it couldn’t help but increase the overall sense of trepidation that Caitlin was feeling. They were going to see a band tonight and would be spending a large amount of time together…alone. She didn’t doubt the experience was going to be a real test for them both.
‘Hi.’ There were three seats in the front of the vehicle and she automatically sat next to the window and slammed the door shut.
‘I want you next to me.’
‘What?’
The slow burning heat from Jake’s gaze almost scorched Caitlin where she sat. He didn’t embellish the comment. He didn’t have to. They both knew only too well why he wanted her to sit closer to him. Could day resist following night? She’d have loved to have had a handy reason with which to refuse him, but her mind was worryingly bereft of anything helpful as his arresting blue eyes entrapped hers.
With thumping heart she murmured, ‘Feeling lonely, are we?’ Then, before he could reply, she somehow found herself sitting in the luxuriously upholstered leather seat next to his.
His lips lifted in a grin.
‘Not any more.’
‘Well, I’m glad that I’ve made you happy.’ Her dark hair brushed against her
reddened cheekbone as she bent to buckle her seatbelt. ‘For once.’
Chuckling, Jake put the car into gear and steered it smoothly away from the kerb. It should have reassured her that he seemed to be in a particularly good mood tonight, but it didn’t make things any easier. Not when she was already gripped by the familiar disturbing waves of disorientation and desire that seemed to be inevitable whenever they were together. And all day that combustible kiss they’d shared when he’d walked her home from the pub had played over and over in her mind.
Their attraction for each other had been growing stronger and stronger. It only needed the tiniest spark to turn it into a conflagration. It was made even more acute now, by the intimate space they shared in the car.
Caitlin couldn’t help stealing a covetous glance at Jake as he drove. True to form, he was clothed in his habitual black, with no apparent concessions to dressing up for their night out—although he didn’t need to wear fancy clothes to draw a woman’s eye. Not when he exuded charisma simply by breathing. Add to that, he had the intriguing persona of a man who’d been around musicians for most of his life and had seen it all…group bust-ups, wrecked hotel rooms, drink, drugs, groupies and corrupt management…and had lived to tell the tale. Jake had been there, done that, and worn the T-shirt.
Sighing, Caitlin smoothed her hand down over her jeans and couldn’t help wondering what people would see in her when she finally took to the stage to sing. Would they quickly categorise her as just another starstruck wannabe? A wide-eyed innocent without much experience of anything at all? If they did, then they couldn’t be more wrong. How could they know the narrow escape she’d had from the kind of destructive relationship that most mothers of daughters had nightmares about? Consequently, she was far from ignorant about the pitfalls that awaited girls who were too trusting, who kidded themselves that they could ‘fix’ a partner’s problems simply by loving them enough. Caitlin had found to her cost that that was one of the biggest lies believed by women.