by Maggie Cox
There was no question that he wanted Caitlin. The situation between them wouldn’t have developed if he hadn’t. The electricity they generated between them could turn on the Christmas lights in Oxford Street without a power socket in sight. But lust was one thing and—dared he say it?—love was something else entirely.
He caught his breath, mulling the thought over.
Was love what he felt for Caitlin? If it was, then where did he go from here? In most people’s books love meant commitment…the one thing he had always shied away from.
Jake was pretty sure now that what he’d felt for Jodie definitely hadn’t been love. His decision to marry the woman had been crazy and it had cost him dearly. The truth was he had never committed himself properly to her. Wasn’t that why he’d taken every opportunity to distance himself by travelling so often? She’d probably sensed his reticence at being with her long before she’d had her affair.
But what if the desire to escape reared its head again when he was with Caitlin? He couldn’t bear the thought that he might break her heart. After the hell her ex had put her through she deserved someone who wouldn’t cut and run. Someone who would support her journey as a singer. Someone who would be there when she needed them. Someone she could count on to stay around for more than just a few short weeks or months… In fact someone the complete antithesis of himself.
And now, to make matters worse, he had Rick on his case. When all was said and done his friend had every right to be furious with him. Jake had broken his own unwritten code about fraternising with band members and he’d potentially put the band at risk because of his fascination for Caitlin.
He would endeavour to put things right as soon as Kenny Swan from Lightning Records had seen the band perform tonight. If the man gave them a recording contract then hopefully it would help Jake decide what he needed to do, and maybe then—and it was a big maybe—he would finally be able to have some peace.
* * *
‘You can come? Lia, that’s fantastic!’
Dropping down onto the bed, with its prettily embroidered quilt, Caitlin clamped her mobile firmly against her ear. To hear that her best friend was at last able to get away and come and hear her sing was the best news she’d had all day…next to the chance of Blue Sky getting a record deal, of course. But ever since that uncomfortable exchange between Jake, Rick and her at rehearsals that morning she hadn’t been able to help worrying about what might happen next.
Rick’s mood hadn’t improved since Jake had left him in charge, and Caitlin feared for their friendship. Was she to blame for their falling out? If she was, then she would do her utmost to put things right. But in less than a couple of sentences Lia’s cheery voice had managed to dispel her worry and doubt and replace it with a sudden rush of optimism and hope.
If Caitlin gave a good performance tonight—the best performance she’d ever given—the band might get that record deal, Jake and Rick’s friendship might return to its previous status, and Jake might start to see that he and Caitlin had a future together outside of the band.
‘I might be a little late if the traffic is bad,’ Lia was saying, ‘but I’ll definitely be there. I’ve booked a room at that bed and breakfast you’re staying at, like you suggested, so we’ll be able to have a good old natter when we get back from the club. I’m so excited I can’t wait! Hey—and you know what else?’
‘What?’
Holding her hand out in front of her, Caitlin frowned at her chipped purple nail polish, wondering if she’d have time to repaint her nails before the gig tonight. It had to be right. Everything had to be right or it would be her fault if things went wrong. She was suspicious like that, and she wasn’t taking any chances.
‘I took a peek at your horoscope today,’ her friend continued. ‘Do you know what it said?’
‘Go on.’ There wasn’t a muscle in Caitlin’s body that didn’t clench tight.
Lia took a deep breath in. ‘Well, Saturn is meeting Venus today, and I’m sure you know that Venus is the planet of love and money? The timing is perfect. Saturn meets Venus beneath the auspices of the Mars/Jupiter rendezvous, so if you long for something in the money or romance stakes today’s probably the time to ask for it. What do you think of that?’
Caitlin couldn’t help but concentrate on the romance aspect. What would it take for Jake to see that she was serious about him? That she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him? That she’d go anywhere at any time with him and wouldn’t regret a thing just so long as they could be together?
‘Well, I’ve just been paid, so I’m okay for cash. As for romance, I…’ She fell silent.
‘Has something been going on?’
‘What do you mean?’ Leaning back against the plump pillows stacked against the padded headboard, Caitlin nervously wound a silken strand of burnished dark hair round her finger.
‘Are you having an affair with someone in the band? Wait a minute… I bet it’s with the manager, Jake Sorenson.’ Lia sounded emphatic. ‘It’s him, isn’t it?’
‘Next you’ll be telling me that you’re psychic.’
Smiling grimly at her own bad joke, Caitlin deliberately stalled for time. She had the beginnings of a headache and prayed that her friend wouldn’t start giving her a lecture on the wisdom—or lack of it—in pursuing a relationship with Jake. Besides, it was far too late for her to start taking advice on that particular subject.
‘That’s not good news. It may or may not be deserved, but the man has a certain reputation after that scandal with his ex. Are you looking for trouble, or what? You’re in a vulnerable situation as it is, and now you’ve gone and done possibly the worst thing you could do by getting involved with him! Oh, Cait…how could you?’
Shutting her eyes briefly tight, Caitlin slackened her hold on the phone, thought of Jake and the damage he could do to her heart with just a smile, and mused silently, How could I not?
* * *
‘I’ve been looking for you.’
Jake.
At the sound of that familiar low-pitched voice Caitlin almost broke out in a sweat. Hanging her coat more securely on the old-fashioned peg in the dressing room, from which the garment had just slipped for the third time, she turned slowly round to face him. Her gaze made electrically charged contact with his.
‘I popped out for some fresh air, but I’ve been here for about half of an hour,’ she told him.
With its gilded French-style furnishings, including a sumptuous gold couch, a chaise-longue, two matching armchairs and a chic glass-topped coffee table, the room that had been designated for the band was full of old-style glamour, making it quirkily appealing and atmospheric. The walls were covered in photographs and posters of the bands and musicians who had played there over the years—some extremely well known—and Caitlin had already spent several minutes studying them and marvelling at how fate had brought her there to perform.
But her attention was no longer on the room. Jake’s brooding presence was already making her feel feverish with need, and she didn’t think she could be any more intimately aware of him if she tried.
‘Rick’s just gone to the bar to get you a drink.’
‘Thanks.’ She agitatedly twisted the silver bangle she was wearing, then pushed her fingers through her hair. ‘It’s far too hot in here…don’t you think?’
He was smiling that roguish smile of his that could scramble her brain in a second and turn her limbs to damp strands of spaghetti.
‘It’s always hot when we’re in a room together, Caitlin… Don’t tell me you’ve never noticed?’
‘Yes. Well…’
‘By the way, you look sensational tonight.’
Jake’s glance couldn’t help but avidly home in on Caitlin’s figure. She was dressed from top to toe in black—bootcut jeans that clung lovingly to her slender thighs and a slim-fitting shirt cut high on the waist that dipped just low enough to give him a tantalising glimpse of her delectable cleavage.
Just thinking ab
out the taste of that satin-smooth flesh when he kissed her, he had to suppress the compelling urge to lock the door behind them and keep her captive. He hoped that Kenny Swan would appreciate the supreme sacrifice he was making in letting Caitlin go out there to sing tonight.
‘I really hope there are no hard feelings between you and Rick.’
Jake shrugged. ‘Rick and I will sort things out. We always do.’
A moment later he had shortened the distance between them. Reaching out, he laid his palm over her cheek. Soft as a newly opened petal, it beckoned him to touch again. As if anticipating the event, her plump lower lip quivered and the sight inevitably made his blood slow and thicken. Now he wanted to taste her, to plunder, to brand…
But he was swiftly denied the pleasure when Caitlin caught hold of his hand and lifted it firmly away.
‘I need to talk to you, Jake.’
‘After the gig tonight. We’ll have a proper conversation then.’
‘No. I need to tell you something now. I’ve got a friend coming back with me tonight. A friend from home.’
Disappointment, heavy and crushing, cramped his chest. ‘Male or female?’ he quipped jealously, straight away knowing that as a matter of principle he disliked the person already. It didn’t matter about the decision he ultimately had to make for both their sakes. Right then, Jake wanted the dark-haired beauty in front of him exclusively for himself.
‘It’s Lia.’ She shrugged a shoulder. ‘The owner of the shop where I worked.’
‘I remember…the one who had to have some wisdom teeth removed?’
Smiling wryly, Jake lifted a strand of Caitlin’s hair and stared down at it, transfixed. Her green eyes widened.
‘Jake? Is everything all right?’
Even as she asked the question dread coiled in the pit of her stomach. Somehow she knew that everything wasn’t all right. There was something he wasn’t telling her…something she was certain would cause her untold hurt…something she didn’t want to know until she absolutely had to—because right then all she wanted to do was keep this man in her company until the last possible second…
‘Stop worrying. Everything’s fine.’
Jake had just bent his head to kiss her when Rick pushed opened the door and strode in. Depositing the tray of drinks he carried down onto the coffee table, his hazel eyes locked accusingly onto them both.
‘Still taking care of business, Jake?’ he commented sarcastically.
Even before Jake stepped out of their embrace Caitlin sensed his anger and irritation. Once again she put the blame for helping to create animosity between the two men squarely on her own shoulders.
‘Don’t blame Jake.’ Lifting her chin, she unwaveringly met Rick’s glance. ‘It’s my fault. I was the one who—’
‘Save it, sweetheart.’ His smile was resigned, but not unkind. ‘You wouldn’t be the first woman to become infatuated with Jake, and if I’m not mistaken you won’t be the last.’
‘I’d stop right there if I were you.’ The cold glare that Jake directed at his colleague glittered like the sparkle of ice in a glacier.
‘Why?’ Rick demanded. ‘Because you don’t want her to hear the truth?’
‘What truth?’ Caitlin’s mouth had already gone dry as sand.
‘Jake doesn’t have a particularly good track record with women. In this business not many men do…the temptations are often too great to resist. But, to be fair…’ His glance focused even more intently on Jake. ‘He was burned badly by his ex, and after that he swore never to commit to another woman again. I’d be very surprised if that view had changed. In any case, whatever he’s told you, I wouldn’t take it too seriously, Cait.’
The tension that rebounded between them deepened. In the pit of her stomach Caitlin felt sick, cold dread. Was he telling the truth? Was Jake intending to end their relationship before it had even really got started? Had she been painfully naïve in thinking that their passionate lovemaking really mattered to him? Jake had already made it clear that he wasn’t offering her anything more meaningful.
What an idiot she was! When was she going to learn that some men were in the business of taking, not giving? Every time her ex Sean had told her that things would be different, that he would change, that they had a bright future together, she had believed him. Yes, she had even believed him when she’d bailed him out with the last five hundred pounds in her savings account, because he’d sworn to pay it back with interest. Of course he never had.
This wouldn’t be the first time she’d been deceived by a man. But then, maybe she had done some of the deceiving. Hadn’t she deceived herself when she’d believed that, given time and the chance to really get to know her, Jake might want to take their relationship more seriously? Her heart ached with renewed hurt when she realised finally that it wasn’t true…could never be true.
‘It’s all right, Jake.’ Even though her eyes had filled with tears, Caitlin faced him with an unflinching stare. ‘Whatever you might think, I’m not as naïve as you imagine. We slept together, we made love…but deep down I never thought you intended to take things further. Don’t worry. I’m not going to make a scene. And, despite what you might think, Rick, I’m not going to go to pieces because it’s over between Jake and me. We’ll still have a professional relationship…a good one, I hope. And now that that’s clear I think I’ll go and find the others and check in with them.’
She made a move to turn away.
‘No—not like this, Caitlin.’
Jake scraped a frustrated hand through his hair. He was furious with Rick for putting him in such an untenable position. But he was also furious with himself—because now it looked as if he’d deliberately used Caitlin. Nothing could be further from the truth. He was crazy about her. Thinking of her practically consumed his every waking moment. What he felt for her was like nothing he’d ever experienced before, and the power of it took his breath away. And if he had trouble telling her that, then it was surely down to an inherent lack of trust that anything good could ever last?
Never in his life had he experienced feeling safe. Even as a small boy in the children’s home he’d known that when he fell he fell alone. There would be no loving parent to pick him up and reassure him that everything would be all right.
Jake swallowed hard. Caitlin’s beautiful emerald eyes were glistening with tears and in those few heartrending seconds he had never felt lower.
‘I never meant to hurt you,’ he breathed, lifting his hand to dry the moisture that tracked down her cheek.
She immediately backed away. ‘Forget it.’ Not giving him even the merest glance, instead she looked at Rick and enquired, ‘Are the boys in the bar?’ He nodded. ‘Then I’ll go and join them.’
She headed towards the door—but not before she heard him say to Jake, ‘Just as well I’m around to pick up the pieces.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
JAKE COULDN’T BELIEVE that Caitlin had accepted a lift back to her guesthouse from Kenny Swan. The man was a smooth-talking Lothario, old enough to be her father. What on earth had possessed her? He had been all over her like a cheap suit, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that Rick had pleaded with Jake not to make a fuss, because at the end of the gig Swan had offered them a lucrative contract, Jake would have put him straight about a few things.
As far as he was concerned a deal wasn’t a deal until all the ‘i’s had been dotted and the ‘t’s crossed, and he wasn’t agreeing to a damn thing until he examined the details for himself…preferably under a microscope. He hadn’t spent fifteen years working in the industry for nothing.
But right then, even though Blue Sky’s good fortune should have been uppermost in his mind, it wasn’t. Caitlin was. He could have strangled Rick for forcing the issue between them out into the open like that, without any regard for their feelings. No wonder Caitlin was mad at Jake. She had every right to be. And now he was suffering all kinds of agony, wondering if Kenny Swan had taken her straight back to her guesthouse o
r whether he had persuaded her to go home with him to his penthouse in Mayfair.
As far as pretty women went, rumour had it that the man had very few scruples. And it was little consolation to Jake to recall that Caitlin’s friend Lia had been with her. He’d intuited that the blonde could easily take care of herself, and Kenny wouldn’t have hesitated to drop her off at the guesthouse and then continue on to London with Caitlin, should she agree to the arrangement.
But even as he had the thought Jake knew that she wouldn’t. She would never abandon her friend…she was far too loyal for that.
If only Jake hadn’t been waylaid by the rest of the band, wanting to discuss the record deal, at the same time that Caitlin had been ensnared by Kenny at the bar, he would have persuaded her to go outside with him and get some fresh air. By the time he’d been able to return his attention to them Jake had seen that they were gone. He’d dashed outside, only to see the tail-end of Kenny’s gleaming sedan with its tinted windows disappearing into the night—no doubt with Caitlin seated snugly beside him while her little blonde girlfriend sat in the back.
* * *
‘I thought you could probably use this.’ Rick placed a steaming cup of black coffee on the bar and pulled up a stool next to Jake.
The venue was slowly emptying of late-night revellers who’d watched the band and were clearly reluctant to go home. Behind the two men bar staff were methodically clearing tables and stacking chairs. A mournful-sounding love song was playing softly in the background, and Jake couldn’t help but feel despondent. The relentless longing for Caitlin that had taken up residence in his heart didn’t abate, and he knew it was serious. The mere idea that she might walk away and find somebody else was simply not to be tolerated. It dawned on him then that he’d move heaven and earth just to be with her…