I held onto his hand, pulling him closer. He had on dark jeans and light colored button-down shirt with tiny little blue stripes. I put my face right by his collar, breathing in the clean woodsy smell.
"Are you referring to me staying at your apartment for the rest of my trip, or are you talking about our lives in general?"
"Both," he said. "But let's start with getting these things out of here and over to my apartment."
***
I spent the next week in New York.
My original plan was to be there for four days, but after the way things went so well with Theo, I extended my trip. Theo had a lot going on with work, and I loved getting to see him in action. His main business was online art dealing and trading, but that was just one of the many things he had his hand in. Not only did he have a lot of professional endeavors, but he also played an active role in all of them. Theo spent a lot of time on his laptop and on his phone, taking care of business and talking to clients and artists.
I did some shopping and sightseeing during the times that Theo was working. I became friends with Zoe and Lane and some of the other artists and staff from the collective, and most days, I ventured out with one or more of them while Theo took care of business.
I did some gardening, too, which was an unexpected treat. The penthouse apartments had access to the rooftop, and Zoe had a few plants and flowers growing in containers up there. She didn't know much about gardening and was happy to get my help and advice. I bought a huge container and a wisteria plant and helped her get it started where it would grow up and eventually cover the wooden terrace.
Theo and I were always eager to see each other when he finished work and I got finished with whatever I had gotten into that day. We had a few daytime outings together as well, but we always connected during the evenings. We'd go out and about, doing different things each night. One night, we saw a musical, once we went to a party, once we saw stand-up comedy, and once had dinner at Lane and Zoe's. We went out to eat four times, and twice we just stayed in and watched television.
Theo kissed me, and held me, and let me know that he cared, but he never tried to take it to the next level physically. I didn't ask him about his past and he didn't ask me about mine. Neither of us cared about that. Both of us just knew we wanted to be together, and that seemed to be enough.
Being with Theo was easy.
Nothing was forced.
He and I could talk for hours or we could just sit quietly in each other's company and not say a word. I loved him and that's all there was to it. I loved him when I was ten and then again when I was thirty, and now I agreed with Theo; there was no sense in us being apart any longer.
Theo had plans to go to Canada the following week, so I scheduled my trip home to Florida on the same day that he was flying out. He arranged it so that our flights were at similar times, and we just rode to the airport together. He wasn't a stranger to a cab, but he hired someone in a classy black car to pick us up. He had done it one other time during the week (the night we went to the musical), and I told him how fancy it made me feel. Twice during my stay people recognized Theo as the Shower & Shelter guy and came up to him to talk or take a picture, and I told him that made me feel fancy, too.
I sat right next to Theo in the back of the luxury sedan on our way to the airport. I was positioned so close to him that I threw one of my legs over his. I would've climbed right into his lap if it were acceptable for me to do so. I hated, hated, hated the thought of leaving him. I hated it so much. I knew there would be a void, and I was absolutely dreading it. He knew I was going to miss him, and I knew he was going to miss me, but man, I hated it.
The plan was that I would go home, and he would go to Montréal, and we would take a few days to think about how quickly we wanted to move forward.
It was a reasonable plan, but it didn't stop the pain in my heart at the thought of being apart from him.
"I can't believe Zoe gave me that fish painting," I said. "I feel bad that I mentioned it. I didn't know she was going to just give it to me like that."
"Don't feel bad," Theo said. "She was glad to give it to you. It makes her happy to know your family will like it."
"They're really gonna love it. We've all watched the documentary, and they're big fans of her stuff. They're going to freak out over it. Dad's going to want to take it to the store, but Mom will want to hang it in their house."
"I'll have it shipped to them," Theo said. He took a deep breath. It sounded somewhat shaky, and I turned to look at him with a curious expression. "Caroline, I do not like this one bit," he said. "I don't like not having a plan. We really need to have more of a plan." He leaned forward, situating himself in the seat as if he was restless and agitated. He sighed again, and fidgeted with my hand.
"I hate it too," I said, before he could say anything else. "I don't want to leave you." I collapsed into his arms resting my face on his chest and squeezing him tightly, and he held onto me.
"I'm seriously ticked off about this right now, Caroline."
"Me too," I said. "What do we do?"
He looked around, shaking his head absentmindedly as if trying to search for the right answer. "I guess we just have to decide to start making moves," he said. "Practically speaking, I mean, one of us is going to have to move."
"I'll go anywhere," I announced, shaking my head. I had such distain for being apart from him that leaving Florida for good seemed like a viable option at that point. I loved my family, and I would hate to leave home, but I would. My heart was breaking so fiercely at the thought of leaving Theo that I knew I would do just about anything.
He held me tightly and took another deep breath. "Okay," he said. "I really don't need to have three homes. I travel enough that having two is pushing it. I think we should just sell my place in Montréal and split our time between New York and Jensen. We can still travel to Canada when we want to, I just don't see a need to keep up the place there. Maybe we can rent it out. I'll have to look at options."
Up until then, he and I had been vague, only saying that we knew we wanted to make plans to be together, but not really saying what those plans were. It was an odd feeling, hearing him be so matter-of-fact about major life decisions such as selling homes and moving to different states to be together.
"My family's gonna kind of maybe expect us to… They might say something about…" I hesitated, and Theo smiled at me.
"I already told you we should just go ahead and skip the formalities."
"What do you mean by skip the formalities? Do you mean get married?" I asked.
"Do you mean get married?" he asked, teasing me.
"You say it first," I said.
"Yes. I do mean that."
"I think we should do all those things," I said. "The moving, and the getting married, and everything we mentioned."
"Okay," he said. "So think about all of that. Talk to your family and decide how and when you want everything to happen. My vote is for doing it sooner than later. In the meantime, I'll figure out what I'm going to do with my place in Canada, and start making arrangements to be a US resident full-time."
"Are you sure?" I asked. "Are you sure you can leave your home?"
"I can leave Canada for the same reason you could leave Florida if I asked you to."
"Why's that?"
"For love."
"For love?" I asked.
"Yep, because you love me."
"I do?"
"Yep," he said.
I was just pretending to be coy because we had already said 'I love you' to each other during the previous week.
"I have friends in Montréal, but nothing like you with your family," Theo said. "It only makes sense that we spend more time in Florida."
"I do love you," I said, still feeling bad for teasing him. I nestled in close to his neck. He had just shaved that morning, so he was smooth and he smelled clean. I put a hand on the other side of his face just to hold him still while I let my face brush against the skin of
his neck and jaw. I did it with a careful, loving touch that caused Theo's breathing to become slightly labored. He said something in French, which made me smile and place a kiss on the soft skin of his neck. He let out a strained sigh.
"Did I already say that we need to go ahead and get married sooner than later, or did I just think that?" he asked.
"I think you did say something about making it sooner than later," I said. I rubbed my face gently against his neck again.
"The soonest," he said. "Go ahead and make it the soonest possible moment."
Chapter 20
Theo and I were virtually inseparable after that first trip to New York, but we decided not to have marital relations until we… well, until we were married. He was a literal minded sort of person, and he lived his life by certain Christian principals, not necessarily because he was a religious person, but because he had good results in life simply from abiding by them.
One of them that impressed me the most about Theo was his generosity. It was remarkable. He saw giving to others as a great honor. He did it without hesitation. It was like he was plugged into some supernatural pipeline. God's fingerprint was all over the financial situation of Theo's life, and it was neat to witness firsthand. For instance, one day we were at a gas station in Jensen and Theo paid for this lady's gas. She said she was planning on getting $10, but he told her to go ahead and fill up. The total came to $60, and later that evening, he found three twenty-dollar-bills wadded up in the gutter when we took Elroy for a walk. Theo lived a generous life, and it seemed that everything he gave came back to him supernaturally. It was inspiring.
It was so inspiring that I tried to get in on it myself. A few times in the months since Theo and I had been together, I had gone out on a limb to be generous in ways that I would have never even thought about. One time, it was a real success, and I felt really good about myself and thankful for the experience, but two times recently, I felt like I had failed. I didn't tell Theo about the first failure, but I was so frustrated by the second one, that I had to bring it up to him.
"I don't know how you do it," I said as we walked down the sidewalk.
We were in New York, and we were walking Darlene for Lane and Zoe. (Elroy was a Florida dog, and stayed home with my parents when Theo and I weren't in town, so we liked to borrow Darlene.)
"I don't know how you always get people to respond so well when you're generous. Twice now, I've picked the wrong people to try to help out. It's so frustrating. I don't know how you do it right."
"What do you mean?" Theo asked. "What happened?"
"I found twenty dollars in the back pocket of these jeans this morning," I said. "And I specifically told God I would set it aside for someone who could use it and to please show me that person. You know, like you do. Anyway, so I had the twenty bucks in my back pocket, and I come up on this guy in the park who was setting up some work out equipment. He was by himself, but he was setting up like he was expecting a class or something. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he meets people to work out. He said he was trying to get his business off the ground, but that he couldn't afford a storefront yet, so until he could, he met people at the park." I sighed. "I guess it was because he mentioned not being able to afford something that I did it, or maybe it was because his equipment looked so old. Anyway, I asked him if I could give him twenty bucks for his business."
"That was good," Theo said, squeezing me around the shoulders as we walked.
"I wish it was, but it wasn't," I said. "It was awkward. He looked at me like he was kind of offended. He took it from me, but he stared at me the whole time like he didn’t want my charity. I was embarrassed." I breathed a sigh. "I don't know how you pick the right people every time."
Theo had Darlene's leash in one hand and his other arm around me as we continued to walk slowly down the block. There weren't a lot of people on the path, so we didn't rush.
"When did you do that?" he asked.
"Today. Like an hour ago. I hate it, too, because it makes me not want to ever try it again."
"That would really be a shame," Theo said. "Do you think it's a big, soaring success every time I'm generous with someone?" he asked.
"Yes," I said. "I mean, at least they're not offended. Him looking at me like that made me wish I had the twenty bucks back, and then I felt like a bad person for wishing that."
"Let me tell you something, Caroline. You're wrong if you think there's always gratification involved when I give somebody something. A couple of times I've given big financial gifts to whole organizations and never gotten so much as a thank you. People aren't always the most gracious at receiving gifts. 'Thank you' is not the easiest phrase to say. It takes a little vulnerability. You can't think what you did was a failure just because of how the guy reacted. You did your part. You felt like him mentioning not being able to afford something was your prompting, and you followed it. That's all that matters. That's all you're accountable for. I definitely don't always have the warmest reception when I give someone something. I've gotten better at choosing who and when and where, but I still have awkward moments. I still have times when people take money from me and I wonder whether or not they're thankful at all. That's not really my part of it, though. I learned to disconnect myself from that part of it years ago."
We took a few steps and then Theo sighed and said, "Speaking of years ago, you'll never believe who I heard from today."
He was speaking in a serious tone, and I turned to glance up at him with a questioning glance.
"Arnett," he said.
I recognized the name as soon as he said it. "You heard from him? The lawyer? What did he say?"
"It was an email. He requested a meeting with me at my earliest convenience. He wants me to come to his house the next time I'm in Montréal."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, looking around in confusion since my story about the twenty bucks hadn't been nearly that important.
He shrugged. "Because I'm probably not going to go."
"You're not going to go? Why not? It might be important. What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything specific; he just said he wanted to meet with me. That's why I'm not going to go."
"Really? I'm so curious. Why don't you write him back and tell him you like to conduct business over the phone. Tell him you just moved out of your place in Canada."
"He knows I did," Theo said. "He might be old, but he knows what's going on in Montréal."
"Maybe that's why he contacted you. Maybe he's old and he wanted to apologize. I think you should at least email him back. I can't believe you're not curious."
***
Theo and I went to Montréal two weeks later. He had to go there on other business, and he decided to meet with Mr. Arnett during the trip.
He met with the man at his house, which was in the outskirts of the city. There was a nice shopping center nearby, so I looked around at a few stores while Theo went to his meeting. I got a text from him after only twenty minutes, saying that he would meet me for lunch whenever I was ready.
We were at an outdoor shopping center, and there were areas with fountains and bronze statues. Theo told me he was waiting by the one with the bear statues, and I knew right where that was, so I met him there. He stood up, carrying a small, leather bag that looked similar to a shaving kit. He was smiling at me, and I marveled at how handsome he was, but I mostly stared straight at the pouch, knowing he didn't have it before his meeting with the lawyer.
"What did he say?" I asked as soon as we were standing close enough for him to hear me. "What is that?"
He smiled and motioned with a flick of his head to the café that was behind him. "Let's get some lunch, and I'll tell you all about it."
We sat down across from each other at a table, and Theo put the bag on the table between us. I glanced at it suspiciously out of the corner of my eye, and he smiled.
"Looks like the kind of bag that would have a ton of cash in it."
He smiled. "Mr.
Arnett must have thought so as well because that's what he put in there."
Theo made the statement just as a waitress came up to take our drink order and let us know about the specials, so we put the conversation on hold.
"Do you think there's cash in there?" I asked with wide eyes the instant she walked away.
"I know there is," he said. "I saw it already."
"Why? How much? Did Arnett give you that?"
He grinned at me for being so anxious to hear the story. "He's old. I don't know if he's dying, but he's old. He seemed much bigger in my memories. I'm not sure if he shrank or if it just seems that way to me because I grew up, but there was a significant size difference from what I remember. Anyway, he pulled a huge stack of cash out of a safe within the first two minutes I was there, saying it was the remainder of my parents' estate."
"I bet he's dying and he's trying to get right with God," I said. "…repaying the money he stole from people."
"I don't think so," Theo said. "This was different. He wasn't apologizing for anything. He did lie to me about the money, but he basically pats himself on the back for doing it."
"What?" I asked in utter disbelief.
"I couldn't believe it either," Theo said. "He sat on the other side of his desk and basically credited himself for my life—for the way I turned out."
"What?" I asked again.
Theo chuckled and nodded. "He said he knew that if I had my parents' money at the age of sixteen, I would get comfortable, complacent—that I wasn't ready to have that kind of money yet. He said I was immature and needed to grow up, but he thought I could make a success of myself with a little tough love. Tough love was what he called it. It was like he thought I was going to thank him. Can you believe that?"
"What'd you do?" I asked.
"I stared at him for like a minute straight, thinking about all the questions I wanted to ask him and all the things I wanted to say. I didn't even know where to begin. He had just talked my ear off for ten minutes with his whole deluded story, and honestly I didn't know what to say, so I just took the cash off of his desk and I walked out of his office."
My American Angel (Shower & Shelter Artist Collective Book 6) Page 13