“Hey, hey,” he said, stroking her head with his big, warm hands. “Look at you, being all maternal.”
Which only made her cry harder.
“This isn’t helping anyone.” Aiden took her chin between his fingers. “But you know what will?”
She shook her head.
He looked over at the other stretcher, where Sal lay beneath straps, crying intermittently now, as if she’d given up on anyone comforting her.
“You can’t hold her. But you can talk to her. Let her know you’re here. Stroke her face and her fingers. Can you do that?”
Haylee swallowed, feeling how very large the world was to someone who was small and hurting. “Yeah,” she managed. “I can do that.”
The baby’s skin was so soft, so smooth, even where it was red and blotchy with tears. Her eyes, almost black in the dim light, widened at Haylee’s touch. Sobs shuddered through her little body.
“Hey, baby,” Haylee said. “It’s gonna be okay. Your mama will be back soon. And . . . I’ll look after you until then. Okay.”
She crooned over and over until Sal’s cries stuttered to a stop and she drifted off to sleep.
“Hey,” said the EMT, “you’re a natural. That’ll make the trip to the hospital a lot less stressful for her.”
Haylee felt heat rise in her cheeks.
Suddenly, Haylee’s legs turned to jelly and she might have fallen if Aiden hadn’t been there.
“Come with me,” he said. “You’re quaking in your boots.”
He pulled her over to his car and opened the passenger-side door. It fell open, nearly knocking him over.
“Get in,” he said, shoving her onto the seat. “You too, Jewel.” The dog clambered onto the seat in the back and he heaved the door shut.
A moment later, he was in the driver’s seat, revving the engine, blasting the heat. She was soaked through to her skin. Water squished inside her shoes. She couldn’t feel her hands.
Aiden adjusted the vents so the heat blew directly onto her. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
The rumble of the engine and the warmth steaming up the car unlocked something inside her.
Haylee hadn’t welcomed Sage. She certainly hadn’t welcomed the baby. She had spent so much time and energy believing she’d deleted that chapter of her life when, in fact, it was only lying on the cutting room floor, waiting for the next version to be written.
And now that was happening. Except she was sitting here like a pawn to be moved about at the will of something outside herself.
Enough of that.
She yanked on the door handle before she’d had time to formulate her intentions. Jewel scrambled between her feet, nearly tripping her in her frantic attempt to not be left behind.
The cold rain felt even colder, after a few minutes in the warm car. She pushed through the fog to where the paramedics were loading Sage into the back of the ambulance.
“We’re about to leave,” said one of them.
“Sage?” called Haylee, ignoring him. “Sage, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. You deserve so much more than me and that’s what I tried to give you. But I screwed even that up.”
“She’s moving in and out of consciousness,” said the man, not unkindly. “She might not even hear you.”
Uniformed shoulders and elbows pressed around her but she went on, desperate now to get out the words she should have said weeks ago.
“I don’t care. I should have said this the minute I saw you again, Sage. I’ve missed you since the day you left. But I didn’t know what to do with that. I’m a mess, honey. I wanted to spare you from that. To protect you from, well, from me. Please, Sage, I’ll do better. Come back to me. Come home. Please.”
She touched the only part of her daughter she could reach, her shin, and squeezed lightly.
“Haylee?” murmured Sage. “Mom?”
The word sliced through her like a blade, cleaving her world into before, and after.
As it always had been. Only now, the timing was finally lining up.
“Sage.” Her voice broke. “I’m here.”
“Look after Sal, okay? Until I’m back?”
Sage’s voice faded away.
“We have to go, ma’am. You can follow us to the hospital, okay? But there’s no room for you here.”
Haylee nodded silently, her throat too tight for words.
She was Mom.
And Sage would be back.
She was going to hold her to that.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Our time began with a warm welcome, a cold glass of wine and a much-needed opportunity to unwind. At the end of the week, we left with a new sense of what’s important in life.”
—CorporateRaiderRay
The ambulance gave another whoop-whoop and sped out of the emergency bay at Sunset Bay Memorial, on its way to Mercy Medical, in Roseburg, on Aiden’s orders. Haylee watched it leave, feeling like a piece of her had accidentally attached to it and now she was unraveling by the second.
“I’ll sleep better knowing she’s there,” said Aiden. “She’s going to be okay, Haylee.”
She nodded. She wanted to believe him.
“We’ll go see her first thing in the morning, okay?” Aiden handed her a paper cup of tepid hot chocolate.
“Okay.” She ignored the drink. It smelled vile. “Thanks for looking after her.”
Aiden’s face fell. “Of course, Haylee. I care about her, too, you know.”
“I know. I appreciate it. You’ve been very kind.”
“What’s going on, Haylee?” he said.
“I’m tired. I want to be alone. Can you take me back to the ranch now?”
The adrenaline of the past few hours had left her hollowed out, drained. She needed to get back, to feed Jewel and Karma, to reassure Olivia and Daphne that all was well.
But was it? Against her wishes, she’d gone and fallen for Sage and Sal and now what? Sage was hurt and angry. She’d probably make up with Beverly and go back to raise her baby without Haylee’s inept presence. Or, she’d let someone else raise Sal, roll the dice of life and hope her baby got lucky.
Just as bad, or maybe worse, she’d fallen for Aiden, too.
Aiden gripped her shoulders. “Did I say something?”
She gave a sad little laugh. “No. You didn’t. Not at all.”
But someone else had. She’d heard them, when he was making arrangements for Sage. Too bad you’re not staying, Dr. Mac. We’re going to miss you.
“Then what?”
“I’m just tired, Aiden. Tired and . . . sad. I thought I could get involved with you, have a good time, and not be hurt when the time came for you to leave. But turns out, I was fooling myself.”
He gaped at her. “Is that what you think? That I’m leaving? That this has just been some fling for me?”
She wanted to lay her head down and sleep forever. “I don’t know, Aiden. I think you want another chance at a family and for a while, you thought maybe I was it. But you came here for a rest, to recover from your past and you’ve done that now. I heard them, Aiden. They’re going to miss you when you’re gone. Well, I will too. That’s all. I didn’t expect to fall for you, but I’ll get over it.”
“Haylee.” His face was stricken. “I haven’t figured out what I’m doing when this position ends, but trust me, I’m not leaving. I love you. And did you hear yourself? You care for me, too.”
She put her hands over her cheeks, trying to focus. “That doesn’t mean it’ll work, though, does it? People change, things happen and then, suddenly, they’re gone, leaving you with your heart in tatters, broken, ruined. You know it. I know it. If we care about each other at all, let’s spare ourselves the grief, okay?”
She sucked in a stuttering breath. “Sage and the baby will leave eventually, Aiden, and then you’d be stuck with me.”
A sob stuck in her throat. Olivia had been stuck with her. She’d put up with so much crap from her too, and never once had she tried to
get rid of her.
Aiden’s voice was tight. “I’m fond of your family, Haylee, but I want you. I love you.”
“You only think you do,” she said in an agonized whisper. “I was fine until you came here, Aiden. Now I’m not fine. You should go, before you ruin me completely.”
He put his arm around her and led her to his car. They didn’t speak on the drive back to the ranch. When they arrived at her cabin, he helped her out, led her to the bedroom, unbuttoned her jacket and took off her shoes. He tucked her into bed and held her while she shivered and she was helpless to resist.
Eventually, she slept.
* * *
Aiden awakened to Jewel’s cold nose nudging his face. He’d fallen asleep on Haylee’s couch. He ought to get used to it, he thought, scraping his hand along his stubbled jaw. Bette Davis would be joining him as soon as Elsie and Anton’s daughter and son-in-law were finished emptying the cabin. Unlike him, they’d not been entirely shocked by the elderly couple’s choice. They’d known, as he had known, how very sick Anton was. But Aiden had never expected Elsie to die with her husband.
He padded around Haylee’s kitchen, quietly feeding Jewel her breakfast, waiting for the light to go on in the main house. As soon as he saw it, he walked up to talk with Daphne. Their conversation was brief and to the point. He drove to town to shower, change, and send a few e-mails.
Then he headed straight for Roseburg. Now that he knew what he was doing, that he had a plan and was finally implementing it, he felt like he’d shed twenty pounds.
The hospital was everything he’d heard it was. Sage was doing well. She’d needed surgery to repair a small splenic laceration, as he’d feared, but the procedure had gone well. He talked with the chief of staff, the head of the emergency department, and several of the nurses, but he didn’t go into Sage’s room.
He waited outside until he got a text from Olivia. Haylee had arrived.
He got up, his heart thumping in his chest, unable to wait a second longer to see her again.
She came around the corner clutching a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and holding Karma’s leash in the other. Aiden could see her mentally holding her shredded courage around her shoulders like a ragged shawl she’d pulled out of the Goodwill basket.
She loved her daughter and she didn’t even know it.
“Aiden?” She started when she saw him. “When did you get here?”
“Never mind that,” he said. “Your girl is doing fine.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I thought you were gone.”
“I wanted to check on her. Go on in. She’s waiting for you.”
Olivia met his gaze as she entered Sage’s room. Daphne squeezed his arm and winked.
“Aren’t you coming in?” she said.
He held back. “Family only. I’ll be in the waiting room.”
It was only five minutes later when Haylee found him.
“Thank you,” she whispered, taking his hand. “You don’t know what this means to me.”
He smiled up at her and tugged her into the chair next to him. “I might have some idea.”
His smile faded. His heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. He cleared his throat. “Haylee,” he began.
“Don’t,” she said, stopping him with a finger to his lips. “You were right.”
“No,” he said, “you were right. Let me say this, Haylee. I have to say it.” He took a breath. “I’m sorry. I’ve made assumptions I had no business making. I pushed you and I judged you—”
“You made me face some hard truths, Aiden.” She swallowed. “I didn’t appreciate it, but you weren’t wrong.”
“You made me face a few too. I do want a family again. I didn’t think I could bear it but a friend of mine made me think again.” Elsie’s words rang in his mind. “I love you, Haylee. I know you might not be ready for this, and you have no reason to believe me. I’m not going back to Portland. I’ve taken a job here, at Roseburg. It’s close to Sunset Bay. I want to get to know you properly. I want you to teach me about dogs and horseback riding and planting potatoes or whatever else you guys do on that ranch of yours. I want to get to know your daughter and your granddaughter. I want to be there while you learn about being a mom and a grandma.”
She gave a choking laugh. To him, it was the sound of hope. She hadn’t shown him the door. Maybe he still had a chance.
“I’m a grandma.” She shook her head, wonderingly. “You’re really staying?”
He nodded. “I am. Is that okay?”
She bit her lip. “You came to me about a dog. I never got you one, so I guess we’re not done with each other yet. And besides that, I love you.”
His heart soared. They did have a chance. That’s all anyone could ask for.
Epilogue
“Horses are big
Dogs love to play ball
A Sunset Bay Christmas
Is the best gift of all.”
—SleepyPoetCowgirl
Three months later: Haylee stood in the kitchen, out of sight of the dining room table, her hands braced on the counter. She hung her head over the farmhouse sink and took deep breaths in and out, slowly, willing her stomach to settle.
Jewel was licking mashed potatoes and gravy from a plate in the corner and the slurping noise wasn’t helping matters.
At the touch of Aiden’s hand on her back, she opened her eyes.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
“If I can’t keep Daphne’s turkey down,” she replied, shakily, “I’m a dead woman.”
Aiden chuckled. “I think she’ll cut you some slack when she finds out the reason.”
Haylee moaned and dropped her head even lower. “I don’t know how to tell them. They’re going to be so happy. But they’re also going to laugh at me until the end of time. You’re a doctor, for God’s sake. We’re intelligent adults.”
“Yes, we are.” The pride in his voice would have been annoying, except that Haylee also heard the joy.
He pulled her into his arms and tucked her head against the solid warmth of his chest. She heard the strong thump of his heart in her ear and it reminded her of the rhythmic beat they’d heard on the ultrasound yesterday that confirmed the reality she’d barely begun to suspect.
They were having a baby.
“I’m a man in love. I’ll take the hit. You can blame it all on me, tell them I can’t keep my hands off you.”
She laughed through her tears. “I could say that.”
She wasn’t a teary person. But so much had changed in the past few months. As if the fact of the baby wasn’t enough of a shock, she found herself desperately, completely wanting it.
Desperately, completely terrified, too.
But Aiden’s reaction had gone a long way toward easing her fears. When she’d shown him the positive pregnancy test, he’d swung her into his arms and told her that, next to her agreeing to consider moving in with him, that it was the best news of his life.
“They won’t believe you, of course, with the way you throw yourself at me.”
She pushed away and swatted at him, feeling better. “I think I can face dessert now. Let’s go before they get suspicious. I’ll figure out a way to break the news, when the time is right.”
They rejoined the group at the table. Daphne had gone all out to make this first Christmas with Sage, and Sal’s first Christmas ever, special. The dining room was festive with lights and cedar boughs strung above the windows and the table practically groaned with the weight of food on it. There were cookies and chocolate and fruitcake and mandarin oranges on the sideboard, along with spiced apple cider and mulled wine so fragrant you could smell it from the cabins.
Every doorway held a sprig of mistletoe which had been put to good use. Sage had kissed Sal, Olivia had kissed Gayle, Ezra had kissed Daphne and Jamie had managed to land smooches on Huck, Ezra and Duke, though Tyler and Gideon had evaded her thus far. Haylee was pretty sure Gideon was her main target.
Sage
had created centerpieces of holly and ivy and had even surprised them all with handmade cards at each place setting.
Haylee’s had been addressed to Haylee-Mom-Grandma. Which hadn’t helped the happy-tears situation.
“Pumpkin or lemon meringue?” Daphne held her pie server toward them.
Haylee’s stomach lurched. “Maybe later. I’m stuffed.”
“I’ll eat hers then,” Aiden said. “One of each, if I may. They look fantastic.”
Daphne looked at Olivia and Gayle, then cut two slices and handed them to Aiden. “What were you two doing in there?”
“Nothing.” Haylee glanced around the table. Olivia and Gayle were trying unsuccessfully to hide smiles. “What?”
Daphne rolled her eyes. “You have nothing to tell us?”
Haylee turned to Aiden, accusingly.
He held up his hands. “Don’t look at me.”
“Or me,” Olivia said.
“Or me,” Gayle added.
“What’s going on?” Sage asked, offering a bit of applesauce to Sal.
“You’re getting a sister or brother,” Huck explained.
Haylee’s lips parted, but she had no words.
“Oh, that.” Sage wiped Sal’s mouth.
“What . . . ?” Haylee didn’t know what to object to first, their knowledge of the fact, or how long they were pretending to have known about it.
“Come on, honey.” Daphne reached across the table and patted Haylee’s hand. “You can’t get anything by Granny Daffy. Not to mention, Huck takes the garbage out. And Olivia’s been through this before with you.”
“And, hello.” Sage waved. “I’m familiar with the process, too.”
“I’d like to say I predicted this back in summer, but even I didn’t see it turning out this well,” Gayle said. Her eyes grew soft. “We couldn’t be happier for you both.”
Their beaming faces made Haylee’s throat close. There was so much love in this room.
“I guess the pregnant one is always the last to know,” she said, with a shaky laugh.
“Nope.” Aiden put his arm over her shoulders, then leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I’ll happily take that prize. Though I’ve already gotten the best prize of all.”
Sunset Bay Sanctuary Page 27