by Zack Zombie
This was a different way of eating than I was used to, but I decided to give it a go. I picked up a tray and made my way to the front of the line.
There was a strange looking woman standing behind the food. She reminded me of one of the sheep in Minecraft. She also looked like she was way too hot and didn’t want to be there.
“Mash or jacket?” she shouted at me.
I paused. I had no idea what she was talking about. Mash or jacket? I knew a jacket was a piece of clothing, but why she was saying that when I was trying to select my food, I had no idea.
“Do you want a jacket?” she said, her glare becoming more intense.
I looked around and peered over the back of the food counter. A jacket? What was this weird woman talking about? I wasn’t cold and even if I wanted a jacket, I had no idea where she was going to pull one out from.
Eventually, the woman gave up asking and placed a cooked potato onto my plate. I got a few more weird items and went and sat on a spare table in the corner of the room.
It was the only available table with just one other person sitting there.
As I sat down, a scrawny looking boy with metal rails in his mouth spoke.
“Ah! You got a jacket too!”
I was beginning to think everyone had gone crazy. I wasn’t wearing a jacket and he wasn’t either. The entire last five minutes of conversation were nuts!
I was obviously looking at him in a weird way, so he explained himself.
“A jacket—a jacket potato.”
Why they’d name a potato after a clothing garment I have no idea.
The teacher watching the lunchroom said we could go outside to play once we had finished eating. That sounded great to me because the boy sitting at my table spat food in my face every time he spoke.
Plus, I had a plan. I wanted to impress Molly, and had a great idea of how to do it.
While all the other kids ran around on the yard, I headed to the small wooded area next to the main entrance of the school. There were about a dozen trees there. They were just what I needed.
I found a large plastic bag and climbed the first tree. My plan was to take down as many leaves as I possibly could.
I shook the branches and picked off the ones that wouldn’t fall. Eventually, my job was done. I stood back to admire my work. Yes! Not a single leaf left on any of the trees.
As everyone else continued to play outside, I sneaked back into school carrying the bag over my shoulder. As I entered through the main doors, I glanced around and hoped no one had seen me.
I walked as quietly as I could through the school to my locker, opened the slightly dented door and stashed the bag full of leaves inside. I had no idea what girls wore to a school dance, but I had a feeling a dress made out of leaves would probably make Molly look really good.
However, no sooner had I closed the locker door, than Mr. Ivanitch came bounding down the corridor with Brett Biseps at his side.
“There he is, sir!” Brett said. “He did it. I saw him.”
“Where are they?” Mr. Ivanitch cried, wagging his red, smelly finger at me.
“Where are what?”
“The leaves!” Mr. Ivanitch shouted. “All the leaves from the trees have gone missing. Brett here said he saw you take them.”
“Me?” I questioned, glancing at my locker to make sure I’d closed it properly.
“Yes, you!” the teacher continued. “There’s no one else here, is there?”
“Check his pockets, sir!” Brett shouted.
Brett was not the sharpest tool in the Minecraft chest. How he thought I’d stash thousands of leaves into two small pockets was beyond me.
“Check in his shoes, sir!” Brett then demanded.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Brett,” Mr. Ivanitch said. “We’re talking about thousands of leaves here.”
“Check in his locker then, Mr. Ivanitch,” Brett shouted.
I glared at Brett, but as I had no pupils, I don’t think he noticed.
“Great idea, Brett. I need to see inside you locker, now!” Mr. Ivanitch ordered.
“My locker?”
“Yes, open it up!”
“No need, sir,” Brett chipped in. “Herobrine’s lock doesn’t lock. Look!”
Brett stepped forward and pulled the locker door open. As he did, the entire bag of leaves toppled onto the corridor floor as the rest of the school filed in from lunch break.
Everyone started giggling.
“Leaf thief,” someone shouted.
“What on Earth were you planning on doing with all these leaves?” Mr. Ivanitch asked.
The whole corridor fell silent. I could tell that everyone was curious.
“I… err… w-w-wanted to c-c-clean them?”
“Clean them?” the teacher thundered. “Ridiculous. What’s the real reason?”
I realized I had to tell the truth. I hung my head and mumbled the answer.
“I was planning on using them to make a dress for Molly. A dress she could wear to the dance.”
“What?!” the teacher laughed.
Seemed like a good idea at the time, I thought. But the rest of the school, including Mr. Ivanitch, couldn’t stop laughing.
I looked up and searched for Molly in the crowd, but she was gone. I couldn’t see her anywhere. As I stretched up to see if she had moved to the back, Mr. Ivanitch grabbed my arm and marched me down the corridor to the principal’s office.
Man, it was only my first day of human Middle school and I was already in trouble!
Chapter 6
Hogwash’s Office
“I knew it!” Principal Hogwash bellowed as he led me to a chair and forced me into it. “I knew that letting a Minecraft mob come to my school would end up being a huge mistake! This had disaster written all over it, but no, no, I had to listen to the people from Mojang, didn’t I? They told me to give you kids from the “other” world a chance, but it’s all gone just as I expected.”
I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too busy thinking about Molly Sparklton.
Suddenly, the principal broke my concentration when he raised his voice a notch.
“Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?”
I guess he couldn’t tell because of my vacant expression… Or because of my lack of pupils.
I stared at him blankly and nodded.
“Good!” he continued. “Then, let’s put this behind us. Back to your classroom and no more stealing school vegetation.”
He waved me towards the door and began rummaging through his desk draws. As I left the room, I could hear him muttering to himself.
“Now, where did I put that glue? See if I can get those leaves stuck back on before the PTA meeting.”
I shut the office door behind me and walked back towards the classroom. I was terrified of showing my face again. I had been humiliated in front of the entire school. However, I still wanted Molly to be my friend as she was the only one who had been nice to me.
Luckily, the ‘leaf dress’ project wasn’t my only idea. And while everyone was in class, I decided to put my next plan into practice. All I needed was some sand.
I sneaked out of the rear exit of the school before any teachers saw me and headed towards the sports field, grabbing an empty bucket on the way.
I had no idea what Molly liked, but I felt sure my next offering would be right up her alley.
The playground was empty. I headed to the sand pit and scooped out a bucket full of sand. Then, I headed back to school, trying to spill as little of the sand as possible.
Sneaking back into school was more difficult. The previous lesson had just finished and kids were on their way to their next one. I needed to get into the locker area, but it was jammed with kids.
I would have to wait.
Just then, a shadow loomed over me. It was Mr. Ivanitch. He was scratching under his chin and looking very confused.
“What are you doing now, Herobrine? And what are you hiding?”
I had thrust the bucket of sand behind my back.
“Come on, boy!” Mr. Ivanitch shouted. “What are you hiding?”
I held the bucket in front of me.
“A bucket of sand!” exclaimed a confused Mr. Ivanitch. “Why on Earth are you holding a bucket of sand?”
“Err… fire drill,” I replied.
Mr. Ivanitch looked at the bucket and then back at me.
“Wasn’t notified,” he said. “Who authorized it?”
“Principal Hogwash,” I replied.
“It’s a very small bucket,” the teacher noticed.
“It’s a very small fire drill, sir.”
He stared at me for what felt like an entire minute, but he believed it! I couldn’t believe my luck.
He went on his way and gradually the kids in the corridor dispersed.
Once the coast was clear, I moved in. My destination was locker 623. That was Molly Sparklton’s locker. With no one around, I got to work.
I didn’t have any tools with me, so I had to use my hands. It made the job tougher, but the result was better than I had expected. Within two or three minutes, I had created three perfectly formed sand pyramids in front of Molly’s locker. Now, what 12-year-old girl wouldn’t be impressed by that?
As I finished the last one, some other school kids walked briskly down the corridor toward me. They had been in the Geography class and now were heading out on to their next one.
As they approach the sand pyramids, I was still on my knees finishing the job.
“What’s the freak doing now?” Brett Biseps laughed.
I looked up at Molly. “They’re for you,” I said.
“Oh, Herobrine. What am I supposed to do with those?” Molly said with some sympathy.
“Oh! I hadn’t really thought about that. Just look at them I guess.”
“Or kick ‘em down!” Brett shouted as he smashed his foot through each of the micro pyramids. All that was left was a scattering of sand across the corridor floor.
“What a pathetic loser!” Brett laughed.
“I bet you couldn’t create something like that,” Molly suddenly snapped at the Brett.
“Nope! And why would I?”
I didn’t know what to do. This human world is so weird! I couldn’t understand why no one liked the pyramids I built.
Everybody loves them in Minecraft, I thought. Especially the underwater ones.
I wandered along to the janitor’s closet, grabbed a broom and swept all the sand back into the bucket.
I headed back to the playground to dump the sand and then took a long, slow walk around the school grounds. So far, I had tried everything. But no matter what I did, I just didn’t fit in.
I strolled back to the playground and past the cafeteria. It was then that I spotted someone lurking in the shadows near the cafeteria building. I was shocked. That was usually my move.
I headed towards them to see who it was.
Chapter 7
Meet Lucy Lurker
“Don’t come any closer,” the figure in the shadows whispered in a low scratchy voice.
“I just want to say ‘hello!’” I replied.
“Well, I don’t. I want to be alone.”
“Me too!” I replied.
“Then why did you come over to talk to me?”
“To say, ‘hello!’”
The whole conversation seemed to be going around in circles, so I just walked towards her and leaned against the wall.
“My name’s Herobrine,” I said. “What’s yours?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Err… yeah! That’s why I asked.”
The girl was dressed in all black. She had black hair, black lips and black fingernails. She reminded me of some of the zombies back home.
“My name’s Lucy. Lucy Lurker,” she said. “I like hanging out in this corner. I can keep an eye on everyone and no one bothers me…usually!”
“That’s exactly how I feel,” I replied. “It’s easier staying out of it, even if people think you’re a bit weird.”
“Who says I’m weird?” Lucy snapped.
“Oh! No one! I was just saying… Maybe I’m weird.”
“You’re not weird,” Lucy continued. “I’ve been watching you. You’re just a bit strange. That’s all.”
“I’m no stranger than you,” I said. “You like hanging out in the background too.”
“Yeah,” Lucy laughed. “But I don’t have a square head or missing eyeballs.”
She had a point.
“Look, maybe I can help you,” Lucy Lurker said with a shrug. “As I said, I’ve been watching you, and you like Molly right?”
“Yeah!”
“And you want her to be your girlfriend?”
“Definitely!”
“I know her pretty well. We live on the same street. I’ll find out if she likes you.”
“Would you?” I asked as I felt a smile work its way across my face.
“Sure. That’s what I just said, wasn’t it? I’ll talk to her after school.”
Lucy creeped away.
For a second, I felt hopeful. But what if she was just saying that to play with my head? Or to get rid of me?
The school day was almost over. Everything that could have gone wrong had gone wrong. All I wanted to do was fit in, but when you have a haunting face, a square head, and no pupils, you know life in the human world is never going to be easy.
Chapter 8
School’s Out!
I hid amongst the leafless trees until the bell rang at the end of day.
The kids flooded out onto the main steps twice as fast as they had flooded in a few hours earlier. Some had bikes and headed to the bike rack and others just headed for the school gate. I caught sight of Molly and Brett. I didn’t want them to see me. I was too embarrassed to talk to Molly and I knew Brett would just mess with me again. I took a few steps backwards, hid behind one of the thick tree trunks and watched.
Brett headed for the bike rack. Molly headed for the gate. But where was Lucy Lurker? Without her I had no chance of finding out if Molly wanted to be my girlfriend.
Then, I saw her. Like me, she stayed away from crowds. Once most of the kids had left the school entrance, she scurried out and moved quickly in Molly’s direction. As Molly moved through the school gates and turned at the street corner, Lucy almost made it to her side.
Since I had nowhere to go for the rest of the afternoon, I decided to follow them. I wasn’t being creepy, or stalking them or anything. I just had nowhere else to be. Really…
I wasn’t great at running, so I walked quickly to catch up. It took me a while because they moved pretty fast.
I wanted to get close enough to hear what they were saying, but keep far enough away that they couldn’t see me. The good thing is that I’m really good at that.
I moved quietly behind them and then hid close to a mail box. I could hear Molly talking.
“Yeah, he’s cute I guess, for a guy with a square head. But he’s kinda weird. What’s with the sand pyramids? Why would he think any girl would like those? And when I’m talking to him, I can’t tell if he’s really paying attention.”
As Molly and Lucy continued to walk, they moved too far ahead for me to be able to hear. I had to creep forwards once again. They stopped to cross the street and I hid behind a small car parked in someone’s driveway.
The girls crossed and I went to move, but something was holding me back… It was somebody’s dog!
“Hey! Nice doggy!” I said, trying to shake him off of me. “Let go, will you?”
The dog wouldn’t let go. It obviously didn’t like the fact I was on his owner’s property.
Suddenly, the front door of the house opened and a huge man came out. He had a phone in his hand. It seemed that I was in trouble again.
“Don’t let go of him, Pickles,” the man said to his dog.
Pickles? Not the best name for a drooling, mob-eating beast!
“Hello! Yes, is this the police?” the man said into his phone. “I’ve got a weird square creature in my front yard. Looks like a kid, but it has a really big, square head, and no eyes.”
Oh, man! This meant trouble. I shook my leg as hard as I could until the dog briefly let go. In that moment, I grabbed my chance. I moved out of the yard as quickly as I could. The street was clear and I speed-hobbled across it in the direction Molly and Lucy had gone. Just as I reached the other side, the traffic changed and cars zoomed by behind me, blocking the street. The dog barked furiously at me. It seemed I had escaped.
There were two streets ahead of me. I had no idea which one the girls had moved down. I took a guess and kept walking. Soon, I turned a corner and saw them. Unfortunately, they had stopped for a chat. They were sitting on a low wall and Molly turned and stared straight at me. I couldn’t think of anything to do other than stand deadly still and stare back at her.
“What’s he doing?” I heard Molly ask Lucy.
“What makes you think I know?” Lucy Lurker replied.
“He’s a bit of a stalker, isn’t he?”
“Come on. Let’s get going,” Lucy said, shaking her head at me. I know I wasn’t making things any easier.
I was scared to move as they picked up pace and then ran around the next corner. I’d lost them. I’d just have to wait for Lucy to report back on what Molly had to say.
For the rest of the night I kept a low profile around town. Not only did I want to stay out of the way of my classmates, but I had a feeling the police were now looking for me as well. I hid in alleyways and on dark street corners where the street lamps had gone out. Occasionally, a person walking their dog or a stray cat would spot me from a distance and run off screaming. I guess it was the eyes that freaked them out.