He drags a fingertip over my arm. His face is calm, loving, but traitorous tears spring to my eyes, which is stupid. Carter is a bit of sore subject for me at the moment. I’m so glad I’m wearing sunglasses so Elijah can’t see my eyes.
“He’ll probably be there.”
Elijah is quiet for a moment too long, but as I’m about to speak, he does. “Should I be worried?”
I shake my head. “No. Not at all, we’re friends, only friends, and I mean that. I told you that we weren’t on speaking terms.” He nods his head. “Well, that’s not exactly true. We spoke before you and I met on that flight to Australia. It was slow going in rebuilding the friendship, but a few months ago he called me out of the blue and we finally got over the awkwardness that’s been plaguing us. I mean, I forgave him before that trip, but it took time to get us back.” I glance over at Eli. He looks like he’s thinking, maybe perplexed, but not angry.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want you to worry, and for most of that time, you were on location filming, and we barely spoke.”
I’m still feeling a little raw from dealing with my feelings for Carter, not that I pine for him or anything, it’s the whole situation and having lost my best friend for years. And yes, I feel guilty for not telling Elijah, which has made making up with Carter a little harder.
He’s quiet for a long time, so long that I worry he really is angry. “Are you mad?” I ask.
He looks over at me with hurt in his eyes. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“Honestly, it wasn’t intentional. Like I said, you were away, and I was busy working, I kind of forgot.”
He snorts. “That’s a big ‘forgot’.”
“I really did. I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.”
“You should have,” he says, with slightly furrowed brows. “Do you talk every day?”
“No. Just random texts, or on social media messenger, but we’ve spoken on the phone a couple of times. He wants to Skype, but I haven’t yet. I wanted to tell you before I talked to him face to face.”
“It’s fine.” He seems dismissive, but after a few seconds he continues. He’s driving me a bit nuts with all the pausing. “I wish you would have told me sooner. It makes it seem like you’re hiding something from me, but I trust you and don’t think you’d purposefully hide anything.” He looks up at the sky then back at me. “It’s hard for me, because he hurt you. He was supposed to be your closest friend, your boyfriend. Plus, he did something awful, so awful you haven’t told me. I don’t understand how you can still be his friend.”
I know he would understand if I told him. He was cheated on a couple of relationships ago, but they weren’t friends for their whole lives before that happened. That makes a difference, doesn’t it? I should’ve told him. I was being stupid. It was painful to talk about when we first started dating, and as time passed it seemed like a moot point.
“I wasn’t for a long time,” I finally say. “But, we have been friends since we were five years old. His mom is close to my gran, it’s inevitable that he’ll be in my life, but I promise you, he is just my friend and will only ever be that.”
He pulls me to him and gives me a quick kiss. “I believe you, but don’t get mad if I get a little jealous.” He gives me a wink which he knows makes me swoon. “I get crazy when I think some guy is even looking at you too long, but with him...” His eyes look down for a moment before finding mine again. “You’ve been his before. If he wants you again …”
I press my finger to his lips to stop whatever else he was going to say. “It’s not happening again. I don’t want him like I want you. I love you, Elijah. Carter is my best friend, or at least we are trying to work back to that, but we will never be together as a couple again.”
He nods. “I get it. Be patient with me?”
“I will,” I whisper before kissing him.
“Will you tell me why you broke up?”
I sigh. “I should have told you before. I was so embarrassed for so long. I couldn’t even think about him or what happened.”
“I get that.” He holds my hand as we float side by side, facing each other.
“I walked in on him having intercourse with my roommate. I was absolutely humiliated. We’d promised to be each other’s first. We were going to get married after we graduated.”
I’m surprised to find that I don’t have that pain or embarrassment like I thought I would in telling him this. Elijah smiles sadly at me, but there’s an underlying smirk. I’m sure because I said ‘intercourse’. Silly boy. He doesn’t comment on that, for which I’m grateful.
“I understand what that’s like. You know the girl I dated before Keira cheated on me with my friend.”
I nod. He told me that story a few months after we started dating. I should have told him then about Carter. I don’t know why I didn’t. That’s not true. The pain of losing what I had always dreamed was still a little too real. Besides, at that point, I wasn’t exactly sure that Elijah and I would last. I couldn’t be that vulnerable in front of him.
“It was awful,” I finally continue. “I’ve never felt so unhinged before, but I’m totally over it now. I keep thinking that, I’m just as human, I could have made the same mistake. I may even be somewhat responsible.”
He scoffs at me. “How in the world are you responsible?”
This time I do blush. “Well, at that time I didn’t do anything physical other than hold hands or a light kiss on the cheek. If I would have at least done something, maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to find it elsewhere.”
Elijah balks, splashing water as he sits up swiftly. “Whoa, whoa! Sophia Elizabeth Parker, it is in no way your fault. You have standards. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If a guy loves you, he’ll respect that. I respect the hell out of you.” I glare at the curse. He holds up his hand. “I’m sorry, but I do, Sophie. Is that why you kiss me and let me touch you?”
I groan and sink down into the water, but before I can get all the way under he pulls me up. “Is it?” He asks again.
I shake my head, nod, then shake again. “I really don’t know.”
He looks at me with what I’ll describe as exasperational pity. Yes, I realize it’s not a word, but it explains his face perfectly. He pulls me onto his float. “Sophie.” He squeezes me to him tightly. “I’m so sorry if you’ve felt forced to do things you aren’t comfortable with.” I shake my head, traitorous tears roll down my cheeks. Elijah removes my sunglasses and wipes my face. “Baby, talk to me.”
I lean in and kiss him softly. “I don’t feel forced into anything we do. Carter and I kissed in high school. He even touched my breasts a few times,” I sigh, snort, and shake my head at my own stupidity. “But we went to this church camp the summer before college. It was like every message was about saving yourself to save your soul. I was so worried that I’d already condemned myself that I cut Carter off to everything except holding hands and a peck on the cheek. I feel like I drove him to cheat. So, that may have influenced my decisions with you to begin with, but I like what we do.”
“I really don’t know what to say about all that, Sophie. It’s way out of my realm. I grew up in two countries with very liberal parents. My mom gave me a box of condoms for my sixteenth birthday and told me to have safe fun. But I do know one thing, and that’s that I respect you so much. You aren’t like anyone I’ve ever met. You completely beguile me, and I mean that as the sincerest of compliments. I love, honor, and cherish the fact that you want to save yourself for your husband. It’s such an old fashion tradition, but it’s an honorable one, and honestly it’s so you.” My face must show a great deal of confusion, because he gives me a small smile before explaining further. “I mean, you don’t conform to the societal norms in general, so why would I expect you to in this. Actually, I don’t want you to. I love you exactly how you are.”
I’m bawling by this point. Oh, Fiddlesticks, my mascar
a! He hugs me to him, peppering kisses on my forehead and hair. “You really know how to charm a girl.”
“I just want to charm you.” He lifts my chin and kisses me, maybe a little too deeply, but I allow it after that declaration.
We swim, play, and relax in the pool all afternoon, and then make our way to the showers before having dinner. After we eat and watch a movie, he takes me back to my hotel for the evening. I hate living in a hotel, but I haven’t gotten up the courage to spend any of the money I’ve made from my books or movie deal. Of course, I do use my money for necessities, but I mean a huge purchase like a home or a car. Though, a car will probably be my first purchase. Elijah has insisted that my guard, Josh, uses his car for now, but I’d love the freedom to just get in my own car and go. Maybe after the interest and speculations of Elijah and I wears off, I can.
As I’m opening the door to my room my cell rings. Grinning, I answer, “I literally just left you.”
He chuckles. “I hate being away from you. Did you get in your room okay?”
“Yep, just did.”
“Good. Sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning. Love you, Sophie.”
“I love you, too. See you in the morning.”
~*~
I go through my nightly routine then settle into bed with my laptop. I don’t know what possess me to do it, but I search for photos of Keira, Elijah’s ex. They dated for about a year and ended on good terms. She’s super nice, and what my gran would call ‘high falutin’. You can tell she has more money than sense, but she’s sweet. I’d even go as far as to say we’re friends. I know Elijah cares for her and likes her, as a friend of course, but I can’t help feeling jealous. People used to comment all the time on how in love they were and how they wished their man looked at them the way Elijah looked at her. No one has said that about us.
I stare at one of the last pictures that was taken of them before their breakup. They were at an opening of one of her movies. He’s staring down at her, and people are right, he did gaze at her like she hung the moon. I pull up a picture that Eli’s mom snapped of us a few weeks ago. We are both looking at each other, much like Keira and Elijah were. Is he looking at me the same way? Would people say he’s looking at me like I hung the moon?
Another stupid whim hits me, and I text the two pictures to Elijah with the tag line: What were you thinking in each picture?
Less than a minute later my phone is ringing. “Why are you asking me that?” he asks before I can even say hello.
I sigh, running my hand through my hair and feeling totally stupid. “I … I don’t know. Just forget it.”
“No, babe. I’m not forgetting it. Did someone say something to you?”
“No one said anything. I was just trying to … I don’t even know what I was trying to do. I’m dumb and insecure. Just forget it please?”
He blows out a heavy breath. “Sophie, the way I feel for you doesn’t even hold a candle to my feelings for Keira.”
“Okay, that’s good enough for me. I’m sorry for being insecure. I’m going to go to bed.” I feel totally stupid and want off the phone to end my embarrassment. I don’t know how I’ll face him tomorrow.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just really tired. We have a lot going on tomorrow.”
“Okay. I love you, Sophie.”
“I know, and I love you.” We end the call and my humiliation.
I put the laptop away, and head into the living area and pull out a yoga video. I need a distraction. I’m in Balasana or Child’s pose, when there’s an urgent knock at my suite door. Exasperated by the interruption, I slowly lift myself from my position and pad over to the door and the incessant knocking. I rip the door open quickly, and the next second, hands wrap around my face and lips close in on mine. I’m startled, but not afraid. The door is kicked closed and what seems like the next second my back is being pressed into the couch cushions as his heavyweight settles on top of me.
When his lips move to my neck, I gasp for breath. “Eli.”
He pulls back eyes looking wild. “You are everything to me. I would die without you, Sophia.”
I cup his face as tears spring to my eyes. “You’re everything to me, that’s what scares me so much. I’ve never felt this deeply for anyone.”
“Don’t be afraid, sweetheart. I’m in this with you. I promise you my feelings for you are deep and true. Please don’t read or believe anything on those stupid gossip rags.” I pull him back to me, but as always, before we get too carried away he pulls back, bringing me with him as he sits up. “Promise me you’ll stop reading them.” He runs his hands over my hair, smoothing it.
“It wasn’t that. It’s just my stupid brain.”
He smiles sadly at me. “I hate that who I am causes you pain.”
I tuck my hair behind my ears before responding. I really don’t know what to say, because his job does hurt me sometimes, even though I try hard to ignore everything. “You’re worth it.”
“I’m not so sure, but I’m too selfish to let you go.”
I crawl into his lap, hugging him tightly. “Please don’t let me go.”
His arms wrap tightly around me as he buries his face in my neck. “Never,” he whispers.
We sit wrapped up in each other for a long while until my yawn breaks our bubble. He kisses me softly. “I should let you get to sleep.”
I pull back some and peek at him. “Will you stay?”
He nods. “Sure, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
I shake my head. “No, sleep in my bed. I just want you to hold me.”
“You sure?” I nod. “I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”
“We’re both adults. We’ve talked about our boundaries. I just feel very … I don’t even know how to explain it. I just need you close.”
“Say no more. I’m here for you no matter what.” I move to get up, but he holds me tighter and stands up with me in his arms.
“You’re going to hurt yourself.”
He scoffs. “You are insane. You barely weigh one-hundred pounds. I lift more than that when training.”
I roll my eyes. I weigh one-twenty, but I won’t be telling him that. He kind of throws me on the bed, making me bounce and giggle. “Boxers and a tee-shirt okay?” I nod, and he undoes his jeans as he stares at me. Maybe this is a bad idea. “Soph?” I meet his eyes. “If you keep staring at me like that, especially while you’re biting your lip, we won’t be holding true to those boundaries we’ve discussed.”
I shake my head and stand. “I’ll just go get ready …” I trail off as I point to the bathroom. I hear him laughing as the door clicks shut.
I give him a few minutes as I piddle around since I’m already dressed for bed, and I hadn’t gotten much done in yoga to warrant a shower. Drawing a deep breath, I open the door to find him under the covers on the bed. He throws back the blankets on my side and motions for me to come to him. Once I’m settled, he shuts off the light and kisses my head as we snuggle together. I don’t remember falling asleep, but I jerk awake when a loud nasally British voice meets my ears.
“Sophia! Wakey wakey,” she calls.
I groan. Elijah yawns and stretches, releasing me from his hold. “I’ll get rid of her,” I mumble as I fall out of bed and pad heavily to the bedroom door and fling it open. “What are you doing here so early?”
She just stares at me with an expression of contrition on her pinched face. “Sophia, I’ve tried ringing your mobile for the past two hours! It’s ten am. We need to discuss the details of your upcoming tour. I’ll be leaving today to return to New York, and you will be leaving for your little trip down south. I couldn’t simplify the info in a text. You know how I find electronic communication.” She fusses.
“Yes, it’s simply dreadful,” I say in a mocking British accent. “So, where’s my itinerary, Amy?”
She glares at me. “It’s Amelia, thank you!”
“It’s Sophia, thank you.
”
“Touché.”
She opens her messenger bag and hands me a stack of papers. I’m just sitting down with them at the little table in the kitchenette, when Elijah comes out of the room, yawning and scratching his belly. He’s still wearing his tee-shirt and boxers. Amelia’s eyes grow wide.
“Mr. Stone, I didn’t know you were here. I’m sorry to have wakened you.”
He looks at her with a raised eyebrow. “No worries, Amy. Tea?” He asks holding up the kettle.
“Oh, that’s very kind of you, but I have some.” She lifts her cup to show him.
He nods at her then turns to me. “Hot chocolate, baby?”
“Yes, please. Thank you.” I blush.
Amelia eyes me, but I pay her no mind as I continue to peruse my schedule. My eyes grow wide. “Oh, Mylanta!” I gasp, placing my hand over my chest.
Elijah, chuckles. “Uh oh, it must be something big. He sets my cup of hot chocolate in front of me. I point to the paper. His smile broadens. “That’s fantastic, sweetheart.” He kisses my head.
I look up at Amelia. “How in the world did you get me booked on Wake Up America?”
“Your talent alone got you on there, babe. I’ll be right back.” Elijah sets his coffee on the table then jogs to the bedroom.
“They want to talk about your book and the movie. I told them any talk of Mr. Stone is forbidden.”
I shake my head. “This is crazy.” Never in a million years did I think I’d one day be on this show. They only have the best of the best.
“Hey, looks like I’ll be in New York shooting some second takes,” Elijah says as he returns with his jeans on and phone in hand.
“I can be sure to get with Adam to make sure there are no conflicts and have you in separate hotels.” Amelia picks up her iPad and starts to tap away.
“No!” She jumps startled at Elijah’s loud defiance. “No, I’m tired of all the sneaking around. We were on Winters’ show. We did fine together. People are going to speculate all they want. I don’t care. I’m not hiding anymore. You can book us in the same suite.”
“Eli …” I start, but he interrupts.
Fame & Consequences Page 4