I had a son to take care of.
Chapter 14
Rock
Jesus Christ, what was I doing? It was as if the taste I’d had of Allie back in Cedar Key had turned me into an addict, and she was my drug of choice. We’d been out of control, fucking lunatics screwing our brains out when we’d been together years ago, but the feelings she evoked in me now were nothing compared to then. How the fuck was I going to live under the same roof with her, and not have her?
It was my fault that we were in this situation. Things could have been worked out differently had we taken the time to think it over, had I not been so controlling. But as soon as I saw her again nothing else had mattered but having her back in my life, and I’d been willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. Threatening to take Sam had been low, even for me, but the truth was, I’d wanted my son just as much. He was mine. Probably the single most important thing I’d ever done in my life.
If I hadn’t chased Allie away when she’d told me that she was pregnant, we wouldn’t have been strangers now. I intended to make up for lost time. Allie may not have liked or agreed with my intentions, but that was too fucking bad. I braced my hands against the wall and let the scolding water run down my backside. No matter how long I stood there, it didn’t wash away the shit that was my life. The chaos and danger of being in an MC, the killing and the threats, and now this new shit Covacks wanted to involve us in. It would mean a lot of money for the club, but at what price?
I turned the water off and left the shower. As soon as I stepped into my bedroom the aroma of something delicious reached my nose. Allie must have found something to cook for dinner. I’d had a pizza delivered for their lunch, but when I’d opened the box to grab a slice I’d found that all that was left was stripped of cheese and pepperoni. It hadn’t taken a genius to know that my son had been the culprit, and I had to laugh. I could remember doing the same damned thing when I’d been a kid.
Once I was dry I threw on a clean tee with the club logo on it, and a pair of jeans. I was at the top of the stairs when I took in the scene below. “Domestic” was the first word that came to mind, and for a minute it was easy to think that we were a happy little family. Allie had set the table, and she was dishing up something on a plate in front of Sam. Whatever the fuck it was it made my mouth water. The closer I got I was able to make out some kind of pasta dish, and a basket of crispy bread.
“Where the hell did you find the stuff to make this?” I asked, reaching the table. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done any shopping, and I sure as fuck couldn’t remember the last time a dinner had been cooked in my kitchen.
“You had a package of hamburger in the freezer that, thank God, didn’t have freezer burn.” She was dishing out some food onto her plate as she spoke. “You have a lot of outdated canned goods, but I found a jar of spaghetti sauce, a box of pasta, and some seasonings, so this seemed like the obvious choice.”
She sat down, leaving me to help myself. “Smells good,” I said, giving myself a big serving. “Thanks for setting a place for me.”
“Seemed only right, since this is your house and your food,” she responded while reaching for a piece of bread. “There was half a loaf of bread in the fridge, so I decided to make garlic bread with it.”
“Allie−” She glanced up just as she was putting a bite into her mouth. “This is your home now, yours and Sam’s. Make yourself comfortable.” She opened her pretty mouth to say something and I shook my head, warning her that I didn’t want to hear it. Then those pretty lips pressed together, making me grin around the mouthful of spaghetti I was chewing.
“Can I have more bread, Mom?”
Allie turned her attention to Sam. “Two is enough, Sam. Finish your pasta.”
“How many does Dad get?” he asked in a defiant little tone.
“As many as he wants, he’s a big man.”
“I want to be big like him.”
I smiled and gave Sam a wink. “It takes a lot of time and hard work to get to be my size,” I explained. “You eat too much bread and pasta, and you’ll end up looking like Humpty Dumpty instead.”
Sam giggled. Allie stared at me as if wondering how I knew anything about Humpty Dumpty. I shrugged and winked, before digging into my dinner. It was tasty. Not the best spaghetti I’d ever eaten, but a hundred times better than the shit the club girls dished up. I had a sneaking suspicion that all they did was open up a can. They weren’t there for their cooking skills anyway.
I thought about what I’d told Allie earlier, in the bathroom. She hadn’t seemed to care when I’d said that I would just go to the club to see to my needs. It’d been a while since I’d fucked a club girl. I hadn’t wanted to since finding Allie. But I was a man with needs, and if she was going to lock her pussy up, she couldn’t blame me for going elsewhere. There was no fucking way I was giving up pussy.
“Can I be excused?”
Sam’s voice cut through my thoughts, and I glanced over at him. He was a polite little guy, his eyes locked onto his mom while he patiently waited for her response.
“Are you sure that you’re full? There won’t be any snacking later,” Allie said, smiling. Sam nodded vigorously. “Okay, then. Run upstairs and get your shower and put your jammies on. You go to school tomorrow.”
“Awe, Mom! Do I have to?” His little bottom lip turned down in a mock frown. He swung his head in my direction. “Did you go to school?”
I had, but I hadn’t been very good at it. “Sure did, kid.” Right up until they’d kicked me out of high school for fighting. I wasn’t going to add that, though.
“Did you like it?” Sam continued.
I knew the smirk on my face would tell Allie what I refused to acknowledge to our son. “There were parts of it that I liked.” Like the girls I had access to in high school before I’d been kicked out. Especially the so-called good little girls who wanted to get tapped at least once by the school bad boy, and I was as bad as they came.
“Sam, honey, go get your shower.”
With his head down and a little pout on his mouth, Sam left the table. Allie’s gaze followed him like a hawk, a tolerant smile on her pretty face. “He thinks by trying to put his shower off that his bedtime will be later than usual.”
I nodded with understanding. “So, you’re going to enroll him into school tomorrow?”
“Yes, I wanted to talk to you about that.” I put my fork down and gave her my attention. “You know the area better than I do. Are there any private schools close by?”
“What’s wrong with Sam going to a public school? You want our kid to go around thinking he’s better than everyone else? Why private?”
“There’s nothing wrong with public schools except that the classrooms are a little too crowded. Private school class rooms are usually smaller. The kids receive more one-on-one interaction with their teacher.”
I frowned. “Does Sam have a learning disability?”
“No.”
“Then public schools are good enough.” I could tell that Allie didn’t like my decision. Her face turned red.
“I plan on getting a job so I can pay−”
I shook my head. “It’s not about the money. I can afford anything Sam needs. I just don’t happen to agree that he needs to attend a private school. Especially when the only one in the area only goes up to grade one. After that he’d have to go to public anyway.”
The silence that followed told me that she was thinking it over. What I said made sense. It would have been different if Sam could attend private school long enough to benefit from the smaller class rooms and more one-on-one with his teacher.
“We both went to public schools,” I added. “And we turned out okay.”
She glared at me for a minute before bursting out with laughter, surprising me. “Yeah, we’re good examples of what public schools did for us.” I shrugged, taking a bite of bread. “I guess public school it is, then.”
Allie didn’t sound very sure of
her decision, but I decided not to question it. No reason to beat a dead horse. I was just glad that she’d decided to get my input. As little as it was, it made me feel like a dad. I plowed the last forkful of spaghetti into my mouth while she scooted back her chair and got up.
“Will you be home tonight after your, ah, needs are taken care of?” she had the nerve to ask.
I looked up at her to gauge how serious she was. Her expression remained neutral, but something in her eyes, a vulnerability that she was trying to hide, kept me from snapping out my answer. I shouldn’t have given a fuck, but I did. She’d never know it, though. I couldn’t afford to give her that kind of control. As our gazes remained glued together I scooted back my own chair and got to my feet.
I shrugged. “Depends.”
“On what?”
“How many women it takes to satisfy my dick.”
Allie turned away but not before I saw the hurt in her eyes. “You’re a prick.”
I was a prick, but what did she expect? I liked sex, and she knew that. All my brothers did. We weren’t like women. Our hearts weren’t connected to our dicks. Relationships didn’t work for us, so we fucked any willing female that didn’t want strings.
I turned to head out, when Sam appeared at the top of the stairs. “Going out for a little while, Sam.” I waited for him to reach the bottom. “Won’t be home before you go to bed.”
“Where ya going?”
“I have some work to take care of.” I kept my answer simple so that he wouldn’t ask too many questions.
“Okay. Are you going with me and mom in the morning?”
“Do you want me to go?”
His eyes lit up. “Sure!”
His enthusiasm warmed me. “Then I’ll go.” I reached forward and ruffled his damp hair. “Listen to your mother, kid. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He ran off toward the TV and I turned to leave. I glanced Allie’s way but she had her back to me. She was doing something in the kitchen sink. The stiff way she held herself prompted me to go to her. I leaned up against her, setting my hands on the sink on either side of her and boxing her in.
“You gonna give me a kiss goodbye, baby?” I whispered into her ear. She shivered against me.
“Go fuck yourself, Rock,” Allie said low so that Sam wouldn’t hear her.
“I’d rather fuck you,” I growled, giving her ear a bite. Her slight reaction was enough to reveal that she wasn’t immune to me. I had half a mind to order Sam up to bed to see how far I could push her. “You smell so fucking good.” I nipped the skin beneath her ear, and then licked the pain away with my tongue.
“Why are you doing this, Rock? Why are you playing with me?”
“Because I can, babe.” I reached up and cupped her tit, squeezing it. “And you make it so fucking easy.”
She bumped her hips back but all she accomplished was rubbing her sweet ass into my hard dick. Laughing softly, I stepped back and left without another word.
Stubborn woman.
Chapter 15
Allie
With Sam tucked into bed and sleeping, I made my way back downstairs. In my search for something to make for dinner I’d discovered an unopened bottle of red wine. I didn’t know if Rock was saving it for a special occasion, and I didn’t really care. After the last few days I’d had I deserved a drink and some time to myself.
Rock had a screened in porch at the back of his house. I intended to pour a glass of wine and head out there to sit and listen to the quiet. I found a wine glass in the cupboard, a corkscrew in the drawer, and opened the bottle of Cakebread Pinot Noir, which was a more expensive wine than I was used to. The only reason I knew this was because Tom and I had shared a bottle one evening, and he’d tried to impress me with his wine knowledge.
Tom had called earlier to see how Sam and I were doing. No matter how hard he’d tried to sound upbeat, I could still hear the note of discontent in his tone. Hopefully in time he’d understand why I’d felt the need to leave. A mother should be with her child, and while Tom cared about Sam, he’d thought that I should remain behind giving Sam and Rock time to get to know one another without me. I knew that he’d meant well, but I hadn’t agreed with him. Rock and Sam could get to know each other just as well with me there.
I tried not to think about Rock and what he might be doing back at the club, but it was impossible not to, especially when he’d made his intentions very clear. Part of me blamed myself for that. Had I not been so stubborn and denied him he’d still be here with me. And just why had I denied him? I’d eagerly fucked him back in Cedar Key, the memory was still fresh in my mind. And my body remembered, too. It seemed that since then I’d stayed in a semi-state of arousal whenever he was around.
It wouldn’t take much effort on his part to break through that thin barrier and have me submit to him again. Rock knew how to play my body, how to keep me on the edge of tipping over until I was nothing but a weak mindless clump of woman-flesh he controlled fully. And when he finally let me explode? I swear that I’d black out for a second, at least I certainly wasn’t aware of my surroundings. In those moments I was only aware of him and what he was making me feel.
I shivered slightly, and I couldn’t blame it on the cooler temperature out on the porch. The man knew how to fuck, how to make me feel desired and alive. It occurred to me that I was punishing myself by holding him at bay. He’d ended my dry spell, and had created a horny woman who wanted it all the time.
Of course, he’d never know that.
Was he fucking someone right now? Tonguing another woman’s pussy, sucking her clit? Were his powerful hands skimming down her body, playing with her breasts? The thought of him kissing her left a sick feeling in my stomach, because kissing had always made it personal for me, had let me know that I was special.
I took a healthy sip of wine, fighting back tears. I was torturing myself and I knew it. Thinking about Rock with another woman was killing me inside. I gave my head a vigorous shake, determined to get the thoughts out of my head. The truth was, it was all my fault for what I was going through, and I was the only one who could change it.
The problem was, how could I change it without being obvious about it?
A small noise from somewhere out in the woods drew my attention. Rock’s house was surrounded by a square cut of turf, backing right up to a heavily wooded lot. I squinted into the night, trying to find the origin of the noise, but to no avail. It was dark now--very dark--beyond the lawn. The only light was behind me inside the house.
A crackling noise, as if something big was stepping on dry branches, was coming my way. I was more interested in seeing what it was then I was frightened. It was amazing how clear and loud the sound seemed in the night. I hadn’t realized how quiet it was before then. As I squinted into the woods, searching for a sign of what could be out there, a blinding light at the corner of the house came on.
I recognized it for what it was, a motion detector light, and the prize revealed was the huge buck that had just stepped from the cover of forest onto the lawn. Oh my God, he was beautiful! So proud and majestic as he stood there, poised, as if determining if it was safe to continue. I held my breath, watching as he stepped up to an apple tree on the edge of the yard and began to eat. I wondered if this was his nightly ritual. He seemed at ease and ate to his heart’s content before disappearing back into the woods. I was sad to see him go.
I couldn’t wait for Sam to see him.
“Beautiful, isn’t he?”
I let out a small scream and turned in my chair to see Rock opening the screen door to my left. I hadn’t even realized there was another way onto the porch until then.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He closed the door and walked my way.
“How long were you there?” My heart was still pounding.
“Long enough to wait until he was done eating, I didn’t want to frighten him off.” He sat down next to me.
“Does he come around often?”
&n
bsp; “Most nights. Sometimes the does come around, too. They all know about the apple tree.”
I couldn’t believe that we were sitting there making small talk about deer. I wanted to ask him about the club but was afraid of the answer. I looked him over as much as I could, using the light that was filtering out from the inside. Was his hair a little more mussed than usual?
“Sam sleeping?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It’s been a busy few days for him. It will be nice to get him back into school tomorrow and in a normal routine.”
“You did a good job, babe.” I just stared at him, blinking. “You did a good job raising him,” he explained. “He’s a good kid.”
“He is.” I smiled, Rock’s unexpected compliment making me feel warm inside. I suddenly felt guilty, knowing that I’d had Sam all to myself during those years. The last few days had shown me that Rock embraced fatherhood enthusiastically and without hesitation.
He released a deep breath. “I’ve done some thinking−”
“You did some thinking at the club?”
“Among other things,” he admitted. I hated that I knew what those other things were. “I wanted to claim you−”
“For the wrong reason.” Because of Sam, not because he wanted me.
“Will you stop fucking interrupting me?” he snapped. “I’m trying to do what’s right here,” he grumbled. “If claiming a woman because we have a child together isn’t the right reason, I don’t know what is. But you’re not on board with that. I get it. So if you’re serious about getting your own place I’ll help you out with that.”
I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t expected any of this. Had someone at the club talked him into giving me up? Because that’s what this amounted to in my mind, that he wasn’t going to fight for me. For us. But then I reminded myself that Rock wasn’t the kind of person to let someone talk him into anything. He was too alpha for that. Maybe there was a special woman at the club, someone he wanted over me. Then why had he fucked me in Cedar Key?
No Mercy Page 10