At that point, Matsumoto had an intense coughing fit and couldn’t continue. The video cut off, and then immediately resumed. Of course, the recording had been stopped and restarted. In reality, a considerable amount of time must’ve passed. Matsumoto was still sitting on the sofa and wearing the same clothes, but he now looked completely exhausted. After he cleared his throat and was about to resume talking, I hit the stop button.
I had returned home from work shortly after eleven in the evening. As soon as I entered my apartment, I opened the parcel I’d picked up from my postbox and popped the video into the player. I still hadn’t showered or eaten. Now that I could see it was going to be a long explanation, I figured I’d have dinner first, and then sit down to watch the rest. I live alone, so I can be pretty flexible with my time.
After graduating from university, I returned to Okinawa and started working as a part-time instructor at various vocational and cram schools, while working on my writing on the side. Four years ago, I won a literary magazine’s award for new writers. Since then, I’ve managed to get two or three new stories published a year, all short ones under a hundred pages in length. Trying to write while holding down several part-time jobs really cuts into my sleep. I’ve had some ideas for a full-length novel but not the time to finish one. To compensate, I try to make my short stories rich in content. I was thrilled to hear that Matsumoto had read everything I’d written.
I showered and changed, had dinner at a nearby twenty-four-hour coffee shop, and returned to my apartment. Then I settled down on the sofa with one of the beers I’d bought on the way home, and restarted the video.
—Sorry about that. I’ve had a really bad cough lately. Anyway, shortly after resigning from publishing, I spent about a year in New York. No great objective. Just wanted to get out of Japan. Acquaintances there helped me find an apartment, and I relied on friends to show me around, just like when I showed you around Tokyo. But in my case, I wasn’t a student anymore, so I was probably a real pain in the ass. Of course, I don’t mean to suggest that you were, because you weren’t....
When Matsumoto smiled, his dried-out-looking face filled with wrinkles. His bluish yellow complexion, however, might’ve been due to the poor lighting or video quality.
—Anyway, I guess I need to stop jumping around and get to the point. A guy I’ll call Jay lived two floors above me. He was a white guy in his mid-twenties, just a little younger than me. I’d see him all the time at this, uh, bar I used to hang out at. And then one day, he just comes up to me and starts talking. Well, before long, we became pretty good friends. He invited me to his place a few times, and I met his beautiful wife, who I’ll call Kate. They didn’t have any kids, so the three of us would go out to dinner or to the theater together. Yeah, thanks to my relationship with Jay, I made some fond memories that year. Well, at least for the second half of the year ... So anyway, the pendant, that was something Jay always wore around his neck. One day, we were drinking at the bar, when he suddenly asks me if I heard of Okinawa. I told him all the stuff I remembered from TV, magazines, and yeah, my discussions with you. He seemed really interested for some reason. Then he asks if I’ve ever been there. So I told him about my two trips. Said you could still see American military walking around, what with all the US bases and all.... All of a sudden, Jay pulls the pendant out of his shirt and says, This was made from a harpoon that a young Okinawan used against my grandfather during the war. Then he takes it off and puts it in my hand. It was heavy and kind of crudely made. Come to think of it, the way the chain was attached was kind of crude, too. But hearing it was a memento from the war, well, that just made it seem all the more authentic. So as I was checking out the pendant, Jay explained that his grandfather fought in Okinawa as a Marine, and that he was twenty-two at the time....
Matsumoto looked like he was on the verge of another coughing fit. He picked up the bottle of water on the table and took a few sips. Then he put it down and continued:
—According to Jay, his grandfather’s unit took control of a peninsula in the north. After that, they were stationed in some village doing mop-up operations against the Japanese hiding in the mountains. So one day, Jay’s grandfather and some of his buddies were swimming to a small island across from the village. And while they’re swimming, this young guy from the island comes out of nowhere, and stabs him with his harpoon. It was only like a month after the start of the battle. You know, the Battle of Okinawa. Ironically, Jay’s grandfather survived the war as a result. You see, he was hospitalized, and right after that, his unit was relocated. And wouldn’t you know it? They suffered heavy casualties during the fighting.... Apparently, the guy who made the pendant was from the same unit. Just before leaving for the front, he visited Jay’s grandfather in the field hospital. He was joking about it being a good luck charm, and said something like this: Yeah, lots of guys make charms out of bullets or shrapnel, but you’re gonna be the first with one made from a harpoon. Sad to say, the guy who made it was killed in action. And after Jay’s grandfather heard about his buddy’s death, he wore the pendant all the time....
I took a swig of beer and looked over at the clock. It was one in the morning, but I felt wide awake.
—The Okinawan who stabbed Jay’s grandfather was caught hiding in a cave in the woods. After that, he was interrogated. Nobody knows what happened to him. And nobody knows why he stabbed Jay’s grandfather. It couldn’t have been a personal grudge, so he must’ve been one of those crazy kamikaze types. Too bad for Jay’s grandfather, he ended up being the unlucky target. That’s not my theory, though. It’s what Jay heard from his father when he received the pendant. Apparently, Jay never heard anything from his grandfather directly.... As for Jay’s father, he was given the pendant when he enlisted in the Marines. Unbelievably, he signed up right in the middle of the Vietnam War. I suppose Jay’s grandfather thought the pendant saved him, so when his own son was about to head off to war, he gave it to him as a good luck charm. And that’s when he talked about his experiences in Okinawa. Apparently, the one thing Jay’s father never forgot, was how his father praised the man who stabbed him. Even said he was brave. Can you believe that?... Now, I doubt that pendant had magical powers or anything, but Jay’s father made it home safely from Vietnam. And shortly after that, Jay was born. Many years later, Jay graduated from college and got a job in New York. Just before he headed off, his father gave him the pendant. By then, Jay’s grandfather had been dead for many years. But like I said, Jay’s father passed on all the stories, too....
Matsumoto coughed several times, and then continued:
—Well, let me give you a little bit more detail about Jay’s grandfather, okay? To begin with, he died when Jay was about seven. Apparently, the guy reeked of alcohol all the time. Really stunk. And all he ever did was sit around watching TV or locked up in his room. And here’s the real shock: he died in a car accident, while he was still in his fifties. Supposedly, his car went off a cliff. Well, at least that was the official story.... Looking back, Jay suspected that it wasn’t really an accident. So one time on a visit home, Jay brings it up with his father. Asks him if something happened in Okinawa. Well, Jay’s father gets really annoyed and says something like, There must’ve been things that could only he understood by those who fought in combat.... Up until then, Jay’s father had never spoken about his experiences in Vietnam. But about a month later, Jay gets a late night phone call. It’s from his father, saying he wants to clear some things up. Yeah, about the pendant and his feelings and stuff. So anyway, he starts talking about how he was really torn and, uh... No, hold on. Let me try to dramatize it for you....
With that comment, Matsumoto reached over, picked up the water, and took a swig. Then he cleared his throat and continued:
—Okay. So this is Jay’s father talking: You know, son, I was really torn about whether to give you that pendant. When a man’s cornered, he wants to cling to something. And in Vietnam, I clung to that pendant and prayed several times. But such
peace is only temporary. Clinging to a pendant provides some relief, but getting out of trouble ultimately depends on two things: luck and your own strength. Well, son, I guess you already know all that. But, uh, the real reason I’m calling is this. I’ve thought about it, and I can’t help thinking that my father’s death was somehow connected to that pendant. Like you said, maybe something happened during the fighting in Okinawa. And maybe that’s why he was always in a bad mood and always getting drunk. The only thing I ever heard about the war was about that pendant. So I don’t want to speculate any more. When he gave it to me, he never said anything about passing it on to my own son. But I sensed that that’s what he wanted. And that’s why I gave it to you. But before I did, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. And I still have doubts. And then, when you asked about his death, those doubts grew even stronger. And that’s why I called. You see, I feel bad about it now. I know I should’ve kept my doubts to myself and saved you all the unnecessary anxiety. However, I think it’s best to return that harpoon head to where my father fought. So, listen, son. If you ever have children of your own, I don’t want you to pass it on to them. I want you to go to Okinawa and throw that pendant into the ocean yourself...
I paused the tape, grabbed another beer, and then pressed the play button again.
—So that was the phone call from Jay’s father. As he was listening, Jay realized he felt the same way about what to do with the pendant. As he pointed out, there was just no way for them to find out about his grandfather’s war experiences in Okinawa. But he knew that his grandfather must’ve really valued that good luck charm made from a young Okinawan’s weapon. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have held on to it all those years. Or passed it down to his grandchildren. Yeah, there must’ve been some really powerful emotions involved. Especially considering that he survived, while his buddies died.... But the fact that Jay agreed with his father didn’t mean he made any specific plans to take care of it. I mean, he wore the pendant all the time, but he was pretty busy with work, so the idea of going to Okinawa just passed out of his mind.... What got him thinking again was that, uh, incident. You remember, don’t you? About ten years ago, shortly after I met you, three US soldiers raped an elementary school girl in Okinawa. When you’re living in New York, you don’t hear too much about Okinawa, you know. But not surprisingly, Jay heard about the rape. He was shocked to learn that there are still huge US bases in Okinawa and over 20,000 troops stationed there. He said he couldn’t believe the US military was still there after all this time.... After that, Jay was on a mission. He researched about Okinawa in the library, started questioning all his Japanese acquaintances, and, uh, yeah, I was one of them. Don’t think we Japanese were too helpful, though. I mean, I couldn’t even answer half his questions. I could tell he knew more than I did. Jay also mentioned that he wanted to go to Okinawa some day. Said he wanted to see where his grandfather fought with his own two eyes. And that if that young Okinawan who stabbed his grandfather was still alive, he wanted to meet him....
Matsumoto cleared his throat several times, took some of his medicine, and faced the camera once more.
—Long story, wasn’t it? Of course, I didn’t hear it all at once. No, I pieced it together from the many discussions Jay and I had at the bar and his apartment. I told him that if he ever had the chance to come to Japan, to let me know before heading down to Okinawa.... However, Jay never got that chance.... Well, I’ll tell you about that next time. Sorry, but I’m too tired for today.... Talk to you later.
The smile on Matsumoto’s face was a strained one. He waved with his right hand, and the video broke off. He reappeared a moment later. Though sitting in the same place, he now wore a cream-colored polo shirt. Sunlight streamed through the window and fell across his face, making his complexion look healthier. His expression and voice seemed more energetic, too.
—Well, I watched what I recorded up to this point. But you know, it’s not easy talking into a camera like this. Nothing like talking face-to-face, which would’ve been much better. I mean, I could’ve gotten your reactions and answered all your questions. Unfortunately, this was the only way.... So anyway, about Jay. After I returned to Tokyo, we lost contact with each other. Oh, I suppose we could’ve kept in touch, if we really wanted to. Long-distance phone calls, mail, whatever. But I guess our relationship wasn’t that close. I got busy with everyday life and rarely thought of him. And just like that, five years passed by. Until one day, I suddenly got a packet in the mail from Jay’s wife, Kate. It contained a letter and the pendant. Hold on a sec. I’ll read you my translation.
Matsumoto reached over to the side, picked up a notepad, and started reading:
—I’m writing to let you know that Jay was in one of the Twin Towers that collapsed on September 11 four years ago. He was attending a business meeting with a company that had its office on one of the higher floors. His remains were never found. You already know about the enclosed pendant. Jay wanted to go to Okinawa some day and throw it into the ocean near the island where his grandfather fought in the war. He said that he told you all about it. He usually wore it, but on that day, for some reason, he left it on the dresser at home. I cheered myself up by thinking that he’d be coming back home to pick it up, so I left it in the same spot all this time. But eventually, I realized I couldn’t just leave it on the dresser forever. He greatly valued that pendant and always kept it close, so it’s been an important keepsake for me, too. However, I think it would be best to make Jay’s wish come true. I spoke with Jay’s parents and they agree. I’d like to go to Okinawa myself and do as Jay wished, but I don’t know if that will ever be possible. So I’d like to ask you to do it for me. I know it’s rude to ask after being out of touch for so long, but you’re the only person I know in Japan, so you’re the only one I can turn to. Any time that’s convenient for you is fine. If you ever have an opportunity to go to Okinawa, would you please fulfill Jay’s wishes? I would greatly appreciate your help.
With the notepad still in his hands, Matsumoto continued:
—Well, that’s my own translation, but I’m sure you get the gist. You remember those endlessly repeated images on TV, don’t you? You know, the planes plunging into the towers, one after another, and the moment of each building’s collapse. Yeah, I’m sure they’re burned into your memory, too. Honestly, I can’t say the thought never crossed my mind, but I never really imagined that Jay was in there. I mean, really in there.... So when I read this letter, I got really, really depressed. Up until then, all my memories of Jay had been fond ones. And I’m sure he felt the same way. Admittedly, we weren’t close friends who shared all our darkest secrets or anything. But still, having someone you know in one of the towers, somehow changes how you see it. Of course, I’d always felt bad for the people that died, but a part of me kind of felt that the US had it coming. But when I heard about Jay, that feeling completely vanished.... To tell the truth, though, and I know I’m contradicting myself, Jay’s death wasn’t all that much of a shock to me. And I apologize to Jay and Kate for saying this. What depressed me was my bad health. I guess hearing about Jay’s death made my own death really vivid. I couldn’t help thinking, In a flash, you’re gone. And then gradually you’re forgotten. I know, I know. I’m thinking too much.... When was it? Oh, about a year and two months ago, I guess. They found a malignant tumor in my lungs. They operated right away, but the results weren’t too good. You see, the cancer has spread through my entire body. Now I’m at home taking anticancer drugs. Yeah, I’m trying to stay positive. So anyway, about Jay and Kate. I’d like to fulfill their request myself, but I don’t think I can get on a plane. Way too exhausting for me. You know I’d love to go on a nice trip to Okinawa, if it were possible. But it’s not. And that’s why I’m sending you this video, to ask you to do this favor for me. I’ve got a few other acquaintances in Okinawa, but none that I could ask.... I know I should’ve gotten your approval first. I also know that I’m not really giving you much of a choice. Still, I hope yo
u’ll accept....
The video stopped and started again. As Matsumoto was sitting down, he put the notepad with his translation on the table.
—I should point out that, uh, when I first heard about the pendant, in that bar in New York, I immediately thought of you. And then when Jay mentioned a peninsula in the north, I remembered your hometown was up there. I also remembered that first story of yours. I mean, nobody from our generation still writes about the war. So I thought maybe you, only you, would understand how Jay feels. I know I’m being extremely pushy. But I really need you to take care of this for me. Take the pendant and throw it in the ocean. You know which island, don’t you? One you can swim across to, from a peninsula on the mainland? I guess this final request of mine sounds like a threat. But, uh, it really will be my final request, so I hope I can count on you....
In the Woods of Memory Page 12