He banged it on the podium. “All right, you guys. And gals.” He nodded toward the two female members. “You asked for this. My first item of business is to fine you all a buck for not listening to me when I said no. Charlie, pass the kitty. Make sure they all ante up. You first.”
Laughing, they all dug out their wallets.
As he looked around the room, Adam didn’t know whether to thank the Lord for this opportunity or to tell God he’d blown it. Either way, Adam vowed to do the best he could to make the Bear Lake Rotary the most outstanding club in the country. Maybe even the world.
If he succeeded, he’d have to give Janelle the credit. Without her, he never would have had the courage to tell the truth.
Rather than going back to work when he got home, Adam went in search of Janelle. He didn’t know if he was proud or scared about being the Rotary president, but he wanted to share the news with her.
He found her working at the dining-room table. She’d spread the floor plan of the log cabin on the table and was arranging cutout bits of paper representing pieces of furniture in the various rooms.
The muscles in his throat contracted and he swallowed hard. “Looks like you’re doing some serious planning.”
She glanced up and he noticed she was wearing the rose necklace he’d given her. He swallowed a second time. Would she remember him each time she wore the necklace? Or would he be forgotten as soon as she went out the door?
“I’m trying to figure out how the furniture I have in storage in Seattle will fit in such a small house. Basically, the answer is it won’t. Or at least I’ll have a lot of stuff to get rid of.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Hmm.” She cocked her head. “Is something wrong?”
“No, not really. It’s just that I told the Rotary Club why I couldn’t be their president. That I’m dyslexic.”
Her eyes widened. The hint of a smile tilted her lips momentarily and then she frowned. “How did they react?”
“They were pretty quiet at first. Then Charlie Brooks volunteered to be my assistant to read stuff. So they went ahead and elected me president.”
“Oh, Adam...” She leaped up from her chair and threw her arms around his neck.
He held her close, inhaling her floral-scented shampoo.
“I’m so proud of you. I know how hard it was for you to admit—”
He didn’t want her to talk anymore. So he stopped her with a kiss. The kiss he’d wanted to repeat since that first time in the lobby of the IRS building. A kiss that he wanted to continue for as long as possible. And never let her go.
He shifted his position to hold her more tightly.
Slowly she pushed away, letting her hands slide down his arms. The gold flecks in her brown eyes glittered like sunshine.
“Congratulations.” Her voice had a husky quality he’d never heard.
“Thanks. It’s all your doing, you know. Without you, I never would have told them.” Granted, his knees were still knocking and his stomach was unsettled, but the ordeal was over. They all knew the truth now. The town would know soon enough.
A tiny frown pulled her brows together. “You’re happy you told them, aren’t you?”
He nodded. “It’s better not to have to keep it a secret anymore.”
A bell ringing out on the deck caused them both to look in that direction. The girls were out there. He dropped his arms from around Janelle. She took a step back.
“What are the girls up to?” he asked.
“Hailey decided she should get Rae used to going to school. She got out some of her old coloring books and the whiteboard she keeps in her room. She’s the teacher and Rae is her student.”
“Cute.”
“It is.” Janelle smiled fondly as she watched the girls. “She has Raeanne writing her letters and her numbers and coloring inside the lines. When they get tired of that, Hailey rings a bell for recess.”
“My favorite period, recess.”
“I bet you were the best dodgeball player in the school.”
He had been. In order not to be teased for being so “dumb” in class, he had to be the best fighter, too.
Today he hadn’t had to fight. The class dunce had just been elected president of the class.
It felt plenty good.
Janelle had felt plenty good in his arms. But he didn’t know how to keep her there.
Chapter Seventeen
Later that evening the phone rang. Automatically, Janelle picked up the extension on the kitchen counter.
“Hello.” There was silence for a moment, long enough to make her think it was a telemarketer calling.
“I’m not sure I have the right number,” a woman said at last. “Is Adam there?”
She shot a glance toward Adam, who was relaxing on the couch and watching a baseball game on television. “Yes, just a moment please.” She covered the mouthpiece on the phone. “It’s for you. A woman.” A woman with a very pleasant voice, Janelle thought with an unwelcome spurt of jealously.
“Thanks.” Not appearing either concerned or delighted, he walked over to the counter and took the phone. “Hello...Hey, Mom, I was thinking about you this morning. Sorry I haven’t called lately.”
Janelle left the kitchen, scolding herself for feeling so relieved. Even if it had been an old girlfriend, or a new one, there was no reason for her to become jealous. She and Adam had no agreement beyond bookkeeping services. Their kiss this afternoon—and the one at the IRS office—didn’t mean they had a romantic relationship. Certainly there’d been no talk of a commitment. Rightfully so. She had to get her own life settled before she could even consider such a thing.
She had no claim on Adam.
“No, Mom, I’m just doing her a favor,” she heard Adam explain. “She brought her car in after an accident and needed a place for her and her daughter to stay for a few days.”
It sounded as though Mom had a lot of questions about the woman who had answered the phone. Janelle couldn’t blame her.
She picked up the book she’d been reading earlier but couldn’t help hearing his side of the conversation. Evidently, since his wife died, he hadn’t generally had a woman in the house. Which was a relief to know, of course, but none of Janelle’s business.
It was also nice to hear his love for his mother in his voice. Some men weren’t that attached to their parents, often ignoring them or carrying on feuds over past insults, real or imagined. Adam would never be one of those men.
As his conversation began to wind down, she concentrated on her book. A complicated mystery, she’d lost track of who the characters were and their respective motives for murdering a stranger who had come to town. She turned back a few pages to pick up the story thread she’d lost.
Adam hung up the phone. “That was my mother.”
She glanced up from the book. “I gathered as much.”
“Dad’s off with his astronomy buddies. I think she was feeling lonely.”
Nodding, Janelle said, “I guess having a woman answer your phone surprised her.”
He stuck his fingertips in the back pockets of his jeans. “Don’t worry about it. I explained things.”
“I heard.” Heard him backpedaling as fast as he could to deny any romantic connection between them. Which was the proper thing to do.
“She’s okay. I think you’d like her.”
“I’m sure I would.” His mother had, after all, raised Adam into a fine, hardworking, generous man who was an excellent father. Those were admirable traits.
Traits that could make a woman fall in love with him even when she shouldn’t. She glanced down at her book, where she found that the words had blurred.
He picked up the TV remote. “I’d better get to work on my reading lesson. You want the TV on?”
“No, I’ll read for a while. I’m not much of a baseball fan. You go ahead.”
Janelle wondered if he’d miss her when she moved into the new house. She imagined the quiet in that small, cozy cabin and knew she’d miss him. And Hailey. The noise. The laughter. Knowing there were people other than her daughter nearby whom she cared about very much.
Giving up all pretense of reading, she closed her book. She was making herself maudlin about leaving Adam’s house and moving into her own place. That wasn’t how she imagined it would be when she set off from Seattle with her grand plan of starting a new life.
She squeezed the book in her hands. Please, Lord, help me through this. Guide me. Help me to walk the path You have planned for me and give me peace in the decisions I have to make. Thy will be done. Amen.
* * *
All the next day, Adam was a wreck. He’d never dropped so many screwdrivers and wrenches in his life. Nuts and bolts slipped through his fingers as if they were covered in grease.
He was going to lose Janelle. Sure, he could call her for a date after she moved out. Court her properly. Take her out to dinner. Even arrange for playdates for the girls.
But it wouldn’t be the same without her here. In his home. In his life every day.
Yet he had no right to ask her to stay. Why would she want to? She’d said all along she planned to start over in a new home with Raeanne. That was her goal. To establish her independence and begin again.
She had every right to build the life she wanted.
He didn’t have the right to stop her. Even if that was a possibility, which he doubted.
At dinner that evening, Janelle dropped the bomb he’d been dreading.
“Sharon called this afternoon. She’s talked with the owners of the cabin. Everything looks good. I’m going over to Sharon’s office first thing in the morning to sign the official offer on the house.”
The mac and cheese she’d prepared for dinner turned into a stone in Adam’s stomach. “If that’s what you’ve decided, sounds good.” The stone grew into a boulder. He put his fork down.
“Are you really going to move into that cabin?” Hailey asked, a tiny whine in her voice.
“That’s the plan.” Janelle spoke almost too brightly. With too much enthusiasm. “Sharon thinks she can get a short escrow. Maybe as short as fifteen days.”
“But that’s only two weeks,” Hailey complained. Her lower lip quivered.
Adam’s lip would have quivered, too, except he was biting down hard to keep from begging Janelle to stay. Don’t leave me! Don’t leave us!
Raeanne jumped down from her chair. She came around the table and gave Hailey a hug. “Don’t cry. Mommy says we can come visit you. I’ll bring Kitty Cat with me. I promise.”
“But I don’t want you to go.” Hailey broke into sobs. The girls rocked back and forth in each other’s arms.
Adam was pretty choked up himself. When he looked at Janelle, he thought she was, too. Her lips pursed together. Tears shimmered in her eyes. She was a woman. She ought to know how to deal with two crying females. He sure didn’t.
“Girls, I want you to finish your dinner.” She glanced at him, but he couldn’t offer any help. “We have ice cream for dessert. We can talk about the move tomorrow after I’ve seen Sharon. Now is the time to eat.”
Raeanne trudged back to her chair. Instead of sitting down, however, she put her arms around her mother. “I don’t want to go, Mommy. I want to stay here with Hailey and Adam.”
Janelle squeezed her eyes shut. A tear clung to the tips of her eyelashes. “We’ll talk tomorrow, sweetie. Everything’s going to be all right. You’ll see.”
Adam wasn’t so sure.
* * *
After Janelle and Raeanne left to go to the cottage for the night, Adam sat on the couch thinking. He leaned his elbows on his thighs, his hands clasped together between his knees. He worried a hangnail on his thumb.
Hailey was already in bed. He didn’t think he’d be able to sleep if he called it a night.
How could he get Janelle to stay with him? Did he even have a right to ask? She’d been married. Maybe she wasn’t ready to try it again. Not so soon after she lost her husband, anyway. Although he’d gathered her relationship with her husband had lacked something. Something he wanted to give her. His undying love.
He couldn’t get over the fact that Janelle had encouraged him to open up to his friends and his daughter, tell them about his dyslexia. Lisa had loved him but had always wanted him to keep his disability a secret.
Janelle genuinely accepted him.
But could she love him?
He got up and walked out onto the deck. The temperature had dropped into the high fifties. Fall was coming fast. A high overcast blocked all but the brightest stars. The North Star. The points of Pegasus. Lyra.
How come he could read the stars but he couldn’t read words on the page? He couldn’t read Janelle, either.
What was she thinking over in the cottage? No light showed around the edges of the window. She was probably already in bed dreaming about her new home.
He kicked at a pile of stones the girls had left on the deck. He had to do something. He couldn’t let her go without at least trying.
But not face-to-face. He didn’t think he could stand to see rejection in her expressive brown eyes.
Back inside, he went into the kitchen. Lisa had always kept a pad of paper and some pencils in one of the drawers. He yanked it open and pawed through a collection of junk. A box of rubber bands. A sheet of thumbtacks. Glue and scissors.
Uncovering the pad and pencils, he placed them on the kitchen table and sat down. This might be the dumbest thing he’d ever done. Writing a love letter when he was still barely able to read. Or write.
He licked the tip of the pencil.
Dere Janie...
* * *
After a restless night, Janelle dressed for her trip to the Realtor. She wished she were more excited about this step in her life and not having so many second thoughts.
“You ready for breakfast?”
Raeanne, sitting on the edge of the bed with Kitty Cat, had one monster of a puffed-out lower lip. Poor kid. She was as distraught about the house Janelle had picked out as her mother was. Or, more likely, she hadn’t adjusted to leaving Hailey. And Adam.
If truth be known, Janelle hadn’t adjusted, either. The loss of the closeness she’d developed with Adam, so quickly, made her heart ache.
“If you don’t tuck your lip back inside your mouth, a big old fly is going to sit on it,” Janelle teased.
Raeanne sucked her lip back into place. “Do we have to move?”
“We can’t stay here forever, sweetie. This is Adam’s house, not ours.”
She canted her head toward Janelle. “Hailey said if you and her daddy got married, we could all stay here together.”
Heat rushed to Janelle’s cheeks. Children certainly knew how to get to the crux of the matter. And they lived in a fantasy world of happily-ever-afters, a world that didn’t really exist. Not based on her experience. Dreams didn’t always come true.
Seeing no good way to respond to Rae’s comment, she smoothed her hand over her daughter’s hair. “You know how much I love you, don’t you?”
She looked up with her big brown eyes. “More than the moon and the stars and the sky.”
“That’s right.” Janelle had been repeating those words to Raeanne ever since she’d been a baby, and her love for Rae hadn’t change a bit in all those years. Nor would it in a hundred more years. “Let’s go have some breakfast.”
To her surprise, although the coffee was ready, there was no sign that Adam had eaten any breakfast. She couldn’t hear the shower running. He wasn’t out on the dock fussing with his boat.
&nbs
p; She concluded he’d either had an early appointment or had gone out to the garage to get some work done.
She poured herself some coffee and got down some cereal for Raeanne. About then Hailey shuffled into the kitchen sporting serious bedhead. She went directly to the cupboard to get her own cereal.
“Good morning, Hailey. You look like you’re still sleepy.”
She made a nonverbal grunting response as she got the milk out of the refrigerator.
“Do you know where your dad is?”
Hailey lifted one shoulder. “In the garage, I guess.”
So much for scintillating morning conversation. It wasn’t often Hailey’s bubbly personality went into hiding.
They ate in silence; the girls their cereal and juice; Janelle, toast and coffee. Not even Kitty Cat seemed able to stir up any interest from the girls despite her best efforts at frolicking around the kitchen.
When they were finished, Janelle rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher.
“I’m going to make sure Adam’s all right with my leaving you girls here with him. Then I’ll go on to the Realtor’s office.” She kissed both girls and got only a lukewarm response. “Behave yourselves. I love you.”
Her determination to buy the cabin faltered. The girls both looked so unhappy, particularly Raeanne. Maybe she ought to keep hunting for a better house. Or even find one to rent nearby so the girls could see each other more often.
But kindergarten enrollment was next Monday. School started for all the students on Wednesday. There’d be little chance for the girls to get together. Besides, Hailey would be with her friends at school. Hanging out with a five-year-old might not have the same appeal as during the summer when friends were out of town or hard to reach.
“I’ll be back soon,” she promised. Squaring her shoulders, she went out the door.
Adam was leaning against her car.
Janelle’s footsteps faltered. “Is something wrong? I missed you at breakfast.”
He pushed away from the car. “Nothing’s wrong.” Although his tone suggested something was amiss. “I wanted to give you something before you left to see Sharon.”
Montana Love Letter Page 18