The Price of Love

by Cassy Roop

  Cassie handed me a cup of water with one of those bendy straws. I sit up and take large gulps until the cup was empty. I did not think I had ever been this thirsty in my life.

  After handing the cup back over to Cassie, I turned to face Tristan. “You know about the baby?” I asked him meekly.

  The corners of his mouth turned up slightly and then answered me with a simple “Yes”.

  I was planning on telling him the day that Brett kidnapped me. It ripped me apart that this was the way he found out. I was also a bit scared of his reaction. It was even scarier not knowing where our relationship stood. I did not know if I would trust him. He broke all that trust when he lied to me. I let my walls down completely with him like I never had anyone before. Not even Cassie.

  “I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” I offered in apology.

  “Cassie told me the night Brett took you.”

  “Oh.”

  “How-how do you feel about it?” I asked.

  “Seeing that Brett fucking took you off into places unknown, I was scared Kendall. Fucking scared out of my mind. But I was so elated to hear that you are carrying my child. I was through the moon and scared out of my mind at the same time wondering what was going to happen to the two of you.”

  He was elated? My tension eased somewhat. I was still uncertain about our future and that had me still feeling apprehensive.

  “Kendall, I know I lied to you. I promise you Angel, everything I did was for you. To protect you. I knew how sick and twisted Brett was. That is why I followed him that day when he attacked you outside of the coffee shop.”

  I nodded not knowing what to think. The fact was he still lied to me. His very flesh and blood brother killed my family. Somehow that was a little hard to let go. I started to feel an overwhelming sadness. My baby will never know its grandparents. He or she will never get to have that bond that every grandparent had with their grandchild.

  “I’m tired.” I whispered as I turn my head away from Tristan so that he could not see the tears run down my cheek.

  “Of course. Lay back and gets some rest,” Tristan’s ordered gently.

  “I-I want to be alone.”

  I could tell he was hurt by my request without even looking at him. I could not look at him right now because if I did, I knew I would not let him go. Right now I needed him to go. I needed to get myself together and think about mine and the baby’s future and I could not do that with him here.

  He let out a big exhale, feeling defeated. “Of course. We’ll go and let you get some rest.”

  “I’ll be back in a while Kendall,” Cassie said as she leaned down to give me a hug. They both made their way toward the door. Cassie looked back and gave me a small smile before leaving. When Tristan got to the door he went to open it but then stopped to turn around and face me.

  “Kendall, I know you probably don’t believe me. I do not blame you for it either. I just want you to know that I never once lied about loving you. Every touch, every feeling I have for you real. I have never wanted someone so much in my life. I just wanted you to know. I want to be in your life. I want to be in our baby’s life and not just as a part-time father. I want to be a full time family and I want that with you.”

  I looked at him as the tears rolled down my face. He looked like he was about to say something else, but thought better of it and turned and walked out the door. He had barely enough time to even make it across the threshold before my head collapses in my hands and I cried for what we had lost.

  Chapter 26

  Kendall

  I spent nearly a week in the hospital before the doctors discharged me. I had not seen or heard from Tristan since the day he walked out of my hospital room. I knew he had been keeping tabs on me via Cassie though. A part of me was upset that I had not heard from him, but the other part was glad that he was giving me some space to think.

  A week later I was still as confused about us as I was before. Cassie had been hovering over me like a helicopter mom on steroids. She acted like if I did anything physical I was going to break. She also knew that I was very close to breaking emotionally.

  We were sitting on our couch in our tiny apartment watching crap TV and eating popcorn. It was the one food that I could manage to stomach right now without gagging. Cassie had remained mostly quiet next to me. I could tell by her demeanor that she was dying to say something to me.

  “Spit it out Cass,” I said as I pop a handful of popcorn into my mouth.

  “What?” she asked.

  “You know what. I know you are dying to say something to me, so just get it out.”

  “Ok fine,” she said as she picks up the remote and turned off the TV. Turning so that she could face me, she grabbed the popcorn and sets in down on the coffee table.

  “Kendall, I love you more than I would even if you were my own sister. I have watched you overcome losing so much, but I cannot stand back and let you let him go.”

  She didn’t have to elaborate on who the him was that she was referring to. I knew all too well she was talking about Tristan.

  “Yes, he lied. He lied big time, but I don’t think he did it to hurt you Kendall. He did it to protect you, to keep you safe. He knew Brett better than anyone. He didn’t want to let happen what almost did.”

  My mind flashed back to the night I was shot. I knew how she was feeling because if that bullet would have hit Tristan instead of me, I don’t know what I would had done.

  “Kendall that man loves you. I have watched him every day since the night you were shot pine away for you. The man is beside himself. I have watched you come alive for the first time since you lost your mom and dad. Tristan is the one who did that. He is the one who brought the sunlight back into your eyes and the glow in your smile.”

  She reached down and grabbed both of my hands and held them firmly in hers.

  “I do not want to see you go back there. I do not want to see you give up on your chance for happiness. He is your other half Kendall. You two belong together. I think you need to give him a chance.”

  “How do I trust him again Cass? I’m scared. It is not just me I have to think about now. I have to think of the baby. I love him, I do, I just don’t trust him.”

  “You don’t know you can trust him. How do we really know we can trust someone? We don’t. We just have to have enough faith to trust that other person with our hearts. It is the price of love. It is the price we pay. We sacrifice ourselves to ensure that the person we love the most is nothing but happy. We live every day to make sure that happens. Tristan is like that with you. He is your penguin Kendall. Your mate for life. You know it. You cannot let the past dictate your future. Trust me I know.”

  I gave her a quizzical look. I knew that she and Jackson had been having issues in their relationship. Maybe she was realizing that she was making the same mistakes that I was.

  “When did you get so wise?” I said joking with her as tears welled up in my eyes.

  “Just don’t give up yet hun. Don’t give up without even trying.”

  She was right.

  “Ok. I--I’ll try. Should I call him? What should I do?”

  “I think that would be a great start,” she said with a small smile.

  I leaned over and gave her a bone crushing hug. If it wasn’t for this woman coming into my life when she did, I did not know that I would ever had made it. She had been my rock for so long. I only hoped that she could find her own happiness.

  “Thank you Cass. I love you to the moon and back.”

  “To the moon and back,” she repeated. “Go. Go get your man.”

  I got up off the couch and made my way to my bedroom. I reached for my phone on the nightstand and sad down on the edge of my bed. I stared at the phone resting in my hands for several minutes before I finally got the nerve to dial his number and press send. He answered on the second ring.

  “Kendall? Is everything ok? The baby, is he ok?” he asked worried.

  I cleared my throat
trying to swallow the lump that was sitting there. Just hearing his voice through the phone calmed me. I could not believe how much I had missed him since he had not been there.

  “We are fine. In fact that is why I am calling. I have a doctor’s appointment the day after tomorrow. Would--would you like to go? I mean it is just a follow up from the hospital and a combined prenatal checkup.”

  He sighed.

  “Angel, nothing would make me happier. Are you sure though?”

  My heart swelled at the sound of his nickname for me. God I had missed hearing it.

  “Yes, I am sure. You can meet me there or we can ride together. Whichever is easier for you.”

  “I’ll pick you up and we can ride together,” he offered. “Just text me the time and I will be there.”

  “Ok, I will. I’ll see you in a few days.”

  “See you in a few days, Angel.”

  I waited for him to hang up the phone not wanting to be the one to do it. I knew I was acting like a stupid teenager. A few minutes passed and I realized we were both still hanging on the line, not wanting to let go.”

  “God it’s good to hear your voice, Angel. I have missed you desperately.”

  “I--I miss you too, Tristan. I just need some time. I need to feel like I can trust you again.”

  “I understand. I will do everything in my power to prove to you that you can. I promise you, Angel.”

  “Good night, Tristan.”

  “Good night, Angel.”

  I finally hit the end call button.

  Tristan

  I was a nervous fucking wreck as I get ready to pick up Kendall for her appointment. I was so anxious to see her, to just be near her. My everyday quality of life had been lacking without her presence in it. I hoped that I could find my way back into her heart again. I would do anything.

  As Garrison pulled up outside her apartment, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. If that made me a fucking pansy, so be it. I would wear a huge sign that says so if it led her back to me.

  I got out and walk to the front of her building and ring the buzzer. Technically, I own the building and all I had to do was enter my universal passcode, but I wanted her to trust me. I was going to do things right this time.

  “Come on in,” she said as she buzzed me in. I walked down the hallway and thank God that I had the security on this building upgraded, especially now that Kendall was carrying my child. Although, if I had it my way she would be living with me instead of in this place.

  As I approached her apartment door, she opened it and I come face to face with my heart. She was so beautiful. My breath gets caught for a moment before I realized that I had stopped breathing.

  “Ready to go?” I asked trying not to sound affected.

  “Yes, just let me grab my purse.”

  Kendall

  Our ride to the doctor’s office was a little awkward. There was a lot of uncomfortable silence between us. Neither one of us wanted to say much for fear of reaching out to each other.

  “How have you been feeling?” Tristan said finally breaking the silence.

  “The wound is healing ok. It still hurts to make sudden moves sometimes, but other than that I am ok.”

  “And my baby?”

  I could not help but have a small smile at his possessive reference to his baby. “He or she is doing fine as well. I still get sick from random smells though. And don’t think about bringing any seafood around. Just the thought makes me gag,” I said with a shiver. Tristan chuckles slightly.

  Minutes passed and we were back to our awkward silence. Garrison pulled up to my clinic and Tristan helped me out of the back of the car. The same electric feeling passed through my body with just the touch of his hand. The skin on skin contact sent tingles down my spine.

  “Thank you,” I said politely.

  Tristan never let go of my hand as we made our way in to the reception area of my doctor’s office. I wonder if he even noticed. Either way it did not matter. I felt a sense of comfort from it.

  “Have a seat. I will go check you in.”

  I nodded and sit in one of the vinyl upholstered chairs in the waiting room. Looking to the table next to me, I found several magazines about pregnancy and babies. It was the one on top that grabbed my attention. There was a picture of a man and a woman in a loving embrace with their newborn. The smile on their faces hint at the happiness that they were feeling. The closeness and intimacy of the photo had me nearly in tears. Would I ever have that same feeling? Could I look past Tristan’s lies and forgive him enough for us to be a family?

  Tristan made his way over to me and took the seat next to me. He looked down at the magazine in my hands and I watched as a nostalgic look crosses his beautiful face. It then turned to one of torment and pain. Was he thinking the same thing?

  “Kendall Jones.”

  My thoughts were interrupted by the nurse calling my name. I stood and start to walk over and noticed that Tristan did not follow.

  “Do you want to come back too?” I asked him as I turned around to face him where he was still sitting.

  He got up from the chair and approached me. “I would love nothing more.”

  I gave him a small smile and turned back and headed towards the nurse. She led us to a room and instructed me to set my things down on the counter. She took my blood pressure and weight all the while Tristan kept his distance in the corner of the room. When the nurse finished she handed me a sheet and instructed me to get undressed from the waist down.

  After taking the sheet from her, she left the room to allow me to get undressed. My gaze lingered toward Tristan.

  “I can step out a moment if you like,” he offered.

  “No, it’s ok. Nothing you haven’t seen before right?”

  “Right,” he said and I didn’t miss the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

  I shimmied out of my jeans and slipped my underwear down my legs. The heat in Tristan’s eyes at my actions was unnerving. The insurmountable electric charge between us could be felt radiating all around us. I could feel myself instantly growing wet just from his heated gaze alone.

  Get it together Kendall.

  I sit down on the table and reached over to grab the sheet. Tristan was next to me in an instant and grabbed the sheet for me. He unraveled it and then gently placed in in my lap. His hands lingered on my thighs for just the briefest moments before he removed them. My skin burned from where he touches me.

  He cleared his throat. “Better?” he asks a little breathlessly.

  “Yes, thank you.” I looked up and find his gaze on me. His emerald green eyes were dark and unwavering as he stared at me intently. Something passes between us in that moment, but before I would open my mouth to say something, the nurse rolled a large machine into the room and the doctor followed her into the room.

  “Good Morning, Kendall. How are you feeling?” she asked me only her gaze was not on me but the beautiful man next to me.

  “Nauseous.” I said. She chuckled.

  “That is completely normal in the early stages of pregnancy. I can give you something for relief if you want it.”

  She turned to Tristan and offered her hand. “You must be the husband, I’m Dr. Michaels.”

  He was shocked by her assumption and he stuttered, “I-well-I…”

  I stepped in to save him. “This is the baby’s father, Tristan Price.”

  She looked at him in shock and recognition sets in. He always gets that reaction when people discover that he was “The Tristan Price”. I chuckle.

  Turning to me she smiled. “Are you ready to see the baby?”

  I smiled in return and nodded my head. I lay back on the table and exposed my belly.

  “You are still early in your pregnancy. We will try for an image through your abdomen, but if we cannot see anything we will use the internal probe.”

  She squirted a warm jelly on to my belly and then took a wand and pressed it to my lower stomach. A screen on th
e monitor lit up with a grey, fuzzy image. Soon a fast pulsing sound filled the room.

  “What is that?” I asked her.

  “That, my dear, is your baby’s heartbeat.” She smiled as she continued to move the wand around on my belly. She paused keeping the wand in place on my belly and points to the screen. “And that right there is your baby.”

  Tristan had been keeping his distance this entire time. When the doctor pointed to the baby on the screen, he moved in a little closer. I looked up to meet his gaze and his eyes were glistening with unshed tears. We both glared at the screen where the steady flicker of our little one’s heartbeat gave evidence of the life we created together. My heart swells and I as overcome with emotions.

  “Wow,” Tristan said.

  Instinctively I reached for his hand. He entwined our fingers together and it was in that moment that I felt completely, blissfully happy.

  “That’s our baby,” I told him. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead.

  “Thank you Kendall. Thank you for giving me this.”

  Over the next several weeks I finally felt well enough to go back to work. Laura had been wonderful in letting me take time off to be able to recover from the incident. She thought it best though to send someone else to finish the last few hotel opening reviews in my place. Cassie went back to Europe to photograph the remaining locations and Jackson went with her.

  They were an odd couple those two. One minute they were hot and heavy and the next minute she was pushing him away. I only hoped they could work out their differences. Something was obviously plaguing Cassie to the point that she would not allow herself to be with Jackson completely. I was going to make it my mission to confront her about it when she returns.

  I had mostly worked from home on a few editorial articles and write ups. Nothing too daunting or task heavy, Laura’s orders. She asked me if I still wanted to be the one to do the personal interview with Tristan for the final issue. I turned her down. I think given the circumstances it would be a bit of a conflict of interest for me to carry out the interview.